So all our problems are fixed now, right?

Addendum to last night’s post: For those wondering, I checked the “why yes, let’s try talking for more than six minutes” box for a number of my encounters that night. Probably more than half now that I think about it (and two of which I really did want to see again). So I wasn’t being my usual, overly selective self. I was open to pretty much anything. I guess that makes the ending even more depressing. I’m not sure.

I’ll just do a bit of quick hits on the inauguration tonight.

1) There is nothing that speaks evil criminal genius like the sight of Dick Cheney in a wheelchair. Seriously, they should have given him a white cat to place on his lap and slowly pet while the ceremony progressed. Maybe have the camera focus on him occasionally while he issued a maniacal laugh.

2) I had an interesting argument last week with someone who was at the inauguration. They were surprised that I wasn’t going and would therefore be missing a historic moment. Which is true in that I wasn’t there; I was watching it on television. That said, none of the people who were there witnessed the historic moment either. They all were watching on big screens. They just happened to be in the same vague geographic region. That is why I am more than glad that I actually saw Obama and Biden on Saturday. That was more than enough for me.

3) I believe from now on in every crowd one person must be wearing Aretha Franklin’s hat. It should be made a law or something. For the good of society we need more large, comical hats. I’m also curious as to the song choice of “My Country Tis of Thee”. It’s a fine song and all but not one that I’ve heard recently. (Still, I wish people would recognize that Woody Guthrie did not intend “This Land is your Land” to be considered this wonderfully patriotic song. It is a protest song against the upper class not sharing with those less fortunate. For once I would like people to note that when they sing it.)

4) I really want to start the urban legend that since Obama did not correctly recite the oath of office that he is not officially president. There is precedence for this. The term “read the riot act” comes from the fact that under British law before they could arrest protestors the police must read a specific list of orders. This is (or at least was) true. It is also true that one set of rioters were set free because the cops did not end with “God save the Queen”. Honestly, history classes would be much more interesting if this is what children were taught.

5) The idea of the inaugural ball seems so anachronistic that it is almost laughable. Here we are celebrating the inauguration of a president whose entire campaign was based on supporting the common man and what do we do to celebrate? Quick, everyone into tuxedos and formal gowns so we can have a ballroom dance! It is one of those moments where you celebrate in a way that no one, including yourself, would ever celebrate in. It’s like taking waltz lessons so you can perform the first dance at your own wedding. It’s your wedding; you really shouldn’t need to take classes for it.

6) Can I state that it was kind of sad to see George Bush walk off the stage and leave? Not that I admire the guy or anything; I’ve been on the public record for years as saying that he was the worst president since Millard Fillmore. But it is always this strange, bittersweet moment when a president leaves office. He just stands there, watches someone new take his job, and he changes from being the most powerful man in the world to just another guy in a suit. Then it is off to the helicopter to get him out of town while the movers are packing up his stuff. This is before the crowd starts booing or throwing shoes at the White House. Like I said, I don’t like the guy but you should show a little bit of respect.

7) I’ll end with something that is mentioned every four years but should really be noted here. The amazing thing about our country is that throughout its history every four years we hold an election and a leader is sworn in. This is never challenged, no one has tried to seize control, there have been no military coups or dictatorships form. Bush just hands over the reigns of power to a political rival and the entire country goes on just as it always has. That is really incredible and when you study the history of the world it is really an American institution. There is no backroom intrigue (well, somewhat with elections but nowhere near as many murders as in other parts of the world) or hostile takeovers. Just a continual flow of control. It’s rather amazing.

Tomorrow I will address the fact that I have been very neglectful in my analysis of VH-1’s rather brilliant reality programming. Stay tuned.