Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Fantasy becomes reality...

I am nowhere near the end of the topics I want to cover…

Topic #8: The curse of my fantasy team continues with Terry Glenn cutting himself with scissors, causing Terrell Owens to get depressed and overdose on pain medication. Dude, the Cowboys are the most emo team in the league. But it once again proves that not only are my players getting injured but anyone associated with them is also cursed. Thank god I don’t have any Bears on my team.

I’m also worried about my number one receiver in Larry Fitzgerald. Not because of Larry, who is one of the best guys in the league. I just have to deal with the fact that I don’t know who will be throwing him the ball on a weekly basis. It will either be Kurt “I’m sorry but my hands are small” Warner or Matt “I’m sorry but my hands are covered with Astroglide” Leinert.

Topic #9: In other Arizona Cardinals news, they finally named the new stadium. Sadly, they did not accept the offer by the Pink Taco franchise for naming rights. (I’m not kidding, there was a distinct possibility that years from now we would be discussing legendary Pink Taco Stadium). Instead it will now be The University of Phoenix stadium. So we have gone from the Phoenix Cardinals (playing in Tempe) to the Arizona Cardinals (playing outside of Phoenix) at The University of Phoenix Stadium. The University of Phoenix is hoping that this raises their credibility in the world. Personally, I would recommend not promoting your school through ads on pro wrestling websites as your first step towards respectability.

Topic #10: Not to say anything bad about pro wrestling websites. Back in the day when I was active in the internet wrestling community it seemed like every other guy was working on a masters degree. Seriously, of the top commentators one was in law school, another was getting a doctorate in mathematics and one guy had an office down the hall from mine in Everitt Lab at Illinois. There is a great thesis paper out there somewhere of why really smart people are drawn to pro wrestling.

Topic #11: Ok, I have decided that I will attend my high school reunion in a few weeks. This has come after much thought and consternation on my part. Not so much as to fear over who will I run into, more of will anyone from my class actually show up. We were never much for school spirit back in the day so it is very possible that it will be me and three other people. Still I am faced with two very important questions: A) What will I wear and B) What will I say that I do for a living.

For the first question I’m aiming for my classic expensive shirt with a killer alternative t-shirt on underneath. And for this look I am going to call on my readers to help me out with what I should wear. My friends at Starzan Tees (http://www.starzantees.com/) have some killer designs and I want to put it to a vote as to what should I wear. Personally, I am drawn to the “I am the First Starfighter” but this is entirely up to the audience. Let me know (or if you feel I will be much better off with the stormtrooper costume.)

The second question I’ll cover in the coming weeks. Given that I’m not sure what I do for a living and knowing that no one I meet will have any clue what my life is like and that I live hundreds of miles away from any of my classmates I feel that this could be a night of social engineering.

Topic #12: Coming tomorrow, the return of Songbook. This time featuring a song that absolutely everyone will know. It’s going to be a good one.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

re: fantasy football

things could be worse. in one of my leagues I autodrafted AND had a sh*tty draft position. so I ended up with LaMont Jordan and Steve Smith in rounds 1 and 2. needless to say, the Raiders offense hasn't shown up yet this season, and Steve Smith missed the first few weeks and was a gametime decision last week. I missed out on having a true #1 RB and am pretty thin at the RB position thanks to this season's rampant running-back-by-committee trend.

Anonymous said...

so were you timely enough to pick up Maurice Morris as a free agent?