Fumbling a vow

Let’s add Tiki Barber to the list of celebrities who cheated on their spouses. In Tiki’s case he has left his wife, who just happens to be eight months pregnant with twins, to hook up with a 23 year old intern. It is one thing to cheat on your wife, it is another to ruin your marriage with an affair but cheating on your pregnant wife and leaving her might be the coldest thing imaginable. Oh, and he already had two kids with her. As he said in his memoir, “My family means everything to me.” Apparently the unborn kids don’t count in that equation.

I mean, he was even on Project Runway with his wife. How can you cheat on someone if you willingly appear on Project Runway? You have been told on several occasions to make it work. Heidi Klum is going to be so pissed.

Here is my thing. I can understand theoretically why guys cheat. I could even discuss how from an evolutionary standpoint there is a logical basis for such behavior. The thing is I can’t for the life of me figure out how any guy would actually do it. All I know is from my perspective if I cheated it would absolutely kill me. Kim would kill me as well but that would be nothing compared to what I would do to myself.

I may have told this story before but I’ll tell it again because it really shows my viewpoint. A few weeks ago I had a dream in which I was an ESPN news personality. I have no idea why nor do I have a reason why my co-anchor, who seemed to be a weird combination of Hannah Storm and Bonnie Bernstein, kissed me. I do know that in the dream my first reaction was going “No, no” and then freaking out because I was going to have to explain this to Kim and my life would be ruined by this crazy woman who kissed me.

Then I woke up and went, “What a nightmare.” I felt absolutely horrible. I didn’t sleep well the rest of the night. I now have an aversion to watching Sports Center. Just writing about this bothers me. And I feel all of this over events that did not actually happen with someone who doesn’t exist. Despite the fact that nothing was real and I had no control over it I still felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

Now if that is how I feel over an imaginary event how the hell can someone cheat on their wife and feel like they can get away scot free? For me it is just inconceivable. You wouldn’t be able to pull me off the floor if I did something like that. I know that all relationships are different and that temptations make their way in but once you declare that you are partners for life I don’t know how you can cheat and look at yourself in the mirror in the morning. I don’t know how one can have that much denial about who they truly are. That is what bothers me about all of these stories about celebrity affairs. I don’t know how they do it and expect to suffer no consequences much less feel remorse.

Wednesday Night Music Club: I don’t miss Kansas City too badly. I miss being part of the Badgers, the most dominant trivia team in history. I miss the crowds at trivia, probably the smartest and coolest people you could ever meet in that town. I miss Boulevard Wheat beer. And I miss Davey’s Uptown. Here is one of my absolute favorite performers, Richard Buckner, onstage at Davey’s last year. In another universe I stay in KC and am standing next to the guy holding the camera. I’ll take this universe even if I miss the music.