Cynicism defined...

(“How in the world did you end up in a corn field?”
“You wouldn’t even begin to believe how many times I ask myself that same question.”

Thanks to whoever posted the cool comment Friday night. For the record, I ended up in a corn field as a result of my job. That’s the how part of the question. When I figure out they “why” portion of the answer, I’ll let you know.)

I had an interesting revelation come to me as I was leaving the airport this afternoon. I had just made my back to the western Midwest (or eastern Great Plains, take your pick) after spending the weekend at the Notre Dame-Tennessee game (best t-shirt: “Catholics vs. Clampetts”). Incredibly, what hit me has nothing to do with football or any of the stories that come about from tailgating outside the stadium but they have everything to do with the way people are. And it all stems from this bus ride back to the airport parking lot.

While sitting there waiting for the chance to get back to my car and forcing myself to listen to the rest of that damn Joan Osbourne CD this woman got on the bus and she had that look on her face of someone who was angry. Not angry at a specific event or a person, just angry at the world. You know this type of person? Those people who are so bitter that it permeates their entire existence. You can smell it on them, there is nothing in the world that makes them happy and the only thing that brightens their day is when someone else has something bad happens to them and they feel good because life is better as long as someone else’s life is worse.

Here’s what struck me. A lot of people would consider me to be a cynic. Ok, let’s be honest. I’ve posted about two novels worth of material in the past year that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am at times a cynical bastard. But I don’t think that anyone would ever consider me bitter. I’m definitely not angry at the world or anything. I’m just trained to look at everything with a critical eye and when I look at this planet I’m the type who comes up with the ten point action plan to correct things. I don’t think that I’ve ever looked at anything with hatred, it’s more of a sense of amazement at how stupid people can be and how we can be given a wonderful gift of a nice planet with beauty all around it and free will to appreciate it and basically throw it all away because we are too damn lazy most of the time. I’m not upset at the world, just bewildered.

So while I could definitely be more upbeat (as opposed to trudging along in life like I sometimes do) I do enjoy my view of the world. At the heart of it, I look around and see what this place could be if we all just focused our energy for a little while on the important things. And I get bummed that no one else seems to notice this. That what leads me to be cynical. I’ll never get angry at the world because it always surprises me. How can you go through life angry when you can randomly flip on the radio and catch a Celtic song that you heard at a festival months ago? If happenstance can make you smile, imagine what life could be like if you actually worked at it?

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Blue Mountain “Homegrown”
2) Various Artists “New Orleans Party Classics”
3) Sally Timms “Cowboy Sally”
4) Jump, Little Children “Between the Dim and the Dark”
5) Beth Orton “Best Bit” (Yes! I finally get to listen to Beth Orton while driving to work. This week is going to be awesome.)