The Influential 15: Movies

I would like to take a moment to congratulate “The Birdman” Koko B. Ware on his induction into the WWE Hall of Fame. Yes, the guy who brought the parrot to the ring and seemingly lost every match he ever appeared in has made the Hall of Fame. Like everyone else on the internet, I am appalled as to how this makes the WWE look like a sham. If a pro wrestling hall of fame cannot have standards what do we have to look to in this world?

Alright, time for the 15 most influential movies of my life.

Star Wars (Episode IV: A New Hope): Well, duh. This might be the first movie that I ever saw in a theater and I would have been four or five at the time (I certainly remember seeing it at a theater). If I need to explain to you just how awesome this movie is you really shouldn’t be reading the blog. I mean it’s got space ships, lightsabers, grossly inaccurate stormtroopers, poorly designed waste disposal systems and Darth freakin Vader. Oh, and Carrie Fisher doesn’t wear a bra throughout the entire film. ‘Nuff said.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Again, there should be no surprise that this film is on the list. Easily my choice for the best comedy of all time. The amazing thing is how well this film has aged. I could watch it tonight and still laugh my ass off even though the film is thirty years old and I’ve seen it a hundred times already. I mean, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch? The Knights that say Ni? Sir Not Appearing in this Film? Just brilliance.

Casablanca: If there is any old school actor that I would want to be it would be Humphrey Bogart. He was hard edged cool. A Cary Grant always carried himself with the air of someone who knew he would get his way because he was so handsome. Bogart looked like a guy who was going to smoke half a pack of unfiltered cigarettes, down half a bottle of whiskey and still steal your woman from you by just being gruff and cool at the same time. I consider this to be the best film ever made. Unbelievable writing and acting and an ending that does not cave into Hollywood expectations.

Before Sunrise / Before Sunset: I have to combine these two into one entry because they comprise one ongoing story. Now it is true that part of my including these films is my complete adoration of Julie Delpy and any film that essentially consists of her walking around and talking has my vote. But what really strikes me about these films is how they really do capture what life is like at least for people like me. I am roughly the same age as the characters and the conversations that they have are the same as I have on dates. These strange philosophical discussions on life and love and wondering if you can ever find the one. Before Sunset is the better film because it is messy, as is life.

Kicking and Screaming: No, this is not the one where Will Ferrell coaches a children’s soccer team. I’m talking about the Noah Baumbach that had Parker Posey in it. This is my hidden gem of a film. Few people know about it, or remember it from the mid nineties, but I feel that I could pop in the DVD and make anyone a believer. It is a film that focuses on what happens in those moments after you graduate college. When you have no interest in joining the real world but are now forced to be an adult. It is one of the few films that really speaks to that phase of your life where you are adrift and still find yourself back on the college campus because that is all you know. And it has one of my favorite endings ever, which I won’t spoil for you here.

The Blues Brothers: The quintessential Chicago film. There are a few people who would say Ferris Beuller is more representative of the city but really that is a suburban view of Chicago where you wander around the Art Institute, see a parade and catch a Cubs game. The Blues Brothers captures the grittiness of the city and the sense of the neighborhoods. Oh and the music, don’t forget the music. As a kid in Chicago this was required viewing whenever it was on television. If it was on cable we got to hear all of the swearing and when it was on ABC we got to hear, oh, maybe half the script. But they kept the car chases and that was all that mattered.

Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: This is the Gene Wilder version and not the Johnny Depp version. If you ask me what is the scariest film of all time I will answer immediately “Willie Wonka”. I’m not much of a horror fan but none of those films have ever freaked me out as much as this film did as a kid. Again, I’ve always wondered why this was required viewing every year. There may not be a movie that will cause greater psychological scarring than this one. First off, why do we unleash the Oompa Loompas (complete with psychedelic graphics) on eight year olds? And even as an adult I have a hard time watching the scene of the boat going through the tunnel. But the ending makes up for all of it. Come with me and you’ll see…

Joe vs. the Volcano: There are only two people on the planet that like this film: Roger Ebert and me. Every other person I have ever met cannot stand this film. You have Meg Ryan playing three separate roles with only the last one being your typical Meg Ryan role. Tom Hanks is being nebbish and depressed the entire film. There are puns and dark humor throughout the entire film as well as the lesson of buying the best luggage possible. For some reason I just think this is a wonderful romance and comedy. Everyone else hates it. Oh well, I can’t always get the world to agree with me.

Office Space: The film for all of us cubicle drones out there. Swingline actually produced a red stapler to meet the demand that this film created. And you have to love any film that references the plot to Superman III. Not only is this film totally hilarious but it is also one of the few that really captures what it is like to be stuck in a meaningless job that you go to just because it is there. If you have ever had your soul forcibly ripped from your body due to office beauracracy, looked around at your coworkers and just shook your head, or just wanted to say “screw it” and walk away this film is for you.

Metropolitan: Whit Stillman’s film about a group of young adults as they go through debutante season in New York. One of those films that I wish I could have written (and given the way it was written and produced is one of the films that made me wonder about whether I should make a go of it as a screenwriter). It’s a very interesting film about how when you are eighteen or nineteen you speak as if you know everything in the world when in reality you are a total idiot. How that is different from when you are thirty five is beyond me. Best line in film “Playing strip poker with an exhibitionist just takes the challenge out of it.”

12 Monkeys: A completely underrated film by Terry Gilliam. The time travel aspects of the film alone are worth a doctoral thesis (who is controlling the time travel, does free will even exist, what the hell does it mean when she says that she is in “insurance?”) It is also a film that keeps you guessing. Not in that bad M. Night Shamalayn way in which you spend the entire film trying to find the twist. Here you follow the plot but are never quite sure where it is going to end up, which is good because neither do the characters. Also, for the guys you get to spend much of the film watching Madeline Stowe while for the ladies there is Brad Pitt. Equal opportunity for all.

Once: Will you just go see this movie, please? It’s just the best film of the past few years. Yes, you might need to put on subtitles in order to understand all of the Irish accents and it really helps for one scene if you speak Czech but by doing so you will be able to watch one of the best romantic movies of all time. And easily the one with the best music ever.

Baseketball: Sigh. I hate to admit how funny I find this movie. I should put something like Caddyshack or Animal House in this spot. Instead I have to settle on Baseketball. Don’t ask me why the guy who reads Shakespeare finds this film so drop dead hilarious. Or why when I am having a bad day this is what I pop into the DVD player. That is just one of the mysteries of my life.

Garden State: While this film isn’t nearly as enlightening on repeated viewings (you tend to start to see massive holes in the plot) it was the first film in many years that made me actually like watching movies again. There were a few years there where I just didn’t care to sit down and watch a movie. They all seemed to be meaningless and blurred into each other. This one was different. Maybe it was because Natalie Portman is purty. I just think it was a rather interesting examination of what happens when for once in your life you decide to actually live.

The Player: Robert Altman’s brilliant examination of Hollywood and what really goes on behind the scenes. Lyle Lovett gets his best role here as he basically has to play a strange looking guy who lurks ominously in the background. Lyle does a great job of it. Also, Tim Robbins wears the best suits in this film. Not to sound all Barney Stinson here but man, I’d kill for a few of those suits.

I think I’ll take a break tomorrow before moving on to the television shows. Writing these lists is a lot tougher than I originally anticipated.