A new type of pain

I am one of those people who will do anything possible to avoid getting out of painful tasks. I guess it isn’t that unusual. That is why people have dishes in their sinks and wait until April 14th to do their taxes. Those are things we just do not ever want to do nor does anyone enjoy doing them. But eventually you are simply forced to man up and take on the inevitable torture.

Hence, I spent the night at the Delaware DMV.

I had put off going for several months because, well, it is rather difficult to make the commitment to actually living in Delaware. It’s not like I felt my Missouri driver’s license and plates gave me some degree of coolness. It’s Missouri for crying out loud. But getting the paperwork done would mean that I am a resident and that I would have to deal with a degree of bureaucracy that even I couldn’t imagine.

You would think it would be simple, right? There are like ten people who actually live in Delaware so there should never be any lines and I could just show up, fill out the paperwork, get my picture taken and leave. But it can’t be that simple. First you have to go to the information desk and be handed a number similar to that at a deli counter. It would have been nice if there was a deli counter there because you definitely need to bring a sandwich. When I got there they were serving number 290. My number? 366. Yep, that made for a fun hour.

Not only did I have to wait but every time they called another number it was announced via this vaguely robotic voice. So not only were you stuck in a room with over a hundred people who just want to get out of there but you also had to hear an announcement every thirty seconds. It was just pure torture. I could feel my life force slowly draining away from me. I have no idea how that was considered better than having a line. Theoretically you could sit down but there weren’t enough seats anyway.

Eventually, after having enough intelligence drained from me that I could deal with the DMV, my number was called and I was able to get my license. What did I need to do after an hour wait? Prove that I could see, show a few utility bills, pay a fee and have my picture taken. How can something that simple take that long? Doesn’t anyone deal with process improvement anymore?

No I didn’t even bother to look at my picture. I probably have the same brain dead look I have on all of my official documentation (how any country lets me in with my passport photo is beyond me.) Getting plates was pretty much the same but had less of a wait and at least there the paperwork made sense. At least the whole vehicle inspection process went smoothly and even though this was an incredibly painful evening I at least have completed the task.

I think that is the one thing about the DMV experience that makes it rewarding: every one has to go through it. Occasionally Bill Gates has to stand in line in order to get his driver’s license picture taken or head over to the DMV to deal with an issue with his plates. There is no way around the process. You have to be there. You have to deal with it. There are no express lanes. It is one of the few places where everyone is equal. Now if it could just be made a little more enjoyable.

Wednesday Night Music Club: Obviously I am in a weird mood at the moment so here is some Arcade Fire. It’s the music I listen to when I feel like breaking stuff.