Saw this on Reddit this evening and it is the best question that I have been posed in a long time. You can choose from one of the following ten magical items. Which one do you choose and why?
1) A pot that can produce 1,000 kilograms of any food a day.
2) A bracelet that keeps weather perfect wherever you go and within a 250 kilometre radius.
3) A necklace that allows you to touch books and instantly absorb knowledge from them, without reading.
4) An unlimited bottle of perfume that will make you wildly attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re gay), which cannot be used on anyone you love.
5) A watch that allows you to reverse time by a minute or less per day.
6) A bell that when rang fixes any one object at a time, excluding living things, within a minute.
7) A chocolate bar, with twelve pieces, that makes anyone who eats a single piece invincible and youthful until the age of 160.
8) A no fuel required, maintenance free, eight person van that can take you anywhere on the planet within one second.
9) A remote control that allows you and another person to change, superficially, into anyone you want; the effect lasts until you decide to revert.
10) An immortal dog that poops out one gold coin every time it goes to the bathroom.
I’ll break these down one by one to get to my decision.
1) This quickly caught my attention as I immediately think “I can feed the planet!” Except that a) 1,000 kilos of food really isn’t that much when split amongst six billion people and b) almost no famines are a result of a lack of food (politics and war are the causes). You could also use it under the idea of “I’ll never have to go to the grocery store” or “I could hike that Appalachian Trail without having to pack food” except that then you would still have to deal with 1,000 kilos of food. I’ll pass.
2) No real interest in this one. Besides the fact that you would really screw up the weather pattern I’m not really interested in perfect weather. Last night we had a huge snowstorm that made it look like I had suddenly been transported to Hoth. I like watching a thunderstorm. If I wanted life to be constantly 75 and sunny I would move to California.
3) Very tempting especially for someone who craves knowledge as much as I do. However, outside of being able to totally kick Ken Jenning’s ass at Jeopardy I’m not sure how much use I would be able to get out of this. Knowledge does not equal ingenuity so even though I may know everything about a subject it does not mean that I can make that leap to the next step. Plus, it would mean I would no longer have to read and a life without books sounds rather boring.
4) Easily skipped. The only person whose opinion I care about in that matter is the woman I love.
5) A lot of people online chose this one and while I understand why it doesn’t make the top of my list. One reason people gave was “you can make a ton of money gambling” but I feel that the one minute rule would make going to a casino rather annoying as you could only play fast paced games and it just seems like an awfully difficult way to become rich. The better reason is that you could take back all of the stupid things you do in life. All of those boneheaded statements or actions that you immediately want to take back but can’t. That has an awful lot of value but for me it sometimes takes more than a minute for it to sink in just how stupid I was. It is horrible in real life knowing that you can’t go back in time and change things. Now imagine that you had the ability but didn’t recognize in time for you to do so.
6) Well, you could make a mint running the ultimate repair shop but other than that I’m not sure what use I would get out of this. It might be the most practical choice on the list but if I have a chance to get my hands on a magic item I am not going with what is practical.
7) Wow. Reminiscent of Hob Gadling in the Sandman who said “Death is a mug’s game. I’m not playing.” There is something to be said about being able to live a long and healthy life but the important thing to remember is that life is what you make of it. If you are a miserable person you would simply be miserable for 160 years. The world could be a sucky place for 160 years. You could see disco come back three or four times. That said, the ability to provide this to those you love as well makes it all the much better. There is nothing worse than having to say goodbye much too soon. Very tempting.
8) This is one of my two final choices. First off, this van will give you one of the most important things in the world: time. Think about all of the time you spend in traffic. Every day I spend an hour driving back and forth to work. That is 200 hours a year spent doing nothing. Imagine getting all of that time back. Then add on the ability to travel anywhere you want instantly. Screw having perfect weather, you could go to wherever the weather you want is. No going to airports to travel. You have the magic van and you can take your friends along with you. Hopefully it has a killer stereo system.
9) A while back this may have been more tempting but I have spent years getting adjusted to life in my own skin. I don’t really feel a need to be in anyone else’s. Sure, it would be cool to look like someone who is famous but that isn’t the same as being famous. Just not worth it.
10) My other final choice. You’ll be rich owning this dog but not super rich. You’ll just always make a little money every day. More importantly, you will always have a loving dog by your side who will be with you for the rest of your life. Think about the favorite dog you ever had and know that he or she would never leave you, will always be there at the window when you get home and will love you unconditionally until the end of time. Would it get any better than that?
So I have to choose between the magic van and the wonder dog. And I’m going to weasel out a little by putting in the following qualification. If I can state the dog that I will choose (meaning I can choose one that I already love and know I would want for the rest of my life) I would take the dog. If it is a random dog (meaning that it would most likely be a small, yippy dog that will essentially be nothing more than a gold coin dispenser to me) then I will take the van.
Thoughts? What would you choose?
3 comments:
#1 - Black Truffles = Gold Mine. Enough said. (although, if pot produces pot (food as in brownies), then perhaps also a gold mine in CA)
#1 - how big would this pot be? who would have to clean it? pass.
#2 - echo your sentiments
#3 - I actually kind of like this one although I could grow tired of it after spending an hour in a library or barnes & noble. the downside is what if you accidentally brush up against justin bieber's biography on the display table or trip in the store and fall headlong into teen vampire romance section. i would need to also have the ability to 'unread' things and delete them from memory.
#4 - sounds like the movie Love Potion No. 9 starring Sandra Bullock and Tate Donovan. pass.
#5 - actually, the highest payout in a casino is hitting a number in roulette (pays 36:1). the catch is you are going to have to use this sparingly. if you win a few times in a row, and even if the pit boss and security can't actually prove you're cheating, this could result in your hands getting smashed a ball peen hammer or an unfortunate trip down the stairs and persona non grata status going forward.
#6 - I'd open some sort of repair shop, then would use the proceeds to finally be able to enter the joyful/woeful world of Ferrari ownership, which is when this bell would really come in handy.
#7 - 160 years is a long time. think about your retirement planning needs.
#8 - this one is all sorts of awesome, but does it really have to be a van? give me a sedan or a coupe with a backseat and average storage room in the trunk. you're only in it for a minute. friends can ride in the trunk or sit on laps or I can make multiple trips if necessary.
#9 - first application: we're going into the women's locker room. heck, if I can could change superficially into Scarlet Johanssen I would just look at myself naked in the mirror and fondle my own breasts.
#10 - at $1315/oz this might not be a bad choice, but you'd still have to retrieve the coin from the poop a few times a day and hold onto it until you can wash it off.
in #1 I was wondering why not try to make this real and produce a hybrid gene of plant to produce such 1000kg of food? :) but it says any food, it wonder what would it look like if it bares an icecream.
#10 its like jack and the bean stalk, the duck that poops gold? was that jack and the beans stalk? I don't know much. :)
nice post anyway I enjoyed reading.
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