In the year 2011...

A week or so back I was asked to write up for work where I envisioned myself in five years. I was so tempted to write the following.

“In five years I shall have accomplished the majority of my goal of taking over the world. Nations shall tremble at the very sound of my name. Armies shall be poised to act upon my every whim. Statues of me will be raised in the squares of cities around the globe with celebrations that will make carnivale appear to be a church picnic. Mothers will look into the eyes of their newborn and pray that their child could grow up to be just like EC.

That, or I’d like to have a cubicle with a window. Right now it’s pretty much an either/or proposition.”

Yeah, sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy.

(Why yes, The Brain from Pinky and the Brain is one of my favorite characters of all time. What makes you ask?)

Oh well, the long weekend is almost over and I’m almost looking forward to getting back to work. I said almost because, well, I am human after all. I’ll look forward to going to the office when going to the office implies sitting on my couch and watching ESPN Classic all afternoon (well, except for Arliss, how the hell did that make the programming chart?) But I am running out of things to do in my apartment. I’ve cleaned and organized everything that needs to be cleaned or organized. I mean, you can even see the floor now. Not that that is entirely a good thing but you can now be assured that my apartment actually has a floor. I give it a good forty eight hours before entropy returns.

I was never able to pull off that argument with my mom. “Clean up your room.” “But disorder is the natural state of the universe. By cleaning my room all I am doing is slowing down the inevitable.” For some reason, conceptual physics is not the best tact to take in an argument.

One last random note: last week Pandora.com decided that based on my vast musical collection that I was really in the mood for Shania Twain songs. I’ve never felt simultaneously depressed and embarrassed in my life. Years of searching out the most obscure and talented artists and all that means is that I really should be listening to vapid country pop from Canada. And it’s based on a computer algorithm so you know it has to be right.