The Fumble: Part Two

I sensed a great disturbance in the force tonight. It was as if a million souls in Ohio cried out in anguish at once. That said, it is Ohio that we are talking about. You have a million souls there crying out in anguish every other day.

No, I didn’t even bother to watch the LeBron James infomercial. If I had any respect for ESPN, which I haven’t ever since they stopped showing Australian Rules Football, I would have lost it just for agreeing to put on such a sham of a program. They basically made a one hour commercial out of a story that they had been promoting ad nauseum for the past two years. My only hope is that LeBron had the hats of all of the NBA teams in front of him like he was a high school football prospect. Also, this just goes to show what happens when a teammate sleeps with your mom. Allegedly.

Your Lindsay Updates: I’ve got two this evening. One is insane because it actually matches what I wrote last night. Apparently Lindsay actually did tweet about her unlawful imprisonment including invoking Amnesty International’s favorite document: the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I’m not sure where in that document it states that you can get busted on a DUI and cocaine possession charge and not have to go to jail but it’s the UN; no one ever reads what they put out anyway.

The second point is that her lawyer apparently quit today. I’d like to state right now that I am willing to take up her case pro bono. (Actually, I’m pretty much anti-Bono due to my dislike of U2’s work post Zooropa but that is a story for another day.) True, I don’t have a law degree but I have watched a lot of Law and Order and promise to spend the next few weeks watching USA and TNT to make sure I haven’t missed anything. That and a few episodes of Matlock and I should be good to go. I’m planning a defense in which we declare her an endangered species. Not too far from the truth.

That is all for tonight. Try to stay cool out there.