Dream the impossible dream

It is strange to think how seldom we try to accomplish our dreams. We all can list what we want to be, or what we wanted to be when we were kids, but when we look at ourselves in the mirror we have to admit that we haven’t done a tenth of what was necessary to make them come true. I’m not even talking about my dream of being a power forward in the NBA, a dream that died when I found out I was only going to be 6’ 1” and uncoordinated to the point that I injure myself going up a flight of stairs. I’m talking about those ideas that float into our heads and make you think “Wow, wouldn’t that just make life perfect?”

Seven years ago I saw Kim sitting across from me in class and I thought that exact thought. Wouldn’t being with her make my life perfect?

That is how it all began. We had the same courses in business school and I sat in the front row, right side, first seat from the center aisle, in what could only be called the brown nose position. Kim sat in the second row, left side, six seats from the center aisle in the cool kids position. If I looked at the clock I could look at her as well. I spent a lot of time looking at the clock that year.

From pretty much the moment I met her I fell head over heels for her. Not only was she beautiful but she was also incredibly smart, funny, well read, caring and loved college football more than anything in life. She was someone I could discuss Shakespeare with as well the career progression of O. J. McDuffie. And we did have those conversations; this wasn’t entirely a case of courtly love and romantic pining from my end. Ok, there was a lot of that but I did legitimately try. But even I could see that the timing wasn’t right and decided to not ruin a friendship by forcing a relationship where none existed. In retrospect that was one of the smartest things I had ever done.

We graduated and moved away, staying in touch in the way people did before Facebook. Some emails, an occasional meeting when we found ourselves in the same town, but nothing out of the ordinary. Years passed. I lived in Kansas City and had my adventures in dating all of which ending comically badly. Through all my years there and all my late nights at the bars I would always come home and look at my fridge where amongst all the pictures I had some of Kim and myself at graduation and wonder, “what if?”

Last fall after moving to Delaware Kim got in touch with me with news I had never anticipated. She had been diagnosed with kidney cancer. And not the nice kind of kidney cancer either. The kind where your life expectancy is typically measured in months. But due to her stubbornness and some incredible doctors the cancer was caught in time, she had half her kidney removed and she was as fine as she could be and I thank God every day for that fact and want that to never change. And as she sat there recovering from her surgery she looked through her phone address book wondering who would care about what she had just gone through. And she chose me.

We spent the fall talking on the phone getting to know each other again. Within a month or two we agreed to go to New Orleans together. That trip turned into our first date (Valentine’s Day in the French Quarter is a wonderful way to start a relationship.) Within a month we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Not long after that we knew that this is what we were looking for our entire lives. We had found the person who would care unconditionally and love always. Every day and every moment has been a blessing.

Sometimes you just have to have the courage to tilt with windmills.

Seven years ago I met the woman of my dreams. Tonight I asked her to marry me. And she said yes.