I had this thought when I first brought up the Pac Man discussion but didn’t have the time or the space to expand it further since the fact that Kansas has decided to not just encourage ignorance but actually legislate it took precedence over everything. (By the way, one last comment on that front. I was thinking about what I would do if one day one of my kids was in a class where they were teaching intelligent design. I decided that I would do one of two things A) take my kid out of class for that day and take them somewhere more enlightening or B) encourage them to get up and walk out of class in protest once the teacher started rattling on about nonsense. In either case, this would be maybe the only instance where I would want my child to answer questions wrong on a test. Like “Intelligent design is…” “really, really stupid.”)
Anyway, back to a completely less important topic. Thinking about Pac Man and the many hours spent at Haunted Trails made me realize that the children of today are really missing the wonders of the video arcade. I know, I know, there is a subculture around Dance Dance Revolution but the kids I am talking about would never play something like that. Mainly because I am talking about kids like me who were so uncoordinated we couldn’t play Dance Dance Revolution without blowing out a knee. Without the arcade, I think that life has lost one of its most simple pleasures.
Because arcades were the ultimate escape for a thirteen or fourteen year old. You were too young to get into any real trouble but old enough to know that trouble should be gotten into. So that is why you spent your time playing video games, checking out the scene, and basically getting into mischief one quarter at a time. Now kids just sit at home and play online and it can’t be the same. You don’t have that sense of “I could get in serious trouble any moment now” or “I wonder if it is possible to cheat at Skee Ball to get a better prize” by playing World of Warcraft.
Plus, there are some games that cannot be touched by a Playstation. Like tabletop hockey with the USA vs. USSR. Probably some of the most fun that you could have was a hockey war that started with a fight over who got to play as the Russians. There was even a “Boo” button on the one I played, which was used constantly as a taunt. And no matter how good the graphics are on your home system, you could always garner a much bigger thrill by having a crowd surrounding you while you played Dragon’s Lair. And don’t forget about Outrun, where you actually got to sit in a car while you raced. For a while, that was the ultimate in coolness.
So please, encourage the return of the arcade. Because life just isn’t complete until you’ve spent three dollars in quarters just trying to make it through the next level of Virtua Figher.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Kansas Devolves...
You know, it means something when the comments to my postings become more random than the postings themselves. It means I should probably be frightened. But, since I did watch the Pac Man cartoon series as a child, I must clear up some misconceptions on the Pac Man family.
We started with Pac Man, a cheerful yellow little fellow haunted by paranormal phenomena that could only be vanquished by eating a certain pill. Basically, the entire game was a metaphor for the benefits of lithium in today’s psychotic society. Then you had Ms. Pac Man, which shows that an amorphous cartoon character can be made female and attractive just by adding a bow. Now, it is correct that it was Ms. Pac Man. But, if you played the game sufficiently long enough you got a cut scene in which Pac Man makes an honest woman out of Ms. Pac Man and gets married. Soon later you have Baby Pac Man, which was this video game/pinball game abomination that resulted in Pac Man hanging out at bars, staying out all hours and finally hooking up with Lara Croft and becoming a deadbeat dad. Basically, it’s a Greek tragedy that goes “wokka wokka wokka”
(See, I knew all those hours at Haunted Trails miniature golf course and video arcade would come in handy someday.)
Anyway, we have some important news from the great state of Kansas today. By a 6 to 4 vote, the Kansas Board of Education decided to add language questioning the theory of evolution and to start teaching intelligent design. Excuse me for a moment while I bang my head against a wall.
(Bang. Bang. Bang.)
Hey, if I do that enough maybe I could make the school board. I mean, you can’t fault them too much since they are in Topeka which means that the members of the school board are, by definition, too dumb to get out of Topeka. But it is great to know that part of my taxes are going to be spent on teaching kids a theory in intelligent design that isn’t just wrong but ludicrously wrong at that.
I can’t respect a state that is basically going to teach children “Science is really hard and we don’t feel good about trying to explain all of it so we are just going to state that some mysterious outside force did it. Could be God. Could be that giant flying spaghetti monster. We’ll leave that up to you to decide.” It’s just really bad science by people who don’t appreciate the power of randomness. That’s part of their complaint, that life just couldn’t occur through random events. The thing is, randomness runs our lives and creates incredible patterns as it is. Study fractals and you’ll see beauty out of pure chance. Probability makes great things happen.
This stuff just angers me to no end. When I was growing up I was raised to want to be a scientist and to learn all about what makes the world work. Now it seems that we are spending all of our time questioning them and putting everything on faith, which really doesn’t create new inventions or cure diseases at the end of the day. Before someone uses that last sentence to question my beliefs, here is my philosophy in a nutshell. We were given incredible minds and deductive ability and free will to make the most out of life on this planet, not to sit around and say, “Don’t worry, someone will come and save us.” We’ve already been saved, the tools have been in our hands from the beginning.
So now I get to spend a lot of time in a state that is going to intentionally raise its children to be bad at science. And drive off pretty much any biotech company that would ever think about stepping foot in the state. And making us the laughingstock of the U.S. Thanks school board. It’s nice to know that incompetence rises to the level where it can do the most damage.
(Seriously, if I knew this was going to be the case I would never have left the trees in the first place.)
We started with Pac Man, a cheerful yellow little fellow haunted by paranormal phenomena that could only be vanquished by eating a certain pill. Basically, the entire game was a metaphor for the benefits of lithium in today’s psychotic society. Then you had Ms. Pac Man, which shows that an amorphous cartoon character can be made female and attractive just by adding a bow. Now, it is correct that it was Ms. Pac Man. But, if you played the game sufficiently long enough you got a cut scene in which Pac Man makes an honest woman out of Ms. Pac Man and gets married. Soon later you have Baby Pac Man, which was this video game/pinball game abomination that resulted in Pac Man hanging out at bars, staying out all hours and finally hooking up with Lara Croft and becoming a deadbeat dad. Basically, it’s a Greek tragedy that goes “wokka wokka wokka”
(See, I knew all those hours at Haunted Trails miniature golf course and video arcade would come in handy someday.)
Anyway, we have some important news from the great state of Kansas today. By a 6 to 4 vote, the Kansas Board of Education decided to add language questioning the theory of evolution and to start teaching intelligent design. Excuse me for a moment while I bang my head against a wall.
(Bang. Bang. Bang.)
Hey, if I do that enough maybe I could make the school board. I mean, you can’t fault them too much since they are in Topeka which means that the members of the school board are, by definition, too dumb to get out of Topeka. But it is great to know that part of my taxes are going to be spent on teaching kids a theory in intelligent design that isn’t just wrong but ludicrously wrong at that.
I can’t respect a state that is basically going to teach children “Science is really hard and we don’t feel good about trying to explain all of it so we are just going to state that some mysterious outside force did it. Could be God. Could be that giant flying spaghetti monster. We’ll leave that up to you to decide.” It’s just really bad science by people who don’t appreciate the power of randomness. That’s part of their complaint, that life just couldn’t occur through random events. The thing is, randomness runs our lives and creates incredible patterns as it is. Study fractals and you’ll see beauty out of pure chance. Probability makes great things happen.
This stuff just angers me to no end. When I was growing up I was raised to want to be a scientist and to learn all about what makes the world work. Now it seems that we are spending all of our time questioning them and putting everything on faith, which really doesn’t create new inventions or cure diseases at the end of the day. Before someone uses that last sentence to question my beliefs, here is my philosophy in a nutshell. We were given incredible minds and deductive ability and free will to make the most out of life on this planet, not to sit around and say, “Don’t worry, someone will come and save us.” We’ve already been saved, the tools have been in our hands from the beginning.
So now I get to spend a lot of time in a state that is going to intentionally raise its children to be bad at science. And drive off pretty much any biotech company that would ever think about stepping foot in the state. And making us the laughingstock of the U.S. Thanks school board. It’s nice to know that incompetence rises to the level where it can do the most damage.
(Seriously, if I knew this was going to be the case I would never have left the trees in the first place.)
Monday, November 07, 2005
A blah Monday
So, like many of you I awoke this morning to read one of the most interesting stories of the year involving two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders. Here are my quick thoughts on the subject. 1) This either says something about our society or my lifestyle but I read a story like that and it doesn’t even phase me anymore. Seriously, I don’t know if it is possible to shock me. 2) What magazine is leading for the first pictorial of the two girls? We’re talking Maxim at a minimum here. This could be the ultimate “famous for committing a crime and ruining your career” moment. 3) You know what the most amazing thing about that story is? The fact that the only reason that anyone knows about the story is because the two women are Carolina Panthers cheerleaders. Not members of the team, not involved with anyone from the team, just cheerleaders. That apparently gives you just enough quasi-celebrity that when you make the police blotter, you will be remembered. Of course, I’m not sure that this is how all of us would like to obtain our fifteen minutes of fame.
Sadly, I think that may have been the best topic I had to write about today. It’s Monday and I am still trying to catch up on all of the errands that I failed to run over the weekend. You know, like going grocery shopping because you have absolutely no food left in your apartment. That point when you look in your fridge and go “I’ve got beer and hot dog buns and that’s about it. I don’t even have hot dogs. Why can’t they make those in equal numbers anyway?” Yeah, that’s pretty much the level of excitement in my life right about now.
However, all of my time traveling did allow me to finish Jonathan Carroll’s latest novel “Glass Soup”. In which you discover that God is a large polar bear named Bob. I think that comes up in chapter five. You know, in all of my theological studies I’ve never had that theory explained to me but hey, you learn something new every day. This isn’t the book of his to start out with (especially since it is the follow up to White Apples) but as a fan I enjoyed it. It is a really out there book, the polar bear is just the beginning, and I was impressed at just how creative the story was. There was nothing formulaic about it. In fact, it confused you by being so non-linear at times. But sometimes it is nice to read something that isn’t straightforward.
More interesting material tomorrow. Consider this the prelude to the anniversary.
Sadly, I think that may have been the best topic I had to write about today. It’s Monday and I am still trying to catch up on all of the errands that I failed to run over the weekend. You know, like going grocery shopping because you have absolutely no food left in your apartment. That point when you look in your fridge and go “I’ve got beer and hot dog buns and that’s about it. I don’t even have hot dogs. Why can’t they make those in equal numbers anyway?” Yeah, that’s pretty much the level of excitement in my life right about now.
However, all of my time traveling did allow me to finish Jonathan Carroll’s latest novel “Glass Soup”. In which you discover that God is a large polar bear named Bob. I think that comes up in chapter five. You know, in all of my theological studies I’ve never had that theory explained to me but hey, you learn something new every day. This isn’t the book of his to start out with (especially since it is the follow up to White Apples) but as a fan I enjoyed it. It is a really out there book, the polar bear is just the beginning, and I was impressed at just how creative the story was. There was nothing formulaic about it. In fact, it confused you by being so non-linear at times. But sometimes it is nice to read something that isn’t straightforward.
More interesting material tomorrow. Consider this the prelude to the anniversary.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Cynicism defined...
(“How in the world did you end up in a corn field?”
“You wouldn’t even begin to believe how many times I ask myself that same question.”
Thanks to whoever posted the cool comment Friday night. For the record, I ended up in a corn field as a result of my job. That’s the how part of the question. When I figure out they “why” portion of the answer, I’ll let you know.)
I had an interesting revelation come to me as I was leaving the airport this afternoon. I had just made my back to the western Midwest (or eastern Great Plains, take your pick) after spending the weekend at the Notre Dame-Tennessee game (best t-shirt: “Catholics vs. Clampetts”). Incredibly, what hit me has nothing to do with football or any of the stories that come about from tailgating outside the stadium but they have everything to do with the way people are. And it all stems from this bus ride back to the airport parking lot.
While sitting there waiting for the chance to get back to my car and forcing myself to listen to the rest of that damn Joan Osbourne CD this woman got on the bus and she had that look on her face of someone who was angry. Not angry at a specific event or a person, just angry at the world. You know this type of person? Those people who are so bitter that it permeates their entire existence. You can smell it on them, there is nothing in the world that makes them happy and the only thing that brightens their day is when someone else has something bad happens to them and they feel good because life is better as long as someone else’s life is worse.
Here’s what struck me. A lot of people would consider me to be a cynic. Ok, let’s be honest. I’ve posted about two novels worth of material in the past year that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am at times a cynical bastard. But I don’t think that anyone would ever consider me bitter. I’m definitely not angry at the world or anything. I’m just trained to look at everything with a critical eye and when I look at this planet I’m the type who comes up with the ten point action plan to correct things. I don’t think that I’ve ever looked at anything with hatred, it’s more of a sense of amazement at how stupid people can be and how we can be given a wonderful gift of a nice planet with beauty all around it and free will to appreciate it and basically throw it all away because we are too damn lazy most of the time. I’m not upset at the world, just bewildered.
So while I could definitely be more upbeat (as opposed to trudging along in life like I sometimes do) I do enjoy my view of the world. At the heart of it, I look around and see what this place could be if we all just focused our energy for a little while on the important things. And I get bummed that no one else seems to notice this. That what leads me to be cynical. I’ll never get angry at the world because it always surprises me. How can you go through life angry when you can randomly flip on the radio and catch a Celtic song that you heard at a festival months ago? If happenstance can make you smile, imagine what life could be like if you actually worked at it?
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Blue Mountain “Homegrown”
2) Various Artists “New Orleans Party Classics”
3) Sally Timms “Cowboy Sally”
4) Jump, Little Children “Between the Dim and the Dark”
5) Beth Orton “Best Bit” (Yes! I finally get to listen to Beth Orton while driving to work. This week is going to be awesome.)
“You wouldn’t even begin to believe how many times I ask myself that same question.”
Thanks to whoever posted the cool comment Friday night. For the record, I ended up in a corn field as a result of my job. That’s the how part of the question. When I figure out they “why” portion of the answer, I’ll let you know.)
I had an interesting revelation come to me as I was leaving the airport this afternoon. I had just made my back to the western Midwest (or eastern Great Plains, take your pick) after spending the weekend at the Notre Dame-Tennessee game (best t-shirt: “Catholics vs. Clampetts”). Incredibly, what hit me has nothing to do with football or any of the stories that come about from tailgating outside the stadium but they have everything to do with the way people are. And it all stems from this bus ride back to the airport parking lot.
While sitting there waiting for the chance to get back to my car and forcing myself to listen to the rest of that damn Joan Osbourne CD this woman got on the bus and she had that look on her face of someone who was angry. Not angry at a specific event or a person, just angry at the world. You know this type of person? Those people who are so bitter that it permeates their entire existence. You can smell it on them, there is nothing in the world that makes them happy and the only thing that brightens their day is when someone else has something bad happens to them and they feel good because life is better as long as someone else’s life is worse.
Here’s what struck me. A lot of people would consider me to be a cynic. Ok, let’s be honest. I’ve posted about two novels worth of material in the past year that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am at times a cynical bastard. But I don’t think that anyone would ever consider me bitter. I’m definitely not angry at the world or anything. I’m just trained to look at everything with a critical eye and when I look at this planet I’m the type who comes up with the ten point action plan to correct things. I don’t think that I’ve ever looked at anything with hatred, it’s more of a sense of amazement at how stupid people can be and how we can be given a wonderful gift of a nice planet with beauty all around it and free will to appreciate it and basically throw it all away because we are too damn lazy most of the time. I’m not upset at the world, just bewildered.
So while I could definitely be more upbeat (as opposed to trudging along in life like I sometimes do) I do enjoy my view of the world. At the heart of it, I look around and see what this place could be if we all just focused our energy for a little while on the important things. And I get bummed that no one else seems to notice this. That what leads me to be cynical. I’ll never get angry at the world because it always surprises me. How can you go through life angry when you can randomly flip on the radio and catch a Celtic song that you heard at a festival months ago? If happenstance can make you smile, imagine what life could be like if you actually worked at it?
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Blue Mountain “Homegrown”
2) Various Artists “New Orleans Party Classics”
3) Sally Timms “Cowboy Sally”
4) Jump, Little Children “Between the Dim and the Dark”
5) Beth Orton “Best Bit” (Yes! I finally get to listen to Beth Orton while driving to work. This week is going to be awesome.)
Thursday, November 03, 2005
One last concert note
(A lot of people have criticized my, well, criticism of this part of the country as being a result of a slightly negative personality. Which may very well be true. But then I spend part of today wandering through a corn maze and I begin to wonder just how I ended up out here in the first place. I like to imagine that I have that jet set, big city lifestyle. It’s not true of course, but it’s fun to pretend. The thing is, you can’t even pretend to be living the high life in a corn field. Just a thought.)
Got one more concert review from this week. Caught Cracker in concert on Halloween night in an acoustic set. Or at least they called it an acoustic set, one guy played an electric guitar and they also had a laptop on stage with them. That would place it solidly in the MTV Unplugged category in which all the instruments are plugged in and the vocals are sweetened. Anyway, Cracker is a band you know and love or at least know if you went to college in the 90’s. You know the band with the song “What the world needs now is another folk singer like I need a hole in my head.” Those guys.
Cracker should be better known than that. They have some really solid songs, especially when you dip back into the Camper Van Beethoven catalog. This was a pretty interesting show. Got there and it was like there was no one at the show. It was a Monday night, but once again I found myself alone by the stage. That’s not entirely true. There was also the girl with the bunny ears. I have to say, that was a surprisingly good look. (On the other hand, is it a surprise that I saw someone dressed as Dorothy? Does that even count as trying in the state of Kansas?) But, in the end they did garner a pretty nice crowd.
I should define “they” since it was just David Lowery and another guy. I was impressed by how they reinterpreted some of the catalog. Teen Angst was turned into a slow blues number and I completely understand why they changed the style of the song. They’ve probably played that song every night for over a decade and at that point you need to change things up. Low stayed that driving crowd interaction song with one of the best choruses ever. And in something that I didn’t think possible, they pulled off a two man version of Camper Van Beethoven’s classic “Matchstick Man”, a song that would typically need an eight piece band to work.
In all, this was just one of those fun shows I hit during the week. It didn’t change my life but it sure beat watching television. On some nights, that is all that you can ask for.
(Big announcement. Next week we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of Battling the Current with some major events. Look for the return of some of your favorite topics and definitely check the site this time next week. Trust me, you’ll want to be a part of this. Enjoy the weekend.)
Got one more concert review from this week. Caught Cracker in concert on Halloween night in an acoustic set. Or at least they called it an acoustic set, one guy played an electric guitar and they also had a laptop on stage with them. That would place it solidly in the MTV Unplugged category in which all the instruments are plugged in and the vocals are sweetened. Anyway, Cracker is a band you know and love or at least know if you went to college in the 90’s. You know the band with the song “What the world needs now is another folk singer like I need a hole in my head.” Those guys.
Cracker should be better known than that. They have some really solid songs, especially when you dip back into the Camper Van Beethoven catalog. This was a pretty interesting show. Got there and it was like there was no one at the show. It was a Monday night, but once again I found myself alone by the stage. That’s not entirely true. There was also the girl with the bunny ears. I have to say, that was a surprisingly good look. (On the other hand, is it a surprise that I saw someone dressed as Dorothy? Does that even count as trying in the state of Kansas?) But, in the end they did garner a pretty nice crowd.
I should define “they” since it was just David Lowery and another guy. I was impressed by how they reinterpreted some of the catalog. Teen Angst was turned into a slow blues number and I completely understand why they changed the style of the song. They’ve probably played that song every night for over a decade and at that point you need to change things up. Low stayed that driving crowd interaction song with one of the best choruses ever. And in something that I didn’t think possible, they pulled off a two man version of Camper Van Beethoven’s classic “Matchstick Man”, a song that would typically need an eight piece band to work.
In all, this was just one of those fun shows I hit during the week. It didn’t change my life but it sure beat watching television. On some nights, that is all that you can ask for.
(Big announcement. Next week we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of Battling the Current with some major events. Look for the return of some of your favorite topics and definitely check the site this time next week. Trust me, you’ll want to be a part of this. Enjoy the weekend.)
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Moving time
As a couple of people out there know, I switched jobs a few weeks ago. Same company, just moved on to a different position. It’s something that I am supposed to do every year anyway so it really isn’t that big of a deal, even if I am now doing as different a job as humanly possible from what I was doing before. And while I will continue to uphold my standard of never writing about work there are a few aspects surrounding changing positions in a massive company that need to be addressed.
I’ve switched buildings on campus in the move. Pretty basic, right? Well, except for the fact that this requires me to switch parking garages and as a result my commute is about five minutes longer now. I’m not kidding. I’m on the same campus, just on the other side and it takes me forever to leave company property at night. Maybe that is a sign that your office complex is just too damn large.
The even bigger concern is that my desk is different. On the surface it is just another cubicle. Same old box, still no view of a window, still have to walk about half a block to look outside and see if it is raining. But previously I had what could best be called a right handed cubicle. Trash can on the right, file cabinets on the right. My cube has been set up that way for two years, you get into nice morning habits that way. Well I’ve now found myself in a left handed cubicle and it is the most disconcerting thing imaginable. I seriously have no clue where anything is in the morning. Every day it is like, “Who the hell stole my trash can?” and “Who moved my shelves?” I would never have thought that something as simple as that could have such an impact. It’s going to take a month before I feel comfortable in this cube and by then I’ll probably move again.
On the plus side, a new parking garage means I’ve gotten to see new personalized license plates on my drive to work. This week’s highlight was “FLATTAX”, on a car with a Rush Limbaugh bumper sticker on it (what a surprise). You know, while sitting behind that car a red light I really began to wonder how much nicer this world would be if I was able to get that flamethrower attachment for the hood of my car. Seriously, political leaning aside, would you want that to be your license plate? Is that supposed to impress someone? Or influence someone’s opinion? Like someone was just driving to work that morning and went, “Wow, if it is on a license plate it just has to be correct. You’ve completely changed my mind on the U.S. tax code.” I’ll never know what scares me more, the fact that these people are allowed to drive or the fact that they are allowed to vote.
I’ve switched buildings on campus in the move. Pretty basic, right? Well, except for the fact that this requires me to switch parking garages and as a result my commute is about five minutes longer now. I’m not kidding. I’m on the same campus, just on the other side and it takes me forever to leave company property at night. Maybe that is a sign that your office complex is just too damn large.
The even bigger concern is that my desk is different. On the surface it is just another cubicle. Same old box, still no view of a window, still have to walk about half a block to look outside and see if it is raining. But previously I had what could best be called a right handed cubicle. Trash can on the right, file cabinets on the right. My cube has been set up that way for two years, you get into nice morning habits that way. Well I’ve now found myself in a left handed cubicle and it is the most disconcerting thing imaginable. I seriously have no clue where anything is in the morning. Every day it is like, “Who the hell stole my trash can?” and “Who moved my shelves?” I would never have thought that something as simple as that could have such an impact. It’s going to take a month before I feel comfortable in this cube and by then I’ll probably move again.
On the plus side, a new parking garage means I’ve gotten to see new personalized license plates on my drive to work. This week’s highlight was “FLATTAX”, on a car with a Rush Limbaugh bumper sticker on it (what a surprise). You know, while sitting behind that car a red light I really began to wonder how much nicer this world would be if I was able to get that flamethrower attachment for the hood of my car. Seriously, political leaning aside, would you want that to be your license plate? Is that supposed to impress someone? Or influence someone’s opinion? Like someone was just driving to work that morning and went, “Wow, if it is on a license plate it just has to be correct. You’ve completely changed my mind on the U.S. tax code.” I’ll never know what scares me more, the fact that these people are allowed to drive or the fact that they are allowed to vote.
Musings of a Creek Dipper
Every once in a while it is nice to know that there is some popular music out there that isn’t Toby Keith or Shakira. Where you can be part of a crowd listening to talented musicians. And have the band just thrilled to be playing music for a living. Well, tonight I had one of those experiences, catching Nickel Creek in concert.
I made my way this evening to the new and continually improved Uptown Theater. In a much appreciated move, they replaced the incredibly harsh tile floor with carpeting and yes, I’ve reached the point in my life where things like that are very nice amenities. Got there a few minutes to spare and in what seems to be a tradition now, I run into no one from work but am greeted by bartenders I know. But as a general rule, I just say hi to them and let them have their night off. I mean, they have to deal with me while I’m working; there is no way in the world that they should have to deal with me in their free time.
Anyway, when I saw Nickel Creek last year Howie Day opened. This was when Howie was doing a solo bit, which consisted of him looping everything and grinning being moderately less high than he had been in previous performances. This time the opening act was the Ditty Bops. Who were…who were…
Ok, let me put this in perspective. Tonight was my 40th concert of the year, tying the number I saw last year. I’ve seen a lot of bands over the past two years. I’ve seen a Norwegian punk band, I’ve seen one guy loop twelve instruments together to a group of cheering Deadheads who were ten when the Dead played their last show and I’ve seen a band from New Zealand play an entire song while wearing Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen masks. But, the Ditty Bops may have been the most unique act yet.
They sounded like a band from the 1920’s. It was like listening to one of those old female harmony records, like the Andrews Sisters or something like that. Well, the Andrews Sisters if one of them had fluorescent pink hair. And incredibly cute to boot. Plus, the band had somehow combined itself with a circus act at some point. One member of the band was on stilts at one point during the set. It was one of those things where you didn’t know where the music stopped and the performance art began. And I mean that in the best possible way. Seriously, these guys go up there with Superargo as “Best examples that you can still do something new in music.”
By the time Nickel Creek took the stage I really wondered what would happen next. I’ve always had a bit of mixed feelings about the band. I’ve never doubted their skill as musicians; they are easily some of the most talented people out there. It’s just that I tend to shy away from technically perfect music and go more for the pure emotional stuff. That’s why I preach the wonders of the Old Crow Medicine Show; a bunch of guys who play bluegrass the way the Clash would play bluegrass. I’ve never seen Nickel Creek show that side, that emotional rush of not caring what happens next. Until tonight.
The band was simply on. Chris Thile was bounding around the stage while playing mandolin (losing points for wearing a Cubs shirt while gaining some back for mentioning the Jayhawks and making it clear that he was referring to the band and not the school.) Sara Watkins has always been great on fiddle but now seems to have gained more confidence in singing and stage presence. And Sean Watkins still plays a great acoustic guitar without much complaint, given that he has to provide the melody while everyone else gets the solos. He’s probably in the only band where the guitarist gets mentioned last.
What was incredible about the show was just how much fun it was. There was a constant interaction with the audience and it wasn’t forced or rehearsed, just a natural banter with a few thousand people. The most impressive part was how they never take themselves too seriously. They covered Britney Spears’ “Toxic” along with Counting Crows songs. Hell, they played Roger Miller’s “Kansas City Star.” Literally played the song, halfway through the set they said that they were thinking of covering it but figured there was no way they could improve on it so they just played the song over the speakers while the band walked into the crowd and joked and danced with people. You don’t see that every day.
If anything, it is something like that which makes me have a lot of respect and admiration for Nickel Creek. They’ve been called the future of bluegrass music for the past few years, which is an unbelievable amount of pressure to put on a group of kids. A lot of people would like them to play really traditional music but that isn’t who they are, they’ve grown up listening to the same songs on the radio that I have. But they haven’t decided to reinvent themselves and try to do some ambient fusion bluegrass either. They’ve stayed true to their roots but their songs truly are theirs. And in the process they’ve grabbed a fanbase in which I was probably the oldest person standing in front of the stage but I would have been the youngest person sitting in the balcony.
I’ll have to say that tonight was some of the most fun that I’ve had listening to music in a long time. Lots of laughter and all of it in time to some incredible tunes. Not bad for a Tuesday night in Kansas City, don’t ya think?
I made my way this evening to the new and continually improved Uptown Theater. In a much appreciated move, they replaced the incredibly harsh tile floor with carpeting and yes, I’ve reached the point in my life where things like that are very nice amenities. Got there a few minutes to spare and in what seems to be a tradition now, I run into no one from work but am greeted by bartenders I know. But as a general rule, I just say hi to them and let them have their night off. I mean, they have to deal with me while I’m working; there is no way in the world that they should have to deal with me in their free time.
Anyway, when I saw Nickel Creek last year Howie Day opened. This was when Howie was doing a solo bit, which consisted of him looping everything and grinning being moderately less high than he had been in previous performances. This time the opening act was the Ditty Bops. Who were…who were…
Ok, let me put this in perspective. Tonight was my 40th concert of the year, tying the number I saw last year. I’ve seen a lot of bands over the past two years. I’ve seen a Norwegian punk band, I’ve seen one guy loop twelve instruments together to a group of cheering Deadheads who were ten when the Dead played their last show and I’ve seen a band from New Zealand play an entire song while wearing Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen masks. But, the Ditty Bops may have been the most unique act yet.
They sounded like a band from the 1920’s. It was like listening to one of those old female harmony records, like the Andrews Sisters or something like that. Well, the Andrews Sisters if one of them had fluorescent pink hair. And incredibly cute to boot. Plus, the band had somehow combined itself with a circus act at some point. One member of the band was on stilts at one point during the set. It was one of those things where you didn’t know where the music stopped and the performance art began. And I mean that in the best possible way. Seriously, these guys go up there with Superargo as “Best examples that you can still do something new in music.”
By the time Nickel Creek took the stage I really wondered what would happen next. I’ve always had a bit of mixed feelings about the band. I’ve never doubted their skill as musicians; they are easily some of the most talented people out there. It’s just that I tend to shy away from technically perfect music and go more for the pure emotional stuff. That’s why I preach the wonders of the Old Crow Medicine Show; a bunch of guys who play bluegrass the way the Clash would play bluegrass. I’ve never seen Nickel Creek show that side, that emotional rush of not caring what happens next. Until tonight.
The band was simply on. Chris Thile was bounding around the stage while playing mandolin (losing points for wearing a Cubs shirt while gaining some back for mentioning the Jayhawks and making it clear that he was referring to the band and not the school.) Sara Watkins has always been great on fiddle but now seems to have gained more confidence in singing and stage presence. And Sean Watkins still plays a great acoustic guitar without much complaint, given that he has to provide the melody while everyone else gets the solos. He’s probably in the only band where the guitarist gets mentioned last.
What was incredible about the show was just how much fun it was. There was a constant interaction with the audience and it wasn’t forced or rehearsed, just a natural banter with a few thousand people. The most impressive part was how they never take themselves too seriously. They covered Britney Spears’ “Toxic” along with Counting Crows songs. Hell, they played Roger Miller’s “Kansas City Star.” Literally played the song, halfway through the set they said that they were thinking of covering it but figured there was no way they could improve on it so they just played the song over the speakers while the band walked into the crowd and joked and danced with people. You don’t see that every day.
If anything, it is something like that which makes me have a lot of respect and admiration for Nickel Creek. They’ve been called the future of bluegrass music for the past few years, which is an unbelievable amount of pressure to put on a group of kids. A lot of people would like them to play really traditional music but that isn’t who they are, they’ve grown up listening to the same songs on the radio that I have. But they haven’t decided to reinvent themselves and try to do some ambient fusion bluegrass either. They’ve stayed true to their roots but their songs truly are theirs. And in the process they’ve grabbed a fanbase in which I was probably the oldest person standing in front of the stage but I would have been the youngest person sitting in the balcony.
I’ll have to say that tonight was some of the most fun that I’ve had listening to music in a long time. Lots of laughter and all of it in time to some incredible tunes. Not bad for a Tuesday night in Kansas City, don’t ya think?
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Forgotten Television Shows: Volume 8
(Continuing the series…)
Every once in a while, MTV tries to do something different in the realm of reality television. Like put a bunch of kids in a Winnebago and see if anything interesting happens. Or show how insane sweet sixteen parties have gotten. But a few years back, MTV tried to base a reality show on a reality movie. And the result of that effort, my friends, was Fear.
(Also known as, The Blair Witch Project but with worse acting)
Does anyone else remember this show? The premise was actually pretty cool. Take five 18-22 year olds and drop them off in a haunted location. Or at least some place that they said was haunted. Basically, you just needed a building with a lot of dark corners and plaster falling off of the walls. You had your paranormal experts explain in deadly serious voiceovers what happened in each location just to create that sense of “No human being should ever walk this piece of Earth again.” Of course the show consisted of sending the teenagers into these areas.
And they weren’t just sent into the haunted prison or ship or insane asylum. No, they had to carry this humongous camera on their back to give that grainy, headache inducing, Blair Witch style point of view shot. Including the camera shot looking straight back into their face for when they screamed. Which happened a lot. They even had to perform experiments, though I am still at a bit of a loss as to how they had apparatus that was tuned to detect hauntings. I mean, what is the base case that they are using here? Is there a place on the planet that is definitely not haunted? Over millions and millions of years, you’d think there would be the ghosts of dinosaurs everywhere at the very least.
At the end of the day, I still consider this one of the more interesting shows that MTV ever put together. There was no attempt to set the show up so that castmates would be trying to hook up every second of the way. It was a gameshow at heart (I think for going through everything you got five grand). But there was always this general level of creapiness that existed while watching the episodes. Like you never knew what was going to happen out there. That’s a pretty big accomplishment, creating a reality show that makes you suspend your belief in reality.
Every once in a while, MTV tries to do something different in the realm of reality television. Like put a bunch of kids in a Winnebago and see if anything interesting happens. Or show how insane sweet sixteen parties have gotten. But a few years back, MTV tried to base a reality show on a reality movie. And the result of that effort, my friends, was Fear.
(Also known as, The Blair Witch Project but with worse acting)
Does anyone else remember this show? The premise was actually pretty cool. Take five 18-22 year olds and drop them off in a haunted location. Or at least some place that they said was haunted. Basically, you just needed a building with a lot of dark corners and plaster falling off of the walls. You had your paranormal experts explain in deadly serious voiceovers what happened in each location just to create that sense of “No human being should ever walk this piece of Earth again.” Of course the show consisted of sending the teenagers into these areas.
And they weren’t just sent into the haunted prison or ship or insane asylum. No, they had to carry this humongous camera on their back to give that grainy, headache inducing, Blair Witch style point of view shot. Including the camera shot looking straight back into their face for when they screamed. Which happened a lot. They even had to perform experiments, though I am still at a bit of a loss as to how they had apparatus that was tuned to detect hauntings. I mean, what is the base case that they are using here? Is there a place on the planet that is definitely not haunted? Over millions and millions of years, you’d think there would be the ghosts of dinosaurs everywhere at the very least.
At the end of the day, I still consider this one of the more interesting shows that MTV ever put together. There was no attempt to set the show up so that castmates would be trying to hook up every second of the way. It was a gameshow at heart (I think for going through everything you got five grand). But there was always this general level of creapiness that existed while watching the episodes. Like you never knew what was going to happen out there. That’s a pretty big accomplishment, creating a reality show that makes you suspend your belief in reality.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Back in KC
Completely random story to start. So, I was in my apartment this evening getting ready to go out for a little bit. Yes, I know it is a Sunday night but everything was reruns and besides, have to enjoy life as much as possible, right. Anyway, throw my cel phone in my pocket along with my keys as I move around the apartment tidying things up a bit before I head out. At one point I start hearing a woman’s voice, like it was someone talking on the sidewalk below my apartment. Actually, it sounded a lot closer than that. It sounded like it was coming from my pocket.
Now admittedly, a woman’s voice emitting from my jeans would normally be considered a good thing. In this case, I was pretty sure it was a mistake. Grab my phone and find out that somehow I had speed dialed a friend’s number without ever touching the phone. So Kim, if you’re reading this, uh, sorry? Hopefully that was your voice mail. But it is nice to know that my phone has evolved to the point that it will make calls for me.
Anyway, I just made it back from Chicago this afternoon. What, does that surprise you? The Sox won the World Series, of course I would be in Chicago for the celebration. Ok, technically I was in town for my niece’s birthday and that just happened to coincide with everything but the story works much better the other way around. For those who didn’t see the coverage, they’ve estimated that 1.7 million people came out for the victory parade through the South Side and the Loop. Including Steve Perry, who led the team in a horribly off key version of Don’t Stop Believing. I’m sad that that song became the theme song but this is Chicago, the home of the Super Bowl Shuffle, it is a rule that championship teams have a theme song. Usually one that makes you cringe afterwards.
I did at least catch up on the I Love the 80’s marathon over the weekend. I’m still missing 1985 and 1986 but this is VH-1 that we are talking about so I’ll see it eventually. I will state that I am so far ahead of the coolness curve that it is not even funny. Three of my Forgotten Television Shows were mentioned, including Not Necessarily the News. Plus, they had a full analysis of Thundercats. I swear, I should sue these guys for plagiarism. Or at least find out how to be one of the talking heads. Come on, if “Lionheart” Chris Jericho makes the cut, why can’t I?
My biggest complaint is that they are really goofing up on the years. You Can’t Do That On Television came up in 1981 and it really should have been a few years later. The biggest offender was in talking about the high top fade, that classic hairstyle of the late 80’s. They put it in 1989, which was fine. But they showed a ton of pictures of Vanilla Ice. The thing is, Vanilla Ice has nothing to do with the 80’s. He is definitely an early 90’s creation. I mean, if you are going to tie years to everything you really need to be accurate. Maybe I can pull off that job, ombudsman for the I Love the (Insert Decade Here). And when do we do the first half of the aughts? I know that I’m nostalgic for 2000.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Freakwater “Feels Like the Third Time”
2) Pieta Brown “I Never Told”
3) Iris Dement “Lifeline”
4) Emmylou Harris “Red Dirt Girl”
5) Joan Osborne “Relish”
(Oh God, I just admitted to owning a Joan Osborne CD. Look, it was a gift from my Canadian girlfriend. Honest. Oh come on, you don’t think I actually went into a store and said, “Can I have the Joan Osborne CD? Please?”)
Now admittedly, a woman’s voice emitting from my jeans would normally be considered a good thing. In this case, I was pretty sure it was a mistake. Grab my phone and find out that somehow I had speed dialed a friend’s number without ever touching the phone. So Kim, if you’re reading this, uh, sorry? Hopefully that was your voice mail. But it is nice to know that my phone has evolved to the point that it will make calls for me.
Anyway, I just made it back from Chicago this afternoon. What, does that surprise you? The Sox won the World Series, of course I would be in Chicago for the celebration. Ok, technically I was in town for my niece’s birthday and that just happened to coincide with everything but the story works much better the other way around. For those who didn’t see the coverage, they’ve estimated that 1.7 million people came out for the victory parade through the South Side and the Loop. Including Steve Perry, who led the team in a horribly off key version of Don’t Stop Believing. I’m sad that that song became the theme song but this is Chicago, the home of the Super Bowl Shuffle, it is a rule that championship teams have a theme song. Usually one that makes you cringe afterwards.
I did at least catch up on the I Love the 80’s marathon over the weekend. I’m still missing 1985 and 1986 but this is VH-1 that we are talking about so I’ll see it eventually. I will state that I am so far ahead of the coolness curve that it is not even funny. Three of my Forgotten Television Shows were mentioned, including Not Necessarily the News. Plus, they had a full analysis of Thundercats. I swear, I should sue these guys for plagiarism. Or at least find out how to be one of the talking heads. Come on, if “Lionheart” Chris Jericho makes the cut, why can’t I?
My biggest complaint is that they are really goofing up on the years. You Can’t Do That On Television came up in 1981 and it really should have been a few years later. The biggest offender was in talking about the high top fade, that classic hairstyle of the late 80’s. They put it in 1989, which was fine. But they showed a ton of pictures of Vanilla Ice. The thing is, Vanilla Ice has nothing to do with the 80’s. He is definitely an early 90’s creation. I mean, if you are going to tie years to everything you really need to be accurate. Maybe I can pull off that job, ombudsman for the I Love the (Insert Decade Here). And when do we do the first half of the aughts? I know that I’m nostalgic for 2000.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Freakwater “Feels Like the Third Time”
2) Pieta Brown “I Never Told”
3) Iris Dement “Lifeline”
4) Emmylou Harris “Red Dirt Girl”
5) Joan Osborne “Relish”
(Oh God, I just admitted to owning a Joan Osborne CD. Look, it was a gift from my Canadian girlfriend. Honest. Oh come on, you don’t think I actually went into a store and said, “Can I have the Joan Osborne CD? Please?”)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Tying it all together
So I think that it is time to try to put everything in perspective. I know to a lot of people the World Series was pretty meaningless. I saw the ratings, I read the sports columnists complain that this was a poorly played series that no one really cared about, that it would have been much better if the Red Sox or the Yankees were in it. And I know that for some people out there that means that the blog hasn't been as interesting a read the past few weeks. Because of that I'll try to explain what this all means to me.
You make your connection to your favorite team when you are young and a lot of times that is simply a matter of geography. And I really understand that argument that if you are a lifelong fan you are not cheering a team or a player but really you are cheering geography. Seriously, I don't think any of the guys on the White Sox are actually from Chicago. The second baseman is from Japan to begin with and the manager is from Venezuela. But I don't cheer (and this holds for wherever you are from) the White Sox or the Bears just because I am from Chicago. I cheer the team because my parents supported the team. I cheer because my grandfather would tell me stories about how he knew the Andy Fran ushers at Old Comiskey and would sneak into games for free and how he knew the organist at the old Chicago Stadium and would watch Black Hawks games from the rafters. When you grow up in a situation such as that being a sports fan is a family legacy. We may have come to this country as immigrants but this is our team.
That might explain why I am such a loyal supporter. It doesn't explain why I seem to have lost my mind the last few weeks watching my team win. For that you really have to understand what it was like to be a kid in the late 70's/early 80's watching Chicago sports. I firmly believe that your love of sports is driven into you when you are seven or eight years old. And when I was that age, learning how to read by the sports section, Chicago teams were awful. We're talking about the Bob Avelini/Vince Evans Bears era. With Neil Armstrong as the head coach, which confused the hell out of me on science tests for a decade. Bulls teams where the highlight was Artis Gilmore's hair. And baseball was, well, we never won. Ever. It was just known. Hadn't been to a World Series since 1959. Hadn't won one since 1917. And this was with two teams. It was statistically impossible for that to happen but there you were.
So I grew up loving my Chicago teams but knowing, deep in my heart, that we would never win. Sure, we might come close and we definitely have some great players but it would never work out. And the times that it actually came through (like the Bears in '85), it was as close to a living dream as you could possibly imagine. I don't know if anyone could really appreciate it because you were so frightened that you might wake up before the ending.
This brings me to where I am now. I'm older, with grey hair starting to show up around the edges. I've moved out of Chicago on to greener pastures, or at least to a more cow intensive environment. I'm far removed from that eight year old kid who learned how to keep score in the right field seats of a Sox-Yankees game. With all my education, with everything that has gone on in my life, it really should be just a game.
But to see that team you cheered when you were a kid finally be the ones holding the trophy at the end. To look at the crowd and know that everyone there is thinking about the generations of fans who wanted nothing more just to see this moment. You can't say it any simpler than it is a dream come true.
And if the Sox can win the World Series, anything is possible.
You make your connection to your favorite team when you are young and a lot of times that is simply a matter of geography. And I really understand that argument that if you are a lifelong fan you are not cheering a team or a player but really you are cheering geography. Seriously, I don't think any of the guys on the White Sox are actually from Chicago. The second baseman is from Japan to begin with and the manager is from Venezuela. But I don't cheer (and this holds for wherever you are from) the White Sox or the Bears just because I am from Chicago. I cheer the team because my parents supported the team. I cheer because my grandfather would tell me stories about how he knew the Andy Fran ushers at Old Comiskey and would sneak into games for free and how he knew the organist at the old Chicago Stadium and would watch Black Hawks games from the rafters. When you grow up in a situation such as that being a sports fan is a family legacy. We may have come to this country as immigrants but this is our team.
That might explain why I am such a loyal supporter. It doesn't explain why I seem to have lost my mind the last few weeks watching my team win. For that you really have to understand what it was like to be a kid in the late 70's/early 80's watching Chicago sports. I firmly believe that your love of sports is driven into you when you are seven or eight years old. And when I was that age, learning how to read by the sports section, Chicago teams were awful. We're talking about the Bob Avelini/Vince Evans Bears era. With Neil Armstrong as the head coach, which confused the hell out of me on science tests for a decade. Bulls teams where the highlight was Artis Gilmore's hair. And baseball was, well, we never won. Ever. It was just known. Hadn't been to a World Series since 1959. Hadn't won one since 1917. And this was with two teams. It was statistically impossible for that to happen but there you were.
So I grew up loving my Chicago teams but knowing, deep in my heart, that we would never win. Sure, we might come close and we definitely have some great players but it would never work out. And the times that it actually came through (like the Bears in '85), it was as close to a living dream as you could possibly imagine. I don't know if anyone could really appreciate it because you were so frightened that you might wake up before the ending.
This brings me to where I am now. I'm older, with grey hair starting to show up around the edges. I've moved out of Chicago on to greener pastures, or at least to a more cow intensive environment. I'm far removed from that eight year old kid who learned how to keep score in the right field seats of a Sox-Yankees game. With all my education, with everything that has gone on in my life, it really should be just a game.
But to see that team you cheered when you were a kid finally be the ones holding the trophy at the end. To look at the crowd and know that everyone there is thinking about the generations of fans who wanted nothing more just to see this moment. You can't say it any simpler than it is a dream come true.
And if the Sox can win the World Series, anything is possible.
We Did It!
We did it! We won the World Series!
We did win the World Series right? I mean, they gave us the trophy and everything. There's no way that they might try to take it back, right? It's ours, isn't it?
There is no way that I am going to put words to this. I've spent an entire lifetime wondering if I would ever get to see something like this. Hell, I never even hoped that I would see Chicago win a World Series. I just wanted to see a team in the World Series. To finally have this happen is really amazing. It's like my life is now fulfilled. After all of these years, we finally won the big one.
I'll just give one little discussion of the team before I go off to celebrate a little more. It's not even about the team, it's about the coaching staff. This is a team whose coaches basically all played for the Sox. Harold Baines, Greg Walker, Joey Cora, Kenny Williams at GM and Ozzie Guillen. All of those guys knew what it meant to play for the White Sox and they instilled that in the team. With free agency and all of the less savory aspects of modern sports teams still have an attitude and these coaches made sure the players understood.
I never thought that I'd say this, but I'm happy for Jerry Reinsdorf. He also owns the Bulls but it was always known that he'd much rather have the White Sox win. But I'm going to end this night thinking that somewhere out there in the world, Bill Veeck is looking at this celebration and smiling.
We did win the World Series right? I mean, they gave us the trophy and everything. There's no way that they might try to take it back, right? It's ours, isn't it?
There is no way that I am going to put words to this. I've spent an entire lifetime wondering if I would ever get to see something like this. Hell, I never even hoped that I would see Chicago win a World Series. I just wanted to see a team in the World Series. To finally have this happen is really amazing. It's like my life is now fulfilled. After all of these years, we finally won the big one.
I'll just give one little discussion of the team before I go off to celebrate a little more. It's not even about the team, it's about the coaching staff. This is a team whose coaches basically all played for the Sox. Harold Baines, Greg Walker, Joey Cora, Kenny Williams at GM and Ozzie Guillen. All of those guys knew what it meant to play for the White Sox and they instilled that in the team. With free agency and all of the less savory aspects of modern sports teams still have an attitude and these coaches made sure the players understood.
I never thought that I'd say this, but I'm happy for Jerry Reinsdorf. He also owns the Bulls but it was always known that he'd much rather have the White Sox win. But I'm going to end this night thinking that somewhere out there in the world, Bill Veeck is looking at this celebration and smiling.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Just need one more...
Very, very quick post tonight. I've just watched about six hours worth of baseball and all I want to do right now is go to sleep. But I'm probably going to be too pumped to sleep. That was just a classic baseball game. The White Sox just grinded out that game. Down four runs to the Astros ace and they pull off a five run inning. The Astros had chance after chance to put that game away in the bottom of the inning and they never could. And a guy who I didn't even know was playing hits the game winning home run for the White Sox. What a series.
We're one win away. We might actually have a chance here.
We're one win away. We might actually have a chance here.
Monday, October 24, 2005
I Love 1980 and 1981
7:59 P.M.: Ok, an explanation. I’ve promised to keep track of VH-1’s I Love the 80’s this week. That was before the Sox made the Series. So tonight is the only night that I can actually do a running journal. That means it is time to analyze 1980 and 1981, in what might turn into the ultimate test of my memory. Let’s see how this goes.
8:05 P.M.: Ah Fame. You know, even from the level of musical theatre this one was odd. Because I know that I see random people breaking out into dance in the street all the time. At least in a musical there is a predefined level of disbelief, here it was a regular movie where people would just break into song. It was a precursor to Cop Rock.
8:10 P.M.: We’re talking about Barbie dolls right now. I’ve got nothing.
8:14 P.M.: No, I do not have my 3-D glasses on right now. Why make the world any more lifelike than it already is.
8:19 P.M.: For those of you who did not grow up in the early 80’s you really can’t understand just how incredible Richard Pryor was as a stand-up comedian. He was just the absolute best. Pick up one of the old concert tapes. It’s worth the effort.
8:22 P.M.: Gary Numan’s “Cars”. See, this is why I have a hell of a time saying that the past is so much better than the present. This was one of the best songs of the year and I don’t think there was an instrument in the damn song. Of course, hearing it I’m still smiling and nodding my head. What was going on back then? Why couldn’t they have afforded guitars?
8:32 P.M.: Elvira is still alive. I’ll be damned.
8:33 P.M.: At some point here I’m going to start commenting on the commentators. Like Allyson Hannigan. I find her much more attractive than she has any right being. But red hair, a good sense of humor and a cute smile and I’m pretty much at a lost for words. Can I like get on a waiting list to date her? Or just talk to her? That would probably suffice.
8:35 P.M.: Intellivision. Now here is something I can talk about. Quite possibly the most confusing controller in the history of the planet. When I have arthritis in my hands when I’m thirty five I have that to blame. My thumbs hurt right now just thinking about that thing.
8:38 P.M.: There is some good news from this experiment. They just did a bit on the movie My Bodyguard. The first thought in my mind, “Hey, Chris Makepeace from Meatballs was the star in that movie.” And five seconds into the segment they go, “Starring Chris Makepeace who played Rudy the Rabbit in Meatballs”. How do I actually know these things? Imagine what I could have done if I used my memory for something useful. Oh well, this movie was one that I probably watched a hundred times growing up. It seemed to be on HBO every day. Your classic story of a non-muscular kid (can’t really call him a nerd) getting picked on by a bully, hires a tougher kid to be his bodyguard, leading to a fight between the kid and the bully in which all involved learn something at the end. They made a great point, this movie could not be remade today since it would be “Here’s my bodyguard” followed by “Here’s my gun.”
8:43 P.M.: A comment on the movie Meatballs. Rudy the Rabbit gets his chance to run in the big race because the girl his team was going to run twists an ankle beforehand. No one ever asks the question “The best runner on their team was a girl?” Here it is, the big race to justify your summer camp experience and the best athlete your camp can produce is a girl? Unless she was Mary Decker, I think that was going to be a huge mismatch.
8:46 P.M.: Oh God, Neil Diamond. True Story: a few years back I was sitting in a pub in Dublin, drinking with a bunch of Aussies and Canadians. Of all the things in the world to listen to, here we are in a place with some of the best music ever written, and we end up listening to the best of Neil Diamond. I actually had to apologize when “Coming to America” came on. I think that is when I officially became Canadian.
8:49 P.M.: Mo Rocca is wearing a K State shirt. I just lost all respect for the guy.
8:51 P.M.: I actually missed the question on what was the Elephant Man’s name at trivia last week. I knew that it was John something. It’s John Merrick. Maybe that long term memory is gone after all.
9:06 P.M.: History of the World Part I. Another movie that I’ve seen about three thousand times. There are so many great lines in that flick. “It’s good to be the king.” Great comedy.
9:08 P.M.: And even greater comedy, the Circus of the Stars. I still think that show should still be brought back. We don’t have nearly enough starlets training tigers anymore. This is up there with Battle of the Network Stars for “Shows that were really cool when you were eight.”
9:13 P.M.: Loverboy. Again, explain to me why music today sucks when compared to the past. At least guys in bands aren’t wearing headbands any more.
9:20 P.M.: Chariots of Fire. I still remember the scene about the guys running through the college courtyard trying to set a school record. And when I actually drove past the courtyard twenty years later I was so pissed that they wouldn’t let me stop and run through the courtyard just so I could see just how slow I actually am.
9:22 P.M.: Once again, I am notably ahead of the culture curve. You Can’t Do That On Television makes the cut. Please see my entry from eight months ago for all of my feelings on this topic. Technically, you need a lot more than three minutes to discuss this show. It should get one of those True Hollywood Stories treatments.
9:28 P.M.: And they gave The Great Muppet Caper a two second mention? You would think that on their third review of 1981 they would have a clue about what they were doing.
9:36 P.M.: We have now been reduced to talking about fruit flies. I think we have officially reached the point where we have run out of past. Oh wait, now we are talking about Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell sisters. Now we are bringing up shows that I’ve spent the past decade drinking Jager in the hopes of forgetting. Thanks VH-1. It’s shows like this that make me say things like “I listen to Alt Country or Americana”, everything possible to keep from saying I listen to country music.
9:40 P.M.: REO Fucking Speedwagon. The best band ever from Champaign, Illinois. Now this is what we are talking about when we mention great music from the 80’s.
9:51 P.M.: Let’s add Juice Newton to the list of people who keep me from claiming to be a fan of country music. And the Oak Ridge Boys. That band put mammals back a couple of decades.
9:55 P.M.: Ah, just switched on The Edge of Country and caught a Kelly Willis video. There is some hope for this planet after all. I think I’ll end it on that note.
8:05 P.M.: Ah Fame. You know, even from the level of musical theatre this one was odd. Because I know that I see random people breaking out into dance in the street all the time. At least in a musical there is a predefined level of disbelief, here it was a regular movie where people would just break into song. It was a precursor to Cop Rock.
8:10 P.M.: We’re talking about Barbie dolls right now. I’ve got nothing.
8:14 P.M.: No, I do not have my 3-D glasses on right now. Why make the world any more lifelike than it already is.
8:19 P.M.: For those of you who did not grow up in the early 80’s you really can’t understand just how incredible Richard Pryor was as a stand-up comedian. He was just the absolute best. Pick up one of the old concert tapes. It’s worth the effort.
8:22 P.M.: Gary Numan’s “Cars”. See, this is why I have a hell of a time saying that the past is so much better than the present. This was one of the best songs of the year and I don’t think there was an instrument in the damn song. Of course, hearing it I’m still smiling and nodding my head. What was going on back then? Why couldn’t they have afforded guitars?
8:32 P.M.: Elvira is still alive. I’ll be damned.
8:33 P.M.: At some point here I’m going to start commenting on the commentators. Like Allyson Hannigan. I find her much more attractive than she has any right being. But red hair, a good sense of humor and a cute smile and I’m pretty much at a lost for words. Can I like get on a waiting list to date her? Or just talk to her? That would probably suffice.
8:35 P.M.: Intellivision. Now here is something I can talk about. Quite possibly the most confusing controller in the history of the planet. When I have arthritis in my hands when I’m thirty five I have that to blame. My thumbs hurt right now just thinking about that thing.
8:38 P.M.: There is some good news from this experiment. They just did a bit on the movie My Bodyguard. The first thought in my mind, “Hey, Chris Makepeace from Meatballs was the star in that movie.” And five seconds into the segment they go, “Starring Chris Makepeace who played Rudy the Rabbit in Meatballs”. How do I actually know these things? Imagine what I could have done if I used my memory for something useful. Oh well, this movie was one that I probably watched a hundred times growing up. It seemed to be on HBO every day. Your classic story of a non-muscular kid (can’t really call him a nerd) getting picked on by a bully, hires a tougher kid to be his bodyguard, leading to a fight between the kid and the bully in which all involved learn something at the end. They made a great point, this movie could not be remade today since it would be “Here’s my bodyguard” followed by “Here’s my gun.”
8:43 P.M.: A comment on the movie Meatballs. Rudy the Rabbit gets his chance to run in the big race because the girl his team was going to run twists an ankle beforehand. No one ever asks the question “The best runner on their team was a girl?” Here it is, the big race to justify your summer camp experience and the best athlete your camp can produce is a girl? Unless she was Mary Decker, I think that was going to be a huge mismatch.
8:46 P.M.: Oh God, Neil Diamond. True Story: a few years back I was sitting in a pub in Dublin, drinking with a bunch of Aussies and Canadians. Of all the things in the world to listen to, here we are in a place with some of the best music ever written, and we end up listening to the best of Neil Diamond. I actually had to apologize when “Coming to America” came on. I think that is when I officially became Canadian.
8:49 P.M.: Mo Rocca is wearing a K State shirt. I just lost all respect for the guy.
8:51 P.M.: I actually missed the question on what was the Elephant Man’s name at trivia last week. I knew that it was John something. It’s John Merrick. Maybe that long term memory is gone after all.
9:06 P.M.: History of the World Part I. Another movie that I’ve seen about three thousand times. There are so many great lines in that flick. “It’s good to be the king.” Great comedy.
9:08 P.M.: And even greater comedy, the Circus of the Stars. I still think that show should still be brought back. We don’t have nearly enough starlets training tigers anymore. This is up there with Battle of the Network Stars for “Shows that were really cool when you were eight.”
9:13 P.M.: Loverboy. Again, explain to me why music today sucks when compared to the past. At least guys in bands aren’t wearing headbands any more.
9:20 P.M.: Chariots of Fire. I still remember the scene about the guys running through the college courtyard trying to set a school record. And when I actually drove past the courtyard twenty years later I was so pissed that they wouldn’t let me stop and run through the courtyard just so I could see just how slow I actually am.
9:22 P.M.: Once again, I am notably ahead of the culture curve. You Can’t Do That On Television makes the cut. Please see my entry from eight months ago for all of my feelings on this topic. Technically, you need a lot more than three minutes to discuss this show. It should get one of those True Hollywood Stories treatments.
9:28 P.M.: And they gave The Great Muppet Caper a two second mention? You would think that on their third review of 1981 they would have a clue about what they were doing.
9:36 P.M.: We have now been reduced to talking about fruit flies. I think we have officially reached the point where we have run out of past. Oh wait, now we are talking about Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell sisters. Now we are bringing up shows that I’ve spent the past decade drinking Jager in the hopes of forgetting. Thanks VH-1. It’s shows like this that make me say things like “I listen to Alt Country or Americana”, everything possible to keep from saying I listen to country music.
9:40 P.M.: REO Fucking Speedwagon. The best band ever from Champaign, Illinois. Now this is what we are talking about when we mention great music from the 80’s.
9:51 P.M.: Let’s add Juice Newton to the list of people who keep me from claiming to be a fan of country music. And the Oak Ridge Boys. That band put mammals back a couple of decades.
9:55 P.M.: Ah, just switched on The Edge of Country and caught a Kelly Willis video. There is some hope for this planet after all. I think I’ll end it on that note.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Walk it Off
That is basically unbelievable. A walk off home run from a guy who didn’t hit a home run during the entire regular season. The White Sox have defended their home field, which is exactly what you want to see. Now it is off to Houston to see if we can pick up a win or two there and maybe, just maybe, take this entire thing. Unbelievable.
A couple of baseball notes…
1) Yes, there is a reason why you are hearing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” in the background during the game. It has somehow become one of the team’s theme songs. I can’t tell you why. I don’t even want to know why. Personally, I prefer the Go Go White Sox song.
2) I love the fact that we still have the organist at New Comiskey. I don’t care how nice your new retro ballpark is, unless you have Nancy Faust playing songs in between at bats it’s just not a baseball game. Just a wonderful old school touch.
3) I’m not exactly fond of playing God Bless America prior to the seventh inning stretch. That is a New York thing. In Chicago we never play that song, we just go right to Take Me Out to the Ballgame. But, if it is going to be performed, bringing out Liz Phair to sing it is a perfectly Chicago move. The Yankees would bring out some tenor from the Met, the White Sox bring out an indie rocker who doesn’t have much of a voice on a good day. That is style.
4) Something that only a longtime Chicago White Sox fan would appreciate, the appearance of Andy the Clown in the pregame show before Game 1. For the uninitiated, Andy the Clown was a guy who dressed up in a clown costume and went to Sox games. He wasn’t a mascot or anything, just a fan in a clown costume. Incredibly, no one ever questioned this.
5) Oh, and we also got our mandatory replay of Disco Demolition night. The best promotion ever, even if it did result in the field getting set on fire, a riot, and the forfeiture of a second half of a doubleheader.
And some non-baseball notes…
1) I’ve been amiss at not talking about the Pitch awards, which celebrate the absolute best of Kansas City. That’s not an oxymoron. Or at least I don’t think it is. First off, I need to apologize for not winning the “Best Blog” competition. Apparently my rantings just are not up to the award winning level of some of the other people in KC. We’ll work on that for next year. Of course, it would have helped if you guys had filled the ballot box for me.
2) But I have to give props to one of the award winners. The award for best patio bar went to Harry’s, which makes me happy since I spent a huge amount of my summer on that patio. It truly is a great combination of people watching, good drinks, and interesting conversations. Plus, one of my favorite bartenders on the planet worked up there and she definitely deserves an award. I mean, basically anyone who has to put up with me on a regular basis should be honored. Congrats.
The five random CDs of the week
1) Blue Mountain “Homegrown”
2) Loreena McKennitt “The Book of Secrets”
3) The Subdudes “Live at Last”
4) Sarah McLachlan “Surfacing”
5) Veruca Salt “Blow It Out Your Ass, It’s Veruca Salt”
A couple of baseball notes…
1) Yes, there is a reason why you are hearing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” in the background during the game. It has somehow become one of the team’s theme songs. I can’t tell you why. I don’t even want to know why. Personally, I prefer the Go Go White Sox song.
2) I love the fact that we still have the organist at New Comiskey. I don’t care how nice your new retro ballpark is, unless you have Nancy Faust playing songs in between at bats it’s just not a baseball game. Just a wonderful old school touch.
3) I’m not exactly fond of playing God Bless America prior to the seventh inning stretch. That is a New York thing. In Chicago we never play that song, we just go right to Take Me Out to the Ballgame. But, if it is going to be performed, bringing out Liz Phair to sing it is a perfectly Chicago move. The Yankees would bring out some tenor from the Met, the White Sox bring out an indie rocker who doesn’t have much of a voice on a good day. That is style.
4) Something that only a longtime Chicago White Sox fan would appreciate, the appearance of Andy the Clown in the pregame show before Game 1. For the uninitiated, Andy the Clown was a guy who dressed up in a clown costume and went to Sox games. He wasn’t a mascot or anything, just a fan in a clown costume. Incredibly, no one ever questioned this.
5) Oh, and we also got our mandatory replay of Disco Demolition night. The best promotion ever, even if it did result in the field getting set on fire, a riot, and the forfeiture of a second half of a doubleheader.
And some non-baseball notes…
1) I’ve been amiss at not talking about the Pitch awards, which celebrate the absolute best of Kansas City. That’s not an oxymoron. Or at least I don’t think it is. First off, I need to apologize for not winning the “Best Blog” competition. Apparently my rantings just are not up to the award winning level of some of the other people in KC. We’ll work on that for next year. Of course, it would have helped if you guys had filled the ballot box for me.
2) But I have to give props to one of the award winners. The award for best patio bar went to Harry’s, which makes me happy since I spent a huge amount of my summer on that patio. It truly is a great combination of people watching, good drinks, and interesting conversations. Plus, one of my favorite bartenders on the planet worked up there and she definitely deserves an award. I mean, basically anyone who has to put up with me on a regular basis should be honored. Congrats.
The five random CDs of the week
1) Blue Mountain “Homegrown”
2) Loreena McKennitt “The Book of Secrets”
3) The Subdudes “Live at Last”
4) Sarah McLachlan “Surfacing”
5) Veruca Salt “Blow It Out Your Ass, It’s Veruca Salt”
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Rock Star: Van Halen
(Long time readers of the blog (and I thank each and every last one of you) have probably noticed over time that my Thursday night postings always seem to lack a little bit of the energy and verve of the other postings. Which really is saying something. There is a little bit of an explanation that is warranted. Thursday nights tend to be pretty busy for me. I’m usually either a) playing poker, b) at a concert or c) playing trivia. There is also the always popular d) which is that I tend to run out of ideas pretty quickly and by Thursday we are pretty much at the bottom of the barrel. I’m going to try to improve this over the next few weeks but hey, I figured that open communication is the best policy.)
Anyway, so they are thinking about Rock Star: Van Halen? David Lee Roth must be rolling over in his grave. What, you mean he isn’t dead yet? That’s hurting my Dead Pool, I can tell you that. As an avid analyzer of reality television, I might as well weigh in on the subject.
First of all, Rock Star is at least an interesting take on the American Idol genre. While in American Idol you could probably go up there and sing Barry Manilow songs for two months and win the competition (Clay, I’m looking in your direction), Rock Star at least focuses on rock songs. So there is actually a real band behind the performers and some sense of actual performance. I understand that people really like American Idol but it does go completely against what I like in music. American Idol is entirely about the singer and absolutely nothing about the song. It’s singing in a fashion that results in the Star Spangled Banner taking five minutes to perform. Rock Star is still about the singer but at least it is a little less so.
There is an interesting question as to whether you can fault the contestants or not. If you are trying to make a career in music do you go on a game show in an attempt to make your name? Well, if you take the contest for what it is, an open audition to fill a lead singer spot, is it that much different than answering an ad in the paper? I’m definitely not say that it is the route that I would take but if you want to be famous, might as well take your shot any way you can. I think everyone should just realize that the people trying out are the people who are more interested in fame than a lasting musical legacy. They’re not trying to invent their own sound, they want to perform in a way that wins the contest. In and of itself, that is not a bad thing. It’s just not what I want to hear.
The bigger question is why would a band like Van Halen piss on their own legacy to be a part of something like this. Easy answer, because fame is a drug. When was the last time you gave a crap about Van Halen? Seriously, when in the past decade have you gone, “Man, I really would like to get that new Van Halen album.” When you used to travel the world and play in front of twenty thousand people a night and now you’ve been delegated to the answer of a trivia question it effects your ego. And you’ll do anything to get one last taste of the spotlight. Even selling out your own legacy to be a part of a game show.
It’s very difficult to retire gracefully. To step away from a situation when you know all is lost. Every guy who has ever tried to hold on to a relationship that ended six months previously knows what I am talking about. At the end of the day, one of the things that is the final judgment of your character is how do you react when you’ve reached the end of a journey. For Van Halen, it appears that their solution for reaching the end of a journey is to turn into Journey.
Anyway, so they are thinking about Rock Star: Van Halen? David Lee Roth must be rolling over in his grave. What, you mean he isn’t dead yet? That’s hurting my Dead Pool, I can tell you that. As an avid analyzer of reality television, I might as well weigh in on the subject.
First of all, Rock Star is at least an interesting take on the American Idol genre. While in American Idol you could probably go up there and sing Barry Manilow songs for two months and win the competition (Clay, I’m looking in your direction), Rock Star at least focuses on rock songs. So there is actually a real band behind the performers and some sense of actual performance. I understand that people really like American Idol but it does go completely against what I like in music. American Idol is entirely about the singer and absolutely nothing about the song. It’s singing in a fashion that results in the Star Spangled Banner taking five minutes to perform. Rock Star is still about the singer but at least it is a little less so.
There is an interesting question as to whether you can fault the contestants or not. If you are trying to make a career in music do you go on a game show in an attempt to make your name? Well, if you take the contest for what it is, an open audition to fill a lead singer spot, is it that much different than answering an ad in the paper? I’m definitely not say that it is the route that I would take but if you want to be famous, might as well take your shot any way you can. I think everyone should just realize that the people trying out are the people who are more interested in fame than a lasting musical legacy. They’re not trying to invent their own sound, they want to perform in a way that wins the contest. In and of itself, that is not a bad thing. It’s just not what I want to hear.
The bigger question is why would a band like Van Halen piss on their own legacy to be a part of something like this. Easy answer, because fame is a drug. When was the last time you gave a crap about Van Halen? Seriously, when in the past decade have you gone, “Man, I really would like to get that new Van Halen album.” When you used to travel the world and play in front of twenty thousand people a night and now you’ve been delegated to the answer of a trivia question it effects your ego. And you’ll do anything to get one last taste of the spotlight. Even selling out your own legacy to be a part of a game show.
It’s very difficult to retire gracefully. To step away from a situation when you know all is lost. Every guy who has ever tried to hold on to a relationship that ended six months previously knows what I am talking about. At the end of the day, one of the things that is the final judgment of your character is how do you react when you’ve reached the end of a journey. For Van Halen, it appears that their solution for reaching the end of a journey is to turn into Journey.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Top cartoons of the 80's
Ok, I had the following website passed on to me (that’s a little bit of an exaggeration, I saw it on espn.com ‘s page 2). Anyway, www.askmen.com apparently puts together a ton of top ten lists because we’re guys and if there is one thing that we will always do it is put together top ten lists. Because we cannot accept this world unless it is in order and ranked with no questions about any of the items. There are no ties or honorable mentions, everything is in listed order. You can’t believe how important this fact is to most guy’s lives. Given that I’m kind of low on ideas right now, here is their list for Top Ten Cartoons From the 80’s along with my always insightful commentary.
#10 Mask: This show always seemed to be the bastard stepchild of GI Joe and Transformers and Gobots. I mean, it had interesting vehicles and battles where everyone shot laser beams at each other and no one died but it didn’t have any of the immense joy of the other shows. It seemed to be a thirty minute commercial for toys you wouldn’t want anyway.
#9 TranZor Z: I have no recollection of this one. Maybe I have killed one too many brain cells after all.
#8: The Smurfs: I need to present this theory to the Interweb. Did everyone have one girl in their grade school class who was just way too into the Smurfs? I mean, like she would bring in her complete set of Smurf trading cards to class. Or show off that she had like fifty of the little figurines? Ever wonder what happened to her? Can someone perform a sociological experiment and determine whether that results in a healthy lifestyle? I have a feeling that girl became that girl in college who had like a dozen stuffed animals on her bed and you learned very quickly to proceed with caution.
#7 Thundercats: Hell yeah this was a great show. Was there ever a bigger badass cartoon character than Panthro? You knew he was just sitting there, watching Lion-O and going “One day I am just going to have enough of you and your sword and just beat you to a pulp. And then I’m going to score with Cheetara.” (Cheetara, who is universely agreed to be the hottest cartoon character of the 80’s.) Plus, Mumm-Ra was the one cartoon villain on par with the heroes. You always knew that Cobra was going to get its ass kicked at the end of the day. Mumm-Ra always stood a fighting chance.
#6 Jem and the Holograms: I think we’ve covered this one before. I blame this for the rise of teen pop in the late 80’s. Imagine having that on your conscience, knowing that by producing a cartoon show you are personally responsible for unleashing Tiffany on an unknowing public. (Debbie Gibson gets a pass. She seems pretty cool in retrospect.)
#5 Inspector Gadget: I remember watching this show when it premiered and thought (as a nine year old) “God, this is going to be dumb.” I then proceeded to watch the show to an age that there is no way in hell that I am going to admit in public. I don’t know, it was an extremely silly show but unlike most of the other shows on this list actually seemed to have writers. Having the evil Dr. Klaw never seen or captured throughout the entire run of the series is a classic example of how you are supposed to write a television show.
#4 Voltron: Defender of the Universe: Voltron is number four? What moron put Voltron at number four? Dude, you had teenagers flying robots shaped like lions in space that combined to form an even bigger robot with a sword that took on even larger robots in these interplanetary battles. You’re telling me that there was an even better concept out there somewhere. Any show that causes one of my friends to state twenty years after the show has been off the air that “I think I’m just going to pursue my dream of piloting the black lion in Voltron” has to be higher than fourth.
#3 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Best action figures from a series ever. Sure, I watched the show but couldn’t recall much from it anymore. However, I can describe in great detail the pro wrestling league that my younger brother and I developed using the action figures. With title belts and rankings and steel cage matches and full cards and long lasting feuds. Is it sad that this is one of my most vivid memories from childhood? It’s like my past is sponsored by Hasbro.
#2 Transformers: I loved the fact that the evil leader Megatron turned into a gun. Everyone else turned into planes or cars and Megatron was just straight and to the point. Best idea ever in a cartoon series was the introduction of the Dinobots, who were unbelievably well developed characters. They were dumb but that was because they were dinosaurs. It made a lot of sense to a ten year old.
#1 GI Joe: Man, did I waste a lot of time that I could have spent playing outside watching every episode of this show about two dozen times. But you had to be there to see if Snake Eyes was going to do something cool. Or if Zartan was going to be cool and Australian in an episode. I saw an episode replayed on television about a year ago and after seeing it I am amazed that I even consider myself an intelligent human being after spending my youth watching that show.
Last note: No Battle of the Planets? No G-Force? Those are the shows that I end up buying the DVDs of. And what about Dungeons and Dragons (even if you wanted to kill that damn unicorn like the rest of us.)? I think this list is incomplete.
#10 Mask: This show always seemed to be the bastard stepchild of GI Joe and Transformers and Gobots. I mean, it had interesting vehicles and battles where everyone shot laser beams at each other and no one died but it didn’t have any of the immense joy of the other shows. It seemed to be a thirty minute commercial for toys you wouldn’t want anyway.
#9 TranZor Z: I have no recollection of this one. Maybe I have killed one too many brain cells after all.
#8: The Smurfs: I need to present this theory to the Interweb. Did everyone have one girl in their grade school class who was just way too into the Smurfs? I mean, like she would bring in her complete set of Smurf trading cards to class. Or show off that she had like fifty of the little figurines? Ever wonder what happened to her? Can someone perform a sociological experiment and determine whether that results in a healthy lifestyle? I have a feeling that girl became that girl in college who had like a dozen stuffed animals on her bed and you learned very quickly to proceed with caution.
#7 Thundercats: Hell yeah this was a great show. Was there ever a bigger badass cartoon character than Panthro? You knew he was just sitting there, watching Lion-O and going “One day I am just going to have enough of you and your sword and just beat you to a pulp. And then I’m going to score with Cheetara.” (Cheetara, who is universely agreed to be the hottest cartoon character of the 80’s.) Plus, Mumm-Ra was the one cartoon villain on par with the heroes. You always knew that Cobra was going to get its ass kicked at the end of the day. Mumm-Ra always stood a fighting chance.
#6 Jem and the Holograms: I think we’ve covered this one before. I blame this for the rise of teen pop in the late 80’s. Imagine having that on your conscience, knowing that by producing a cartoon show you are personally responsible for unleashing Tiffany on an unknowing public. (Debbie Gibson gets a pass. She seems pretty cool in retrospect.)
#5 Inspector Gadget: I remember watching this show when it premiered and thought (as a nine year old) “God, this is going to be dumb.” I then proceeded to watch the show to an age that there is no way in hell that I am going to admit in public. I don’t know, it was an extremely silly show but unlike most of the other shows on this list actually seemed to have writers. Having the evil Dr. Klaw never seen or captured throughout the entire run of the series is a classic example of how you are supposed to write a television show.
#4 Voltron: Defender of the Universe: Voltron is number four? What moron put Voltron at number four? Dude, you had teenagers flying robots shaped like lions in space that combined to form an even bigger robot with a sword that took on even larger robots in these interplanetary battles. You’re telling me that there was an even better concept out there somewhere. Any show that causes one of my friends to state twenty years after the show has been off the air that “I think I’m just going to pursue my dream of piloting the black lion in Voltron” has to be higher than fourth.
#3 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Best action figures from a series ever. Sure, I watched the show but couldn’t recall much from it anymore. However, I can describe in great detail the pro wrestling league that my younger brother and I developed using the action figures. With title belts and rankings and steel cage matches and full cards and long lasting feuds. Is it sad that this is one of my most vivid memories from childhood? It’s like my past is sponsored by Hasbro.
#2 Transformers: I loved the fact that the evil leader Megatron turned into a gun. Everyone else turned into planes or cars and Megatron was just straight and to the point. Best idea ever in a cartoon series was the introduction of the Dinobots, who were unbelievably well developed characters. They were dumb but that was because they were dinosaurs. It made a lot of sense to a ten year old.
#1 GI Joe: Man, did I waste a lot of time that I could have spent playing outside watching every episode of this show about two dozen times. But you had to be there to see if Snake Eyes was going to do something cool. Or if Zartan was going to be cool and Australian in an episode. I saw an episode replayed on television about a year ago and after seeing it I am amazed that I even consider myself an intelligent human being after spending my youth watching that show.
Last note: No Battle of the Planets? No G-Force? Those are the shows that I end up buying the DVDs of. And what about Dungeons and Dragons (even if you wanted to kill that damn unicorn like the rest of us.)? I think this list is incomplete.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Top novels of all time
Came across another one of those “Best novels of all time” list, this time from Time magazine.
www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html
So, these are the top 100 novels of all time. With novel described as a fictional book written in English. And All Time defines as since 1923. That means I’ve got a few problems with the title of the list before I even get into the titles on the list. Of the 100 I’ve read 23, which isn’t bad for a guy who never took an English Lit course past English 103. This means that I am more than qualified to pass on comments on a few books shown on the list (and some horrible omissions)
Animal Farm by George Orwell: I think I first read this book in eighth grade. It’s probably one that I should reread even though I can still recount a number of the rules by memory. Heck, I’ve used “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others” in everyday conversation. Great book.
1984 by George Orwell: No problem with it’s inclusion but how could they not list its companion “Brave New World” by Adolphous Huxley? Those are the two books that best defined the dark view of the future
Neuromancer by William Gibson: Ok, three books defined the dark view of the future. The book that gave us the term “Cyberpunk”
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis: Wow, I think I read this one when I was in fourth grade. Admittedly, a lot of the symbolism went over my head but for a Dungeon and Dragons kid this was a classic.
The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood: It’s a good book but I wouldn’t even call it her best novel. I’d have to put The Handmaid’s Tale in its place. Maybe they just didn’t want that many books that were mainly about how society will collapse into a totalitarian state. Though that has been a constant theme of modern literature for the past sixty years.
Deliverance by James Dickey: Yes, this was actually a novel first. Sadly, like everyone else I was unable to read it without imagining Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty. I think it will take a few generations and an end to cable repeats for this book to regain its credibility.
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell: A literary critic made this list? I have never in my life heard anyway with half a critical brain say anything good about that book. It’s famous because it had a big budget movie made from it. It is a travesty that a book like this is shown while John Kennedy Toole’s “A Confederacy of Dunces” is excluded.
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut: One of my favorite books of all time. Though I actually got an F on a paper I wrote about it. (Not kidding, one of the few times in my life where I actually failed, it was senior year in high school.) Basically, when you are writing a report on a book that travels in time just keep your verb tense in the past tense. Most teachers won’t consider a constant change in tense as an homage to the source material.
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: The greatest piece of literature ever written by an American author. There is no argument. (Other than maybe Huck Finn)
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace: I just want to state that I actually finished this book. If you’ve ever seen it, you’ll understand why I feel the need to yell that from the mountaintop. It’s a great book about (in equal parts) tennis, advanced calculus, and smoking pot.
Watchmen by Alan Moore: This is a graphic novel. Not a comic book as others would claim. If you’ve ever wondered about what is in that graphic novel section in your local bookstore you should start with this one. It will make you rethink everything that you thought was possible in telling a story.
And of course, the absolute best one on the list…
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
See, this is how you can tell I wasn’t behind the list. Because if it was me I would have included Superfudge as my token Judy Blume novel.
(Oh god, I can remember books I read in fourth grade. That is scary)
I’m sorry, but how in the world does Judy Blume make the list of top writers of all time? I mean, sure, she wrote great books for young adults and Are You There God fits the bill but of all time? Am I the only person who has a problem with this? Help me out here.
www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html
So, these are the top 100 novels of all time. With novel described as a fictional book written in English. And All Time defines as since 1923. That means I’ve got a few problems with the title of the list before I even get into the titles on the list. Of the 100 I’ve read 23, which isn’t bad for a guy who never took an English Lit course past English 103. This means that I am more than qualified to pass on comments on a few books shown on the list (and some horrible omissions)
Animal Farm by George Orwell: I think I first read this book in eighth grade. It’s probably one that I should reread even though I can still recount a number of the rules by memory. Heck, I’ve used “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others” in everyday conversation. Great book.
1984 by George Orwell: No problem with it’s inclusion but how could they not list its companion “Brave New World” by Adolphous Huxley? Those are the two books that best defined the dark view of the future
Neuromancer by William Gibson: Ok, three books defined the dark view of the future. The book that gave us the term “Cyberpunk”
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis: Wow, I think I read this one when I was in fourth grade. Admittedly, a lot of the symbolism went over my head but for a Dungeon and Dragons kid this was a classic.
The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood: It’s a good book but I wouldn’t even call it her best novel. I’d have to put The Handmaid’s Tale in its place. Maybe they just didn’t want that many books that were mainly about how society will collapse into a totalitarian state. Though that has been a constant theme of modern literature for the past sixty years.
Deliverance by James Dickey: Yes, this was actually a novel first. Sadly, like everyone else I was unable to read it without imagining Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty. I think it will take a few generations and an end to cable repeats for this book to regain its credibility.
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell: A literary critic made this list? I have never in my life heard anyway with half a critical brain say anything good about that book. It’s famous because it had a big budget movie made from it. It is a travesty that a book like this is shown while John Kennedy Toole’s “A Confederacy of Dunces” is excluded.
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut: One of my favorite books of all time. Though I actually got an F on a paper I wrote about it. (Not kidding, one of the few times in my life where I actually failed, it was senior year in high school.) Basically, when you are writing a report on a book that travels in time just keep your verb tense in the past tense. Most teachers won’t consider a constant change in tense as an homage to the source material.
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: The greatest piece of literature ever written by an American author. There is no argument. (Other than maybe Huck Finn)
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace: I just want to state that I actually finished this book. If you’ve ever seen it, you’ll understand why I feel the need to yell that from the mountaintop. It’s a great book about (in equal parts) tennis, advanced calculus, and smoking pot.
Watchmen by Alan Moore: This is a graphic novel. Not a comic book as others would claim. If you’ve ever wondered about what is in that graphic novel section in your local bookstore you should start with this one. It will make you rethink everything that you thought was possible in telling a story.
And of course, the absolute best one on the list…
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
See, this is how you can tell I wasn’t behind the list. Because if it was me I would have included Superfudge as my token Judy Blume novel.
(Oh god, I can remember books I read in fourth grade. That is scary)
I’m sorry, but how in the world does Judy Blume make the list of top writers of all time? I mean, sure, she wrote great books for young adults and Are You There God fits the bill but of all time? Am I the only person who has a problem with this? Help me out here.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Weekend Update
Time to get back to a little more of our regularly scheduled programming. My rambling on about the White Sox is probably not that interesting to a majority of the people who read this (yes, that would equate to two of the three) but I really can’t overstate just how amazing it was to watch baseball this week. I’ve gone my entire life without ever seeing a Chicago team in the World Series and it finally has happened. It’s like I now have to decide whether this means that anything is possible and I should take all those risks I’ve been to reluctant to take all of these years or that this is a clear indication that the world is about to end. It’s a coin flip between the two.
I should also discuss the other huge sporting event from the weekend, which was the Notre Dame-USC game. First of all, that was just a great game to watch. The crowd was into it and it was just a back and forth slugfest. Both teams were down at times and the game could have been a fourteen point victory either way and you wouldn’t have been surprised. In the end, I’ll be honest and say the more talented team had the ball last and won the game. Sure, it took an incredible fourth down pass, a lucky fumble, and an illegal push by Reggie Bush to accomplish it, but USC won all the same.
As an ND fan, I certainly would have liked to see the team win but I am definitely holding my head high. Remember, there were a lot of sports pundits who were predicting that ND would be 1-5 at this point in the year. I’ll take being 4-2 having lost one game in overtime and the other on the last play of the game. It is a team that is overachieving like mad and this is a good sign that when Weis starts bringing his players in we will get back to the Notre Dame we all know and love. The nice thing is that there was that much emotion and drama surrounding the game. That is one of those things that makes you want to believe that Notre Dame football is back.
I ended up watching the game in my apartment. I originally planned on going out to a local bar to watch the game but I happened to discover that the Oklahoma-Kansas game was being played in KC that night. This meant that the town was swarming with Oklahoma fans and it just isn’t that much fun when you want to be watching the game with a bunch of people in green shirts and everyone is in red. Plus, it made traffic just horrible to deal with. I mean, you’d be driving through the plaza and then traffic would just stop and you’d realize that it was a Oklahoma fan who had seen one of the fountains and is therefore being introduced to the concept of running water…
(See, I don’t just make fun of Kansas)
Otherwise, it was a really quiet weekend. No concerts, not much going out, just a recharge my batteries type of weekend. I did pick up five CDs from Amazon, which is scary in and of itself. But, one of them gave me another potential slogan for the back of the Battling the Current t-shirt. Here it is (from a Josh Ritter song) “I’ve been from here to Lawrence, Kansas, trying to leave my state of mind.” I think it is pretty cool and that is all that is important.
I should also discuss the other huge sporting event from the weekend, which was the Notre Dame-USC game. First of all, that was just a great game to watch. The crowd was into it and it was just a back and forth slugfest. Both teams were down at times and the game could have been a fourteen point victory either way and you wouldn’t have been surprised. In the end, I’ll be honest and say the more talented team had the ball last and won the game. Sure, it took an incredible fourth down pass, a lucky fumble, and an illegal push by Reggie Bush to accomplish it, but USC won all the same.
As an ND fan, I certainly would have liked to see the team win but I am definitely holding my head high. Remember, there were a lot of sports pundits who were predicting that ND would be 1-5 at this point in the year. I’ll take being 4-2 having lost one game in overtime and the other on the last play of the game. It is a team that is overachieving like mad and this is a good sign that when Weis starts bringing his players in we will get back to the Notre Dame we all know and love. The nice thing is that there was that much emotion and drama surrounding the game. That is one of those things that makes you want to believe that Notre Dame football is back.
I ended up watching the game in my apartment. I originally planned on going out to a local bar to watch the game but I happened to discover that the Oklahoma-Kansas game was being played in KC that night. This meant that the town was swarming with Oklahoma fans and it just isn’t that much fun when you want to be watching the game with a bunch of people in green shirts and everyone is in red. Plus, it made traffic just horrible to deal with. I mean, you’d be driving through the plaza and then traffic would just stop and you’d realize that it was a Oklahoma fan who had seen one of the fountains and is therefore being introduced to the concept of running water…
(See, I don’t just make fun of Kansas)
Otherwise, it was a really quiet weekend. No concerts, not much going out, just a recharge my batteries type of weekend. I did pick up five CDs from Amazon, which is scary in and of itself. But, one of them gave me another potential slogan for the back of the Battling the Current t-shirt. Here it is (from a Josh Ritter song) “I’ve been from here to Lawrence, Kansas, trying to leave my state of mind.” I think it is pretty cool and that is all that is important.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
We did it!
We’ve won the pennant!
Let me repeat that.
The White Sox have won the f’ing pennant!
I don’t believe it. My team has actually made the World Series. Within my lifetime. After forty six years of baseball we’ve actually been able to make it to the World Series. I can’t believe it. You have to understand, while most people would celebrate by screaming and cheering I basically broke out into laughter. That hysterical laughter when you’ve seen the most amazing, improbable event occur in front of your own eyes. It’s this feeling of “Oh my God, we actually did it.”
Thanks to WGN, I get to have the Chicago news on while I write this so I get to hear the celebrations in my home town. You’ve got to understand just what an event this is for the city. They’re showing the bars and you have people spraying beer and champagne on each other in the bars like they’ve won the playoffs themselves. It’s so tough to explain what this is like for people who aren’t from Chicago. You have to understand, we have two baseball teams and we have not won a pennant since 1959. I’ve seen someone put together the probability on that happening and it is basically impossible. At some point growing up you begin to feel that it will just never happen.
(The crowd in Anaheim is now chanting “Four More Wins”. This is nuts)
You’ve got to love the way this team is put together. Their marketing slogan is “Win or Die Trying.” They are the ultimate do the little things right and make your own luck. They’ll steal first, they’ll hustle out balls in the infield, they’ll pitch until their arms fall off. They are just a gutsy little team that gets hits when they need them and win the close games. If you are not cheering this team, you just don’t love baseball.
(Unless you are a Cubs fan. Then you are excused from cheering this team. But I just need to say, “When was the last time you made a World Series?”)
I am grinning from ear to ear right now. In six months I’ve gotten to see Illinois make the Final Four and the White Sox make the World Series. This is quickly becoming one of my best years as a sports fan in my life. I can’t wait for Saturday night. Bring it on.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Iguanas “Live at Wolf Trap”
2) Lucinda Williams “World Without Tears”
3) Original Motion Picture Soundtrack “Blink”
4) Josh Ritter “The Golden Age of Radio”
5) The Frames “Set List”
Let me repeat that.
The White Sox have won the f’ing pennant!
I don’t believe it. My team has actually made the World Series. Within my lifetime. After forty six years of baseball we’ve actually been able to make it to the World Series. I can’t believe it. You have to understand, while most people would celebrate by screaming and cheering I basically broke out into laughter. That hysterical laughter when you’ve seen the most amazing, improbable event occur in front of your own eyes. It’s this feeling of “Oh my God, we actually did it.”
Thanks to WGN, I get to have the Chicago news on while I write this so I get to hear the celebrations in my home town. You’ve got to understand just what an event this is for the city. They’re showing the bars and you have people spraying beer and champagne on each other in the bars like they’ve won the playoffs themselves. It’s so tough to explain what this is like for people who aren’t from Chicago. You have to understand, we have two baseball teams and we have not won a pennant since 1959. I’ve seen someone put together the probability on that happening and it is basically impossible. At some point growing up you begin to feel that it will just never happen.
(The crowd in Anaheim is now chanting “Four More Wins”. This is nuts)
You’ve got to love the way this team is put together. Their marketing slogan is “Win or Die Trying.” They are the ultimate do the little things right and make your own luck. They’ll steal first, they’ll hustle out balls in the infield, they’ll pitch until their arms fall off. They are just a gutsy little team that gets hits when they need them and win the close games. If you are not cheering this team, you just don’t love baseball.
(Unless you are a Cubs fan. Then you are excused from cheering this team. But I just need to say, “When was the last time you made a World Series?”)
I am grinning from ear to ear right now. In six months I’ve gotten to see Illinois make the Final Four and the White Sox make the World Series. This is quickly becoming one of my best years as a sports fan in my life. I can’t wait for Saturday night. Bring it on.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Iguanas “Live at Wolf Trap”
2) Lucinda Williams “World Without Tears”
3) Original Motion Picture Soundtrack “Blink”
4) Josh Ritter “The Golden Age of Radio”
5) The Frames “Set List”
Friday, October 14, 2005
Finishing the week
First off, I need to wish a very happy thirtieth birthday to long time friend and constant contributor to the blog, Super Dave. Welcome to the wonderful world of lower back pain, Best of Sting CDs, and wondering if you are fully funding your Roth IRA. At least not we will have company when we start screaming, “When did I become old?”
It’s been a good night tonight. It was our monthly poker night and I came in a solid second. Actually, more like I was able to grind out a second place finish. I think when we were at seven players I had the least chips left and continued to have the least chips until I finished second. Still, that was my best finish in a while. Also, the night started with something that has never happened to me before or since. First hand, look down to see pocket aces. Bet through and win the pot, showing the aces. Second hand, look down and see pocket aces again. Win the pot again, showing the aces, and immediately get called a cheater. I’d rather not calculate the odds of that happening twice in a row. I’d rather have that luck when I play Powerball this weekend.
Not sure what I am going to end up doing this weekend. I’ll watch USC-Notre Dame, of course but I haven’t decided if I’ll watch it at home or at a bar. I figure that if there is any game to go to the official ND bar, this is probably the one. But, one of the nice things about watching ND games at home is I get to swear at the television and not feel self-conscious about it. Plus, since the games take like seven hours I am able to take care of two weeks of laundry while sitting on my couch and that is multi-tasking at its finest. Not aware of any concert this weekend that really make me want to jump up and down. (And yes, I did choose the White Sox game over Stryper last night. There are some decisions in life that you can just never take back.)
That’s about it. I’ll finish off with a rant on one of my random CDs. Can I state here just how much I hate the Connells? Ten years from now I’ll be going through my collection and come across a Carbon Leaf CD and say the same thing: why did I buy this and why am I now listening to it? It was the exact same reason: saw them in concert, there was nothing wrong about the band, bought their CD. Except that when you listen to it a few years later you actively question your own musical sanity. It’s not that they are bad people, I just have no idea why it is still in my collection. Other than I would rather not admit that I own it when I take it to the used record store.
It’s been a good night tonight. It was our monthly poker night and I came in a solid second. Actually, more like I was able to grind out a second place finish. I think when we were at seven players I had the least chips left and continued to have the least chips until I finished second. Still, that was my best finish in a while. Also, the night started with something that has never happened to me before or since. First hand, look down to see pocket aces. Bet through and win the pot, showing the aces. Second hand, look down and see pocket aces again. Win the pot again, showing the aces, and immediately get called a cheater. I’d rather not calculate the odds of that happening twice in a row. I’d rather have that luck when I play Powerball this weekend.
Not sure what I am going to end up doing this weekend. I’ll watch USC-Notre Dame, of course but I haven’t decided if I’ll watch it at home or at a bar. I figure that if there is any game to go to the official ND bar, this is probably the one. But, one of the nice things about watching ND games at home is I get to swear at the television and not feel self-conscious about it. Plus, since the games take like seven hours I am able to take care of two weeks of laundry while sitting on my couch and that is multi-tasking at its finest. Not aware of any concert this weekend that really make me want to jump up and down. (And yes, I did choose the White Sox game over Stryper last night. There are some decisions in life that you can just never take back.)
That’s about it. I’ll finish off with a rant on one of my random CDs. Can I state here just how much I hate the Connells? Ten years from now I’ll be going through my collection and come across a Carbon Leaf CD and say the same thing: why did I buy this and why am I now listening to it? It was the exact same reason: saw them in concert, there was nothing wrong about the band, bought their CD. Except that when you listen to it a few years later you actively question your own musical sanity. It’s not that they are bad people, I just have no idea why it is still in my collection. Other than I would rather not admit that I own it when I take it to the used record store.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Commercial time
Now that is why you hustle! Good play A.J. If the call is close, run to first and see what happens. Sure, I know that a lot of people are going to complain that it wasn’t actually a drop third strike and that the White Sox stole the game but the call is the call. Plus, if the Sox hadn’t been dumb enough to try to have Rowand score from third on an overthrow with no outs we would have won the game anyway. Nice way to even up the series.
A few more stories from last night. While walking around downtown Lawrence I saw a Dunkin Donuts napkin on the ground. For most people, that is just litter. For me, that is a sign that I really need to move to Lawrence. I’ve been searching like mad for a Dunkin Donuts in this town. My life isn’t complete without one. If I have to drive an hour to work every day I will accept it if that means I can fulfill my fix. You can take your Krispey Kremes and your health conscious bagels, give me artery clogging Dunkin Donuts any day of the week.
Oh, and to show how tired I was last night, I completely forgot the punch line to the Budweiser story. That story is proof that yes, I will turn down a free drink on occasion. It’s all a cost / benefit equation. The benefit of a free Budweiser doesn’t match the cost of knowing that I am actually drinking a Budweiser.
Ok, most interesting news story of the day. There is the coolest Unicef commercial in the world playing in Belgium right now. I know, most of you do not get Belgium television. That’s where I come in. Anyway, the commercial starts with a bucolic scene of the Smurfs dancing around their little mushroom village as they do in many a hippie’s acid dream. Then a dark cloud casts itself over the scene. Followed by fighter jets who proceed to carpet bomb the Smurf’s village. Mushrooms on fire. Papa Smurf fleeing for his life. Baby Smurf crying in the center of the screen. And in my mind, the piece de resistance, Smurfette lying dead in the middle of the road.
Have you ever heard of anything more bizarre in your life? I mean, this sounds like a comedy sketch you might see on Adult Swim, not a commercial for Unicef? How more intense could you be? Maybe Gargamel could have come out and stomped on the remnants of the city while the cat terrorized the few remaining survivors. And since when has Unicef been a part of shock television? Isn’t this the charity that I collected pennies for back when I was a little kid?
(For the record, this commercial is to raise money to help support those displaced by war, mainly those in the Sudan. So this is at least for a good cause.)
A few more stories from last night. While walking around downtown Lawrence I saw a Dunkin Donuts napkin on the ground. For most people, that is just litter. For me, that is a sign that I really need to move to Lawrence. I’ve been searching like mad for a Dunkin Donuts in this town. My life isn’t complete without one. If I have to drive an hour to work every day I will accept it if that means I can fulfill my fix. You can take your Krispey Kremes and your health conscious bagels, give me artery clogging Dunkin Donuts any day of the week.
Oh, and to show how tired I was last night, I completely forgot the punch line to the Budweiser story. That story is proof that yes, I will turn down a free drink on occasion. It’s all a cost / benefit equation. The benefit of a free Budweiser doesn’t match the cost of knowing that I am actually drinking a Budweiser.
Ok, most interesting news story of the day. There is the coolest Unicef commercial in the world playing in Belgium right now. I know, most of you do not get Belgium television. That’s where I come in. Anyway, the commercial starts with a bucolic scene of the Smurfs dancing around their little mushroom village as they do in many a hippie’s acid dream. Then a dark cloud casts itself over the scene. Followed by fighter jets who proceed to carpet bomb the Smurf’s village. Mushrooms on fire. Papa Smurf fleeing for his life. Baby Smurf crying in the center of the screen. And in my mind, the piece de resistance, Smurfette lying dead in the middle of the road.
Have you ever heard of anything more bizarre in your life? I mean, this sounds like a comedy sketch you might see on Adult Swim, not a commercial for Unicef? How more intense could you be? Maybe Gargamel could have come out and stomped on the remnants of the city while the cat terrorized the few remaining survivors. And since when has Unicef been a part of shock television? Isn’t this the charity that I collected pennies for back when I was a little kid?
(For the record, this commercial is to raise money to help support those displaced by war, mainly those in the Sudan. So this is at least for a good cause.)
Could use a Red Bull
It’s at times like this that my five years of a caffeine free lifestyle get to me. I am just dead beat right now. Four concerts in seven days, all more than an hour drive from my apartment, might just be a little too much for me right now. At least when you add in the fact that I have to work for a living. If I was a music critic sleeping in until noon every day, no problem. But I am technically expected to show up for work in the morning.
I caught most of the White Sox game before I went to check out Sleater-Kinney. I’m not that surprised that they lost. They had won eight straight and it’s always tough coming back from not playing. I know everyone was harping on the Angels playing in three cities in three days but I think that is easier than having three days off and suddenly playing playoff baseball again. I still have hope for the series. Definitely wasn’t expecting a sweep here.
The more interesting story is about what happened to me while I was at the bar watching the game. Ordered a beer and had a woman come up to me questioning my beer choice. I can see that she is wearing a Budweiser jacket and I’ve been around long enough to know that she is a Bud spokesperson who will try to get me to switch beer orders to a Bud product. Which I steadfastly refuse to do. When she asks what I have against Budweiser I answer simply, “I just hate St. Louis”, which made the bartender crack up. She didn’t bother me much after that comment.
(Full disclosure: I was drinking Miller Lite at the time, which (along with Gallo wine) is what I drink when I just don’t care anymore. It’s been my default beer since college. I’ve moved away from it in recent years but it is still what I drink when I don’t want anything fancy or even good. It’s the beer you drink when you just want a beer.)
Not much else of note out there in the world. I mean, other than Brittney removing her bra from an Ebay auction for charity. There is a joke in there somewhere, I’m just not sure where. Plus, we have the potential bird flu pandemic. I did like learning that on vacation Bush read a book on the 1918 flu outbreak and thus is really up in arms about bird flu. I don’t know what is more shocking, the fact that he is actually trying to make some sound preparations or that he actually read a book. (Yeah, I’m not bitter about last November or anything.)
Ok, I’ll try to be awake when I write tomorrow. That said, writing while dreaming might actually be an improvement.
I caught most of the White Sox game before I went to check out Sleater-Kinney. I’m not that surprised that they lost. They had won eight straight and it’s always tough coming back from not playing. I know everyone was harping on the Angels playing in three cities in three days but I think that is easier than having three days off and suddenly playing playoff baseball again. I still have hope for the series. Definitely wasn’t expecting a sweep here.
The more interesting story is about what happened to me while I was at the bar watching the game. Ordered a beer and had a woman come up to me questioning my beer choice. I can see that she is wearing a Budweiser jacket and I’ve been around long enough to know that she is a Bud spokesperson who will try to get me to switch beer orders to a Bud product. Which I steadfastly refuse to do. When she asks what I have against Budweiser I answer simply, “I just hate St. Louis”, which made the bartender crack up. She didn’t bother me much after that comment.
(Full disclosure: I was drinking Miller Lite at the time, which (along with Gallo wine) is what I drink when I just don’t care anymore. It’s been my default beer since college. I’ve moved away from it in recent years but it is still what I drink when I don’t want anything fancy or even good. It’s the beer you drink when you just want a beer.)
Not much else of note out there in the world. I mean, other than Brittney removing her bra from an Ebay auction for charity. There is a joke in there somewhere, I’m just not sure where. Plus, we have the potential bird flu pandemic. I did like learning that on vacation Bush read a book on the 1918 flu outbreak and thus is really up in arms about bird flu. I don’t know what is more shocking, the fact that he is actually trying to make some sound preparations or that he actually read a book. (Yeah, I’m not bitter about last November or anything.)
Ok, I’ll try to be awake when I write tomorrow. That said, writing while dreaming might actually be an improvement.
Monday, October 10, 2005
More concert notes
Had a bunch of random thoughts from this weekend that I couldn’t fit into last night’s posting. Here they are.
1) This was my first trip to Columbia and I have to say that it is a rather nice little campus town. Seemed to have a number of really neat stores and a cool vibe to the place. That was a very pleasant surprise. What amazes me is that somehow the Universities of Missouri and Kansas somehow have a cooler, more alternative campus than the University of Illinois. I mean, we had like two coffee shops for a school of 34,000 students. I know that I haven’t been back in ten years and for all I know they have this huge goth scene now but man, you can tell what happens when your campus is run by engineers. All you have are bars. And computer shops. And comic book stores. Really, really good comic book stores.
2) I won’t even get into South Bend as a campus town. It doesn’t really apply. The entire point of the Notre Dame campus is that you should never have to leave the campus. Thus, you just can’t compare it to anything else.
3) This was my first trip on I-70 east of Royals stadium (yeah, I don’t know if that should be a point of pride or not). Like any trip through the Midwest you discover one constant on the road, billboards for adult bookstores. I think it is a law that every ten miles you have to see a sign that says “Porn: next exit.” When you drive past one of those places during the day you see that it is some decrepit trailer and you come to the realization that you’ll probably need a shot of penicillin just for pulling into the parking lot. But when you drive past one of those places at two in the morning you realize that they are truly one of your first stops after parole. You don’t even want to imagine who has decided to stop in to browse.
4) When I was waiting outside the club in Columbia I was given a survey by the club to fill out. They were trying to improve their customer experience and alter the way they book bans. While filling it out I saw one question that read, “How far did you travel”, wrote down 120 miles and said to the person giving the survey “I am so going to screw up your averages.”
5) For the record, I watched the White Sox win Game 3 at Harpo’s in Columbia. Then, after a celebratory beer I hung out with some Red Sox fans at the Son Volt show. I know it is bad form to gloat but oh my God, the White Sox actually won a playoff series. For the first time in generations. This isn’t gloating, this is wondering if the fabric of the universe is about to be torn asunder.
6) Walking around Lawrence on Saturday I saw much to my surprise that every other person was holding a red balloon. I consider this to be yet another sign that I should probably cut back on the absinthe.
7) Oh, and on a comment from last week. Of course I’ve already purchased the “Nobody reads my blog” t-shirt. I know a conversation starter when I see one. Plus, it is a little less nerdy than “I was young. I needed the gold pieces.”
1) This was my first trip to Columbia and I have to say that it is a rather nice little campus town. Seemed to have a number of really neat stores and a cool vibe to the place. That was a very pleasant surprise. What amazes me is that somehow the Universities of Missouri and Kansas somehow have a cooler, more alternative campus than the University of Illinois. I mean, we had like two coffee shops for a school of 34,000 students. I know that I haven’t been back in ten years and for all I know they have this huge goth scene now but man, you can tell what happens when your campus is run by engineers. All you have are bars. And computer shops. And comic book stores. Really, really good comic book stores.
2) I won’t even get into South Bend as a campus town. It doesn’t really apply. The entire point of the Notre Dame campus is that you should never have to leave the campus. Thus, you just can’t compare it to anything else.
3) This was my first trip on I-70 east of Royals stadium (yeah, I don’t know if that should be a point of pride or not). Like any trip through the Midwest you discover one constant on the road, billboards for adult bookstores. I think it is a law that every ten miles you have to see a sign that says “Porn: next exit.” When you drive past one of those places during the day you see that it is some decrepit trailer and you come to the realization that you’ll probably need a shot of penicillin just for pulling into the parking lot. But when you drive past one of those places at two in the morning you realize that they are truly one of your first stops after parole. You don’t even want to imagine who has decided to stop in to browse.
4) When I was waiting outside the club in Columbia I was given a survey by the club to fill out. They were trying to improve their customer experience and alter the way they book bans. While filling it out I saw one question that read, “How far did you travel”, wrote down 120 miles and said to the person giving the survey “I am so going to screw up your averages.”
5) For the record, I watched the White Sox win Game 3 at Harpo’s in Columbia. Then, after a celebratory beer I hung out with some Red Sox fans at the Son Volt show. I know it is bad form to gloat but oh my God, the White Sox actually won a playoff series. For the first time in generations. This isn’t gloating, this is wondering if the fabric of the universe is about to be torn asunder.
6) Walking around Lawrence on Saturday I saw much to my surprise that every other person was holding a red balloon. I consider this to be yet another sign that I should probably cut back on the absinthe.
7) Oh, and on a comment from last week. Of course I’ve already purchased the “Nobody reads my blog” t-shirt. I know a conversation starter when I see one. Plus, it is a little less nerdy than “I was young. I needed the gold pieces.”
Sunday, October 09, 2005
The world waits for you
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine about music. Actually, the conversation was the differences in our music fandoms as evidenced by our CD collections. She is an actual musician who is the type to form impromptu bluegrass bands and loves playing music and listening to bands but has a CD collection that could fit on a small bookshelf. I, on the other hand, can barely remember how to read sheet music and have a CD collection that requires my apartment to have a reinforced floor along with the fact that I cart around my tape collection even though I don’t actually own a cassette player anymore. She asked me a very good question, “Why in the world do you buy so much music?”
I didn’t have a very good answer to that question then and I don’t have a better one now. All I can say is that after the past two days I know why I live my life the way I do. Because otherwise I would never have experiences like this.
I took Friday off from work, which isn’t a big story in and of itself. I mean, a lot of people take three day weekends. But I had a really specific purpose for my day off. I drove to Columbia, Missouri in order to see Son Volt in concert. This means that I was willing to drive two hours one way to see a band that a) I’ve already seen this year and b) was actually playing two blocks from my apartment the next day. But logic really wasn’t going to apply here given that Jay Farrar is one of the few people I consider to be my idol. There was no way I was going to miss a chance to see him play live. Plus, it gave me a chance to see all of those towns that I only know exist through weather reports like Boonville and Grain Valley.
It was just a spot on show. While this edition of Son Volt isn’t the same as the one in 1995 they still put on a great set. Played basically every song that is on their latest album but also went back into the catalog for music over the past decade. Jay still amazes me with his playing style in that he does not show any emotion on stage. None. He just stands there, plays guitar without any grandstanding and sings all of these passionate, heartfelt lyrics. I don’t know how he does it. I’m jumping around in the crowd listening to these songs, I don’t know how you could play them without pogoing the entire time. The easy highlight for me was getting to hear the last song. There are about a dozen things that I want to experience in my life and getting to hear Jay Farrar play “Chickamauga” takes care of about five of them.
After making the drive home Friday night (and oh boy, is it fun driving through western Missouri at two in the morning) I rested up in order to make my way to Lawrence on Saturday night for a show that somehow topped Son Volt. You knew it was going to be a good show from the moment Josh Ritter took the stage to open the show. Josh, who is just a guy from Idaho when you get down to it, had a smile on his face that you couldn’t take off with a jackhammer. This was a guy who was just so damn happy to know that he had the chance to play his songs on a Saturday night. It didn’t matter that it was in a half-filled club in the middle of Kansas, there wasn’t anything that could take him away from this moment. He just put on a great set, there have been a lot of comments about his music comparing him to Dylan and while that is a bit of hyperbole (as in basically any decent songwriter with an acoustic guitar gets compared to Dylan) he had an awful lot of really good songs. And his mood was just infectious.
Then it was time for The Frames to take the stage.
There is no one on this planet who could convince me that there is a band out there who is better live than The Frames. They don’t exist. No one can touch the energy and humor and power that this band puts on stage. From the moment they came on stage saying “Hi, were The Frames and were from Ireland” and then immediately went into “Keepsake” (a song about breaking your key in the lock and setting your house on fire) to ending the final encore with “Star, Star”, a song that segues into a Willy Wonka number at odd intervals, they had the crowd in the palm of their hands.
It’s always tough for me to describe seeing shows because while a music critic will talk about what they played and how they sound I find that to be incredibly boring. The reason I listen to music and the reason why I buy so many CDs is because at its core, I am searching for albums that make my life understandable and The Frames have been that for me. Back in February, when absolutely nothing was making sense and I was seriously wondering how I would get through the day sometimes, I always knew that I could put on “Burn the Maps” and somehow the world would be better. So as I was standing in front of the stage, singing along to every song, I wasn’t trying to figure out the cultural significance of each number or determining who had influenced the band’s style. I was celebrating the sheer fact that I am alive and have somehow created a life where I can discover this band from Dublin that no one has ever heard of and have them change my life.
When the show ended all of us in the crowd just kind of looked at each other and went “Wow.” We all knew that this was an incredible moment that so few people get to experience. It’s the type where you left the club feeling like you should go out and benchpress cars or something, there is just so much energy in you from that moment. It is proof of what you can accomplish when you are passionate for what you do in life.
You can make an argument that I spend too much money on music. That I travel too far to go to concerts of bands that no one has ever heard of where it ends up being just me in front of the stage. It probably isn’t future executive behavior or even proper adult behavior. But I wouldn’t trade anything for the chance to see a band like The Frames from the foot of the stage. It’s moments like that which make life special, which prevent you from having to live that pedestrian life. Music is my route to those moments. Who could find fault in that?
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Smashing Pumpkins “Siamese Dreams”
2) John Wesley Harding “Awake”
3) Ben Folds Five “Whatever and Ever Amen”
4) The Connells “Ring”
5) Maggie Walters “Maggie Walters”
I didn’t have a very good answer to that question then and I don’t have a better one now. All I can say is that after the past two days I know why I live my life the way I do. Because otherwise I would never have experiences like this.
I took Friday off from work, which isn’t a big story in and of itself. I mean, a lot of people take three day weekends. But I had a really specific purpose for my day off. I drove to Columbia, Missouri in order to see Son Volt in concert. This means that I was willing to drive two hours one way to see a band that a) I’ve already seen this year and b) was actually playing two blocks from my apartment the next day. But logic really wasn’t going to apply here given that Jay Farrar is one of the few people I consider to be my idol. There was no way I was going to miss a chance to see him play live. Plus, it gave me a chance to see all of those towns that I only know exist through weather reports like Boonville and Grain Valley.
It was just a spot on show. While this edition of Son Volt isn’t the same as the one in 1995 they still put on a great set. Played basically every song that is on their latest album but also went back into the catalog for music over the past decade. Jay still amazes me with his playing style in that he does not show any emotion on stage. None. He just stands there, plays guitar without any grandstanding and sings all of these passionate, heartfelt lyrics. I don’t know how he does it. I’m jumping around in the crowd listening to these songs, I don’t know how you could play them without pogoing the entire time. The easy highlight for me was getting to hear the last song. There are about a dozen things that I want to experience in my life and getting to hear Jay Farrar play “Chickamauga” takes care of about five of them.
After making the drive home Friday night (and oh boy, is it fun driving through western Missouri at two in the morning) I rested up in order to make my way to Lawrence on Saturday night for a show that somehow topped Son Volt. You knew it was going to be a good show from the moment Josh Ritter took the stage to open the show. Josh, who is just a guy from Idaho when you get down to it, had a smile on his face that you couldn’t take off with a jackhammer. This was a guy who was just so damn happy to know that he had the chance to play his songs on a Saturday night. It didn’t matter that it was in a half-filled club in the middle of Kansas, there wasn’t anything that could take him away from this moment. He just put on a great set, there have been a lot of comments about his music comparing him to Dylan and while that is a bit of hyperbole (as in basically any decent songwriter with an acoustic guitar gets compared to Dylan) he had an awful lot of really good songs. And his mood was just infectious.
Then it was time for The Frames to take the stage.
There is no one on this planet who could convince me that there is a band out there who is better live than The Frames. They don’t exist. No one can touch the energy and humor and power that this band puts on stage. From the moment they came on stage saying “Hi, were The Frames and were from Ireland” and then immediately went into “Keepsake” (a song about breaking your key in the lock and setting your house on fire) to ending the final encore with “Star, Star”, a song that segues into a Willy Wonka number at odd intervals, they had the crowd in the palm of their hands.
It’s always tough for me to describe seeing shows because while a music critic will talk about what they played and how they sound I find that to be incredibly boring. The reason I listen to music and the reason why I buy so many CDs is because at its core, I am searching for albums that make my life understandable and The Frames have been that for me. Back in February, when absolutely nothing was making sense and I was seriously wondering how I would get through the day sometimes, I always knew that I could put on “Burn the Maps” and somehow the world would be better. So as I was standing in front of the stage, singing along to every song, I wasn’t trying to figure out the cultural significance of each number or determining who had influenced the band’s style. I was celebrating the sheer fact that I am alive and have somehow created a life where I can discover this band from Dublin that no one has ever heard of and have them change my life.
When the show ended all of us in the crowd just kind of looked at each other and went “Wow.” We all knew that this was an incredible moment that so few people get to experience. It’s the type where you left the club feeling like you should go out and benchpress cars or something, there is just so much energy in you from that moment. It is proof of what you can accomplish when you are passionate for what you do in life.
You can make an argument that I spend too much money on music. That I travel too far to go to concerts of bands that no one has ever heard of where it ends up being just me in front of the stage. It probably isn’t future executive behavior or even proper adult behavior. But I wouldn’t trade anything for the chance to see a band like The Frames from the foot of the stage. It’s moments like that which make life special, which prevent you from having to live that pedestrian life. Music is my route to those moments. Who could find fault in that?
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Smashing Pumpkins “Siamese Dreams”
2) John Wesley Harding “Awake”
3) Ben Folds Five “Whatever and Ever Amen”
4) The Connells “Ring”
5) Maggie Walters “Maggie Walters”
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Never been in a trivia riot...
(Found out something today that now makes it perfectly reasonable why I fell in love with Katherine the keyboardist/singer from the Immaculate Machine. She is, in her spare time, an art student at the University of Victoria in that lovely 51st state of Canada. A Canadian art student who plays music. Yeah, that pretty much hits every note that I am looking for in the world.)
This evening was a pretty momentous occasion for me. After years of careful consideration, I finally gave up my amateur standing in the world of trivia contests. Yep, I played for some serious coin tonight. Thanks to the Pitch, I found out that a bar near me was doing trivia contests on Thursday nights. I figure that I had nothing better to do, got there, joined up as a team with a few random people, paid my five bucks, and entered the world of high stakes Kansas City trivia.
Since I was with people I didn’t technically know, I decided to fall back on the Cobra Kai name for our team. I know, that was a complete cop out but I couldn’t bring myself to have total strangers be a part of “Dr. Wang and his Medical Staff.” The contest went well. I got big points for knowing who played Herman Munster (Fred Gwyne) but screwed up on the fact that they hadn’t awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature yet. I made up for our mistakes on the final question by correctly answering that the new supreme court nominee went to SMU (thus making her the third most famous SMU alumni, behind the Pony Express backfield of Eric Dickerson and Craig James.)
That had us end up in second place, earning enough money to pay off my bar tab. All in all, would have to consider that a good night. Anytime I can use worthless knowledge for free drinks is good enough for me. Sure, I am now ineligible for the Olympics but I figure that once the endorsement contracts start rolling in, things will be worthwhile.
Ok, before I call it a night, I have the cool website for the week. As some of you know, I am now one of those guys who wear the cool, alternative t-shirts. But, I try everything possible to not look like I shop at Urban Outfitters. Everyone also knows that I am (regrettably) a computer gamer who grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons. Hence, I think everyone should visit the wonder of www.jinx.com. They have the absolute coolest t-shirts around. If you are a gamer, or have ever thought of being a gamer, this site is for you. I’m beginning to have my paycheck direct deposited to their account.
This evening was a pretty momentous occasion for me. After years of careful consideration, I finally gave up my amateur standing in the world of trivia contests. Yep, I played for some serious coin tonight. Thanks to the Pitch, I found out that a bar near me was doing trivia contests on Thursday nights. I figure that I had nothing better to do, got there, joined up as a team with a few random people, paid my five bucks, and entered the world of high stakes Kansas City trivia.
Since I was with people I didn’t technically know, I decided to fall back on the Cobra Kai name for our team. I know, that was a complete cop out but I couldn’t bring myself to have total strangers be a part of “Dr. Wang and his Medical Staff.” The contest went well. I got big points for knowing who played Herman Munster (Fred Gwyne) but screwed up on the fact that they hadn’t awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature yet. I made up for our mistakes on the final question by correctly answering that the new supreme court nominee went to SMU (thus making her the third most famous SMU alumni, behind the Pony Express backfield of Eric Dickerson and Craig James.)
That had us end up in second place, earning enough money to pay off my bar tab. All in all, would have to consider that a good night. Anytime I can use worthless knowledge for free drinks is good enough for me. Sure, I am now ineligible for the Olympics but I figure that once the endorsement contracts start rolling in, things will be worthwhile.
Ok, before I call it a night, I have the cool website for the week. As some of you know, I am now one of those guys who wear the cool, alternative t-shirts. But, I try everything possible to not look like I shop at Urban Outfitters. Everyone also knows that I am (regrettably) a computer gamer who grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons. Hence, I think everyone should visit the wonder of www.jinx.com. They have the absolute coolest t-shirts around. If you are a gamer, or have ever thought of being a gamer, this site is for you. I’m beginning to have my paycheck direct deposited to their account.
Rock and roll revival
I’ve got a lot of material to cover and it’s extremely late and I am still bouncing off the walls from this evening so I’ll try to make this as sensible as I can.
I went back on Ticketmaster to see what it would cost me to see Stryper. For those interested in spending their Wednesday night in Kansas City with the world’s first Christian heavy metal band you will be pleased to know that this experience will cost you $19 (of course, that is prior to Ticketmaster surcharges and event fees). $19? I really want to know what else comes with that. I mean, if I’m paying $19 to see Stryper on a Wednesday I better be given the opportunity to be the drummer for at least one song. I seriously wonder what the crowd will be for a show like this. The only people who know who the band is are guys like me and we’re old now and even the ironic nostalgia probably isn’t enough to make us show up.
In much better concert news, I just came back from the New Pornographers show, featuring the lovely and talented Neko Case. A great set from probably one of the best power pop bands around today. Don’t be scared off by the name (taken from Jimmy Swaggert’s quote “Rock and roll is the new pornography), this Canadian supergroup (critic’s term, not mine) has put out some great music over the past few years. Definitely give them a listen.
The biggest surprise was the opening act Immaculate Machine, which put on a really neat set. Highlighted by the keyboardist/vocalist Katherine who I… ok, I think I fell in love with her during the opening set. And then she came out to play with the New Pornographers and well, despite the fact that I thought this was technically impossible, she got me to take my eyes off of Neko Case. Remember Neko is ranked fourth on my perfect mate list, was named by Esquire magazine as a Woman We Love, and is probably in the top three of most beautiful women that I have actually had a conversation with. To divert my attention from her is quite a feat. I can’t even tell you why, I just liked her look and her red hair and her eyes. I have a feeling that she is going to be showing up in one of my stories someday.
Another story from Lawrence. I feel that much of your life can be defined by the opportunities that you missed. Steps you know that you could have taken but you hesitated and now those doors are closed to you. This happened to me as I walked down Mass Street only to discover that the Extreme Christian Clothing store has gone out of business. Yes, the place that I have been meaning to review for months closed before I could ever step foot inside the fine establishment. One of my goals in life is to live every day without regret but I have a feeling that when I am old and gray I will look back on this and know that for this one instance, I missed my goal.
(It is being replaced by a tattoo parlor. I swear, if I could be as creative as the world naturally is my novel would sell like hotcakes.)
Oh, and those cheers you heard this evening from me and a few fellow White Sox fans in BW3, watching the Sox maintain home field advantage. This game gives the White Sox their first chance to win a playoff series since 1917. Given that history, I will state that I am mildly confident of our chances. The big thing is the way they came back from four runs down to win this game. It just shows that they will not just roll over and die. This is when we start to think that maybe, just maybe, life might go our way.
I went back on Ticketmaster to see what it would cost me to see Stryper. For those interested in spending their Wednesday night in Kansas City with the world’s first Christian heavy metal band you will be pleased to know that this experience will cost you $19 (of course, that is prior to Ticketmaster surcharges and event fees). $19? I really want to know what else comes with that. I mean, if I’m paying $19 to see Stryper on a Wednesday I better be given the opportunity to be the drummer for at least one song. I seriously wonder what the crowd will be for a show like this. The only people who know who the band is are guys like me and we’re old now and even the ironic nostalgia probably isn’t enough to make us show up.
In much better concert news, I just came back from the New Pornographers show, featuring the lovely and talented Neko Case. A great set from probably one of the best power pop bands around today. Don’t be scared off by the name (taken from Jimmy Swaggert’s quote “Rock and roll is the new pornography), this Canadian supergroup (critic’s term, not mine) has put out some great music over the past few years. Definitely give them a listen.
The biggest surprise was the opening act Immaculate Machine, which put on a really neat set. Highlighted by the keyboardist/vocalist Katherine who I… ok, I think I fell in love with her during the opening set. And then she came out to play with the New Pornographers and well, despite the fact that I thought this was technically impossible, she got me to take my eyes off of Neko Case. Remember Neko is ranked fourth on my perfect mate list, was named by Esquire magazine as a Woman We Love, and is probably in the top three of most beautiful women that I have actually had a conversation with. To divert my attention from her is quite a feat. I can’t even tell you why, I just liked her look and her red hair and her eyes. I have a feeling that she is going to be showing up in one of my stories someday.
Another story from Lawrence. I feel that much of your life can be defined by the opportunities that you missed. Steps you know that you could have taken but you hesitated and now those doors are closed to you. This happened to me as I walked down Mass Street only to discover that the Extreme Christian Clothing store has gone out of business. Yes, the place that I have been meaning to review for months closed before I could ever step foot inside the fine establishment. One of my goals in life is to live every day without regret but I have a feeling that when I am old and gray I will look back on this and know that for this one instance, I missed my goal.
(It is being replaced by a tattoo parlor. I swear, if I could be as creative as the world naturally is my novel would sell like hotcakes.)
Oh, and those cheers you heard this evening from me and a few fellow White Sox fans in BW3, watching the Sox maintain home field advantage. This game gives the White Sox their first chance to win a playoff series since 1917. Given that history, I will state that I am mildly confident of our chances. The big thing is the way they came back from four runs down to win this game. It just shows that they will not just roll over and die. This is when we start to think that maybe, just maybe, life might go our way.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Retro Nation
Hitting to all fields today…
1) Yes, that was me giving out a cheer in my cubicle when A.J. hit the home run in the first inning to put the White Sox up 5-0. Look, it’s not my fault that they scheduled a Sox playoff game during the day. You have to understand, this is the Sox first playoff victory since I was a sophomore in college (and even more incredible, it is their first home playoff victory since I was a negative fourteen years old). Moments like this come once in a lifetime for a Chicagoan so we savor them while we can.
2) I have to give Burger King credit for just having the courage to produce their latest offering. The “Meatnormous Omelet” As the commercial states “It is meat piled on top of meat piled on top of meat” with a generous helping of eggs. You have to give props to a company that goes “Screw all this health conscious bull. Here is a big old heap of meat and eggs. Eat it and try not to have a heart attack while you’re still in the drive thru lane.”
3) On the fast food front, I heard another classic Johnson County commercial today on the radio. A good one minute spot highlighting the grand reopening of the KenTacoHut. First of all, I love the premise of the KenTacoHut, a shop for those among us who can’t decide between Chicken, Mexican or Pizza. It also gives you a sense of just what preparation is actually needed in the back room, given that you can serve all three concepts in the same store. But what amazes me is that we are celebrating the Grand Reopening. It’s a fast food restaurant. It’s not like I’ve never seen one before. How does this qualify as a celebration? And why in the world is it something that needs a commercial in afternoon drive time?
4) Back to the Jem and the Holograms discussion from earlier in the week (and yes, it amazes me that while the blog readership is probably amongst the most educated people in the country we will spend days discussing old cartoon shows), I don’t think that I’d like to be remembered as the signing voice of Jem. The songs were never that good. And wasn’t Jem like her alter ego, as if being a teen idol was equivalent to being a super-hero. Talk about a flawed premise from the 80’s.
5) And speaking of flawed premises from the 80’s, the absolute coolest concert is in KC next Wednesday, just blocks from my apartment. I am talking of course about the triumphant return of Stryper. Yes, the original Christian metal band is back. I am so tempted to go to this show just to see what type of crowd they draw. Honestly, it could just be a bunch of people going, “You guys are still alive?”
6) Oh, and while I’m on the 80’s subject matter I did see that VH-1 is going to do another I Love the 80’s special in two weeks. Normally, I would consider that a waste of programming time. Then I remembered that it was VH-1 and really, nothing could be considered a waste on that network. Instead, much like I’ve done for the Oscars, expect a full play-by-play of I Love the 80’s. It’ll be nostalgia-rific.
7) One last note. I caught a bit of “How I Met Your Mother” last night and I liked it enough that I’ll have to start watching the show. Not only does it have Willow from Buffy (always a plus in my book) but it also stars Doogie Howser. That alone is enough to get my attention. However, I am nervous about watching sitcoms on CBS. I mean, I’ll start watching this and then I’ll suddenly start to find The King of Queens to be funny and next thing you know I’ll basically be dead inside. So let’s just say that I will be proceeding with caution.
1) Yes, that was me giving out a cheer in my cubicle when A.J. hit the home run in the first inning to put the White Sox up 5-0. Look, it’s not my fault that they scheduled a Sox playoff game during the day. You have to understand, this is the Sox first playoff victory since I was a sophomore in college (and even more incredible, it is their first home playoff victory since I was a negative fourteen years old). Moments like this come once in a lifetime for a Chicagoan so we savor them while we can.
2) I have to give Burger King credit for just having the courage to produce their latest offering. The “Meatnormous Omelet” As the commercial states “It is meat piled on top of meat piled on top of meat” with a generous helping of eggs. You have to give props to a company that goes “Screw all this health conscious bull. Here is a big old heap of meat and eggs. Eat it and try not to have a heart attack while you’re still in the drive thru lane.”
3) On the fast food front, I heard another classic Johnson County commercial today on the radio. A good one minute spot highlighting the grand reopening of the KenTacoHut. First of all, I love the premise of the KenTacoHut, a shop for those among us who can’t decide between Chicken, Mexican or Pizza. It also gives you a sense of just what preparation is actually needed in the back room, given that you can serve all three concepts in the same store. But what amazes me is that we are celebrating the Grand Reopening. It’s a fast food restaurant. It’s not like I’ve never seen one before. How does this qualify as a celebration? And why in the world is it something that needs a commercial in afternoon drive time?
4) Back to the Jem and the Holograms discussion from earlier in the week (and yes, it amazes me that while the blog readership is probably amongst the most educated people in the country we will spend days discussing old cartoon shows), I don’t think that I’d like to be remembered as the signing voice of Jem. The songs were never that good. And wasn’t Jem like her alter ego, as if being a teen idol was equivalent to being a super-hero. Talk about a flawed premise from the 80’s.
5) And speaking of flawed premises from the 80’s, the absolute coolest concert is in KC next Wednesday, just blocks from my apartment. I am talking of course about the triumphant return of Stryper. Yes, the original Christian metal band is back. I am so tempted to go to this show just to see what type of crowd they draw. Honestly, it could just be a bunch of people going, “You guys are still alive?”
6) Oh, and while I’m on the 80’s subject matter I did see that VH-1 is going to do another I Love the 80’s special in two weeks. Normally, I would consider that a waste of programming time. Then I remembered that it was VH-1 and really, nothing could be considered a waste on that network. Instead, much like I’ve done for the Oscars, expect a full play-by-play of I Love the 80’s. It’ll be nostalgia-rific.
7) One last note. I caught a bit of “How I Met Your Mother” last night and I liked it enough that I’ll have to start watching the show. Not only does it have Willow from Buffy (always a plus in my book) but it also stars Doogie Howser. That alone is enough to get my attention. However, I am nervous about watching sitcoms on CBS. I mean, I’ll start watching this and then I’ll suddenly start to find The King of Queens to be funny and next thing you know I’ll basically be dead inside. So let’s just say that I will be proceeding with caution.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Auto Maniacal
Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed. Today was one of those days.
I woke up this morning and was feeling rather chipper. I mean, I took the weekend off from some of my less desirous activities so I was well rested and ready to attack the workweek. Sure, there wasn’t the happy walking music going on in the background but things were fine. To put it nicely, while I didn’t get dressed thinking “My life is perfect” I was definitely thinking “My life doesn’t suck.”
Got to my car and did my usual Monday morning ritual. Throw the five random CDs on the passenger seat. Throw my briefcase on the backseat. Pulled onto my driveway and I had a feeling that something was amiss. The first idea was the fact that it sounded like I was dragging a large object behind me. The second thing to catch my attention was the fact that my car was listing to the left much more than normal. Stopped the car, got out, and discovered my left front tire was flat. (Full disclosure, it had looked low for three months and I never bothered to get it checked out. Like I’ve always said, a lot of people have called me smart over the years but no one has ever called me intelligent.)
So, I pull back into my garage, go back to my apartment and change from dress casual to shorts and a t-shirt, and start pulling out the spare and the jack. Then the following thoughts enter my mind: 1) I’m an engineer, I can handle this, 2) Actually, I’m an electrical engineer and have no training in this side of the field, 3) I’ve never changed a tire by myself before, 4) There is a very high probability that I will injure either myself or the car in the process, and 5) There is an auto shop three blocks from my apartment that can help me out. I decide that step 5 is the prudent course of action and walk down to the shop, talk to the owner, and figure that there is enough air in the tire to be able to drive it to the shop. Which I do and they patch it up while I go and get a cup of coffee across the street from a barista with dyed red hair wearing a Rainbow Brite t-shirt. Talking to her was easily the highlight of my day.
I get the tire patched and I figure that I’m late for work but not that late. I’m pretty proud of myself, as I figured out the quickest solution to the problem. Get to the office, park my car and tell myself that I’ll go and check on the car over lunch just to make sure that everything is ok. Of course, get caught up in a project and don’t make it back to my car until six o’clock as I’m leaving work. From about thirty yards away I look at my car and I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach that you get when you realize that you have walked into a bad situation and every step is only going to make things worse.
Left front tire: flat. Left rear tire: flat. On the plus side, at least this time I don’t need to worry about mucking about with the spare. After swearing up a storm I make the executive decision that there is just enough air in the tires to get me across the street to a Goodyear shop. Which when I get there I was stunned to find was still open for an hour (it is one of maybe three places in Johnson County that does not close at six in the evening). They check it over and figure out that my left front has a puncture in the sidewall and can’t be patched (a fact that I should probably tell the first shop) and the left rear has a leak all around and could be patched but probably shouldn’t be. I figure that three flats in one day is enough and pick up two new tires.
(They weren’t sure why both left sides failed at the same time. I’m pretty sure it is a sympathetic failure. When the front failed it put a lot more pressure on the rear, which probably already had a problem but got exasperated when I decided to drive with a flat tire. Oh well, both needed to be fixed anyway.)
Anyway, I was able to get my car fixed before the shop closed and everything appears to be all right. I checked a few minutes ago and all four tires are still inflated and I can only hope that they will stay that way in the morning. As much as I might complain, I’m just happy about where the problem occurred. I can deal with things from home or from work. It would be much worse if this happened last week and I was at the airport. Sometimes you should be happy that bad things happen at good times.
I woke up this morning and was feeling rather chipper. I mean, I took the weekend off from some of my less desirous activities so I was well rested and ready to attack the workweek. Sure, there wasn’t the happy walking music going on in the background but things were fine. To put it nicely, while I didn’t get dressed thinking “My life is perfect” I was definitely thinking “My life doesn’t suck.”
Got to my car and did my usual Monday morning ritual. Throw the five random CDs on the passenger seat. Throw my briefcase on the backseat. Pulled onto my driveway and I had a feeling that something was amiss. The first idea was the fact that it sounded like I was dragging a large object behind me. The second thing to catch my attention was the fact that my car was listing to the left much more than normal. Stopped the car, got out, and discovered my left front tire was flat. (Full disclosure, it had looked low for three months and I never bothered to get it checked out. Like I’ve always said, a lot of people have called me smart over the years but no one has ever called me intelligent.)
So, I pull back into my garage, go back to my apartment and change from dress casual to shorts and a t-shirt, and start pulling out the spare and the jack. Then the following thoughts enter my mind: 1) I’m an engineer, I can handle this, 2) Actually, I’m an electrical engineer and have no training in this side of the field, 3) I’ve never changed a tire by myself before, 4) There is a very high probability that I will injure either myself or the car in the process, and 5) There is an auto shop three blocks from my apartment that can help me out. I decide that step 5 is the prudent course of action and walk down to the shop, talk to the owner, and figure that there is enough air in the tire to be able to drive it to the shop. Which I do and they patch it up while I go and get a cup of coffee across the street from a barista with dyed red hair wearing a Rainbow Brite t-shirt. Talking to her was easily the highlight of my day.
I get the tire patched and I figure that I’m late for work but not that late. I’m pretty proud of myself, as I figured out the quickest solution to the problem. Get to the office, park my car and tell myself that I’ll go and check on the car over lunch just to make sure that everything is ok. Of course, get caught up in a project and don’t make it back to my car until six o’clock as I’m leaving work. From about thirty yards away I look at my car and I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach that you get when you realize that you have walked into a bad situation and every step is only going to make things worse.
Left front tire: flat. Left rear tire: flat. On the plus side, at least this time I don’t need to worry about mucking about with the spare. After swearing up a storm I make the executive decision that there is just enough air in the tires to get me across the street to a Goodyear shop. Which when I get there I was stunned to find was still open for an hour (it is one of maybe three places in Johnson County that does not close at six in the evening). They check it over and figure out that my left front has a puncture in the sidewall and can’t be patched (a fact that I should probably tell the first shop) and the left rear has a leak all around and could be patched but probably shouldn’t be. I figure that three flats in one day is enough and pick up two new tires.
(They weren’t sure why both left sides failed at the same time. I’m pretty sure it is a sympathetic failure. When the front failed it put a lot more pressure on the rear, which probably already had a problem but got exasperated when I decided to drive with a flat tire. Oh well, both needed to be fixed anyway.)
Anyway, I was able to get my car fixed before the shop closed and everything appears to be all right. I checked a few minutes ago and all four tires are still inflated and I can only hope that they will stay that way in the morning. As much as I might complain, I’m just happy about where the problem occurred. I can deal with things from home or from work. It would be much worse if this happened last week and I was at the airport. Sometimes you should be happy that bad things happen at good times.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Age Awareness
(On the last comment: I’ve heard of Jem but I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard her sing. Point of clarification: I’m not talking about the “totally outrageous” cartoon character from the 80’s and please God explain to me why I have brain cells dedicated to that piece of knowledge. Anyway, everything I’ve heard about her is good but I don’t know if I want to listen to a more upbeat Beth Orton. I like Beth pretty much the way she is, I’d just like her to tour middle America a little more often.)
Well, after the shenanigans of last weekend (which included showing up at a bar ten hours from where I live at eleven A.M. for a 2:30 kickoff that was taking place on the other side of the country from the bar I was at) I basically decided to take this weekend off. I think that is one of those definite signs that you are getting old. When you start self-rationalizing that “You know, I hit it pretty hard last weekend and I’ve got a ton of shows to hit next week, so I’m just going to lay low this weekend and watch pro wrestling DVDs. On average, that will leave me with a pretty active social life.” That’s basically the way my mind was working. Plus, it was raining hard after the ND game and I didn’t feel like walking out in the rain. Yep, I’m getting old.
Here is the other sign that I am really beginning to age. Went and got my oil changed today (that’s not the sign. I mean, I was like two months and a thousand miles behind schedule and the change oil light has been on my dashboard since February. I’m still a young idiot in that regard.) While there this guy comes in with his two kids, who can’t be more than three years old. And these kids were just some of the cutest, funniest things that you could ever see. I mean, when you can make me smile in a waiting room, you’re a pretty funny kid. As I left I thought to myself, “You know, I got to get me some of those.”
Hold on a minute…
(Slaps self in head)
Good, that should put the biological clock on snooze for a few more minutes. But if you need an example of knowing that you are not twenty three anymore, that is one of them. Over the past few months I really have started to feel like I should be an adult now and settle down and start a family and start worrying about my cholesterol. In some ways I’m fully behind my own reasoning and in others, well, I just don’t want to grow old. It’s strange enough being the oldest person at the concert. I’m still young enough that I can pull off the “Don’t worry, I’m a grad student” look, that I’m just cooler than anyone realizes. That’s going to go away in a few years. Then I’ll just be the guy who has stayed at the party a little too long. Like the old hippies you see at some shows, where you just feel like telling them that it is time to move on. I hate knowing that in a few years I’ll have to move on as well.
Oh well, I’ll sum up by answering one of the infrequently asked questions that was posted recently: “Is it better to burn up or fade away?” The answer is burn up, without a question. Whatever you do, don’t go softly into the good night.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) C. J. Chenier “The Big Squeeze”
2) The Mekons “Journey to the End of Night”
3) The Frames “Burn the Maps”
4) Kelly Willis “What I Deserve”
5) Various Artists “Exposed Roots: The Best of Alt. Country” (which was distributed by K-Tel records, I kid you not)
Well, after the shenanigans of last weekend (which included showing up at a bar ten hours from where I live at eleven A.M. for a 2:30 kickoff that was taking place on the other side of the country from the bar I was at) I basically decided to take this weekend off. I think that is one of those definite signs that you are getting old. When you start self-rationalizing that “You know, I hit it pretty hard last weekend and I’ve got a ton of shows to hit next week, so I’m just going to lay low this weekend and watch pro wrestling DVDs. On average, that will leave me with a pretty active social life.” That’s basically the way my mind was working. Plus, it was raining hard after the ND game and I didn’t feel like walking out in the rain. Yep, I’m getting old.
Here is the other sign that I am really beginning to age. Went and got my oil changed today (that’s not the sign. I mean, I was like two months and a thousand miles behind schedule and the change oil light has been on my dashboard since February. I’m still a young idiot in that regard.) While there this guy comes in with his two kids, who can’t be more than three years old. And these kids were just some of the cutest, funniest things that you could ever see. I mean, when you can make me smile in a waiting room, you’re a pretty funny kid. As I left I thought to myself, “You know, I got to get me some of those.”
Hold on a minute…
(Slaps self in head)
Good, that should put the biological clock on snooze for a few more minutes. But if you need an example of knowing that you are not twenty three anymore, that is one of them. Over the past few months I really have started to feel like I should be an adult now and settle down and start a family and start worrying about my cholesterol. In some ways I’m fully behind my own reasoning and in others, well, I just don’t want to grow old. It’s strange enough being the oldest person at the concert. I’m still young enough that I can pull off the “Don’t worry, I’m a grad student” look, that I’m just cooler than anyone realizes. That’s going to go away in a few years. Then I’ll just be the guy who has stayed at the party a little too long. Like the old hippies you see at some shows, where you just feel like telling them that it is time to move on. I hate knowing that in a few years I’ll have to move on as well.
Oh well, I’ll sum up by answering one of the infrequently asked questions that was posted recently: “Is it better to burn up or fade away?” The answer is burn up, without a question. Whatever you do, don’t go softly into the good night.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) C. J. Chenier “The Big Squeeze”
2) The Mekons “Journey to the End of Night”
3) The Frames “Burn the Maps”
4) Kelly Willis “What I Deserve”
5) Various Artists “Exposed Roots: The Best of Alt. Country” (which was distributed by K-Tel records, I kid you not)
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