As I promised last week, today I present the concept of the Perfect Mate. We’ll split this into two parts, today I’ll present my original Perfect Mate list (from way back in February 1996) and tomorrow I’ll present the latest and greatest list. But first, here is the concept.
It’s pretty simple, really. Name the ten people who you would marry in a second, no questions asked. The important thing is that when I say marry I mean til death to you part. You will spend the next sixty years of your life with this person. You will end up sitting in matching reclining chairs watching television and when you turn your head, there she will be. There is a good chance that at some point one of you is going to be wearing Depends and you will have to deal with it. So, you have to choose wisely because you will be spending every day of the next sixty years of your life with this person.
Obviously, who you choose tells a lot about who you are. It should show exactly what you are looking for in life on all levels. I’ve still known people to put Pamela Anderson on their list, which really shows a focus on the present rather than the future. But hey, maybe some guys just want to spend the rest of their life with someone that they can’t expose to an open flame for fear of melting. Who am I to judge?
So, here is my original list, taken directly from an email I sent to a buddy of mine in February 1996. I mean it, I actually still have a copy of the print out. That might say more about me than the list itself. Anyway, I’m going to include my original comments and what I say now. So lets go back to 1996 when alternative rock still existed, MTV played videos and a young EC was still trying to figure out what he was supposed to be doing with his life.
1) Emma Thompson (Actress in Howard’s End, Dead Again, Sense and Sensibility)
What I said then: She’s in her 30’s, British, beautiful, funny and intelligent. Would always keep me fascinated.
What I say now: Incredibly, I think she would now be too old for me. Yeah, that doesn’t make much sense to me either. However, she’s always been that great combination of intelligence, humor and surprising good looks that just hooks me immediately. Plus, any actress who can win an Oscar for her writing is always going to rank high in my book.
2) Jennifer Jason Leigh (Actress in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Single White Female, Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle)
What I said then: Short, dark haired intense actress who has this beautiful way of holding herself as if she is answering life’s great questions while she’s sitting around.
What I say now: First thing, when I made this list I had watched like six of her movies in a row, which explains her ranking. Completely underrated as an actress by everyone outside of film geeks. Is still really intense and I’d think she’d stay on this list only if she was actually continuously portraying Dorothy Parker. But that is an entry for another day.
3) Sarah McLachlan (Singer)
What I said then: Tall dark haired Canadian. If I ever became a poet I’d marry her.
What I say now: For the record, I would like to state that I made this list before Lillith Fair even existed so I deserve some props for my pop culture foresight. That said, she shouldn’t have cut her hair. Biggest mistake outside of Keri Russell on Felicity. Would also be nice if she recorded a new album more than once every five years. Oh well, I still haven’t become a poet so I can’t complain, can I?
4) Meg Ryan (Actress in more films than I care to mention)
What I said then: Who wouldn’t marry her?
What I say now: Wow, has she fallen off the radar screens. Think about it, when was the last time you went to see a Meg Ryan movie? Or looked forward to going to one? It’s like a disappearing act. But, for that 1988 to 1995 timespan, she gets Perfect Mate Hall of Fame status.
5) Julie Delpy (Actress: Before Sunrise, Killing Zoe, An American Werewolf in Paris)
What I said then: French actress with this angelic, intellectual quality to her
What I say now: Come back tomorrow because she is still on the list. With a much better ranking. What was I thinking back then? No way should she rank behind Sarah McLachlan.
6) Juliette Binoche (Actress: Unbearable Lightness of Being, The English Patient, Chocolat)
What I said then: Eyes that can melt you in an instant.
What I say now: Again, for the record I made this list before she won an Oscar in The English Patient. Pretty much any movie that she is in is going to be good, at least from a movie critics perspective. As you can tell, I was watching a lot of foreign movies at this time in my life.
7) Tori Amos (singer)
What I said then: Gorgeous, would use me for six months and then throw me away.
What I say now: As I instructed my clone, you will have a weakness for redheads. A great musician as long as she doesn’t go too far off the deep end. Still like her, though her music has gone in a direction that I am not too fond of but she’ll probably always be pretty high on my list.
8) Tea Leoni (Actress currently starring in Spanglish with Adam Sandler and man, I wouldn’t have bet that I would be writing that sentence 8 years ago)
What I said then: Very good comedic actress. I’ll probably make more money than she will
What I say now: She married David Duchoveny and makes a lot more money than me by being in Adam Sandler pictures. If anyone remembers the Fox show Flying Blind (a one season show from back in maybe 93) that is why she was on the list. Now if I can get a DVD collection of Saved by the Bell why can’t I get a collection of this?
9) Kat from the Real World: London
What I said then: Watch the reruns of the show and you will instantly see me with my arm around her.
What I say now: See my dream Real World cast from earlier this month. I think I read that she is working on Fear Factor now, which means that reality television has become a profession in the last ten years. That’s a really frightening thought.
10) Liz Phair (Singer)
What I said then: Got to put one Chicagoan on the list
What I say now: See The Aging of Alternative Nation, yet another post on the blog. I’ll always consider Liz to be the cool older sister of my best friend, ever present but always unattainable. And that’s a place of honor, honestly.
So that’s the old list. Yes, I winced at a few of them (and you didn’t see some of the old comments that I’ve edited out. My God, I can’t believe I actually wrote some of that stuff. But I am so much a different person than I was back in 96 it is like reading someone else’s writing). Like I said, the list tells a lot about what you are looking for in life. Tomorrow, the new list. I’m sure you’ll all be on the edge of your seats. Well, except for the people who will be emailing me to tell me how horrible an idea this is, there are always a few out there that feel that way.
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