Perfect Mate: 2004 Edition

And now, the exciting conclusion to the Perfect Mate saga. Here is my current list and I’ll present it in countdown format. Again, the idea is if I got a call tomorrow from one of these women saying, “Hi, I’d like to spend the rest of my life with you.” I would say yes without even blinking. And then promptly pass out. Or start looking for cameras because I would obviously be on Punk’d. But here is the new list

10) Kate Beckinsale (Actress: The Last Days of Disco, Serendipity, Pearl Harbor, Van Helsing)
A long time favorite British actress. Beautiful, intelligent, won a prestigious British writing contest at 16 and has now started this unnerving habit of starring in just abysmal big budget movies. By going Hollywood on me she has fallen a few notches. Please Kate, do independent films. No one wants to see Underworld 2. Not even the people who made the first one.

9) Beth Orton (Singer)
Of people I want to see in concert but haven’t, Beth is tops on my list. She has this perfectly flawed voice that I just adore. You know how someone like Celine Dion can have this perfect voice that makes every song she sings instantly forgettable because there is nothing there? Beth is the opposite. There are inflections and flaws and interpretations that stay with you for days. Also, I give high marks to anyone who breaks up with Ryan Adams in such a way that Ryan had to write a five-minute song explaining how much she meant to him, putting it on his new album, and still failing miserably. Check out her music, just one super cool human being.

8) Martina Hingis (Retired tennis player)
Look, I can do one of these for money, right? Wouldn’t have to work a day in my life and get to marry a nice Czech girl and make my family happy. I’ll deal with the diva side of the equation later.

7) Parker Posey (Actress in about a thousand indie films)
The fabled indie It Girl. Who Ryan Adams ended up dating after breaking up with Beth Orton (what can I say we have the same tastes and sadly, a lot of the same vices). Incredibly talented actress who just has that killer ironic Generation X intelligence and style. There aren’t many of us left who will gladly claim to be members of Gen X so we need to stick together.

6) Gwyneth Paltrow (Actress: Shakespeare in Love, Sliding Doors)
For the record, the dude in Coldplay goes down as the luckiest bastard on the face of the Earth for this one. Seriously, you get to front a major rock band, do you also have to get one of the most beautiful women on the planet? Isn’t there some sense of justice in the world? Come on, she’s tall, blonde, beautiful, talented, and literate, completely out of my league. I’ll just move on.

5) Kirsten Dunst (Actress: Spider Man, The Virgin Suicides, The Cat’s Meow)
Ok, this might be influenced by the fact that I watched Spider-Man 2 like three times this weekend. Which will bring up the inevitable weakness for redheads again. But is there a better girl next-door type out there right now? She also has some serious acting skills and knows how to pick the right parts. Pretty much a no brainer.

4) Neko Case (Singer)
A first on this list, I’ve actually met Neko a few times. Great alt-country singer out of Chicago by way of Vancouver. Great songs, unbelievable voice, wicked sense of humor, and she has this habit of in between songs twisting her long hair behind her head in an effort to get it out of her eyes only to have it fall right back into her face five seconds into the next song. She’s done this for years now. I’m strangely fascinated by it. There is a slight chance that the song “Train from Kansas City” on her new album is about me. Ok, no chance but it is fun to dream every once in a while.

3) Kelly Willis (Singer)
Another person I’ve met and she is hands down the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever met in my life. This is a true story. When I first saw her play I had no idea who she was other than some singer out of Austin. Decided to give her one song to win me over. Standing right in front of her I watched her play one song and my immediate reaction was, “I’m going to marry her, before the encore if possible.” Oh well, she’s married to one of the best songwriters on the planet. Still, I’ve gotten chills just watching her sing. It might be country music but check it out.

2) Natalie Portman (Actress: the bad Star Wars movies, Beautiful Girls)
I’m not sure if there is a cooler, smarter, more talented, more alluring actress working today. Her talent is frightening (watch Beautiful Girls, at 14 she is out acting an entire ensemble of Gen X actors). Goes to Harvard I think in between trying to make something out of George Lucas’ inane scripts. Has that mysterious look about her that fascinates me. Also has that one quality that I look for above all others, I have no doubt that I would never be bored talking to her.

1) Julie Delpy (Actress: Before Sunset)
Finally putting right what was wrong in the first list. Yes, she’s a French actress who speaks almost perfect English. Yes, I’ve had to read a lot of subtitles watching her movies but it is worth it. Extremely talented actress who has gotten better with age. When I write my review of Before Sunset and explain why it is the best movie of the year I’ll explain more of just how incredible she is. But I need to state something right now. If there is any justice in the world, if the universe would ever decide to start paying me back for all of my good deeds recently, she will get the female lead in The DaVinci Code. The female lead is a French woman in her 30’s with red hair. Julie has already said that she’d dye her hair for the role. Please, can’t the universe go my way just once?


So that’s the new list. All over the board but when you view the list as a whole it probably tells a lot of things about me, some that I probably shouldn’t reveal. Do I expect any of these women to sit down next to me at a bar, talk to me for a few hours, and then ask me to marry them? No, of course not. But it’s nice to have a picture in my mind of what I’m looking for when I make that trek out every weekend searching for my real Perfect Mate.