Got a couple of odds and ends to address as we close out this week. Just a couple of news stories and events and things that I’ve noticed recently that I figure are worth talking about.
I did catch a good portion of VH1’s “Top 100 Child Stars of All Time”. Number one was, of course, Mr. Gary Coleman. It is one of those fascinating, train wreck, type of shows. You’re not watching it for any sense of enlightenment, you are basically going “Wow, did her life fall off the tracks” and “Oh my God, I can’t believe Cousin Oliver still looks like Cousin Oliver and he is like, forty, now.” The biggest revelation was that Tina Yothers from Family Ties has become this not bad looking Goth chick. I mean, not a mind numbingly gorgeous Goth girl but still, it’s Tina Yothers that we’re talking about here. I was impressed.
Speaking of train wrecks, the Formula One fiasco at Indy shows precisely why American fans will never enjoy Formula One. Fourteen of the twenty cars (actually drivers, barring a Herbie the Love Bug type dual entry) decided not to run because they deemed their Michelin tires to be unsafe. Here’s the problem, there is no American race fan who will ever accept the excuse that “it’s not safe to drive the car.” That’s the entire point. It’s not safe to drive around at two hundred and twenty five miles an hour. That’s why we watch.
Oh, and on Herbie the Love Bug, once we successfully complete the Free Katie campaign I think that we must quickly embark on the “Buy Lindsey Lohan a sandwich” charity fundraising drive. Also, we need someone to turn her back into a redhead quickly. For the good of society, these things must happen.
Another great news story is the Florida State quarterback who was arrested and/or hospitalized for wandering down the road alternately claiming to be God and Jesus Christ. The first new story was that he was coming back from a Dave Matthews Band concert. More accurately, he was coming back from Bonnaroo, which makes it a lot easier to understand just why a rational person would seemingly lose his mind overnight. It’s Bonnaroo, that’s basically the point of the whole thing. The other thing that struck me is that we need more creativity when these things happen. It’s real easy to say that you’re Jesus Christ. I want someone to one day go “I’m St. Martin De Porres” or “I’m the reincarnation of the seventh reincarnation of the Dalai Lama.” Just to make things a little more interesting.
Finally, this may be considered more Kansas bashing but I view more as a brilliant money making venture. While driving out to Lawrence on I-70 I saw the sign that said “Denver 550 miles” and it dawned on me that you shouldn’t even have to stop once you get past Lawrence on your way to Denver. There should be refueling tankers waiting at your beck and call, just like they have for fighter jets. You just pull behind one of these babies and fill up while driving. Somebody write up the business plan.
Have a good weekend everyone. Next week I will unleash the next batch of Battling the Current slogans. Let the anticipation build…
No comments:
Post a Comment