Saw this on Reddit this evening and it is the best question that I have been posed in a long time. You can choose from one of the following ten magical items. Which one do you choose and why?
1) A pot that can produce 1,000 kilograms of any food a day.
2) A bracelet that keeps weather perfect wherever you go and within a 250 kilometre radius.
3) A necklace that allows you to touch books and instantly absorb knowledge from them, without reading.
4) An unlimited bottle of perfume that will make you wildly attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re gay), which cannot be used on anyone you love.
5) A watch that allows you to reverse time by a minute or less per day.
6) A bell that when rang fixes any one object at a time, excluding living things, within a minute.
7) A chocolate bar, with twelve pieces, that makes anyone who eats a single piece invincible and youthful until the age of 160.
8) A no fuel required, maintenance free, eight person van that can take you anywhere on the planet within one second.
9) A remote control that allows you and another person to change, superficially, into anyone you want; the effect lasts until you decide to revert.
10) An immortal dog that poops out one gold coin every time it goes to the bathroom.
I’ll break these down one by one to get to my decision.
1) This quickly caught my attention as I immediately think “I can feed the planet!” Except that a) 1,000 kilos of food really isn’t that much when split amongst six billion people and b) almost no famines are a result of a lack of food (politics and war are the causes). You could also use it under the idea of “I’ll never have to go to the grocery store” or “I could hike that Appalachian Trail without having to pack food” except that then you would still have to deal with 1,000 kilos of food. I’ll pass.
2) No real interest in this one. Besides the fact that you would really screw up the weather pattern I’m not really interested in perfect weather. Last night we had a huge snowstorm that made it look like I had suddenly been transported to Hoth. I like watching a thunderstorm. If I wanted life to be constantly 75 and sunny I would move to California.
3) Very tempting especially for someone who craves knowledge as much as I do. However, outside of being able to totally kick Ken Jenning’s ass at Jeopardy I’m not sure how much use I would be able to get out of this. Knowledge does not equal ingenuity so even though I may know everything about a subject it does not mean that I can make that leap to the next step. Plus, it would mean I would no longer have to read and a life without books sounds rather boring.
4) Easily skipped. The only person whose opinion I care about in that matter is the woman I love.
5) A lot of people online chose this one and while I understand why it doesn’t make the top of my list. One reason people gave was “you can make a ton of money gambling” but I feel that the one minute rule would make going to a casino rather annoying as you could only play fast paced games and it just seems like an awfully difficult way to become rich. The better reason is that you could take back all of the stupid things you do in life. All of those boneheaded statements or actions that you immediately want to take back but can’t. That has an awful lot of value but for me it sometimes takes more than a minute for it to sink in just how stupid I was. It is horrible in real life knowing that you can’t go back in time and change things. Now imagine that you had the ability but didn’t recognize in time for you to do so.
6) Well, you could make a mint running the ultimate repair shop but other than that I’m not sure what use I would get out of this. It might be the most practical choice on the list but if I have a chance to get my hands on a magic item I am not going with what is practical.
7) Wow. Reminiscent of Hob Gadling in the Sandman who said “Death is a mug’s game. I’m not playing.” There is something to be said about being able to live a long and healthy life but the important thing to remember is that life is what you make of it. If you are a miserable person you would simply be miserable for 160 years. The world could be a sucky place for 160 years. You could see disco come back three or four times. That said, the ability to provide this to those you love as well makes it all the much better. There is nothing worse than having to say goodbye much too soon. Very tempting.
8) This is one of my two final choices. First off, this van will give you one of the most important things in the world: time. Think about all of the time you spend in traffic. Every day I spend an hour driving back and forth to work. That is 200 hours a year spent doing nothing. Imagine getting all of that time back. Then add on the ability to travel anywhere you want instantly. Screw having perfect weather, you could go to wherever the weather you want is. No going to airports to travel. You have the magic van and you can take your friends along with you. Hopefully it has a killer stereo system.
9) A while back this may have been more tempting but I have spent years getting adjusted to life in my own skin. I don’t really feel a need to be in anyone else’s. Sure, it would be cool to look like someone who is famous but that isn’t the same as being famous. Just not worth it.
10) My other final choice. You’ll be rich owning this dog but not super rich. You’ll just always make a little money every day. More importantly, you will always have a loving dog by your side who will be with you for the rest of your life. Think about the favorite dog you ever had and know that he or she would never leave you, will always be there at the window when you get home and will love you unconditionally until the end of time. Would it get any better than that?
So I have to choose between the magic van and the wonder dog. And I’m going to weasel out a little by putting in the following qualification. If I can state the dog that I will choose (meaning I can choose one that I already love and know I would want for the rest of my life) I would take the dog. If it is a random dog (meaning that it would most likely be a small, yippy dog that will essentially be nothing more than a gold coin dispenser to me) then I will take the van.
Thoughts? What would you choose?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
They could be twins...
(I just saw another picture of Chastity Bono post-sex change operation and I have to say that she looks exactly like Charlie Weis. I mean put a headset on her, uh him, and put her…I mean him on the Notre Dame sidelines and people will think that we’ve entered a time warp. To be honest it would probably be an upgrade in coaching as well.)
I know that this is strange coming from someone who just complained about the cold yesterday but does it bother anyone else that schools in the northeast were cancelled because it was cold out? That has always annoyed me and I see it much more now than I ever recalled as a kid. We did have school canceled once or twice but those were the fifty below wind chill days where death was a legitimate possibility. It is cold out and I’m glad that my car has heated seats but it is not that bad out there. Go to class.
Otherwise I’ve pretty much got nothing. I find it really odd that there is so much talk about whether or not Jay Cutler quit on the Bears yesterday. There was nothing that I saw that made it look like he quit. He was heading to the locker room well ahead of his teammates at the end of the first half (while the Packers still had a play to go) and I don’t know of any starter period who would be doing that unless he was hurt and was going to get checked out. And as several people have said, it’s not like he hasn’t got the crap knocked out of him all season so why would he choose the biggest game of his career to choose to not play? Doesn’t make sense at all and a torn ligament seems to show that he was right. Basically he was too hurt to be effective and a healthy third string quarterback gave the team a better chance to win than a hurt Cutler.
I know we all live off of the stories of the injured player taking the field and leading his team to victory. More often it is the injured player taking the field and running a rather ineffective offense until he further injures himself and is forced to leave the game. Not everything in life works out like a movie script. And hell, if the Bears would have won the game wouldn’t everyone be praising the fact that the team took out the injured quarterback in order to have a chance to win?
I know that this is strange coming from someone who just complained about the cold yesterday but does it bother anyone else that schools in the northeast were cancelled because it was cold out? That has always annoyed me and I see it much more now than I ever recalled as a kid. We did have school canceled once or twice but those were the fifty below wind chill days where death was a legitimate possibility. It is cold out and I’m glad that my car has heated seats but it is not that bad out there. Go to class.
Otherwise I’ve pretty much got nothing. I find it really odd that there is so much talk about whether or not Jay Cutler quit on the Bears yesterday. There was nothing that I saw that made it look like he quit. He was heading to the locker room well ahead of his teammates at the end of the first half (while the Packers still had a play to go) and I don’t know of any starter period who would be doing that unless he was hurt and was going to get checked out. And as several people have said, it’s not like he hasn’t got the crap knocked out of him all season so why would he choose the biggest game of his career to choose to not play? Doesn’t make sense at all and a torn ligament seems to show that he was right. Basically he was too hurt to be effective and a healthy third string quarterback gave the team a better chance to win than a hurt Cutler.
I know we all live off of the stories of the injured player taking the field and leading his team to victory. More often it is the injured player taking the field and running a rather ineffective offense until he further injures himself and is forced to leave the game. Not everything in life works out like a movie script. And hell, if the Bears would have won the game wouldn’t everyone be praising the fact that the team took out the injured quarterback in order to have a chance to win?
Sunday, January 23, 2011
We'll just cry in our pizza
Well, I guess I am happy that I decided not to live blog the Bears game this afternoon. I thought about it then realized that I had too many other things to take care of than to dedicate three plus hours in front of the television and my laptop and in the end that saved me a great deal of heartache. Basically this post would just be “Oh wow, another incomplete pass…”, “Cutler is playing like crap today”, “Is Todd Collins the drunk Collins quarterback or the vaguely good Collins quarterback or neither” and “Why is the Bears season resting on the shoulders of a quarterback that I have never heard of before? Not in the sense that I didn’t know that he was on the Bears. I haven’t heard of this guy in college or the pros.” That said, I never fault a team for over achieving and no one expected the Bears to get this far at the beginning of the season. Hell, some people had them coming in last in the division.
I’ve also discovered that I’ve either become less of a Chicagoan as I’ve spent a decade now not living in the city or old age has finally caught up to me in terms of the weather. I spent most of my life shrugging off the cold. I often mention the fact that I once went to class when the air temperature was fifteen below zero (and a wind chill in the range of minus forty.) And this was for a 9 AM college class when I was a senior. Hell, I didn’t even have to go; I just went because there was no way a little wind was going to stop me from doing my job. Now, I go outside and it is twenty degrees out and I am just dying. I’m shivering and my fingertips ache (probably due to my walking to a freaking psychology class in below zero weather). I’ve become a snowbird in waiting.
Oh, and I guess I will say right now that I am very upset regarding the television schedule this week. Both How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory are repeats and The Biggest Loser is only going to be an hour due to the State of the Union address. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this country needs to get its priorities straight. A speech regarding our future should not preclude us from watching the two hours of joy that comes from watching obese people exercise. Especially since last week two of the contestants somehow gained nine pounds apiece while on the show. I don’t think I’ve ever gained nine pounds in a week in my life. I don’t know how you do that on a weight loss show.
Also, is it just me or has everyone fallen a bit out of favor with The Big Bang Theory. I don’t know if it is the move to Thursday or just the fact that it has been a real lackluster season but it has gone to one of my favorite shows ever to one that I watch when I get around to it. I’ve missed episodes and I have a few sitting on my DVR that I will watch eventually but I am in no hurry to see. Meanwhile I get upset if I miss an episode of Holmes Inspection, which has taught me to never hire a contractor in Canada. But I want the Big Bang Theory to be good and this season just isn’t working and I don’t know why. The addition of Blossom is good, the Bernadette character is hysterical and Penny and Leonard actually make sense as a broken up couple which is weird given they had no chemistry as an actual couple which is made even more bizarre by the fact that they were dating in real life. Anyone else feel this way?
That is about it. Let’s all be safe out there this week.
Best of 120 Minutes: For some reason I was struggling to think of a song to post tonight and Primus jumped into my head. Two things: 1) I never did get a chance to see these guys in concert and I kind of feel bad about it and 2) I completely forgot about the nachos subplot in this video.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Tift Merritt “Home is Loud”
2) Josh Rouse “El Turista”
3) Liz Phair “Liz Phair”
4) Golden Smog “Weird Tales”
5) Guided by Voices “Human Amusements at Hourly Rates”
I’ve also discovered that I’ve either become less of a Chicagoan as I’ve spent a decade now not living in the city or old age has finally caught up to me in terms of the weather. I spent most of my life shrugging off the cold. I often mention the fact that I once went to class when the air temperature was fifteen below zero (and a wind chill in the range of minus forty.) And this was for a 9 AM college class when I was a senior. Hell, I didn’t even have to go; I just went because there was no way a little wind was going to stop me from doing my job. Now, I go outside and it is twenty degrees out and I am just dying. I’m shivering and my fingertips ache (probably due to my walking to a freaking psychology class in below zero weather). I’ve become a snowbird in waiting.
Oh, and I guess I will say right now that I am very upset regarding the television schedule this week. Both How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory are repeats and The Biggest Loser is only going to be an hour due to the State of the Union address. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this country needs to get its priorities straight. A speech regarding our future should not preclude us from watching the two hours of joy that comes from watching obese people exercise. Especially since last week two of the contestants somehow gained nine pounds apiece while on the show. I don’t think I’ve ever gained nine pounds in a week in my life. I don’t know how you do that on a weight loss show.
Also, is it just me or has everyone fallen a bit out of favor with The Big Bang Theory. I don’t know if it is the move to Thursday or just the fact that it has been a real lackluster season but it has gone to one of my favorite shows ever to one that I watch when I get around to it. I’ve missed episodes and I have a few sitting on my DVR that I will watch eventually but I am in no hurry to see. Meanwhile I get upset if I miss an episode of Holmes Inspection, which has taught me to never hire a contractor in Canada. But I want the Big Bang Theory to be good and this season just isn’t working and I don’t know why. The addition of Blossom is good, the Bernadette character is hysterical and Penny and Leonard actually make sense as a broken up couple which is weird given they had no chemistry as an actual couple which is made even more bizarre by the fact that they were dating in real life. Anyone else feel this way?
That is about it. Let’s all be safe out there this week.
Best of 120 Minutes: For some reason I was struggling to think of a song to post tonight and Primus jumped into my head. Two things: 1) I never did get a chance to see these guys in concert and I kind of feel bad about it and 2) I completely forgot about the nachos subplot in this video.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Tift Merritt “Home is Loud”
2) Josh Rouse “El Turista”
3) Liz Phair “Liz Phair”
4) Golden Smog “Weird Tales”
5) Guided by Voices “Human Amusements at Hourly Rates”
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tiger mothers and other thoughts
Have a few more random notes for the night.
1) I’ve already achieved one of my New Year’s resolutions. Last Sunday this blog received over 200 hits completely shattering my goal of breaking 100. For the record, I was not one of those hits as I took the entire day off from the blog. I assume this means that I was linked to by something though I have no real clue what it could possibly be. Still, great to know that I have readers out there.
2) Here is one of those strange stats I found out while trying to figure out how I go that much traffic. If you use google this site is one of the top links if you a) search for “strawberry shortcake’s enemy” or b) images of Rolos candy. I have no idea why either is the case but I get a surprising amount of traffic from it.
3) I also did find proof that I am still listed as a blogger who supports Funkhouser for mayor of Kansas City and I guess that I will now officially state that I am fully behind keeping the Funk in Kansas City. No town is in more desperate need of funk than KC. Hey, he brought the Chiefs a home playoff game. What more could you want? Plowed streets? A sports arena that actually showcases, you know, sports of some kind?
4) I am glad to see that the Biggest Loser is now letting us know a little more about the level of workouts that the contestants are doing and how we might measure up. As in last night I was slightly slower doing my 5K on a treadmill than two morbidly obese people running a tag team 5K on a treadmill. I’m not sure what my response to that should be. I guess I am roughly as fit as two really fat people put together. That doesn’t sound nearly as impressive as I would like.
5) There is a lot of press around that Tiger Mother book that basically states that the proper way to raise a child is by forcing them to be successful at everything, do not have them participate in sports, and grow up friendless which, now that I think about it, sounds surprisingly like my childhood. Actually, I’m pretty appalled by what I’ve read in the media about the parenting technique because it just sounds like the perfect way to have a kid burn out at 16. I actually wasn’t pressured into being the top student at the expense of everything else. It just happened to be the way I am and I found that my competitive streak was better suited for academics than sports. My parents didn’t push me in any way; they were amazingly supportive.
The reason I say this burns kids out is something I learned in electrical engineering and saw a ton of people suffer from in my MBA program, which is the higher the level of education you go the more likely you are to become average. When I entered EE I went from being one of the smartest people around to being pretty typical. Some classes I was above average, some I was below. That is a huge shot to your ego and not everyone can adjust to it. I was prepared for it in grad school but others weren’t. It is amazing to sit in a room filled with brilliant people during orientation and realize that from this moment on half the people here are below average.
The other thing, and a few commentators have brought this out, is that this whole parenting method is presented as a Chinese thing when in reality it is simply an immigrant thing. All immigrant groups place a focus on their children becoming successful and academics is the easiest path to success. The pressure to do your best is not new to society at all. I was raised to understand that school was important, that college was not expected but required and that the biggest thing at the end of the day is not how well you did but rather that you did your very best. If I was raised any other way I don’t think I would have turned out nearly as well.
1) I’ve already achieved one of my New Year’s resolutions. Last Sunday this blog received over 200 hits completely shattering my goal of breaking 100. For the record, I was not one of those hits as I took the entire day off from the blog. I assume this means that I was linked to by something though I have no real clue what it could possibly be. Still, great to know that I have readers out there.
2) Here is one of those strange stats I found out while trying to figure out how I go that much traffic. If you use google this site is one of the top links if you a) search for “strawberry shortcake’s enemy” or b) images of Rolos candy. I have no idea why either is the case but I get a surprising amount of traffic from it.
3) I also did find proof that I am still listed as a blogger who supports Funkhouser for mayor of Kansas City and I guess that I will now officially state that I am fully behind keeping the Funk in Kansas City. No town is in more desperate need of funk than KC. Hey, he brought the Chiefs a home playoff game. What more could you want? Plowed streets? A sports arena that actually showcases, you know, sports of some kind?
4) I am glad to see that the Biggest Loser is now letting us know a little more about the level of workouts that the contestants are doing and how we might measure up. As in last night I was slightly slower doing my 5K on a treadmill than two morbidly obese people running a tag team 5K on a treadmill. I’m not sure what my response to that should be. I guess I am roughly as fit as two really fat people put together. That doesn’t sound nearly as impressive as I would like.
5) There is a lot of press around that Tiger Mother book that basically states that the proper way to raise a child is by forcing them to be successful at everything, do not have them participate in sports, and grow up friendless which, now that I think about it, sounds surprisingly like my childhood. Actually, I’m pretty appalled by what I’ve read in the media about the parenting technique because it just sounds like the perfect way to have a kid burn out at 16. I actually wasn’t pressured into being the top student at the expense of everything else. It just happened to be the way I am and I found that my competitive streak was better suited for academics than sports. My parents didn’t push me in any way; they were amazingly supportive.
The reason I say this burns kids out is something I learned in electrical engineering and saw a ton of people suffer from in my MBA program, which is the higher the level of education you go the more likely you are to become average. When I entered EE I went from being one of the smartest people around to being pretty typical. Some classes I was above average, some I was below. That is a huge shot to your ego and not everyone can adjust to it. I was prepared for it in grad school but others weren’t. It is amazing to sit in a room filled with brilliant people during orientation and realize that from this moment on half the people here are below average.
The other thing, and a few commentators have brought this out, is that this whole parenting method is presented as a Chinese thing when in reality it is simply an immigrant thing. All immigrant groups place a focus on their children becoming successful and academics is the easiest path to success. The pressure to do your best is not new to society at all. I was raised to understand that school was important, that college was not expected but required and that the biggest thing at the end of the day is not how well you did but rather that you did your very best. If I was raised any other way I don’t think I would have turned out nearly as well.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Shane McGowan must be spinning in his grave and/or gutter
Nothing saddens me more than when television reminds me of just how incredibly old I am. One day you are the king of the world and the next day you are a nonsubstative demographic. And there is nothing that makes a Gen Xer feel quite so old as watching a commercial that uses The Pogues to sell minivans.
It wasn’t always this way. For one brief moment (roughly from 1992 to whenever the Spice Girls topped the charts) Gen X actually ruled the pop culture roost. Heck, even later on we still had some market power. We were a small generation but a rather prolific one from an artistic standpoint. Plus we all got rich from the dot com boom (or so the news media would lead you to believe) so we all had money to spend. Now we have all become hockey moms.
I know this sounds as though I am going a little overboard given all this really means is that someone in an ad agency decided the Pogues would make good background music but it is more than that. First of all, as opposed to how Moby songs are always placed in commercials to the point that you don’t recognize the song this commercial literally uses the first two verses of “If I Should Fall From Grace With God” precisely as they were recorded. The song is the focus of the commercial. But, even though it is the focus, there is absolutely no connection between the song and what is happening in the commercial. I’m pretty sure that Shane McGowan did not have little kids playing hockey in mind while writing the song. In fact, other than the use of the word “boys” repeatedly in the song I can’t think of a single connection between the song and the commercial.
No, the real reason they are promoting mini-vans with The Pogues is the simple fact that those of us who listened to The Pogues are now at an age where we need to buy mini-vans. This song was released in 1988, when I was a sophomore in high school. Pretty much anyone who was influenced by this song when it was first released is now seriously thinking about having a roomy third row seat.
Part of me wants to stand up and scream and yell that this isn’t true. That Gen X has not reached the point where we are all going to settle down and live happy little suburban lives. That is not what our generation is about. But then I get to thinking that I will be getting married soon and I will be the last, or at least close to the last, of my high school class to get married. Hell, I’ve probably been lapped in terms of the number of marriages. Thanks to Facebook I know that classmates of mine have kids in high school already. I hate to admit it but if you owned a Pogues cassette tape in high school you probably do need to look into investing in a mini-van right about now.
I’ve always wondered what drives a mid-life crisis. I’ve always assumed that it is the realization that your life is conceivably half over and you haven’t accomplished anything that you set out to do or even come close to becoming the person you envisioned. It might be worse now. Today your midlife crisis is driven by having the cultural of your youth served back to you in order to sell you products for your adulthood. Thirty years from now I am going to hear Nirvana songs used to sell me on retirement property. I’m not sure there is a convertible that I could buy to make that existential ache go away.
So before the song gets inevitably tied to little tykes skating here is The Pogues performing If I Should Fall From Grace With God the way it was meant to be played: raw, raucous and with the unnerving suspicion that Shane is so drunk he cannot see the crowd in front of him.
It wasn’t always this way. For one brief moment (roughly from 1992 to whenever the Spice Girls topped the charts) Gen X actually ruled the pop culture roost. Heck, even later on we still had some market power. We were a small generation but a rather prolific one from an artistic standpoint. Plus we all got rich from the dot com boom (or so the news media would lead you to believe) so we all had money to spend. Now we have all become hockey moms.
I know this sounds as though I am going a little overboard given all this really means is that someone in an ad agency decided the Pogues would make good background music but it is more than that. First of all, as opposed to how Moby songs are always placed in commercials to the point that you don’t recognize the song this commercial literally uses the first two verses of “If I Should Fall From Grace With God” precisely as they were recorded. The song is the focus of the commercial. But, even though it is the focus, there is absolutely no connection between the song and what is happening in the commercial. I’m pretty sure that Shane McGowan did not have little kids playing hockey in mind while writing the song. In fact, other than the use of the word “boys” repeatedly in the song I can’t think of a single connection between the song and the commercial.
No, the real reason they are promoting mini-vans with The Pogues is the simple fact that those of us who listened to The Pogues are now at an age where we need to buy mini-vans. This song was released in 1988, when I was a sophomore in high school. Pretty much anyone who was influenced by this song when it was first released is now seriously thinking about having a roomy third row seat.
Part of me wants to stand up and scream and yell that this isn’t true. That Gen X has not reached the point where we are all going to settle down and live happy little suburban lives. That is not what our generation is about. But then I get to thinking that I will be getting married soon and I will be the last, or at least close to the last, of my high school class to get married. Hell, I’ve probably been lapped in terms of the number of marriages. Thanks to Facebook I know that classmates of mine have kids in high school already. I hate to admit it but if you owned a Pogues cassette tape in high school you probably do need to look into investing in a mini-van right about now.
I’ve always wondered what drives a mid-life crisis. I’ve always assumed that it is the realization that your life is conceivably half over and you haven’t accomplished anything that you set out to do or even come close to becoming the person you envisioned. It might be worse now. Today your midlife crisis is driven by having the cultural of your youth served back to you in order to sell you products for your adulthood. Thirty years from now I am going to hear Nirvana songs used to sell me on retirement property. I’m not sure there is a convertible that I could buy to make that existential ache go away.
So before the song gets inevitably tied to little tykes skating here is The Pogues performing If I Should Fall From Grace With God the way it was meant to be played: raw, raucous and with the unnerving suspicion that Shane is so drunk he cannot see the crowd in front of him.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Have you ever noticed...
Some thoughts from the past couple of days…
1) We had a decent sized snow storm last week. Nothing too bad but enough to make driving a little tricky especially given that part of my daily drive is on a two lane road that passes for a major street in the wonderful world that is Delaware. Yes, the best way to go north / south in the state is using a two lane route that features more hills and blind curves than you could ever imagine. Well, while driving home after the storm on this road I found myself caught behind a guy riding a bicycle who was in the dead center of my lane. My 45 mph speed limit lane. I had two thoughts. A) It is really tough to pass a bicyclist when doing so would entail a head on collision and B) While I am all for helping the environment and reducing gasoline consumption it is January so get in a damn car.
2) Given all of my air travel you would think I would have had to do this sooner but I finally was forced to go through one of those airline screener machines. You know, one of those that caused the entire “Don’t touch my junk” debate from a few months ago that no one remembers now. Had to go through one at Philly and it was a pretty unmemorable experience. The only annoying thing is that you have to empty everything out of your pockets and I mean everything. I had to go through extra screening because I had a packet of breathstrips in my back pocket so maybe it is a little intense.
3) Ricky Gervais got in trouble at the Golden Globes for making fun of rich, famous people. This tells us two things. The first is that rich, famous people cannot take a joke to save their lives. The second thing is that the only way for people to give a damn about the Golden Globes is for rich, famous people to be insulted during the ceremony. Otherwise the whole thing is about as spontaneous as Wrestlemania and roughly as relevant. Hell, they gave an acting award to Pia Zadora once.
4) Yes I am overjoyed that my Bears are in the NFC Championship game against the hated Green Bay Packers. There is no hate quite like the Chicago vs. Wisconsin hate. It is a war based on one side having culture and nightlife while the other side has trees and, uh, cheese. Seriously, no one lives in Wisconsin on purpose. At best people view it as a way of serving their time in Purgatory on Earth. At worst it is just a bunch of people who consider Minnesota too cold and Canada too exciting.
5) As part of my weight loss routine I am using EA Active 2.0 and I have to say that this is easily the best version yet. While I still don’t think that it gives the best upper body workout this iteration can be absolutely cruel when it comes to cardio. Apparently I am incapable of doing mountain climbers without feeling as though my entire body is about to collapse in pain. I know people joke about using the Wii as a way to get fit but if you want a less intimidating way to start your workout program this is definitely a way to start.
1) We had a decent sized snow storm last week. Nothing too bad but enough to make driving a little tricky especially given that part of my daily drive is on a two lane road that passes for a major street in the wonderful world that is Delaware. Yes, the best way to go north / south in the state is using a two lane route that features more hills and blind curves than you could ever imagine. Well, while driving home after the storm on this road I found myself caught behind a guy riding a bicycle who was in the dead center of my lane. My 45 mph speed limit lane. I had two thoughts. A) It is really tough to pass a bicyclist when doing so would entail a head on collision and B) While I am all for helping the environment and reducing gasoline consumption it is January so get in a damn car.
2) Given all of my air travel you would think I would have had to do this sooner but I finally was forced to go through one of those airline screener machines. You know, one of those that caused the entire “Don’t touch my junk” debate from a few months ago that no one remembers now. Had to go through one at Philly and it was a pretty unmemorable experience. The only annoying thing is that you have to empty everything out of your pockets and I mean everything. I had to go through extra screening because I had a packet of breathstrips in my back pocket so maybe it is a little intense.
3) Ricky Gervais got in trouble at the Golden Globes for making fun of rich, famous people. This tells us two things. The first is that rich, famous people cannot take a joke to save their lives. The second thing is that the only way for people to give a damn about the Golden Globes is for rich, famous people to be insulted during the ceremony. Otherwise the whole thing is about as spontaneous as Wrestlemania and roughly as relevant. Hell, they gave an acting award to Pia Zadora once.
4) Yes I am overjoyed that my Bears are in the NFC Championship game against the hated Green Bay Packers. There is no hate quite like the Chicago vs. Wisconsin hate. It is a war based on one side having culture and nightlife while the other side has trees and, uh, cheese. Seriously, no one lives in Wisconsin on purpose. At best people view it as a way of serving their time in Purgatory on Earth. At worst it is just a bunch of people who consider Minnesota too cold and Canada too exciting.
5) As part of my weight loss routine I am using EA Active 2.0 and I have to say that this is easily the best version yet. While I still don’t think that it gives the best upper body workout this iteration can be absolutely cruel when it comes to cardio. Apparently I am incapable of doing mountain climbers without feeling as though my entire body is about to collapse in pain. I know people joke about using the Wii as a way to get fit but if you want a less intimidating way to start your workout program this is definitely a way to start.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
My 2011 New Year's Resolutions
After much delay here are my 2011 New Year’s Resolutions. Keep them handy in order to taunt me about how horrible a person I am. Or at least so you can refer to me as an utter failure. Anyway, here they are.
Resolution #1: Get my weight down to 185 pounds: I’m at about 195 right now with 190 being the high end of the “normal” weight range for my height. I think that 185 will be a good weight for me to be at and is certainly achievable. That would still take another ten pounds of fat off my frame (and 30 pounds from the heaviest version of me that has waddled around the planet) and should leave me fairly healthy. I use weight because it would be a good measure of fitness but I have another resolution that fits into this category…
Resolution #2: Run a 5K in less than my age: That would technically be in under 37 minutes (though if I wait until after September I can do it in under 38 minutes). I know that doesn’t sound too impressive and in college I was able to run consistently under 30 minutes (not superstar speed but better than a couch potato) but I think this would be a big accomplishment for someone with my background. I’ve already cut my time on the treadmill down from about 44 minutes to 39 minutes but I really want to do this in a real, outdoors, 5K.
Resolution #3: Write 125,000 words in the blog this year: That is the equivalent of writing five 500 word posts a week for 50 weeks. I know that for years I kept a solid five days a week writing schedule but because of my life and my job that has gotten much tougher. My laptop is not always conveniently by my side and some nights I just have more things to do. That said, if I can’t write a post one night maybe I can make it up by writing more detailed posts another night. It is worth a shot.
Resolution #4: Get 100 visits in a day per Blogger stats: I would still like to see this blog get some real traffic if just because I think it would be cool to know that 100 people checked out what I wrote on a given day. I’ve certainly gotten visitors from around the world and had commenters from everywhere but it would be nice to increase my overall readership.
Resolution #5: Learn how to cook healthy meals: I still don’t really know how to cook and I certainly don’t know how to cook a healthy meal. I basically know how to heat things that came in prepackaged materials. This is actually a good thing since it means that I have no bad habits to unlearn as I start on a path towards being healthy.
Resolution #6: Read 50 books this year: It is certainly a stretch goal as I don’t know if I have ever read that many books in a year but I think it would be great if I can read a book a week. It is interesting that in the past few years I have started to watch much less television but have spent more time reading (which would probably hurt my chances at trivia now that I think about it.) Reading forces me to spend less time watching television or surfing the internet and that is a really good thing.
Resolution #7: Reader’s Choice: Yes, once again I leave it to my faithful readers to tell me what I should do this year. What do you think is the best step that I could take to improve myself? What fun task must I do to prove my worth? Put your best ideas in the comments.
Resolution #8: Send out my monthly email reports: After I finished grad school I started sending out monthly emails about my life to a group of my friends. As I’ve said on a few occasions I never really did it because I felt that my life was that interesting. I was living in KC at the time; by definition it could not be interesting. But it was my way of staying in touch with everyone and it worked wonders. Over the past year I really fell out of the habit though and I would really like to get back to the old days of every month writing my friends and updating them on what is going on in my neck of the woods. I just find it a neat thing to do.
Resolution #9: Be More Assertive: One of the really strange aspects of my personality is that while I am really smart and typically know what needs to be done I have no assertiveness at all. Hell, at times just making a phone call can be rather difficult. That is a silly habit that just needs to stop. I’ve accomplished too much in life to not feel the initiative to take a hold of things.
Resolution #10: Be the best husband that I can be: Sometimes it is hard for me to grasp that it won’t be long until I am married and I will add husband to my list of duties. I have to admit that I am still learning how relationships work (I’ve now been with Kim longer than every other relationship I’ve had put together and that is being nice and counting girls I went and had coffee with as a “relationship”) and I screw up a hell of a lot of the time. But I am learning from my mistakes and I’m improving. All I want to do is be the best version of me that I can possibly be for Kim. It’s a nice goal to have.
Resolution #1: Get my weight down to 185 pounds: I’m at about 195 right now with 190 being the high end of the “normal” weight range for my height. I think that 185 will be a good weight for me to be at and is certainly achievable. That would still take another ten pounds of fat off my frame (and 30 pounds from the heaviest version of me that has waddled around the planet) and should leave me fairly healthy. I use weight because it would be a good measure of fitness but I have another resolution that fits into this category…
Resolution #2: Run a 5K in less than my age: That would technically be in under 37 minutes (though if I wait until after September I can do it in under 38 minutes). I know that doesn’t sound too impressive and in college I was able to run consistently under 30 minutes (not superstar speed but better than a couch potato) but I think this would be a big accomplishment for someone with my background. I’ve already cut my time on the treadmill down from about 44 minutes to 39 minutes but I really want to do this in a real, outdoors, 5K.
Resolution #3: Write 125,000 words in the blog this year: That is the equivalent of writing five 500 word posts a week for 50 weeks. I know that for years I kept a solid five days a week writing schedule but because of my life and my job that has gotten much tougher. My laptop is not always conveniently by my side and some nights I just have more things to do. That said, if I can’t write a post one night maybe I can make it up by writing more detailed posts another night. It is worth a shot.
Resolution #4: Get 100 visits in a day per Blogger stats: I would still like to see this blog get some real traffic if just because I think it would be cool to know that 100 people checked out what I wrote on a given day. I’ve certainly gotten visitors from around the world and had commenters from everywhere but it would be nice to increase my overall readership.
Resolution #5: Learn how to cook healthy meals: I still don’t really know how to cook and I certainly don’t know how to cook a healthy meal. I basically know how to heat things that came in prepackaged materials. This is actually a good thing since it means that I have no bad habits to unlearn as I start on a path towards being healthy.
Resolution #6: Read 50 books this year: It is certainly a stretch goal as I don’t know if I have ever read that many books in a year but I think it would be great if I can read a book a week. It is interesting that in the past few years I have started to watch much less television but have spent more time reading (which would probably hurt my chances at trivia now that I think about it.) Reading forces me to spend less time watching television or surfing the internet and that is a really good thing.
Resolution #7: Reader’s Choice: Yes, once again I leave it to my faithful readers to tell me what I should do this year. What do you think is the best step that I could take to improve myself? What fun task must I do to prove my worth? Put your best ideas in the comments.
Resolution #8: Send out my monthly email reports: After I finished grad school I started sending out monthly emails about my life to a group of my friends. As I’ve said on a few occasions I never really did it because I felt that my life was that interesting. I was living in KC at the time; by definition it could not be interesting. But it was my way of staying in touch with everyone and it worked wonders. Over the past year I really fell out of the habit though and I would really like to get back to the old days of every month writing my friends and updating them on what is going on in my neck of the woods. I just find it a neat thing to do.
Resolution #9: Be More Assertive: One of the really strange aspects of my personality is that while I am really smart and typically know what needs to be done I have no assertiveness at all. Hell, at times just making a phone call can be rather difficult. That is a silly habit that just needs to stop. I’ve accomplished too much in life to not feel the initiative to take a hold of things.
Resolution #10: Be the best husband that I can be: Sometimes it is hard for me to grasp that it won’t be long until I am married and I will add husband to my list of duties. I have to admit that I am still learning how relationships work (I’ve now been with Kim longer than every other relationship I’ve had put together and that is being nice and counting girls I went and had coffee with as a “relationship”) and I screw up a hell of a lot of the time. But I am learning from my mistakes and I’m improving. All I want to do is be the best version of me that I can possibly be for Kim. It’s a nice goal to have.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Thoughts on Arizona
I was going to post my 2011 resolutions tonight but news events (and a late flight) have made me change plans. I’ll write about my resolutions tomorrow because tonight I want to give my thoughts on the tragedy in Arizona. And it truly is a tragedy, any time that six innocent people are killed and many more wounded for nothing more than wanting to meet their congressperson it is truly a tragedy.
The first thing I want to touch upon is just how tough it is to get reliable information at the beginning of a story like this. I happened to flip on CNN right as the story broke so I was able to watch all the conflicting stories come across including multiple conflicting reports as to whether or not the congressperson was alive or not. It is a bit of a curse of the 24 hour news cycle. At times there is no news and minor stories get played into national issues (anyone heard anything about the New York mosque recently?) but in a breaking story everyone must break the news first and in a case like this the first reports are almost certainly wrong. Everyone is confused in a situation like this and it always takes a little time for the truth to come out.
The second point, which is also pointed at the media and the general public, is how quick people are to assign motive and place blame before any information is known and I speak of this from personal experience. If you check the blog archives on the night of the Virginia Tech shooting I posted my thoughts on the event with the assumption that the shooter was an engineering student who cracked under the pressure of school. While I still stand by what I said that night about the pressures placed on students I was completely and utterly wrong about the motive and I am a little ashamed of my post as a result.
The same case is at play here. Within an hour people were blaming inflammatory political speech and the heated political climate as the reason for the shooting without knowing if the shooter was left wing or right wing or just a maladjusted, mentally unstable young man. Assassination attempts do not have to have political causes. John Hinckley shot Reagan in an attempt to impress Jodie Foster. Until more information is known making wild speculations typically makes the situation worse.
This is not the same as my condoning the current level of political discourse in the country. I pretty much hate it. I dislike the fact that hatred has come into play in politics at a level that I have never seen before. I would love to see things calm down and more rational voices be heard. One can disagree with another’s view without comparing them to Hitler. But at the end of the day I am a free speech advocate and that means I must protect the rights of people to say things that I hate so while I wish people would dial down the rhetoric I will in no way try to force them to do so.
(I also find it moving and symbolic that during the Constitution reading last week Congresswoman Gifford read the first amendment because the fact that we have a first amendment allows us to avoid violent political action being a common occurrence.)
My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families. I do hope that we learn something from this tragedy even if it is only getting a greater sense of how precious life is.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Howie Day “Australia”
2) Immaculate Machine “Ones and Zeros”
3) Zachary Richard “The Best of Zachary Richard”
4) Wilco “Sky Blue Sky”
5) Tori Amos “Little Earthquakes”
The first thing I want to touch upon is just how tough it is to get reliable information at the beginning of a story like this. I happened to flip on CNN right as the story broke so I was able to watch all the conflicting stories come across including multiple conflicting reports as to whether or not the congressperson was alive or not. It is a bit of a curse of the 24 hour news cycle. At times there is no news and minor stories get played into national issues (anyone heard anything about the New York mosque recently?) but in a breaking story everyone must break the news first and in a case like this the first reports are almost certainly wrong. Everyone is confused in a situation like this and it always takes a little time for the truth to come out.
The second point, which is also pointed at the media and the general public, is how quick people are to assign motive and place blame before any information is known and I speak of this from personal experience. If you check the blog archives on the night of the Virginia Tech shooting I posted my thoughts on the event with the assumption that the shooter was an engineering student who cracked under the pressure of school. While I still stand by what I said that night about the pressures placed on students I was completely and utterly wrong about the motive and I am a little ashamed of my post as a result.
The same case is at play here. Within an hour people were blaming inflammatory political speech and the heated political climate as the reason for the shooting without knowing if the shooter was left wing or right wing or just a maladjusted, mentally unstable young man. Assassination attempts do not have to have political causes. John Hinckley shot Reagan in an attempt to impress Jodie Foster. Until more information is known making wild speculations typically makes the situation worse.
This is not the same as my condoning the current level of political discourse in the country. I pretty much hate it. I dislike the fact that hatred has come into play in politics at a level that I have never seen before. I would love to see things calm down and more rational voices be heard. One can disagree with another’s view without comparing them to Hitler. But at the end of the day I am a free speech advocate and that means I must protect the rights of people to say things that I hate so while I wish people would dial down the rhetoric I will in no way try to force them to do so.
(I also find it moving and symbolic that during the Constitution reading last week Congresswoman Gifford read the first amendment because the fact that we have a first amendment allows us to avoid violent political action being a common occurrence.)
My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families. I do hope that we learn something from this tragedy even if it is only getting a greater sense of how precious life is.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Howie Day “Australia”
2) Immaculate Machine “Ones and Zeros”
3) Zachary Richard “The Best of Zachary Richard”
4) Wilco “Sky Blue Sky”
5) Tori Amos “Little Earthquakes”
Friday, January 07, 2011
The complete 2010 booklist
Just for completeness sake here is the full list of all of the books I read in 2010 in case you want to compare your reading habits to mine. Or, consider it a simple way for me to make up a missed blog post. My 2011 New Year’s Resolutions will be posted on Sunday.
1) “What the Dog Saw” Malcolm Gladwell
2) “The Essential Book of Useless Information” Don Voorhees
3) “The World Without Us” Alan Weisman
4) “Lost in a Good Book” Jasper Fforde
5) “Debunked!” Richard Roeper
6) “Ring of Hell” Matthew Randazzo
7) “In Cold Blood” Truman Capote
8) “Why New Orleans Matters” Tom Piazza
9) “The Unnamed” Joshua Ferris
10) “Inventory” The Onion A.V. Club
11) “Game Change” John Heilemann and Mark Halperin
12) “Revenant” Carolyn Haines
13) “Little Wars” H. G. Wells
14) “The Pluto Files” Neil DeGrasse Tyson
15) “M is for Magic” Neil Gaiman
16) “American On Purpose” Craig Ferguson
17) “Stuff White People Like” Christian Lander
18) “Boomsday” Christopher Buckley
19) “The Watchman” Robert Crais
20) “Are We Winning?” Will Leitch
21) “In Defense of Food” Michael Pollan
22) “The Big Short” Michael Lewis
23) “The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake” Aimee Bender
24) “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future” Michael J. Fox
25) “No Country for Old Men” Cormac McCarthy
26) “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Burrows
27) “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Stieg Larson
28) “Packing for Mars” Mary Roach
29) “Super Sad True Love Story” Gary Shytengart
30) “Lies the Government Told You” Andrew Napolitano
31) “Don’t Vote It Just Encourages Them” P.J. O’Rourke
32) “The Graveyard Book” Neil Gaiman
33) “The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to our Brains” Nicholas Carr
34) “At Home: A Short History of Private Life” Bill Bryson
35) “Earth: The Book” Jon Stewart
36) “Stiff” Mary Roach
37) “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim” David Sedaris
38) “Written on the Body” Jeanette Winterson
39) “21 Dog Years” Mike Daisey
40) “Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me” Edited by Ben Karlin
41) “Naked” David Sedaris
42) “Antony and Cleopatra” William Shakespeare
1) “What the Dog Saw” Malcolm Gladwell
2) “The Essential Book of Useless Information” Don Voorhees
3) “The World Without Us” Alan Weisman
4) “Lost in a Good Book” Jasper Fforde
5) “Debunked!” Richard Roeper
6) “Ring of Hell” Matthew Randazzo
7) “In Cold Blood” Truman Capote
8) “Why New Orleans Matters” Tom Piazza
9) “The Unnamed” Joshua Ferris
10) “Inventory” The Onion A.V. Club
11) “Game Change” John Heilemann and Mark Halperin
12) “Revenant” Carolyn Haines
13) “Little Wars” H. G. Wells
14) “The Pluto Files” Neil DeGrasse Tyson
15) “M is for Magic” Neil Gaiman
16) “American On Purpose” Craig Ferguson
17) “Stuff White People Like” Christian Lander
18) “Boomsday” Christopher Buckley
19) “The Watchman” Robert Crais
20) “Are We Winning?” Will Leitch
21) “In Defense of Food” Michael Pollan
22) “The Big Short” Michael Lewis
23) “The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake” Aimee Bender
24) “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future” Michael J. Fox
25) “No Country for Old Men” Cormac McCarthy
26) “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Burrows
27) “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Stieg Larson
28) “Packing for Mars” Mary Roach
29) “Super Sad True Love Story” Gary Shytengart
30) “Lies the Government Told You” Andrew Napolitano
31) “Don’t Vote It Just Encourages Them” P.J. O’Rourke
32) “The Graveyard Book” Neil Gaiman
33) “The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to our Brains” Nicholas Carr
34) “At Home: A Short History of Private Life” Bill Bryson
35) “Earth: The Book” Jon Stewart
36) “Stiff” Mary Roach
37) “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim” David Sedaris
38) “Written on the Body” Jeanette Winterson
39) “21 Dog Years” Mike Daisey
40) “Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me” Edited by Ben Karlin
41) “Naked” David Sedaris
42) “Antony and Cleopatra” William Shakespeare
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
2010 Booklist
As some people know I have kept track of every book that I have read since 1998. Pretty much everything you need to know about me can be explained via that one sentence. The only thing that would surprise people is that it is in a Word document and not a spreadsheet (though I do note how long it took me to read each book.) I finished 42 books in 2010 and thought that I would give some highlights of what was on my reading list last year.
“The World Without Us” by Alan Weisman: Ever wonder if the planet would be a better place if we all simply left and handed things back over to the plants and animals? Well here is your chance to find out. This is the book that led to the several Life After People television specials that featured wonderful computer generated images of just how everything that we have built will simply crumble to the ground in fifty years and in a few thousand years there will be no evidence that we were even here, except for some patches of contaminated soil. An interesting read though not what one might call uplifting.
“Ring of Hell” by Matthew Randazzo: As I’ve said in the past I allow myself to read one pro wrestling book each year. Otherwise my reading list could become overwhelmed with things like autobiographies by “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiasie. This book looked at the life and death of Chris Benoit, someone who was one of my absolute favorite wrestlers of all time which makes the fact that he murdered his wife and son and then committed suicide all the more troubling. There are some issues with the book but it gives a view into the really dark side of pro wrestling as the wear and tear and constant concussions drive a seemingly normal person to commit the most heinous act one could ever imagine.
“In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote: This probably counts as my piece of classic literature this year. Though it starts slow this is such an amazing book as it marks a change in both the nature of non-fiction and essentially introduces the true crime genre of literature. Capote does an amazing job capturing what it is like in west Kansas and just how random the events that took place were.
“The Unnamed” by Joshua Ferris: My favorite novel of the year. The story of a man who cannot control the fact that at random points in his life he must stand up and start walking. He doesn’t know where he will walk or why or for how long. He just starts walking and cannot control it. I know the premise seems to be a bit out there but how the author ties this into how he relates with his family and relationships results in one of the most striking books that I have read in ages. I strongly encourage people to give this book a try.
“The Pluto Files” by Neil DeGrasse Tyson: Neil likes to state that it isn’t really his fault that Pluto is no longer a planet but you know what? It’s his damn fault. He’s the one who removed it from the list at the New York Planetarium so he innately approved of its removal from planethood. Well I like Pluto and feel that having nine planets in our solar system is only natural so screw you Prof. Tyson.
“American on Purpose” by Craig Ferguson: I wish I was younger and / or less employed so that I could stay up later and watch Craig Ferguson. I’ve only caught small bits of his late night show and I’ve greatly enjoyed them and his autobiography fits right in. Just an amazing story about his life as a comic and his battle with alcoholism. The guy is truly one of a kind and while I’m not one to typically recommend television personality autobiographies this is a good one to read.
“Are We Winning” by Will Leitch: I should note that Will is a fellow Illini and was a year behind me at school and was quite possibly on the team that beat me in the finals of the Intramural Sports Trivia competition. This book is about baseball and how we use baseball to bond with our fathers. It also focuses on the Cubs – Cardinals rivalry and if you are a fan of either team or have an undying hatred for either team that adds to the insight. Another good book by the founder of Deadspin and the guy whose career I wish I had.
“The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake” by Aimee Bender: The story of a girl who when she eats food she experiences the emotions of the person who made it or even of the factory where the food came from. Also a story of what it means to be considered a genius at a young age only to grow up and find out you really aren’t that special after all. I’m still not quite sure I understood everything that went on in this book but I was glad that I read it.
“No Country for Old Men” by Cormac McCarthy: I’ll just quote something I read this week: “Everything in life is debatable except for Cormac McCarthy.”
“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” by Stieg Larson: Yes, I did read this book. Look, I spend half my life in airports so I feel as though I was required to read it. It is certainly a fun murder mystery that keeps you guessing throughout while teaching you more about Swedish journalism and the intricacies of Nordic legal systems than you would ever really care to know about. Even though the book has a great plot and unique characters I’m more than a bit surprised that it has become such a huge hit. On the surface it just doesn’t seem like a book that would connect with the mainstream American audience.
“Super Sad True Love Story” by Gary Shytengart: A novel that takes place in the near future where everyone is a blogger and the most important thing in your life is your credit score. I guess that means that this novel takes place next Tuesday. This is one of those books with two narrators so you spend it going back and forth and while that is an interesting literary device I have yet to find a book where that doesn’t result in you wishing this chapter would be over so you could get back to the narrator you like. Also this is quite possibly the only book that puts a precise dollar value on immortality.
“Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim” and “Naked” by David Sedaris: I should note that I also read “Stuff White People Like” this year and David Sedaris was listed as, well, something white people like. What I found interesting about him is that while I love him as a humorist I don’t find myself laughing when I read his work. It is funny but not in a punch line sort of way. I think this hits me because that is more along the lines of when I am best as a writer. I like to consider myself a writer of humorous essays but I do not have that natural punch line timing of a comic. Typically when I try to write that way it falls incredibly flat. I’m more suited to writing in a subdued style where the humor is there but it isn’t hitting you over the head.
“Antony and Cleopatra” by William Shakespeare: I end every year by reading a new Shakespeare play and this year it was time to go to ancient Rome where life is basically one big episode of the Real Housewives of Alexandria. In essence, Cleopatra is bipolar, Antony can’t do anything correctly including kill himself and Caesar is really Octavian though he is called Caesar the entire play despite the fact that this just confuses everyone into thinking that it refers to Julius Caesar. Not one of the bard’s best works though the scene of Cleopatra beating the crap out of a messenger for bringing bad news is all kinds of awesome.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I think all alarm clocks should be reprogramed to go off with Arcade Fire’s “Ready to Start.” No one would sleep late again.
“The World Without Us” by Alan Weisman: Ever wonder if the planet would be a better place if we all simply left and handed things back over to the plants and animals? Well here is your chance to find out. This is the book that led to the several Life After People television specials that featured wonderful computer generated images of just how everything that we have built will simply crumble to the ground in fifty years and in a few thousand years there will be no evidence that we were even here, except for some patches of contaminated soil. An interesting read though not what one might call uplifting.
“Ring of Hell” by Matthew Randazzo: As I’ve said in the past I allow myself to read one pro wrestling book each year. Otherwise my reading list could become overwhelmed with things like autobiographies by “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiasie. This book looked at the life and death of Chris Benoit, someone who was one of my absolute favorite wrestlers of all time which makes the fact that he murdered his wife and son and then committed suicide all the more troubling. There are some issues with the book but it gives a view into the really dark side of pro wrestling as the wear and tear and constant concussions drive a seemingly normal person to commit the most heinous act one could ever imagine.
“In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote: This probably counts as my piece of classic literature this year. Though it starts slow this is such an amazing book as it marks a change in both the nature of non-fiction and essentially introduces the true crime genre of literature. Capote does an amazing job capturing what it is like in west Kansas and just how random the events that took place were.
“The Unnamed” by Joshua Ferris: My favorite novel of the year. The story of a man who cannot control the fact that at random points in his life he must stand up and start walking. He doesn’t know where he will walk or why or for how long. He just starts walking and cannot control it. I know the premise seems to be a bit out there but how the author ties this into how he relates with his family and relationships results in one of the most striking books that I have read in ages. I strongly encourage people to give this book a try.
“The Pluto Files” by Neil DeGrasse Tyson: Neil likes to state that it isn’t really his fault that Pluto is no longer a planet but you know what? It’s his damn fault. He’s the one who removed it from the list at the New York Planetarium so he innately approved of its removal from planethood. Well I like Pluto and feel that having nine planets in our solar system is only natural so screw you Prof. Tyson.
“American on Purpose” by Craig Ferguson: I wish I was younger and / or less employed so that I could stay up later and watch Craig Ferguson. I’ve only caught small bits of his late night show and I’ve greatly enjoyed them and his autobiography fits right in. Just an amazing story about his life as a comic and his battle with alcoholism. The guy is truly one of a kind and while I’m not one to typically recommend television personality autobiographies this is a good one to read.
“Are We Winning” by Will Leitch: I should note that Will is a fellow Illini and was a year behind me at school and was quite possibly on the team that beat me in the finals of the Intramural Sports Trivia competition. This book is about baseball and how we use baseball to bond with our fathers. It also focuses on the Cubs – Cardinals rivalry and if you are a fan of either team or have an undying hatred for either team that adds to the insight. Another good book by the founder of Deadspin and the guy whose career I wish I had.
“The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake” by Aimee Bender: The story of a girl who when she eats food she experiences the emotions of the person who made it or even of the factory where the food came from. Also a story of what it means to be considered a genius at a young age only to grow up and find out you really aren’t that special after all. I’m still not quite sure I understood everything that went on in this book but I was glad that I read it.
“No Country for Old Men” by Cormac McCarthy: I’ll just quote something I read this week: “Everything in life is debatable except for Cormac McCarthy.”
“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” by Stieg Larson: Yes, I did read this book. Look, I spend half my life in airports so I feel as though I was required to read it. It is certainly a fun murder mystery that keeps you guessing throughout while teaching you more about Swedish journalism and the intricacies of Nordic legal systems than you would ever really care to know about. Even though the book has a great plot and unique characters I’m more than a bit surprised that it has become such a huge hit. On the surface it just doesn’t seem like a book that would connect with the mainstream American audience.
“Super Sad True Love Story” by Gary Shytengart: A novel that takes place in the near future where everyone is a blogger and the most important thing in your life is your credit score. I guess that means that this novel takes place next Tuesday. This is one of those books with two narrators so you spend it going back and forth and while that is an interesting literary device I have yet to find a book where that doesn’t result in you wishing this chapter would be over so you could get back to the narrator you like. Also this is quite possibly the only book that puts a precise dollar value on immortality.
“Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim” and “Naked” by David Sedaris: I should note that I also read “Stuff White People Like” this year and David Sedaris was listed as, well, something white people like. What I found interesting about him is that while I love him as a humorist I don’t find myself laughing when I read his work. It is funny but not in a punch line sort of way. I think this hits me because that is more along the lines of when I am best as a writer. I like to consider myself a writer of humorous essays but I do not have that natural punch line timing of a comic. Typically when I try to write that way it falls incredibly flat. I’m more suited to writing in a subdued style where the humor is there but it isn’t hitting you over the head.
“Antony and Cleopatra” by William Shakespeare: I end every year by reading a new Shakespeare play and this year it was time to go to ancient Rome where life is basically one big episode of the Real Housewives of Alexandria. In essence, Cleopatra is bipolar, Antony can’t do anything correctly including kill himself and Caesar is really Octavian though he is called Caesar the entire play despite the fact that this just confuses everyone into thinking that it refers to Julius Caesar. Not one of the bard’s best works though the scene of Cleopatra beating the crap out of a messenger for bringing bad news is all kinds of awesome.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I think all alarm clocks should be reprogramed to go off with Arcade Fire’s “Ready to Start.” No one would sleep late again.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Might as well reprint those Free Lindsay shirts
(Yes that was a rather heartrending episode of How I Met Your Mother last night. Sadly I had the ending spoiled for me before I had a chance to watch it (damn you Facebook) but it still hit pretty hard. I don’t want to spoil it here but I will say that the episode was amazingly constructed and makes perfect sense when you realize that over the course of the series the show has never been a typical “ha ha” sitcom. There has always been a running plot on how these characters are becoming adults and dealing with a lot of those issues in a very realistic way.)
In a case of good news and bad news My Beloved Lindsay is out of rehab but may have to go to jail on a parole violation. Which of those is good news and which is bad news is really left for the reader to decide. And the whole going to prison thing is so a non-Hollywood thing. Really, when was the last time you saw one of these starlets actually have to do any real time for their actions. I know that the California prison system is overcrowded but I think we could find a little space in a closet somewhere to place a Lohan or a Hilton. They are rather thin and should be easily stackable.
Keeping with the celebrity news Snooki from the Jersey Shore has written a novel so add her name to the list of people who have been able to get a novel published before me. Yeah, fifteen plus years spent slaving away at a manuscript, six years blogging in an effort to catch the eye of an agent, and an orange midget who can’t even properly spell her own name is somehow able to land a publishing deal. I would really like to know if she has even read her own book. We all know that she didn’t write it; I legitimately want to know if she took the time to sit down and read it.
Oh, and Taylor Swift broke up with a Gyllenhall and is now back on the market, which just happens to correspond with my blog post where I say awfully nice things about her. Not that is anything more than a coincidence or anything… Actually, it is totally a coincidence. I’m more than happy with where my life is right now. I’m more upset by the fact that I am aware of Taylor Swift’s dating life given that it has absolutely no bearing on my life whatsoever.
Last thing, corresponding with tonight’s debut of the new season of The Biggest Loser I am embarking on a weight loss program. Actually I’ve already started it but it is always nice to tie it in with the Biggest Loser because at least I know that I weigh less than they do. Anyway, if anyone wants to send me some diet or exercise advice I would be more than happy to receive it. I really do need to knock off these last few pounds so that I will no longer be considered overweight. I will be much happier knowing that I was at a healthy weight on my wedding day.
In a case of good news and bad news My Beloved Lindsay is out of rehab but may have to go to jail on a parole violation. Which of those is good news and which is bad news is really left for the reader to decide. And the whole going to prison thing is so a non-Hollywood thing. Really, when was the last time you saw one of these starlets actually have to do any real time for their actions. I know that the California prison system is overcrowded but I think we could find a little space in a closet somewhere to place a Lohan or a Hilton. They are rather thin and should be easily stackable.
Keeping with the celebrity news Snooki from the Jersey Shore has written a novel so add her name to the list of people who have been able to get a novel published before me. Yeah, fifteen plus years spent slaving away at a manuscript, six years blogging in an effort to catch the eye of an agent, and an orange midget who can’t even properly spell her own name is somehow able to land a publishing deal. I would really like to know if she has even read her own book. We all know that she didn’t write it; I legitimately want to know if she took the time to sit down and read it.
Oh, and Taylor Swift broke up with a Gyllenhall and is now back on the market, which just happens to correspond with my blog post where I say awfully nice things about her. Not that is anything more than a coincidence or anything… Actually, it is totally a coincidence. I’m more than happy with where my life is right now. I’m more upset by the fact that I am aware of Taylor Swift’s dating life given that it has absolutely no bearing on my life whatsoever.
Last thing, corresponding with tonight’s debut of the new season of The Biggest Loser I am embarking on a weight loss program. Actually I’ve already started it but it is always nice to tie it in with the Biggest Loser because at least I know that I weigh less than they do. Anyway, if anyone wants to send me some diet or exercise advice I would be more than happy to receive it. I really do need to knock off these last few pounds so that I will no longer be considered overweight. I will be much happier knowing that I was at a healthy weight on my wedding day.
Monday, January 03, 2011
The 10 Best Selling Albums of 2010
Given that we are at the end of the year / start of a new year I figured that I would take a look back at the year in music by discussing the ten bestselling albums of the year. Note that I have no idea how this list was created nor do I own or could even say that I have listened to any of these albums so this will essentially be snarky comments on things that I have no clue about. Not much difference than the rest of my posts when you think about it.
(By the way, Katy Perry, who has horrible skin, came in at number eleven which just goes to show that even sleeping with a muppet does not guarantee chart success.)
#10: Alicia Keys “The Element of Freedom”: I believe the element of freedom is bismuth. One of the things that you will notice about the top selling artists is that with a few, very minor exceptions, they could have appeared on the bestsellers list in 2000. I’m pretty sure Alicia Keys has been around that long. Basically the only people who still actually buy music are people who were buying music in 2000 and haven’t updated their taste in music since then.
#9: Sade “Soldier of Love”: Or 1990 for that matter. Every time I think of Sade I end up thinking about Chaka Kahn whose only song, hell the only lyric I know, is her going “Chaka Kahn Chaka Kahn”. I have no idea why this sticks in my head the way it does. Anyway, you really can’t talk smack about Sade because she just has way too good of a voice. I’m actually happy to see her on the list.
#8: Michael Buble “Crazy Love”: I’ll hand it to Michael Buble for seeing a niche and exploiting it. There is always going to be a need for Frank Sinatra type music and with Frank gone (barring a Tupac like comeback) he decided to dedicate himself to being the guy still making that big band style music. There will always be a market for it because it is a really timeless brand of music. Plus, it is music that you buy for your parents or grandparents and thus he is much more likely to sell physical copies of his music and get paid as opposed to people just stealing it online.
#7: Susan Boyle “The Gift”: Sigh. For a moment there it was looking like this list would be a reality show free zone. Again, I doubt that anyone bought this for themselves. It is called “The Gift” because everyone bought it as a gift for that person that they kind of know but don’t really want to go through the effort of thinking through an actual present. It is the musical equivalent of a Chili’s gift card. I’m sorry but given the fact that her entire story is “non-attractive people can sing, too!” is too cynical even for someone like me to get behind. The fact that this is her main selling point just makes me disgusted about the music business in general.
#6: Black Eyed Peas “The E.N.D.”: Oh please be the end. I would be overjoyed if this is the end of one of the most annoying bands in existence. Outside of “Let’s Get It Started”, which was overplayed the third time it hit the airwaves, I’ve really had no patience for this band especially given that it features Fergie who hits the trifecta of not being able to sing, dance, or look attractive. It’s basically dance music for people who don’t actually like dance music or hip hop for those unfamiliar with hip hop. If you are listening to the Black Eyed Peas you need to be aware that whatever aspect of their music that you like there are a number of people out there who do that much, much better.
#5: Taylor Swift “Speak Now”: No one is going to believe this but I actually like Taylor Swift. I first heard her three or four years ago (whenever Teardrops on my Guitar originally came out) and I found her to be a perfectly acceptable country artist. Good singer who made it through a lot of hard work as opposed to a reality show victory. I’m really happy that she is making it big though I think she is hitting the overexposure level and is going to have to be a little careful if she wants to have a long career. Still, nice to see her make a strong showing.
#4: Lady Antebellum “Need You Now”: The second country entry on the list, which shows that since music sales have dropped the individual genres are now on a much more even playing field than ever before. Basically my only knowledge of this band is that someone told me I should style my hair like one of the guys in the band for my wedding. I’m not even sure who it is or what his hair looks like but I will just automatically assume that it is a bad idea. I just have a feeling that fifteen years ago someone was told “You should wear your hair like that Billy Ray Cyrus guy at your wedding!” I would like to at least be in my own wedding pictures.
#3: Justin Bieber “My Worlds”: As I’ve been mentioning the fun thing about the music business now is the fact that since most people my age and younger get their music online (often through nefarious methods) the acts that would have been best sellers when I was in college no longer breakthrough on the charts. Mainly the people who are buying music tend to be rather old or tweens. Hence the popularity of Justin Bieber whose market consists entirely of twelve year old girls who have money to buy music but haven’t learned how to use Bit Torrent yet. Again, I know nothing of his actual music and God willing I never will. I think I can live a full and productive life without ever hearing him sing.
#2: Eminem “Recovery”: Eminem is still alive? Good for him. I have actually heard some tracks from this album and it looks as though he is back in serious mode and making some really good music. Eminem has always had this strange tendency of going beyond putting humor into his songs to actually becoming something along the lines of a hip hop Weird Al. Just look at a few of the videos and ask yourself “Could Weird Al star in this?” That is what makes his career so tough to figure out. He can produce some of the darkest, most intense, stuff you’ll ever hear but the next single will be a comedy track.
#1: Lady Gaga “The Fame (Monster)”: Yes, this was the year of Lady Gaga who seems to have entered the realm of being famous for being famous. Now I know that she does make music and I’ve heard some but even someone who is oblivious to the music scene probably knows her as that woman who wears all of the wild outfits. She really did create an image of Madonna for the 21st Century as her fame is more dependent on her than her musical output. In this day and age that is what you need to do to be a superstar. Without MTV or consistent radio play the only way to become famous is to act as though you are famous already and have the internet cover you as someone who is important. It’s fascinating from a cultural perspective at least.
(By the way, Katy Perry, who has horrible skin, came in at number eleven which just goes to show that even sleeping with a muppet does not guarantee chart success.)
#10: Alicia Keys “The Element of Freedom”: I believe the element of freedom is bismuth. One of the things that you will notice about the top selling artists is that with a few, very minor exceptions, they could have appeared on the bestsellers list in 2000. I’m pretty sure Alicia Keys has been around that long. Basically the only people who still actually buy music are people who were buying music in 2000 and haven’t updated their taste in music since then.
#9: Sade “Soldier of Love”: Or 1990 for that matter. Every time I think of Sade I end up thinking about Chaka Kahn whose only song, hell the only lyric I know, is her going “Chaka Kahn Chaka Kahn”. I have no idea why this sticks in my head the way it does. Anyway, you really can’t talk smack about Sade because she just has way too good of a voice. I’m actually happy to see her on the list.
#8: Michael Buble “Crazy Love”: I’ll hand it to Michael Buble for seeing a niche and exploiting it. There is always going to be a need for Frank Sinatra type music and with Frank gone (barring a Tupac like comeback) he decided to dedicate himself to being the guy still making that big band style music. There will always be a market for it because it is a really timeless brand of music. Plus, it is music that you buy for your parents or grandparents and thus he is much more likely to sell physical copies of his music and get paid as opposed to people just stealing it online.
#7: Susan Boyle “The Gift”: Sigh. For a moment there it was looking like this list would be a reality show free zone. Again, I doubt that anyone bought this for themselves. It is called “The Gift” because everyone bought it as a gift for that person that they kind of know but don’t really want to go through the effort of thinking through an actual present. It is the musical equivalent of a Chili’s gift card. I’m sorry but given the fact that her entire story is “non-attractive people can sing, too!” is too cynical even for someone like me to get behind. The fact that this is her main selling point just makes me disgusted about the music business in general.
#6: Black Eyed Peas “The E.N.D.”: Oh please be the end. I would be overjoyed if this is the end of one of the most annoying bands in existence. Outside of “Let’s Get It Started”, which was overplayed the third time it hit the airwaves, I’ve really had no patience for this band especially given that it features Fergie who hits the trifecta of not being able to sing, dance, or look attractive. It’s basically dance music for people who don’t actually like dance music or hip hop for those unfamiliar with hip hop. If you are listening to the Black Eyed Peas you need to be aware that whatever aspect of their music that you like there are a number of people out there who do that much, much better.
#5: Taylor Swift “Speak Now”: No one is going to believe this but I actually like Taylor Swift. I first heard her three or four years ago (whenever Teardrops on my Guitar originally came out) and I found her to be a perfectly acceptable country artist. Good singer who made it through a lot of hard work as opposed to a reality show victory. I’m really happy that she is making it big though I think she is hitting the overexposure level and is going to have to be a little careful if she wants to have a long career. Still, nice to see her make a strong showing.
#4: Lady Antebellum “Need You Now”: The second country entry on the list, which shows that since music sales have dropped the individual genres are now on a much more even playing field than ever before. Basically my only knowledge of this band is that someone told me I should style my hair like one of the guys in the band for my wedding. I’m not even sure who it is or what his hair looks like but I will just automatically assume that it is a bad idea. I just have a feeling that fifteen years ago someone was told “You should wear your hair like that Billy Ray Cyrus guy at your wedding!” I would like to at least be in my own wedding pictures.
#3: Justin Bieber “My Worlds”: As I’ve been mentioning the fun thing about the music business now is the fact that since most people my age and younger get their music online (often through nefarious methods) the acts that would have been best sellers when I was in college no longer breakthrough on the charts. Mainly the people who are buying music tend to be rather old or tweens. Hence the popularity of Justin Bieber whose market consists entirely of twelve year old girls who have money to buy music but haven’t learned how to use Bit Torrent yet. Again, I know nothing of his actual music and God willing I never will. I think I can live a full and productive life without ever hearing him sing.
#2: Eminem “Recovery”: Eminem is still alive? Good for him. I have actually heard some tracks from this album and it looks as though he is back in serious mode and making some really good music. Eminem has always had this strange tendency of going beyond putting humor into his songs to actually becoming something along the lines of a hip hop Weird Al. Just look at a few of the videos and ask yourself “Could Weird Al star in this?” That is what makes his career so tough to figure out. He can produce some of the darkest, most intense, stuff you’ll ever hear but the next single will be a comedy track.
#1: Lady Gaga “The Fame (Monster)”: Yes, this was the year of Lady Gaga who seems to have entered the realm of being famous for being famous. Now I know that she does make music and I’ve heard some but even someone who is oblivious to the music scene probably knows her as that woman who wears all of the wild outfits. She really did create an image of Madonna for the 21st Century as her fame is more dependent on her than her musical output. In this day and age that is what you need to do to be a superstar. Without MTV or consistent radio play the only way to become famous is to act as though you are famous already and have the internet cover you as someone who is important. It’s fascinating from a cultural perspective at least.
Sunday, January 02, 2011
New Year's Resolutions Revisited
Everyone has their own traditions for New Years. Maybe it involves spending the day with family or trying out the latest hangover cure or, if you are the Big Ten, losing every single game you possibly could. For me the New Year marks several things. It means that I start a new Word document for my writer’s journal which is now entering its fourteenth year. Yes, that means essentially fourteen years of keeping a diary. I’d say that I am a teenage girl but even teenage girls don’t keep diaries for fourteen years. But my main focus of the New Year is making my resolutions.
However, before I post my 2011 Resolutions I thought that I should check how I did on the 2010 edition. Because resolutions are meaningless without public accountability.
Resolution # 1: Get my weight down to under 190 pounds: As of this morning I weigh 196 pounds. Technically I did not reach my goal but this is down from my peak weight of about 215 earlier this year so it is still a loss of 15 to 20 pounds which is pretty impressive for a non-Biggest Loser contestant. The even better news is that I have been able to keep the weight off all year. I still have more to lose, especially going into the wedding, but at least I made progress on this one.
Resolution # 2: Be more attentive: I have worked a lot at not being so much a slave to multitasking. Essentially what would happen is I would be talking to Kim and she would notice that I was fading from the conversation because I was doing something online. I used to think that I could do two things at once but now I’ve come to realized that I just tend to do two things badly in that instance. I still fail too often (Triple Town on the Kindle can apparently take control of my mind) but I would like to think that I am in the moment more now than I was at the beginning of the year.
Resolution # 3: Complete a 3,000 piece jigsaw puzzle by myself: Done. Took me four months of sitting on the floor of my apartment with the most evil jigsaw puzzle ever made (I swear to God it was one third sky and the sky was the easiest part of the puzzle) but I did it. It is sad to think just how much joy I take out of completing something like that. There are times in my life where I have to take on a challenge where for me to succeed I have to have the will to finish more than anything else.
Resolution # 4: Have breakfast every day: Technically true if you consider coffee on its own as breakfast. Horribly untrue if you believe that breakfast should consist of something other than a Fiber One bar (and trust me, there is no joy in eating a Fiber One bar.) Given how much effort I am putting into losing weight you would think that eating breakfast, which is always stated as the first thing you should do to lose weight, would be easier to do. Focus for this year, obviously.
Resolution # 5: Get to work earlier: Sigh. Yeah, I failed at this one. I have no idea why it can be so tough for me to get out of bed in the morning. I will be awake, listening to NPR, but can’t take those few steps out of bed. I even keep an alarm clock on the other side of the room but when it goes off I get out of bed, turn it off, and then promptly get back under the covers. Maybe my bed is just too comfy. Or I’m lazy. One of the two.
Resolution # 6: Learn to cook to the point that I can make dinner for Kim: Well, I never made dinner for Kim so I guess this one should be considered a failure. I still have a desire to learn how to cook and I am making some progress but I still have a great deal of distance to go before I could legitimately say that I know how to cook. But again, given that I am going to be really health focused this year I think this might show up on my new list.
Resolution # 7: Reader’s Choice: If I remember correctly the reader’s choice for this year was to take up swimming. I don’t believe I swam at all this year. I didn’t even buy goggles though let’s face it; the goggles do nothing. I apologize to all of my readers out there.
Resolution # 8: Have 100 people read the blog in one day: I’m not sure if I broke this level or not. I did have some pretty popular days per Blogger stats and I became the number one link on google for searches for “strawberry shortcakes enemy”, which should count for something. Plus, I had a reader from Greenland and a Greenland reader must be worth like, 20 Canadians. I’ll admit that I really fell out of the blogging habit this year for a lot of reasons but it is nice to know that I still have an audience.
Resolution # 9: Expand my musical tastes: I surprisingly failed at this one. I probably bought less music this year than at any point since I was 16 years old. And I didn’t download stuff for free either; I just simply did not search out new music. On some level I blame the death of the music magazines and my lack of concert attendance as it is much tougher for me to find out about new acts than it used to be. But mainly I think I just needed to give my ears a year off. Maybe this year I’ll be able to hear new music without being so blasé about it.
Resolution # 10: Prepare to be the best husband that I can be: If there was anything this year was about it was this and I am still a work in progress. I always thought that being in a relationship would be easy; I am a nice, caring guy so just being myself would be all that is required. However, I never noticed the selfish guy who also existed there because when you aren’t in a relationship being selfish really isn’t that big of a deal. Plus, I have now been with Kim longer than all of my previous relationships put together and that is even if you consider going to get coffee with a girl to be equivalent to dating. In essence, I’ve never dealt with the issues that arise when you are in a real relationship.
I still screw up from time to time. More often than that to be precise. But I am pissed to no end at myself when I screw up and am trying everything I can to be the best that I can be. I am the luckiest man alive to be with Kim. It’s the least that I can do to try to be my best in return.
Best of 120 Minutes: Old school Wilco tonight. I just can’t find the time to write my mind the way I want it to read.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Cowboy Junkies “Rarities, B Sides, and Slow, Sad Waltzes”
2) Rilo Kiley “More Adventurous”
3) The Tragically Hip “Road Apples”
4) Belly “Star”
5) Alejandro Escovedo “Gravity”
However, before I post my 2011 Resolutions I thought that I should check how I did on the 2010 edition. Because resolutions are meaningless without public accountability.
Resolution # 1: Get my weight down to under 190 pounds: As of this morning I weigh 196 pounds. Technically I did not reach my goal but this is down from my peak weight of about 215 earlier this year so it is still a loss of 15 to 20 pounds which is pretty impressive for a non-Biggest Loser contestant. The even better news is that I have been able to keep the weight off all year. I still have more to lose, especially going into the wedding, but at least I made progress on this one.
Resolution # 2: Be more attentive: I have worked a lot at not being so much a slave to multitasking. Essentially what would happen is I would be talking to Kim and she would notice that I was fading from the conversation because I was doing something online. I used to think that I could do two things at once but now I’ve come to realized that I just tend to do two things badly in that instance. I still fail too often (Triple Town on the Kindle can apparently take control of my mind) but I would like to think that I am in the moment more now than I was at the beginning of the year.
Resolution # 3: Complete a 3,000 piece jigsaw puzzle by myself: Done. Took me four months of sitting on the floor of my apartment with the most evil jigsaw puzzle ever made (I swear to God it was one third sky and the sky was the easiest part of the puzzle) but I did it. It is sad to think just how much joy I take out of completing something like that. There are times in my life where I have to take on a challenge where for me to succeed I have to have the will to finish more than anything else.
Resolution # 4: Have breakfast every day: Technically true if you consider coffee on its own as breakfast. Horribly untrue if you believe that breakfast should consist of something other than a Fiber One bar (and trust me, there is no joy in eating a Fiber One bar.) Given how much effort I am putting into losing weight you would think that eating breakfast, which is always stated as the first thing you should do to lose weight, would be easier to do. Focus for this year, obviously.
Resolution # 5: Get to work earlier: Sigh. Yeah, I failed at this one. I have no idea why it can be so tough for me to get out of bed in the morning. I will be awake, listening to NPR, but can’t take those few steps out of bed. I even keep an alarm clock on the other side of the room but when it goes off I get out of bed, turn it off, and then promptly get back under the covers. Maybe my bed is just too comfy. Or I’m lazy. One of the two.
Resolution # 6: Learn to cook to the point that I can make dinner for Kim: Well, I never made dinner for Kim so I guess this one should be considered a failure. I still have a desire to learn how to cook and I am making some progress but I still have a great deal of distance to go before I could legitimately say that I know how to cook. But again, given that I am going to be really health focused this year I think this might show up on my new list.
Resolution # 7: Reader’s Choice: If I remember correctly the reader’s choice for this year was to take up swimming. I don’t believe I swam at all this year. I didn’t even buy goggles though let’s face it; the goggles do nothing. I apologize to all of my readers out there.
Resolution # 8: Have 100 people read the blog in one day: I’m not sure if I broke this level or not. I did have some pretty popular days per Blogger stats and I became the number one link on google for searches for “strawberry shortcakes enemy”, which should count for something. Plus, I had a reader from Greenland and a Greenland reader must be worth like, 20 Canadians. I’ll admit that I really fell out of the blogging habit this year for a lot of reasons but it is nice to know that I still have an audience.
Resolution # 9: Expand my musical tastes: I surprisingly failed at this one. I probably bought less music this year than at any point since I was 16 years old. And I didn’t download stuff for free either; I just simply did not search out new music. On some level I blame the death of the music magazines and my lack of concert attendance as it is much tougher for me to find out about new acts than it used to be. But mainly I think I just needed to give my ears a year off. Maybe this year I’ll be able to hear new music without being so blasé about it.
Resolution # 10: Prepare to be the best husband that I can be: If there was anything this year was about it was this and I am still a work in progress. I always thought that being in a relationship would be easy; I am a nice, caring guy so just being myself would be all that is required. However, I never noticed the selfish guy who also existed there because when you aren’t in a relationship being selfish really isn’t that big of a deal. Plus, I have now been with Kim longer than all of my previous relationships put together and that is even if you consider going to get coffee with a girl to be equivalent to dating. In essence, I’ve never dealt with the issues that arise when you are in a real relationship.
I still screw up from time to time. More often than that to be precise. But I am pissed to no end at myself when I screw up and am trying everything I can to be the best that I can be. I am the luckiest man alive to be with Kim. It’s the least that I can do to try to be my best in return.
Best of 120 Minutes: Old school Wilco tonight. I just can’t find the time to write my mind the way I want it to read.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Cowboy Junkies “Rarities, B Sides, and Slow, Sad Waltzes”
2) Rilo Kiley “More Adventurous”
3) The Tragically Hip “Road Apples”
4) Belly “Star”
5) Alejandro Escovedo “Gravity”
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