Bono to the Rescue

Some slightly unoriginal content tonight. (Look, it’s difficult to be creative every night given that frantic pace that is my life. Here, I’ll give you something to look forward to. Next week: EC’s Perfect Mate lists. First, the original 1996 edition and a new, never before seen, 2004 edition. Trust me, as anyone who understands the deep philosophical construct that I have formulated behind the Perfect Mate concept knows, this is something that you will not want to miss.)

Anyway, they announced the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees yesterday and what do you know, U2 got inducted. At precisely the same time as they are releasing a new album and getting ready to start a world tour. No, that’s just a coincidence, it’s not like it was planned that way. Of course not, that would be a cynical view of the world and Bono is in it for the music and not the money. Yeah, right.

Actually, I’m more pissed that the J. Geils Band didn’t make the cut. Come on, did they ever see the Centerfold video? My god, that video was heaven for a 10 year old boy with only basic cable. It was like that dream of what high school or college was going to be like, scantily clad girls dancing in a classroom. You know, the more I think about it, screw the J. Geils Band. Talk about getting someone’s expectations up. They made the rest of my life an entire let down.

(Ok, the Freeze Frame video with the band throwing paint around was also cool to a 10 year old. Sex and paint, now there is a band that knows its target audience)

Back to the point, here is a very old piece from The Onion on the man of the hour, Bono.

Bono to the Rescue

Called “rock’s conscience”, U2 frontman and political crusader Bono has met with everyone from Kofi Annan to Colin Powell. What has he been doing recently?

· Tirelessly dedicating self to ending Third World debt, no matter how many magazine covers he must appear on in process
· Restoring humanity’s faith in the power and the promise and the possibility of rock and roll
· Feeding starving Somalis by dividing single loaf into many
· Defeating Bruce Springsteen in epic, five hour earnest-off
· Vowing to lobby Congress for African aid on progressively larger Jumbotrons until demands are met
· Shouldering the burdens of a post-Sept. 11 world/buying another pair of blue-tinted wrap around shades
· Revealing that The Edge will betray him three times before cock crows
· Thinking about writing song about deliverance and redemption; also maybe one about transcendence