Random thoughts

This is going to be another one of those housekeeping entries where I answer a couple of recent questions, go off on a few rants, and basically try to deal with the fact that my plan for the night went out the window because The Amazing Race wasn’t on at 8 like I thought it was going to be.

On the Perfect Mate list comments: I’m not going to hold it against Kate Beckinsale that she’s a mom. I don’t hold it against Gwyneth Paltrow and she named her kid Apple. (You get to do that when you’re rich and famous. They won’t be made fun of at school because of their parents. Now, if one of us was named Apple we wouldn’t make it past third grade). What bugs me about Kate is that she is going so Hollywood and is beginning to look more and more like she’s made of plastic and that is just awful. A complete waste of talent and beauty. She’s greatly in danger of being replaced by Cate Blanchett on the list.

And if Martina Hingis was born in Czechoslovakia to Czechoslovakian parents that makes her Czech in my book. When I move to Australia I won’t become Australian, right? Though I am always amazed at the number of Czech supermodels in the world. Makes me question why my grandfather left the old country. Well, other than to avoid forty plus years of totalitarian regimes. And I don’t care what anyone says, I’d date Natalie Portman in an instant. Even if she is more liberal than me.

Mini Concert Review: Went to see Charlie Robison at the Grand Emporium over the weekend. Good show, nice size crowd, had a good time. I’m not really interested in talking about the show, what I really want to talk about is the venue.

When I moved to KC I was told that the Grand Emporium was the best place to see music in the town. That’s what all the magazines said, that’s what all the buzz said. Went there and saw a small, dark, dingy place. Concert posters from thirty years ago lined the walls, still with their original staples, all faded yellow due to years of cigarette smoke. What chairs and tables there were looked like they would fall apart if you breathed on them, much less put any weight on them. You didn’t even want to look at the floor, if you didn’t go out wearing your bar shoes you should just consider your feet a lost cause. And the beer was cheep and came out of the original tap. As in the first tap ever made.

In short, I loved the place. Great sound system, plenty of atmosphere, and you could get right next to the band. Saw a few shows there and had a good time. But it was sold to new owners who shut it down for a few months and have now reopened the new Grand Emporium. Looks the same from the outside but the inside is totally different.

The bar now has row upon row of glass shelves reaching to the ceiling. It’s to the point where you want to order something on the top shelf just to see if they’d get a ladder to pick up the bottle. Everything is clean and sleek. Grey countertops, Danish inspired wooden chairs and tables, a tile floor that they’ve actually mopped. A back room with couches and comfy chairs. Five bucks for one beer. In short, hell on earth. At least they kept the stage the same.

It’s tough to explain how a change in design has completely ruined the place. The sound is the same and I can stand next to the stage as always but the entire atmosphere has been ruined. See, when you’re paying ten bucks to see a good band from Texas you don’t want it to be a nice environment. You want it to be gritty and dirty and you especially want it to feel like there has been music played constantly on this stage for thirty years. It gives it a sense of place and permanency. Clean it up and it is just another bar. There just is no there there.

I’ve got the same problem with the House of Blues. They try to create a gritty feel while keeping it clean. There has to be a sense of danger when you listen to music. That feeling that you really don’t know what is going to happen next. Sanitize it and you might as well stay home and listen to a CD. So please, next time you go to a concert, mess the place up a little. Cause a little chaos. The band will sound better.