Kansas City is a strange town when it comes to the news. I hate to say it, but it really is a AAA town. It isn’t the major leagues out here. Sure, there are some decent reporters but there is always something that is just a little bit off about everything they do. Little things like never showing out of town scores or covering high school sports with just a little too much interest. News reports focusing on the fact that the American Idol happens to be from here. Those sorts of things.
Last night was another example of this. While I was out last evening running errands I got caught in the rain. That is not a major news event as such so I didn’t expect to have cameras following me. Now in this part of the country when it rains it freaking rains so not only was I listening to Yoda and using the force because I couldn’t see the road thanks to the fact that the sewer system is older than Yoda I would occasionally hit standing water that could technically be considered a small stream. Given that I drive the little Grand Am that could, the concept of my being washed away was not theoretical last night.
But I made it home (thanks to the fact that I know how to drive in bad weather) and turned on the television to find that all of the local stations were showing breaking news reports on two major stories. The first was the rain where the news was, well, it was raining outside. Yes, it was really heavy and some of the streets were flooded and there was a lot of lightning but all of that information could be conveyed by looking out the window. It wasn’t a breaking news story. Yet every few minutes I was watching radar images of what was outside my window.
The other story, and the slightly more interesting one, was that lightning had hit a fuel storage tank causing roughly a million gallons of gasoline to go up in flames. Now this is a story. Maybe not one that causes you to preempt Hell’s Kitchen (grumble, grumble, grumble) but it is a story. I just couldn’t comprehend the non-stop coverage of it. This is what I know. 1) There was a fire. 2) No one was injured. 3) From as much as anyone could tell, the smoke wasn’t dangerous. 4) Pretty much no one was being evacuated and it was in a very industrial part of time. 5) Pictures of massive fires look really cool on television.
Number five was the reason this was on the air all night. It was just the fact that the pictures were really cool with flames shooting up nearly 100 feet into the air. But still, how is this more exciting than Hell’s Kitchen. It’s the one show I schedule my life around but no, I have to watch the news.
Oh, and I do like the fact that it took 15 minutes into the newscast for the stations to go “Oh yeah, Obama sealed the nomination. That’s historic or something.”
Wednesday Night Music Club: I’m in a bit of a New Orleans mood tonight so here is one of my favorite bands from there, the subdudes. Yes, at one point the video turns into an interview but I am including it because a) I really like the song and b) it emphasizes the fact that they don’t have a drummer but rather a guy who just plays tambourine. Pretty cool.
Showing posts with label KC Complaints. Show all posts
Showing posts with label KC Complaints. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Sunday, July 08, 2007
A double blind life
Note to people who have to deal with me in the real world on a regular basis: I am undertaking a personal experiment this week and I am not sure what the results shall be. I have finally broken down and taken the television set out of my bedroom. Theoretically, this should help remove the clutter from my life, make it easier for me to sleep and force me to wake up earlier as I will no longer be able to lie in bed listening to the news every morning. That’s the theory anyway. There is a real possibility that I simply will not get out of bed and/or even be more bitter and grumpy than normal. Just saying, you might want to give me some space this week.
This isn’t the first personal experiment that I’ve undertaken and hopefully it won’t have similar results to the fabled “Optimal Level of Drunkeness” experiment, which I believe is still discussed in hushed tones at bars around the country. The idea was brilliant though. I’m a naturally quiet and serious guy and while I have a good sense of humor it takes a while for me to show it to people. (Computer screens are a much nicer audience). But there is a point on a Saturday night where after enough beverages I become a very witty and relaxed guy who is really fun to have around. The experiment, and yes this was done with rigor and numerous witnesses, was to pinpoint that exact moment and to time it to coincide with when this girl I really liked was going to join us at the bar. The protocol was top-notch going into the night.
Sadly, the protocols did not anticipate people ordering shots of tequila. As I said later, “I saw the optimal level and decided to run right past it.” Didn’t get the girl and ended up watching old tapes of Beavis and Butthead at my apartment later that night. This is why I warn people when I undertake these experiments.
Anyway, a few other notes from the weekend. Sadly, I did not attend the Redneck Games that the Kansas City T-Bones were holding this weekend. The promotion’s goal, and this is an exact quote, was to “find the biggest redneck in Wyandotte County.” Personally, this doesn’t seem like something you could achieve in a weekend. I’m guessing this would require at least six months, a double-elimination bracket, and several monster trucks. Sometimes I really don’t have to look very far to find humor in this town.
I did make my way to the Lyle Lovett and K.D. Lang show on Friday. I’ll say this about KC, the nice thing about a town that doesn’t believe in culture (or evolution, or filling in potholes) is that I can end up with sixth row seats for Lyle Lovett without any effort. K.D. was fine, given that I didn’t quite know what to expect. Basically I can’t complain about anyone who does a version of Leonard Cohen’s “Halleluiah” to end her set. (If I ever decided to go for a master’s in the history of music my thesis would be on that song and its evolution through cover versions by John Cale, Jeff Buckley and Rufus Wainwright among others.) Lyle was awesome as always. He played a lot of new material as he should have a new album out relatively soon. He’s messing around with bluegrass again, more as a concept than a full blown, old-time sound. Still a good show except with two venue complaints.
First, during a few songs they completely lost Lyle’s vocals in the mix. To the point that you could barely hear him sing. I’ve gone to a lot of shows and losing the vocals is not common. This is the second show in a row at Starlight that this has happened and it makes me wonder who is running their sound board. The other point is that it is very odd to put a rather nice, open air theater right next to the zoo. Because this means that on a warm summer night you sit down to watch a band and the cooling breeze brings with it a smell that is almost, but not quite, like having an elephant sitting next to you. It just adds a bit of surrealness to a night that should be pretty straightforward.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Cowboy Junkies “Early 21st Century Blues”
2) Toad the Wet Sprocket “Dulcinea”
3) Lyle Lovett “Lyle Lovett”
4) Carbon Leaf “Love Loss Hope Repeat”
5) The Polyphonic Spree “Together We’re Heavy”
This isn’t the first personal experiment that I’ve undertaken and hopefully it won’t have similar results to the fabled “Optimal Level of Drunkeness” experiment, which I believe is still discussed in hushed tones at bars around the country. The idea was brilliant though. I’m a naturally quiet and serious guy and while I have a good sense of humor it takes a while for me to show it to people. (Computer screens are a much nicer audience). But there is a point on a Saturday night where after enough beverages I become a very witty and relaxed guy who is really fun to have around. The experiment, and yes this was done with rigor and numerous witnesses, was to pinpoint that exact moment and to time it to coincide with when this girl I really liked was going to join us at the bar. The protocol was top-notch going into the night.
Sadly, the protocols did not anticipate people ordering shots of tequila. As I said later, “I saw the optimal level and decided to run right past it.” Didn’t get the girl and ended up watching old tapes of Beavis and Butthead at my apartment later that night. This is why I warn people when I undertake these experiments.
Anyway, a few other notes from the weekend. Sadly, I did not attend the Redneck Games that the Kansas City T-Bones were holding this weekend. The promotion’s goal, and this is an exact quote, was to “find the biggest redneck in Wyandotte County.” Personally, this doesn’t seem like something you could achieve in a weekend. I’m guessing this would require at least six months, a double-elimination bracket, and several monster trucks. Sometimes I really don’t have to look very far to find humor in this town.
I did make my way to the Lyle Lovett and K.D. Lang show on Friday. I’ll say this about KC, the nice thing about a town that doesn’t believe in culture (or evolution, or filling in potholes) is that I can end up with sixth row seats for Lyle Lovett without any effort. K.D. was fine, given that I didn’t quite know what to expect. Basically I can’t complain about anyone who does a version of Leonard Cohen’s “Halleluiah” to end her set. (If I ever decided to go for a master’s in the history of music my thesis would be on that song and its evolution through cover versions by John Cale, Jeff Buckley and Rufus Wainwright among others.) Lyle was awesome as always. He played a lot of new material as he should have a new album out relatively soon. He’s messing around with bluegrass again, more as a concept than a full blown, old-time sound. Still a good show except with two venue complaints.
First, during a few songs they completely lost Lyle’s vocals in the mix. To the point that you could barely hear him sing. I’ve gone to a lot of shows and losing the vocals is not common. This is the second show in a row at Starlight that this has happened and it makes me wonder who is running their sound board. The other point is that it is very odd to put a rather nice, open air theater right next to the zoo. Because this means that on a warm summer night you sit down to watch a band and the cooling breeze brings with it a smell that is almost, but not quite, like having an elephant sitting next to you. It just adds a bit of surrealness to a night that should be pretty straightforward.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Cowboy Junkies “Early 21st Century Blues”
2) Toad the Wet Sprocket “Dulcinea”
3) Lyle Lovett “Lyle Lovett”
4) Carbon Leaf “Love Loss Hope Repeat”
5) The Polyphonic Spree “Together We’re Heavy”
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Now Entering Wonderland (Note: Wonderland Currently Under Construction)
Just have a couple of random topics to write about tonight. No grand adventures from this weekend as I actually didn’t go out much other than my usual Friday night trivia game. Yes, even I can be tempted to take a Saturday night off every once in a while. It wasn’t because of the weather, as it would have been a nice night to be out and about, more because when you are yawning at ten you probably shouldn’t be out til two. Not that I haven’t tried it before…
Topic # 1: A few weeks ago I started to notice a bunch of signs going up around town. In what I can only gather is an attempt to make traveling easier for the occasional Kansas City tourist they’ve started to put up some very nice signs describing what part of town you are entering and arrows to point you in the direction of the attraction. (If the latest bond issue is passed then we get to move up to attractions.) Anyway, what this means is that now when I drive home to the Westport District I am notified of this by a picture of a stagecoach.
I don’t know about you but that isn’t the typical image that comes to mind when I think about the Westport District. Personally, I feel that a picture of a 23 year old refugee from a bachelorette party hurling into a trash can would be a much more appropriate image. I’ve lived here for a couple of years and I have to say that is something I come across on nearly a daily basis whereas I can’t remember the last time a wagon train pulled into town.
Topic # 2: Have I ever written about the insanely organized nature of bachelorette parties in this town? It has always bothered me. I come across these things every weekend and they are better organized than most wars. These girls have checklists and agendas and protocols and stuff. It is apparently the highlight of their life, which given the fact that they always seem to be 23 it could very well be. (This also explains why being in my 30’s and single in this town really, really sucks.) Basically all they do is walk into bars and become really annoying as they feel that they have a right to the place when the rest of us just want a beer and watch the ballgame. Hence my devotion to a bar that has actually turned bachelorette parties away at the door. It might not be good for that night’s business but boy does it make regulars out of the rest of us.
Topic # 3: I’m not quite sure what is making me feel older today: a) that it has been four years since I earned my MBA from Notre Dame, b) that it has been twelve years since I received my EE degree from Illinois or c) that it has been sixteen years since I was named to the prom court. I was actually called old at trivia last week (by the red headed slutatorian no less) and to be honest I didn’t feel like arguing with the claim. Every time I get my haircut I look down and see more and more white hairs in the mix. Theoretically this should make me look distinguished but I don’t live a life which really deserves distinguishment. I really need to find an answer for “What the hell have you done with your life?”
The five random CD’s for the week:
1) The Frames “Set List”
2) Loreena McKennitt “To Drive the Cold Winter Away”
3) Sarah McLachlan “Touch”
4) Aimee Mann “I’m With Stupid”
5) Various Artists “Here Come the Irish”
Topic # 1: A few weeks ago I started to notice a bunch of signs going up around town. In what I can only gather is an attempt to make traveling easier for the occasional Kansas City tourist they’ve started to put up some very nice signs describing what part of town you are entering and arrows to point you in the direction of the attraction. (If the latest bond issue is passed then we get to move up to attractions.) Anyway, what this means is that now when I drive home to the Westport District I am notified of this by a picture of a stagecoach.
I don’t know about you but that isn’t the typical image that comes to mind when I think about the Westport District. Personally, I feel that a picture of a 23 year old refugee from a bachelorette party hurling into a trash can would be a much more appropriate image. I’ve lived here for a couple of years and I have to say that is something I come across on nearly a daily basis whereas I can’t remember the last time a wagon train pulled into town.
Topic # 2: Have I ever written about the insanely organized nature of bachelorette parties in this town? It has always bothered me. I come across these things every weekend and they are better organized than most wars. These girls have checklists and agendas and protocols and stuff. It is apparently the highlight of their life, which given the fact that they always seem to be 23 it could very well be. (This also explains why being in my 30’s and single in this town really, really sucks.) Basically all they do is walk into bars and become really annoying as they feel that they have a right to the place when the rest of us just want a beer and watch the ballgame. Hence my devotion to a bar that has actually turned bachelorette parties away at the door. It might not be good for that night’s business but boy does it make regulars out of the rest of us.
Topic # 3: I’m not quite sure what is making me feel older today: a) that it has been four years since I earned my MBA from Notre Dame, b) that it has been twelve years since I received my EE degree from Illinois or c) that it has been sixteen years since I was named to the prom court. I was actually called old at trivia last week (by the red headed slutatorian no less) and to be honest I didn’t feel like arguing with the claim. Every time I get my haircut I look down and see more and more white hairs in the mix. Theoretically this should make me look distinguished but I don’t live a life which really deserves distinguishment. I really need to find an answer for “What the hell have you done with your life?”
The five random CD’s for the week:
1) The Frames “Set List”
2) Loreena McKennitt “To Drive the Cold Winter Away”
3) Sarah McLachlan “Touch”
4) Aimee Mann “I’m With Stupid”
5) Various Artists “Here Come the Irish”
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
And I used punch cards...
(It’s Springtime! I mean, officially this time. We’ve been having good high school baseball weather here for the past week or two so I feel like we’ve already entered the new season. Just always nice to know that you made it through another winter.)
I am a regular reader of Men’s Health magazine. That probably comes as a shock to most people. Especially given that I look as if I have never seen a gym in my life. That is not true, though I definitely need to get back into my workout routine. And it definitely helped me lose the fifteen pounds of fat I shouldn’t have been carrying. Anyway, they published a stat in this month’s magazine that was very telling.
They ranked each city by the quality of drivers and Kansas City basically came in last. They received a failing grade while the Twin Cities received an A. That makes sense since to drive in Minnesota means you have to be able to handle snow and you just become a better driver as a result. (New York City also got an A, though I have a feeling that is because a) no one drives and b) those who do drive can’t exceed fifteen miles an hour so it is tough to get into a bad accident.) But it is kind of fitting to see KC being given a failing grade. I’ve never quite seen a city where people completely lose their ability to drive whenever the weather changes and even when it is nice out you can be cut off by a sixteen wheeler like I was today.
(Oh, and I just missed getting pulled over by the cops this morning. Have to appreciate 8 AM speed traps.)
Geek note: I have to mention the passing of someone who had a great influence on my life. The guy who invented Fortran (I think his name was Backus) passed away this week. For those of you who weren’t around prior to Windows, Fortran was a programming language and one of the first ones that I learned. It’s also the one that I am most proficient in, which because the best version was written in 1966 is quite possibly the least marketable skill that I have acquired in my life. I’ve been able to pass off my addiction to reality shows as “being attuned to pop culture” in job interviews. Knowing Fortran just means that I am old.
It was a great language to use though. Define your variables upfront, set up a ton of procedures, and write nested if-then statements to your hearts content. For someone like me (who was an effective but horribly inefficient programmer) it was powerful stuff. So, even though no one uses it anymore, there are a lot of us old computer guys who are going to pour out a forty in memory of the man who wrote the original code.
(Hey, computer geeks can be gangster)
One last note. As you can tell, I’ve been really struggling for topics this week. When I have entire posts about America’s Next Top Model, a show that really doesn’t need my in depth analysis, it basically means that I can’t think of anything even moderately interesting to write about. I do have a couple of pieces that I want to write but most of those are for the book, which I really, really need to work on. All of this is just a long way of saying that I am going to take tomorrow off from the blog. I figure that I am due one day off a quarter from my usual routine. I’ll be back on schedule next week with hopefully a refreshed mind. See you then.
I am a regular reader of Men’s Health magazine. That probably comes as a shock to most people. Especially given that I look as if I have never seen a gym in my life. That is not true, though I definitely need to get back into my workout routine. And it definitely helped me lose the fifteen pounds of fat I shouldn’t have been carrying. Anyway, they published a stat in this month’s magazine that was very telling.
They ranked each city by the quality of drivers and Kansas City basically came in last. They received a failing grade while the Twin Cities received an A. That makes sense since to drive in Minnesota means you have to be able to handle snow and you just become a better driver as a result. (New York City also got an A, though I have a feeling that is because a) no one drives and b) those who do drive can’t exceed fifteen miles an hour so it is tough to get into a bad accident.) But it is kind of fitting to see KC being given a failing grade. I’ve never quite seen a city where people completely lose their ability to drive whenever the weather changes and even when it is nice out you can be cut off by a sixteen wheeler like I was today.
(Oh, and I just missed getting pulled over by the cops this morning. Have to appreciate 8 AM speed traps.)
Geek note: I have to mention the passing of someone who had a great influence on my life. The guy who invented Fortran (I think his name was Backus) passed away this week. For those of you who weren’t around prior to Windows, Fortran was a programming language and one of the first ones that I learned. It’s also the one that I am most proficient in, which because the best version was written in 1966 is quite possibly the least marketable skill that I have acquired in my life. I’ve been able to pass off my addiction to reality shows as “being attuned to pop culture” in job interviews. Knowing Fortran just means that I am old.
It was a great language to use though. Define your variables upfront, set up a ton of procedures, and write nested if-then statements to your hearts content. For someone like me (who was an effective but horribly inefficient programmer) it was powerful stuff. So, even though no one uses it anymore, there are a lot of us old computer guys who are going to pour out a forty in memory of the man who wrote the original code.
(Hey, computer geeks can be gangster)
One last note. As you can tell, I’ve been really struggling for topics this week. When I have entire posts about America’s Next Top Model, a show that really doesn’t need my in depth analysis, it basically means that I can’t think of anything even moderately interesting to write about. I do have a couple of pieces that I want to write but most of those are for the book, which I really, really need to work on. All of this is just a long way of saying that I am going to take tomorrow off from the blog. I figure that I am due one day off a quarter from my usual routine. I’ll be back on schedule next week with hopefully a refreshed mind. See you then.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Destressing through consumerism
Does it bother anyone else that the year is already one-twelfth over? Seriously, did I miss the entire month of January? Even though I’ve documented every single thing that I have done during the month I still have no idea what happened. I’m pretty sure that New Year’s was last Monday. It really does bother me that time accelerates as you age. I’m very confident that the summer when I was ten years old lasted approximately three years. And one whole year of that is accounted for by sitting on my couch and watching Sale of the Century.
Things are going much nicer for me tonight so hopefully I won’t be suffering from undue stress. We won at trivia tonight, making two in a row and it could have been three if I hadn’t blown a tiebreaker question a few weeks back. (My weakness for Dorothy Parker, or more accurately, my weakness for Jennifer Jason Leigh portraying Dorothy Parker, came back to haunt me.) I swept a Super Bowl trivia category, even knowing who is calling the coin toss on Sunday. For the record, I will once again be placing money on the coin toss. I figure it’s the safest bet on the board. I mean, tails never fails.
Plus, my Amazon order came in and this will provide me with much enjoyment. This is continuing my effort to cash in all of my loose change for Amazon gift certificates and thus fund my media collection. Picked up a bunch of CDs, to the point where I think I’m losing ground in the random CD project. Filled in some gaps in my Aimee Mann collection and picked up some Rilo Kiley, who were on Austin City Limits over the weekend and Jenny Lewis impressed me to the point that I wanted to pick up a couple of discs. Grabbed a couple of books: one on improving your personal productivity (which should just be titled “Stop being a lazy piece of crap”) and one on crowdsourcing and the wisdom of the masses. Maybe not the first choice of reading materials for most people but it’s a field I’m getting more and more involved in. But the biggest thing is I finally picked up my White Sox World Series DVD collection so I can spend all weekend watching every game in preparation for my next championship celebration.
Switching gears, I would like to make a request of the people of Kansas City. Maybe the Funkster could add this to his campaign pledges, given that he is bombarding me with emails and not once has he promised to reunite Sly and the Family Stone. We had an inch of snow tonight and it pretty much caused the city to stop. Seriously, my commute nearly doubled even though you could actually still see the concrete. I’d just like to make the following suggestions to the people who live here just so an inch of snow doesn’t cause the schools to close. First, it’s not a bad idea to have a scraper in your car and to use it when it snows. An inch of fluffy snow takes upwards of one minute to remove from your car and when you do so it means you can actually see out your windows. Thus, you don’t have to go five miles an hour while going “I can’t see the road.” You don’t know how much this bothers me. Do that and simply pay attention to what is going on around you and everything will be fine. You need a little more stopping distance and a slight bit more patience. Maybe some more intelligence, which admittedly is lacking at times in this town, but I’ll settle for distance and patience.
Things are going much nicer for me tonight so hopefully I won’t be suffering from undue stress. We won at trivia tonight, making two in a row and it could have been three if I hadn’t blown a tiebreaker question a few weeks back. (My weakness for Dorothy Parker, or more accurately, my weakness for Jennifer Jason Leigh portraying Dorothy Parker, came back to haunt me.) I swept a Super Bowl trivia category, even knowing who is calling the coin toss on Sunday. For the record, I will once again be placing money on the coin toss. I figure it’s the safest bet on the board. I mean, tails never fails.
Plus, my Amazon order came in and this will provide me with much enjoyment. This is continuing my effort to cash in all of my loose change for Amazon gift certificates and thus fund my media collection. Picked up a bunch of CDs, to the point where I think I’m losing ground in the random CD project. Filled in some gaps in my Aimee Mann collection and picked up some Rilo Kiley, who were on Austin City Limits over the weekend and Jenny Lewis impressed me to the point that I wanted to pick up a couple of discs. Grabbed a couple of books: one on improving your personal productivity (which should just be titled “Stop being a lazy piece of crap”) and one on crowdsourcing and the wisdom of the masses. Maybe not the first choice of reading materials for most people but it’s a field I’m getting more and more involved in. But the biggest thing is I finally picked up my White Sox World Series DVD collection so I can spend all weekend watching every game in preparation for my next championship celebration.
Switching gears, I would like to make a request of the people of Kansas City. Maybe the Funkster could add this to his campaign pledges, given that he is bombarding me with emails and not once has he promised to reunite Sly and the Family Stone. We had an inch of snow tonight and it pretty much caused the city to stop. Seriously, my commute nearly doubled even though you could actually still see the concrete. I’d just like to make the following suggestions to the people who live here just so an inch of snow doesn’t cause the schools to close. First, it’s not a bad idea to have a scraper in your car and to use it when it snows. An inch of fluffy snow takes upwards of one minute to remove from your car and when you do so it means you can actually see out your windows. Thus, you don’t have to go five miles an hour while going “I can’t see the road.” You don’t know how much this bothers me. Do that and simply pay attention to what is going on around you and everything will be fine. You need a little more stopping distance and a slight bit more patience. Maybe some more intelligence, which admittedly is lacking at times in this town, but I’ll settle for distance and patience.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)