Monday, May 27, 2013

Things that confuse me at the moment...

1) That Amanda Bynes a) claims that she did not throw a bong at a cop (it was a vase), b) that her reaction to her mug shot was "I need another nose job and c) we as a society just sit here and watch the train wreck unfold but never do anything about it. I know that as individuals we have no real say in the matter but it would be nice if the editors of Us Weekly would not put her on the cover every week or if everyone would just stop buying Us Weekly. Celebrity culture just continually eats its own tail.

2) That you always seem to need more mulch. We have a new house and have spent nine months working on the landscaping and I swear every week we buy bag after bag of mulch and at the end of the day we look at everything and realize we need one bag more. There has to be some way to estimate what you actually need but damned if I know how.

3) The fact that every new game console that I see out there seems to want to be every possible thing other than a game console. I really don't want to admit that I have reached an age where I've stopped playing video games but I basically have. Not only do all of the controllers have thirty seven buttons and I grew up where we had one button and we liked it but everything is this ultimate internet entertainment device that should theoretically make my life easier but a) would require me to learn another user interface and b) provide me with all of these entertainment options that I have absolutely no time to take advantage of.

4) That Chick-Fil-A still demands to be closed on Sunday. I will never understand how it is God's will that we are unable to have reasonably priced chicken sandwiches with waffle fries one day a week. Settling for KFC is never a good option what with the whole military despot of the colonel behind the whole dasterdly enterprise. It is the only fast food chain with its own military junta.

5) The entire fact that we are in 2013. I remember 1993. I really liked 1993. That was a great year for pretty much everybody. That was twenty years ago. Really good years of your life shouldn't be twenty years ago. Plus, I think the only challenge to the theory of evolution is to look at the decline of popular music over the last twenty years. At least Hootie and the Blowfish have some merit (though while it is nice that Darius Rucker has a hit covering an Old Crow Medicine Show song I have to admit I liked it better when Old Crow was playing it as opposed to fing Hootie.)

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