Lost another one of my idols...

This is going to be a tough post to write. I should hang black banners on my blog or something. I mean, how in the world am I supposed to write when Captain America has been murdered? They shot him down like a dog on the courthouse steps. What type of world do we live in where even Captain America is dead?

(Sorry if I spoiled the ending for anyone who has been reading the Civil War series. But yes, Marvel has decided to kill off Captain America. It’s still not clear what they mean. They may have just killed Steve Rogers and someone else will take up the costume. They may use the typical Dr. Doom “He’s not really dead” storyline. Or maybe they are serious and, much like Bucky Barnes, Cap is no longer with us. I, along with the rest of the Avengers, are officially in mourning.)

Ok, a few more thoughts on last night’s post. I’m not kidding when I say that record stores rely on my business to stay afloat. When I left for B-school the independent record store I shopped at weekly went under in less than six months. I really think that I had something to do with that. And even though I do most of my shopping at either Streetside or Border’s I don’t consider them to be a godless, bloodsucking corporate machine. I mean, they are, but Border’s has a rather nice selection and the people who work at Streetside are cool. That’s why I don’t entirely fault them for doing this promotion to make a few dollars, just as long as they admit that it is a crass marketing stunt. Ticketmaster, on the other hand, uses my fees to purchase gold plated toilet seats and when the revolution comes I swear I will be manning the firing lines when we put those bastards up against the wall.

Looking at it (and some Soundscan data that I have) it really looks like it had to be a platinum selling disc to even be mentioned. That would take out The Postal Service and Death Cab for Cutie, even though both of those discs would make the cut of influential discs of the past ten years. It’s great that they included “Way to Blue” on there but that is based more on sales than on awesomeness. I’m more surprised that only one R.E.M. disc (and one Radiohead disc) made the cut. Both are popular bands with large catalogues and you’d think they would merit inclusion over every Led Zepplin disc.

There is one other ranking that I will have to give them credit for. Beastie Boys “Licensed to Ill” came in at 31 and that is a fair ranking. Remember that when “You’ve got to fight” came out everyone took them to be one hit wonders. Vanilla Ice before anyone had heard of Rob Van Winkle. The fact that they had a long and impressive career astounds me. Especially given the rumors that all of the band members had died of cocaine overdoses in 1987. Though if we are giving late 80’s rap groups some love could we include a Fat Boys record? Or at least give a special mention to Disorderlies for being the best film starring a rap band ever?

Anyway, I need to talk about the Glen Kotche show on Monday night. Glen is the drummer for Wilco and this was the last date of his solo tour before he joins back up with the band. And this was a solo show by the drummer. That’s as odd to write as it is to see. An hour long drum solo does not sound like the most exciting thing in the world to me. But he did something at this show that makes it the early leader for “Weirdest set of the year” and tops The Ditty Bops bringing out a guy on stilts for the weirdest concert moment that I have ever seen.

We’re about halfway through the set, which was really good. He used a couple looping tracks at time to give a bit of melody but he mainly used a tricked out drum kit to keep things interesting. Then he introduced this track called the Balianese Monkey War Chant. Which was based on a Hindu myth involving several gods who spoke using various strange attachments to his kit. (One I think was one of those metal springs that used to be attached to my dorm room lamp). He starts playing and hitting cymbals and looping some of the noise. Then he gets up and turns to this folding table that is behind him.

He lifts this blanket off the table and you see that there are about forty small boxes on the table. About the size of a Matchbox car. He turns on this miniature flashlight and begins to lift the lid on each box and shines the light into the box. As he does this, you begin to hear chirping sounds. Yes, Glen Kotche played a drum solo while being accompanied by a table filled with crickets. Forty some crickets chirping into the overhead mike.

It was the damndest thing that I’ve ever seen in a concert.

He really used the crickets as a musical instrument. They provided the background vocals for his solo and served as a counter voice for all of these characters that he invented with his drum kit. I’m not sure how he did this, or how the crickets didn’t immediately jump around the stage or if this is the strangest rider request ever. All I know is that it was bizarre but it worked. You felt that you were in Bali trapped in the midst of a Hindu myth. And pulling that off when in reality you are standing in a bar in a strip mall in Kansas City is one hell of an accomplishment.

Avril Lavigne should never make a Top 200 list of anything, including people named Avril

I’m a self-professed music geek. If you need proof look no further than the fact that I’ve spent the past two Monday nights watching the side projects of one of my favorite bands. It made sense when I saw Autumn Defense since that is basically the harmony section of Wilco. Last night I saw Glen Kotche’s solo act. Glen is the drummer. And when I say solo it was just him on stage. I watched his hour set, and, well, I’m not even sure if I can explain it. I will tomorrow, because I came across this today and I really need to rant. First, here is the link

http://www.rockhall.com/pressroom/definitive-200

The idea is that this is the definitive list of the top 200 albums of all time. As decided by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and NARM (the association of music retailers). That should be your first warning sign right there. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is basically a sham put together by Rolling Stone so that they can pat themselves on the back once a year and the association of music retailers don’t give a damn about quality as long as the disc sells. In fact, this entire list is basically a promotion for the retailers to sell a lot of back catalog releases. (It’s very intelligent marketing given that the average age of a CD purchaser is in the 30’s.) But that still is no excuse for putting together a “Definitive” list of great albums and producing this piece of crap.

Let’s walk through the 200, shall we?

Number one is Sgt. Pepper’s and I can live with that. Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” comes in second and that is a bit odd. I’ve never heard it listed in the best album ever discussion and I think that the only reason it still sells is because the latest editions come complete with their own bong and a DVD of The Wizard of Oz. I hate Led Zeppelin and Led Zeppelin IV but other people feel passionately about songs about hobbits. But otherwise, the top 10 is pretty sensible though disordered.

The first “What the hell” moment is Santana’s “Supernatural” at 13. I don’t know anyone who would consider this to be a classic album. This was during the period when they’d grab whoever was the pop star of the moment and have them record with Carlos for the day, often without telling Carlos who this person is. Still not as bad as the 19-20-21 triumverate of the worst music ever recorded. Yes, according to the definitive list you must own The Doors “The Doors”, The Grateful Dead “American Beauty” and Shania Twain “Come On Over.”

If you own any of those albums I cannot be friends with you. I’m not even sure if I want you reading my blog (though don’t tell my advertisers that). The Doors are the most overrated band in the history of the planet. The Grateful Dead are considered influential because they gave people an excuse to get high for decades. And Shania Twain has two talents and they are neither singing nor dancing. You can’t take this list seriously with that mix.

It gets worse, if you could imagine. The Clash’s “London Calling”, which makes every top ten list including those for best polka albums of all time, charts in at 96. Just ahead of Celine Dion. Yes, the high point of punk rock is considered to be about as significant as a forgettable Celine Dion disc. And look at who comes in ahead of the only band that matters. The Grease Soundtrack (#37). Jewel “Pieces of You” (#64). Linkin Park “Hybrid Theory” (#84). Matchbox Twenty “They don’t even deserve me looking up their album title” (# 91). That is just horrible. No rational human being would ever say Matchbox Twenty is better than The Clash. Unless they are just focused on album sales.

And that’s what this list is, just a rather crass attempt to boost the back catalog. It’s not a listing of great albums. It’s a listing of extremely popular albums from the past thirty years that you probably haven’t listened to in a while. Hell, probably a few that you still have lying around on cassette and wouldn’t it be great to add these classics to your CD collection. I don’t fault record stores for trying to boost sales (lord knows they can’t survive on just me buying CDs.) But don’t try to pass this off as some critically selected greatest artistic moments of all time.

Just look at what recent albums aren’t on the list. The two most ambitious discs of the past two
years (Sufjan Stevens’ “Illinois” and Arcade Fire’s “Funeral”) are nowhere to be seen. Can’t find Wilco’s “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” even though it was on every best of list in 2001 and 2002. And even R.E.M.’s “Murmur”, the album that launched a thousand rock bands and the entire college rock movement, doesn’t make the cut. Yet Live’s “Throwing Copper” and album that a) wouldn’t exist without R.E.M. and b) contains the only song I know of with the word “placenta” in the lyrics is deemed to be one of the best ever.

One of the pieces that I’m going to place in “Tawdry Amusements at Respectable Prices” (which I recently realized is a total rip off of a Guided By Voices album title) will be the 40 discs that you don’t own but should. It’s nice that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame wants people to buy yet another Boston disc. I’d rather encourage people to buy something that they would want to listen to.

In fairness though, here are the albums on the list that I do own:
U2: The Joshua Tree
Pearl Jam: Ten
U2: Achtung Baby
Dave Matthews Band: Crash (which isn’t even the best DMB disc. That would be Under the Table and Dreaming. Crash is where you realize that all Dave is singing about is essentially “Please sleep with me. Please?” And then he adds in sad puppy dog eyes. Admittedly, it is the same technique used by every guy at a DMB concert.)
Coldplay: A Rush of Blood to the Head
R.E.M.: Automatic for the People
Paul Simon: Graceland (#83 my ass)
The Clash: London Calling
Tom Petty: Full Moon Fever
The Police: Synchronicity
O Brother Where Art Thou Soundtrack (Ok, cool that this got included)
Sarah McLachlan: Surfacing (Again, not even the best album by the artist. Surfacing was uneven and incredibly short. It can’t touch Fumbling Towards Ecstasy. Possession (a song written about a guy who was stalking Sarah) is one of the best songs from the mid 90’s)
Sheryl Crow: Tuesday Night Music Club (I don’t even like admitting that I own this, much less recommend that anyone else pick it up)
Smashing Pumpkins: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (pick up Siamese Dream instead)