It’s Halloween time again and that means for the fifteenth straight year I will be putting on the backpack, stocking cap and red and white striped shirt and see if people can find me in a crowded bar. (Because I’m Waldo, get it? This was even funnier when I would do this in the Waldo section of Kansas City. People would yell “Where’s Waldo” and I would go “You’re already there, moron.” Ah, good times.) Anyway, since not everyone is as creative as I am I figured that I would provide some helpful costume hints this year.
If you want to look like everyone else: Dress up as your favorite Jersey Shore cast member. Every other person will be dressed like Snookie this year so you will blend in perfectly. Note: this is not an acceptable costume if you happen to actually be in New Jersey.
If you have absolutely no time to make a costume: Stick a small pencil behind your ear and call yourself a miniature golf scorekeeper.
If you want a geeky but cool costume: Dress as Clark Kent. Normal dress attire but with a Superman t-shirt slightly visible underneath. Whenever anyone asks who you are supposed to be dramatically pull at your shirt as you strike a heroic pose (props to the io9 commenter I borrowed this idea from.)
If you want to steal the girl a guy has been talking to, buying drinks for and even a late dinner for at the bar: A life sized penguin costume. Not that I am speaking from experience or anything. People ask me about my irrational hatred of penguins and I can only tell them, “Trust me, it’s not irrational.”
If you want to live out your Karate Kid fantasies in a very impractical manner: Dress as a shower. Actually saw this costume in a bar once.
If you want to truly live out your Karate Kid fantasies: Get one of those kick ass skeleton costumes and head over to Ralph Macchio’s house. Teach him that Cobra Kai is the only dojo that matters.
If you need to incorporate your current level of weight gain: Where shorts and a solid color t-shirt and say that you are a Biggest Loser contestant.
If you need to go from the office straight to a party: Rock out the suit and say that you are Barney Stinson.
If you want to dress as your favorite political candidate: Don’t. Please, for the love of god, don’t. I’ve seen enough political witches this year already thank you very much.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Why the internet is killing our minds
Your question of the day: Cats land on their feet. Toast lands butter side down. What happens if you strap a piece of toast on a cat’s back and drop it?
I just finished reading this book called “The Shallows” which discusses how the use of the Internet is rewiring our brains and is making us, for a lack of a better term, dumber. Or maybe not dumber in the largest sense of the world but much less likely to perform deep thinking and true introspection on topics. Essentially, the internet allows us to gain a great deal of data rapidly but prevents us from obtaining actual knowledge.
The main idea behind it is that the Net is designed for constant distraction. You always have interruptions from emails or instant messages. We have trained ourselves to quickly gleam the most important information from a page in seconds without even glancing at any other items on the page. Search engines provide us with answers quickly and keep us from looking around to find a broader picture. We have gained convenience but have lost depth.
For me this is rather fascinating given that my life has been spent half in a pre-internet age and half in a data immersed world and I have to say that on many levels I agree with this argument. I just checked and the number of books I read on a yearly basis steadily fell from 1998 on while I would reckon that the amount of time I spent online rose. While obviously that online time was spent reading I can’t say that I gained anything from it. It isn’t as though I have ever stumbled across a website that influenced my way of thinking as much as a book has. The web just doesn’t have that depth to it.
(It is interesting though that I will end up reading more books this year than I have in a decade and that might entirely be due to my owning a Kindle. For some reason (possibly because I have grown so accustomed to looking at a screen) I read more now that I have one. Much of the arguments about how the web interrupts our thought process with hyperlinks and video don’t really apply with the Kindle though they would with an iPad. Which is why I am sticking with my Kindle.)
I would agree that the internet has shortened our attention span. It is designed to provide information quickly, which is the goal of all computer systems. The web was not designed to answer the philosophical questions of our time. It was designed for the rapid flow of information and / or porn. But what strikes me more is how the internet has not only made our thinking shallower but it has also made us shallow on a more emotional level.
We must admit to ourselves that when we are online we are not dealing with people but with the digital representations of people and as such our interactions in that medium do not match what we hope for in society. Look at the comments section of any site and you will see arguments, name calling and the worst use of grammar that you could ever imagine yet this is all considered acceptable behavior because no one on the other end is “real”. Though there are people I have followed online for over a decade they are no more real to me than Kermit the Frog. There entire existence has been words on a screen. It creates a massive disconnect.
What happens though is this really deadens ourselves to the outside world. We lose empathy and connection. After spending a day watching funny videos of people falling down watching someone fall in the street no longer results in a response of “Oh my God, is that person hurt?” You now reach for your camera phone. Political arguments typically end with calling someone a Nazi. And in the one that I am most guilty: any news story, any confession, any expression of true human emotion is met with a snarky, cynical comment. Even when we are with real people we still treat them as a bunch of ones and zeroes.
The internet is here to stay. No one is arguing that we should turn back the clock. We just have to be aware that the tools we use impact us in more ways than we could ever imagine.
I just finished reading this book called “The Shallows” which discusses how the use of the Internet is rewiring our brains and is making us, for a lack of a better term, dumber. Or maybe not dumber in the largest sense of the world but much less likely to perform deep thinking and true introspection on topics. Essentially, the internet allows us to gain a great deal of data rapidly but prevents us from obtaining actual knowledge.
The main idea behind it is that the Net is designed for constant distraction. You always have interruptions from emails or instant messages. We have trained ourselves to quickly gleam the most important information from a page in seconds without even glancing at any other items on the page. Search engines provide us with answers quickly and keep us from looking around to find a broader picture. We have gained convenience but have lost depth.
For me this is rather fascinating given that my life has been spent half in a pre-internet age and half in a data immersed world and I have to say that on many levels I agree with this argument. I just checked and the number of books I read on a yearly basis steadily fell from 1998 on while I would reckon that the amount of time I spent online rose. While obviously that online time was spent reading I can’t say that I gained anything from it. It isn’t as though I have ever stumbled across a website that influenced my way of thinking as much as a book has. The web just doesn’t have that depth to it.
(It is interesting though that I will end up reading more books this year than I have in a decade and that might entirely be due to my owning a Kindle. For some reason (possibly because I have grown so accustomed to looking at a screen) I read more now that I have one. Much of the arguments about how the web interrupts our thought process with hyperlinks and video don’t really apply with the Kindle though they would with an iPad. Which is why I am sticking with my Kindle.)
I would agree that the internet has shortened our attention span. It is designed to provide information quickly, which is the goal of all computer systems. The web was not designed to answer the philosophical questions of our time. It was designed for the rapid flow of information and / or porn. But what strikes me more is how the internet has not only made our thinking shallower but it has also made us shallow on a more emotional level.
We must admit to ourselves that when we are online we are not dealing with people but with the digital representations of people and as such our interactions in that medium do not match what we hope for in society. Look at the comments section of any site and you will see arguments, name calling and the worst use of grammar that you could ever imagine yet this is all considered acceptable behavior because no one on the other end is “real”. Though there are people I have followed online for over a decade they are no more real to me than Kermit the Frog. There entire existence has been words on a screen. It creates a massive disconnect.
What happens though is this really deadens ourselves to the outside world. We lose empathy and connection. After spending a day watching funny videos of people falling down watching someone fall in the street no longer results in a response of “Oh my God, is that person hurt?” You now reach for your camera phone. Political arguments typically end with calling someone a Nazi. And in the one that I am most guilty: any news story, any confession, any expression of true human emotion is met with a snarky, cynical comment. Even when we are with real people we still treat them as a bunch of ones and zeroes.
The internet is here to stay. No one is arguing that we should turn back the clock. We just have to be aware that the tools we use impact us in more ways than we could ever imagine.
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Walkman: Mankind's Greatest Invention
Sony announced that they are going to cancel production of the Walkman this year. After asking the obvious question of “They still make Walkmen? Who was the product manager who kept that business alive for this long?” we should still take the time to look back on what is one of the most important products of our age. Really, the Walkman shaped music and cultural history.
Until the Walkman music was a very stationary experience. You had your stereo system often complete with fake wood paneling to make it look more like furniture than entertainment (this held true for televisions and the Atari 2600 as well.) To listen to music you were typically confined to one space. Even with radios be they transistor or boom box you were still faced with limitations of either size, reception or broadcast range. You couldn’t listen to a boom box just by yourself. Or you could but it kind of defeated the entire purpose.
The Walkman wasn’t the first music player that caused people to wear headphones. Stereos and prog rock did that first. But the Walkman was the first player that made you wear headphones in public. It created the first attempt at having an individualized soundtrack for your life. You dropped in the cassette, put on the headphones, pressed play and suddenly you were in a different world than everyone else around you. You were having an individualized experience in a crowd. Nothing had really provided that type of release from the world before.
Think about what the Walkman spawned. You have the mixtape. True, it could be played on any cassette deck but we all know that it was meant to be played on a Walkman where only the intended listener would get the full meaning of the songs. You have the jogging industry where it is difficult to imagine people running without headphones on. The Discman (of which I probably have a half dozen broken versions of somewhere in my apartment) was the obvious descendent along with the iPod. But you also have portable DVD players and electronic books and every other type of media that has been made portable. The Walkman is the father of all of them.
To be sure it was a flawed machine. It ate up batteries like no one’s business. The radio that was standard on most of them had the worst reception ever to the point that in order to listen to your favorite station clearly you had to hold it at a 47 degree angle against your head. It would occasionally eat tapes and tapes themselves would fade after repeated use. If you dropped it (especially in the Discman era) the thing was pretty much doomed. And there is the fact that my hearing has probably been irreparably damaged from it. But man, did it help get me in to music.
(Though honestly, when was the last time you saw a Walkman used? Or a cassette tape available for sale. I’m all for old technology and I adore analog but this one may have seen its day.)
Until the Walkman music was a very stationary experience. You had your stereo system often complete with fake wood paneling to make it look more like furniture than entertainment (this held true for televisions and the Atari 2600 as well.) To listen to music you were typically confined to one space. Even with radios be they transistor or boom box you were still faced with limitations of either size, reception or broadcast range. You couldn’t listen to a boom box just by yourself. Or you could but it kind of defeated the entire purpose.
The Walkman wasn’t the first music player that caused people to wear headphones. Stereos and prog rock did that first. But the Walkman was the first player that made you wear headphones in public. It created the first attempt at having an individualized soundtrack for your life. You dropped in the cassette, put on the headphones, pressed play and suddenly you were in a different world than everyone else around you. You were having an individualized experience in a crowd. Nothing had really provided that type of release from the world before.
Think about what the Walkman spawned. You have the mixtape. True, it could be played on any cassette deck but we all know that it was meant to be played on a Walkman where only the intended listener would get the full meaning of the songs. You have the jogging industry where it is difficult to imagine people running without headphones on. The Discman (of which I probably have a half dozen broken versions of somewhere in my apartment) was the obvious descendent along with the iPod. But you also have portable DVD players and electronic books and every other type of media that has been made portable. The Walkman is the father of all of them.
To be sure it was a flawed machine. It ate up batteries like no one’s business. The radio that was standard on most of them had the worst reception ever to the point that in order to listen to your favorite station clearly you had to hold it at a 47 degree angle against your head. It would occasionally eat tapes and tapes themselves would fade after repeated use. If you dropped it (especially in the Discman era) the thing was pretty much doomed. And there is the fact that my hearing has probably been irreparably damaged from it. But man, did it help get me in to music.
(Though honestly, when was the last time you saw a Walkman used? Or a cassette tape available for sale. I’m all for old technology and I adore analog but this one may have seen its day.)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
A not so long weekend
This might be the best explanation of my current state of football fandom. On Saturday afternoon I had to choose between watching A) Notre Dame vs. Navy on CBS, B) Penn State vs. Minnesota on ESPNU or C) Illinois vs. Indiana on an alternate feed of the Big 10 Network that for the first quarter did not have any sound. I chose C and I was damn glad I did (though when the announcers came back on I kind of questioned it.) Of all my teams Illinois may very well be the best and they are certainly the most fun to watch.
Notre Dame was just pitiful this week. Now Navy is a good squad but we should not lose to them and certainly should not lose to them three out of the past four years. In fact, I shouldn’t be able to say with pride that I was at the game the last time we beat Navy and the last time we beat USC. But it is not just that we lost. We were just pounded and could not stop Navy. Even the two times we forced them to pass they lit us up. That is just depressing. The fact is without joining a conference I don’t see the team getting any better. Right now we are just hoping to be a middling team that will probably be destroyed at home by Utah. You kind of hope for better than that.
Otherwise the most productive thing I did this weekend was put in 4.67 miles on the treadmill in an hour. For those wondering I have gotten my weight down to around 200 pounds for a loss of ten pounds since May. While I wouldn’t say that I am nearing the level of anything called athletic the fact is not that long ago I would have a hard time going at 4.7 miles an hour on the treadmill for more than a few minutes. Now I’m basically averaging that over the course of an hour and I just need to cut one minute off of my time in order to run three miles in under my age. I’m getting fit, which is a pretty sweet accomplishment.
Thinking about that and having read a few more articles on obesity in America it makes me wonder more and more about the Biggest Loser and just how bizarre a program that it is. While the show is inspirational in that you watch extremely obese people overcome myriad challenges and lose an insane amount of weight there are two really disturbing aspects to the show. The first is one that I often discuss which is that since it is a reality show contestants get voted off. Typically these contestants are the worst performers which means that they actually require the most help. So the show kicks to the curb the people who aren’t fit to be role models.
The second point is that in a two hour episode there might be two minutes of actual advice about how to lose weight that isn’t tied to a product endorsement. Sure, we see Bob and Jillian working out the contestants but we aren’t told what exercise routines they are doing, or for how long, or what they feel the best circuit to use is. We get occasional discussions about diet but nothing very concrete. If you want either of those you are encouraged to purchase one of their books or DVDs. On a show that is about fitness with a motto this year of paying it forward watching it actually teaches you nothing about what you need to do. I don’t expect Project Runway to teach me how to sew but the Biggest Loser should give me advice on how to lose weight.
Best of 120 Minutes: There are very few bands that I love more than The Sundays. They are easily in my top ten list of absolute favorite bands that I have ever heard. Life would be so much better if there were more bands like this out there.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Soul Coughing “Lust in Phaze”
2) The Pat McGee Band “Shine”
3) The Mike Plume Band “Fools for the Radio”
4) Old Crow Medicine Show “Tennessee Pusher”
5) Alejandro Escovedo “Street Songs of Love”
Notre Dame was just pitiful this week. Now Navy is a good squad but we should not lose to them and certainly should not lose to them three out of the past four years. In fact, I shouldn’t be able to say with pride that I was at the game the last time we beat Navy and the last time we beat USC. But it is not just that we lost. We were just pounded and could not stop Navy. Even the two times we forced them to pass they lit us up. That is just depressing. The fact is without joining a conference I don’t see the team getting any better. Right now we are just hoping to be a middling team that will probably be destroyed at home by Utah. You kind of hope for better than that.
Otherwise the most productive thing I did this weekend was put in 4.67 miles on the treadmill in an hour. For those wondering I have gotten my weight down to around 200 pounds for a loss of ten pounds since May. While I wouldn’t say that I am nearing the level of anything called athletic the fact is not that long ago I would have a hard time going at 4.7 miles an hour on the treadmill for more than a few minutes. Now I’m basically averaging that over the course of an hour and I just need to cut one minute off of my time in order to run three miles in under my age. I’m getting fit, which is a pretty sweet accomplishment.
Thinking about that and having read a few more articles on obesity in America it makes me wonder more and more about the Biggest Loser and just how bizarre a program that it is. While the show is inspirational in that you watch extremely obese people overcome myriad challenges and lose an insane amount of weight there are two really disturbing aspects to the show. The first is one that I often discuss which is that since it is a reality show contestants get voted off. Typically these contestants are the worst performers which means that they actually require the most help. So the show kicks to the curb the people who aren’t fit to be role models.
The second point is that in a two hour episode there might be two minutes of actual advice about how to lose weight that isn’t tied to a product endorsement. Sure, we see Bob and Jillian working out the contestants but we aren’t told what exercise routines they are doing, or for how long, or what they feel the best circuit to use is. We get occasional discussions about diet but nothing very concrete. If you want either of those you are encouraged to purchase one of their books or DVDs. On a show that is about fitness with a motto this year of paying it forward watching it actually teaches you nothing about what you need to do. I don’t expect Project Runway to teach me how to sew but the Biggest Loser should give me advice on how to lose weight.
Best of 120 Minutes: There are very few bands that I love more than The Sundays. They are easily in my top ten list of absolute favorite bands that I have ever heard. Life would be so much better if there were more bands like this out there.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Soul Coughing “Lust in Phaze”
2) The Pat McGee Band “Shine”
3) The Mike Plume Band “Fools for the Radio”
4) Old Crow Medicine Show “Tennessee Pusher”
5) Alejandro Escovedo “Street Songs of Love”
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The real world got slightly more real
(Given all the hype about 10/10/10 you’d think that today being 10/20/2010 would get some life. It is almost, but not quite, a palindrome, which is almost, but not quite, the alternative name for the governor’s mansion in Alaska.)
When I was writing about MTV and Jersey Shore earlier this week I forgot to bring up one important point, which is the fact that the network is promoting both Jersey Shore and Teen Mom simultaneously. Essentially they are saying “If you party, get black out drunk and hook up with everyone you meet we will give you your own television show! And if we don’t give you a show on that go around just come to us when you are pregnant with no future and we will send out the camera crew!” It seems to be a really, really bizarre message to bring.
It’s also amazing to see the difference between what people on MTV’s reality shows do now versus what they did in my time. On the first couple of seasons of the Real World none of the people hooked up with anyone, especially on camera. Even though Pam and Judd ended up getting married from the San Francisco cast you never saw any on screen action. The first that I can remember is the shower scene in Miami (which would be season 5) and then I think you would probably have to go a few years after that. Now, it would be stranger for the stars of the show to not be hooking up.
Now part of this is the fact that we have become a bit more promiscuous as a society over the past 20 years though not by much. Attractive young people tend to sleep with each other no matter what situation they find themselves in. I doubt that it is because MTV is now more eager to show this type of footage because I know people in reality TV and they pretty much kill for these types of scenes. Sex results in ratings pretty easily. No, what I think is the real cause is that the people on the show are much more willing to become exhibitionists in exchange for momentary fame.
Think about it. The cast of the Jersey Shore is not operating under any pretense that they are part of a true to life documentary. This isn’t an attempt to capture the true essence of their existence. They’ve essentially been cast to play a role in real life that is almost, but not entirely, like their actual life. So if that means being filmed in compromising situations so be it. The Situation is going to make four million dollars this year for doing just that. Good work if you can get it.
Now excuse me, I have to bang my head against the wall for the next hour after realizing that someone who calls himself “The Situation” is going to make four million dollars this year.
Wednesday Night Music Club: David Ford is probably my favorite singer that absolutely no one has ever heard of. How this guy isn’t a superstar is beyond me.
When I was writing about MTV and Jersey Shore earlier this week I forgot to bring up one important point, which is the fact that the network is promoting both Jersey Shore and Teen Mom simultaneously. Essentially they are saying “If you party, get black out drunk and hook up with everyone you meet we will give you your own television show! And if we don’t give you a show on that go around just come to us when you are pregnant with no future and we will send out the camera crew!” It seems to be a really, really bizarre message to bring.
It’s also amazing to see the difference between what people on MTV’s reality shows do now versus what they did in my time. On the first couple of seasons of the Real World none of the people hooked up with anyone, especially on camera. Even though Pam and Judd ended up getting married from the San Francisco cast you never saw any on screen action. The first that I can remember is the shower scene in Miami (which would be season 5) and then I think you would probably have to go a few years after that. Now, it would be stranger for the stars of the show to not be hooking up.
Now part of this is the fact that we have become a bit more promiscuous as a society over the past 20 years though not by much. Attractive young people tend to sleep with each other no matter what situation they find themselves in. I doubt that it is because MTV is now more eager to show this type of footage because I know people in reality TV and they pretty much kill for these types of scenes. Sex results in ratings pretty easily. No, what I think is the real cause is that the people on the show are much more willing to become exhibitionists in exchange for momentary fame.
Think about it. The cast of the Jersey Shore is not operating under any pretense that they are part of a true to life documentary. This isn’t an attempt to capture the true essence of their existence. They’ve essentially been cast to play a role in real life that is almost, but not entirely, like their actual life. So if that means being filmed in compromising situations so be it. The Situation is going to make four million dollars this year for doing just that. Good work if you can get it.
Now excuse me, I have to bang my head against the wall for the next hour after realizing that someone who calls himself “The Situation” is going to make four million dollars this year.
Wednesday Night Music Club: David Ford is probably my favorite singer that absolutely no one has ever heard of. How this guy isn’t a superstar is beyond me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Wrestling's dirty little secret
We are two weeks from election day and I feel a need to discuss the one candidate whose appearance on the ballot really upsets me. Surprisingly it is not Delaware’s anti-masturbation witch who, in a debate in front of law school students, was unaware that the first amendment provides for the separation of church and state. No, I can actually understand her candidacy. It is Linda McMahon’s senate campaign that troubles me.
Everyone who knows me understands that I am a wrestling fan. At 37 I really shouldn’t admit that publicly but it is true so you would think that I would be overjoyed at the WWE CEO running for senate. The possibility of the Undertaker having a serious role in governmental affairs is enough to make anyone happy. However, the fact is that wrestling’s dark side is very dark and at some point you have to look at the person in charge. But first we need some facts.
So, here is a breakdown of Wrestlemanias 1, 5, 10, 15, 20 and 25 in terms of numbers of wrestlers on the cards and the number of those wrestlers who have since died. For the record I picked those cards simply due to the fact that they are round numbers and will give a good sense of the sense of time. I’m also giving age and cause of death for completeness sake.
Wrestlemania 1 (3/31/1985)
Number of wrestlers on card: 22
Number of deceased wrestlers: 5: The Executioner (56, natural causes), Special Delivery Jones (63, stroke), The Junkyard Dog (45, car accident), Andre the Giant (46, heart failure), Big John Studd (47, Hodgkins disease).
Notes: The Executioner was “Playboy” Buddy Rose in a mask for those who are wondering. Andre the Giant died of a heart attack that was mainly due to the disease that caused him to be a giant. It was always my understanding that Andre was told when he was younger that he wouldn’t live to see 40 so the fact that he made it to 46 is pretty impressive. While 5 out of 22 is a high number for the most part I wouldn’t tie all of these deaths to the wrestling culture. You could also note that special guest timekeeper Liberace and special guest ring announcer Billy Martin have also both passed on.
Wrestlemania 5 (April 2, 1989)
Number of wrestlers on card: 38
Number of deceased wrestlers: 8: Hercules (47, heart disease), Big Bossman (41), “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig (44, drug overdose), Owen Hart (as the Blue Blazer) (34, in ring accident), Dino Bravo (44, murdered), Andre the Giant, “Ravishing” Rick Rude (40, heart failure), Bad News Brown (63, heart attack)
Notes: I could also add in Miss Elizabeth (who died of a drug overdose) given that she was the focus of the Hulk Hogan – Randy Savage main event. I’m getting my data from Wikipedia (which is surprisingly detailed when it comes to pro wrestling) and they don’t list a cause of death for the Big Bossman but I thought he had a heart attack. Owen Hart of course fell to his death from the rafters of the Kemper Arena in Kansas City. They say that he still haunts the arena and this is one of those few urban legends where I actually know who “they” are.
Wrestlemania 10 (March 20, 1994)
Number of wrestlers on card: 20
Number of deceased wrestlers: 6: Owen Hart, Bam Bam Bigelow (45, drug overdose), Luna Vachon (48, likely drug overdose), Crush (44, likely drug overdose), Yokozuna (34, heart failure), Earthquake (42, bladder cancer)
Notes: I put down likely drug overdose for Luna Vachon and Crush because it isn’t entirely clear what the actual cause of death was but it seemed readily apparent that drugs played a role. I’m also not entirely sure who wrestled as Doink the Clown on this show as about a half dozen people put on the makeup in that role so he may very well be immortal. “Earthquake” John Tenta’s death was one that has always bummed me out because he was a really great guy and is one of the few people on this list whose death had nothing to really do with the wrestling business.
Wrestlemania 15 (March 28, 1999)
Number of wrestlers on card: 25
Number of deceased wrestlers: 3: Owen Hart, Test (33, drug overdose), The Big Bossman
Notes: Not much, really, other than it is really depressing to write Owen’s name down over and over again.
Wrestlemania 20 (March 14, 2004)
Number of wrestlers on card: 50
Number of deceased wrestlers: 3: Garrison Cade (29, heart failure), Eddie Guerrero (38, heart failure), Chris Benoit (40, suicide)
Notes: It is still insane to note that this card (which was only six years ago) ended with Eddie and Benoit hugging in the ring both holding championship belts and a few years later both would be dead. As everyone knows Benoit murdered his wife and son before committing suicide in a series of events that I don’t think I’ll ever quite understand. Also, 50 wrestlers on a card is way too much. This show could have really used an editor.
Wrestlemania 25 (April 5, 2009)
Number of wrestlers on card: 47
Number of deceased wrestlers: 0
Notes: To my knowledge, the last appearance of a wrestler who is now deceased is Umaga (36, drug overdose) at Wrestlemania 24.
Now people can take this information and spin it a lot of ways but I can only see this as being a surprisingly large number of people who died before they reached fifty. This is made more stunning by the fact that they are athletes and should be in better physical condition than the average person. Obviously, drugs in the form of steroids and others play a huge role and this is why I have an issue with Linda McMahon running for senate.
What few people understand is that wrestlers work as independent contractors. The wrestler is not an employee of the WWE and as a result does not have benefits like health insurance and often has to pay their own way to travel from show to show. They are not in a union even though all sports leagues typically have a union and they are on weekly TV but cannot qualify for the Screen Actors Guild. I know that recently the WWE has at least set up programs to help out with insurance and substance issues but for decades pro wrestling has just churned people through the business and often leaving them broken on the other end.
Linda McMahon is the CEO of the WWE. She is on some level responsible for this list. She managed the work environment, she approved the schedule, she was ultimately responsible for the decision to lower Owen Hart from 90 feet in the air on a flimsy harness. I feel guilty knowing that as a fan I supported the business that caused this. But this was her job and she could have easily helped to correct this.
Her only qualification for being a senator is that she managed a billion dollar organization. It just happened to be an organization in which her main public employees were contractors who have a frightening tendency to die young. That to me is not someone you want in public office.
Everyone who knows me understands that I am a wrestling fan. At 37 I really shouldn’t admit that publicly but it is true so you would think that I would be overjoyed at the WWE CEO running for senate. The possibility of the Undertaker having a serious role in governmental affairs is enough to make anyone happy. However, the fact is that wrestling’s dark side is very dark and at some point you have to look at the person in charge. But first we need some facts.
So, here is a breakdown of Wrestlemanias 1, 5, 10, 15, 20 and 25 in terms of numbers of wrestlers on the cards and the number of those wrestlers who have since died. For the record I picked those cards simply due to the fact that they are round numbers and will give a good sense of the sense of time. I’m also giving age and cause of death for completeness sake.
Wrestlemania 1 (3/31/1985)
Number of wrestlers on card: 22
Number of deceased wrestlers: 5: The Executioner (56, natural causes), Special Delivery Jones (63, stroke), The Junkyard Dog (45, car accident), Andre the Giant (46, heart failure), Big John Studd (47, Hodgkins disease).
Notes: The Executioner was “Playboy” Buddy Rose in a mask for those who are wondering. Andre the Giant died of a heart attack that was mainly due to the disease that caused him to be a giant. It was always my understanding that Andre was told when he was younger that he wouldn’t live to see 40 so the fact that he made it to 46 is pretty impressive. While 5 out of 22 is a high number for the most part I wouldn’t tie all of these deaths to the wrestling culture. You could also note that special guest timekeeper Liberace and special guest ring announcer Billy Martin have also both passed on.
Wrestlemania 5 (April 2, 1989)
Number of wrestlers on card: 38
Number of deceased wrestlers: 8: Hercules (47, heart disease), Big Bossman (41), “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig (44, drug overdose), Owen Hart (as the Blue Blazer) (34, in ring accident), Dino Bravo (44, murdered), Andre the Giant, “Ravishing” Rick Rude (40, heart failure), Bad News Brown (63, heart attack)
Notes: I could also add in Miss Elizabeth (who died of a drug overdose) given that she was the focus of the Hulk Hogan – Randy Savage main event. I’m getting my data from Wikipedia (which is surprisingly detailed when it comes to pro wrestling) and they don’t list a cause of death for the Big Bossman but I thought he had a heart attack. Owen Hart of course fell to his death from the rafters of the Kemper Arena in Kansas City. They say that he still haunts the arena and this is one of those few urban legends where I actually know who “they” are.
Wrestlemania 10 (March 20, 1994)
Number of wrestlers on card: 20
Number of deceased wrestlers: 6: Owen Hart, Bam Bam Bigelow (45, drug overdose), Luna Vachon (48, likely drug overdose), Crush (44, likely drug overdose), Yokozuna (34, heart failure), Earthquake (42, bladder cancer)
Notes: I put down likely drug overdose for Luna Vachon and Crush because it isn’t entirely clear what the actual cause of death was but it seemed readily apparent that drugs played a role. I’m also not entirely sure who wrestled as Doink the Clown on this show as about a half dozen people put on the makeup in that role so he may very well be immortal. “Earthquake” John Tenta’s death was one that has always bummed me out because he was a really great guy and is one of the few people on this list whose death had nothing to really do with the wrestling business.
Wrestlemania 15 (March 28, 1999)
Number of wrestlers on card: 25
Number of deceased wrestlers: 3: Owen Hart, Test (33, drug overdose), The Big Bossman
Notes: Not much, really, other than it is really depressing to write Owen’s name down over and over again.
Wrestlemania 20 (March 14, 2004)
Number of wrestlers on card: 50
Number of deceased wrestlers: 3: Garrison Cade (29, heart failure), Eddie Guerrero (38, heart failure), Chris Benoit (40, suicide)
Notes: It is still insane to note that this card (which was only six years ago) ended with Eddie and Benoit hugging in the ring both holding championship belts and a few years later both would be dead. As everyone knows Benoit murdered his wife and son before committing suicide in a series of events that I don’t think I’ll ever quite understand. Also, 50 wrestlers on a card is way too much. This show could have really used an editor.
Wrestlemania 25 (April 5, 2009)
Number of wrestlers on card: 47
Number of deceased wrestlers: 0
Notes: To my knowledge, the last appearance of a wrestler who is now deceased is Umaga (36, drug overdose) at Wrestlemania 24.
Now people can take this information and spin it a lot of ways but I can only see this as being a surprisingly large number of people who died before they reached fifty. This is made more stunning by the fact that they are athletes and should be in better physical condition than the average person. Obviously, drugs in the form of steroids and others play a huge role and this is why I have an issue with Linda McMahon running for senate.
What few people understand is that wrestlers work as independent contractors. The wrestler is not an employee of the WWE and as a result does not have benefits like health insurance and often has to pay their own way to travel from show to show. They are not in a union even though all sports leagues typically have a union and they are on weekly TV but cannot qualify for the Screen Actors Guild. I know that recently the WWE has at least set up programs to help out with insurance and substance issues but for decades pro wrestling has just churned people through the business and often leaving them broken on the other end.
Linda McMahon is the CEO of the WWE. She is on some level responsible for this list. She managed the work environment, she approved the schedule, she was ultimately responsible for the decision to lower Owen Hart from 90 feet in the air on a flimsy harness. I feel guilty knowing that as a fan I supported the business that caused this. But this was her job and she could have easily helped to correct this.
Her only qualification for being a senator is that she managed a billion dollar organization. It just happened to be an organization in which her main public employees were contractors who have a frightening tendency to die young. That to me is not someone you want in public office.
Monday, October 18, 2010
I need friends like J420 and Johnny Yanks
I’ll start out with the easiest joke of the day. Obama is going to appear on an episode of Mythbusters. Let’s all place bets on whether or not he brings his birth certificate.
(He is going to be on the show in an attempt to promote math and science education. Here is my suggestion to the President. If you want to promote math and science education could you know, not cut NASA’s budget to the point where we have no way to launch a human being into space. We’re spending money like it is going out of style yet we will have for the first time in 50 years no way to independently put someone into space. Insane.)
I spent much of yesterday watching a Jersey Shore marathon. I’m not sure what that says about my life at the moment but the facts are the facts. One can learn an incredible amount by watching something like six hours of MTV featuring a group of people who for some reason are a strange shade of orange. Some random thoughts…
1) Apparently MTV’s viewership is composed almost entirely of people with incredibly bad acne. Every commercial break featured at least one advertisement for highly technical skin care treatments. We have moved beyond the days of the Neutragena girl and are now into full medical treatments.
2) On that note, can someone please correct Katy Perry on the following: in her commercial she complains about her acne blemishes near her mouth because “she’s a singer and everyone is looking at the microphone.” No, Katy, I can guarantee you that when you are on stage absolutely no one is looking at your face. No one even cares if you are singing. There are only two reasons why you have any popularity at the moment and you know precisely where they are located.
3) Despite the fact that the cast is working in a gelato shop we have learned very little about the making of gelato. Or the various work schedules of the cast mates. In fact, all we know is that a) the guys use the job to get numbers and b) Snooki is too short to actually see over the top of the stand.
4) When buying a gift for a girl you met a few days ago, I would recommend not giving her a Fossil watch in a plastic Macy’s bag. Even I know better than that.
5) After watching the show for a while you begin to become amazed when the cast does anything remotely resembling that of an activity associated with human beings like cooking a meal. You seriously wonder if they would be able to correctly understand concepts like “fire” and “heat”.
6) The strangest thing I realized after watching one of the episodes? I think I know the guy who did the sound. To think that if I had played my cards right I could have been out there partying with them in Miami.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Sheryl Crow “Sheryl Crow”
2) Peabody “Heroine”
3) Alejandro Escovedo “Bourbonitis Blues”
4) Soundtrack “Before Sunrise and Before Sunset”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Halls of Shame”
(He is going to be on the show in an attempt to promote math and science education. Here is my suggestion to the President. If you want to promote math and science education could you know, not cut NASA’s budget to the point where we have no way to launch a human being into space. We’re spending money like it is going out of style yet we will have for the first time in 50 years no way to independently put someone into space. Insane.)
I spent much of yesterday watching a Jersey Shore marathon. I’m not sure what that says about my life at the moment but the facts are the facts. One can learn an incredible amount by watching something like six hours of MTV featuring a group of people who for some reason are a strange shade of orange. Some random thoughts…
1) Apparently MTV’s viewership is composed almost entirely of people with incredibly bad acne. Every commercial break featured at least one advertisement for highly technical skin care treatments. We have moved beyond the days of the Neutragena girl and are now into full medical treatments.
2) On that note, can someone please correct Katy Perry on the following: in her commercial she complains about her acne blemishes near her mouth because “she’s a singer and everyone is looking at the microphone.” No, Katy, I can guarantee you that when you are on stage absolutely no one is looking at your face. No one even cares if you are singing. There are only two reasons why you have any popularity at the moment and you know precisely where they are located.
3) Despite the fact that the cast is working in a gelato shop we have learned very little about the making of gelato. Or the various work schedules of the cast mates. In fact, all we know is that a) the guys use the job to get numbers and b) Snooki is too short to actually see over the top of the stand.
4) When buying a gift for a girl you met a few days ago, I would recommend not giving her a Fossil watch in a plastic Macy’s bag. Even I know better than that.
5) After watching the show for a while you begin to become amazed when the cast does anything remotely resembling that of an activity associated with human beings like cooking a meal. You seriously wonder if they would be able to correctly understand concepts like “fire” and “heat”.
6) The strangest thing I realized after watching one of the episodes? I think I know the guy who did the sound. To think that if I had played my cards right I could have been out there partying with them in Miami.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Sheryl Crow “Sheryl Crow”
2) Peabody “Heroine”
3) Alejandro Escovedo “Bourbonitis Blues”
4) Soundtrack “Before Sunrise and Before Sunset”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Halls of Shame”
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Best thrill ride ever
So like pretty much everyone else I spent last night (and a good portion of today) watching the Chilean mine rescue. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen and though it caused me to miss a blog post I have to say that I am glad that I watched it. I do have a few thoughts and comments on the events though.
1) Nothing is braver than being the first rescuer down the mineshaft. It is basically a case of “We are sending you down to a place where 33 people have been trapped for over two months in a box that we have tested but aren’t entirely sure works. Oh yeah, and when you get there you are going to have to stay down there for a while. Don’t worry, we promise we’ll bring you back up. Eventually.”
2) That said, the image of him and the rescue pod getting down to the miners is going to be one of my favorites for a long time. First, because somehow they sent down a camera crew with a satellite linkup before the rescuer (or at least that is what it seemed like.) And secondly, did anyone catch the stance the rescuer gave when addressing the miners? He had his hands on his hips, chest out in the classic superman pose. In that situation though that was entirely what was called for. He had to convey extremely important information to a group of people who could be too busy celebrating to actually listen. He took control of the room just through posture alone.
3) The announcers did kind of blow it when, as the first rescued miner appeared, they said “now there are only 32 men left underground.” No, it was still 33 since the rescuer was down there. At that point they technically hadn’t rescued anyone. More like tagged someone out.
4) I’m more than a bit surprised at how healthy they are. They had been receiving supplies from the surface for the past month or so which did mean that they were not starving to death. But most of them seemed very excited and energetic and all walked out of the capsule without any issue. For spending two months in cramped quarters underground, with the first few weeks essentially without food or water, that is really impressive.
5) More impressive is the miner who invited his wife and his mistress to greet him once he reached the surface. His thought must have been, “Hell, if I survived this I might as well knock out this introduction while I am at it.” Though I must think there is another miner who has requested to be the last one up simply because he would much rather stay underground than deal with his life back up on the surface.
6) By the way, does anyone else wonder if these guys will have to be back at work on Monday? I mean, they’ve spent the past two months doing absolutely nothing. You would have at least thought that they would have done some mining while they were down there. While I kid about when they’ll go back the thing is these guys will almost all go back to work in the mines. That is what they do for a living.
7) I saw an interesting discussion online today about whether or not we should refer to the miners as heroes. I agree in that hero is probably not the right term for them. Surviving in and of itself is not a heroic task. However, these guys showed a will to live and work together that is just awe inspiring. The facts are incredible. For two weeks they were trapped a half mile underground with no idea if anyone was even looking for them. Then they were told that it would be months before they could be rescued. Yet these 33 guys kept each other going and you heard no stories of fights or arguments or people breaking down. Each supported the other. I don’t know if that counts as heroism per se but it is certainly admirable.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I’m probably way behind the curve in liking the Decemberists but hey, at least I am in the right decade. I think…
1) Nothing is braver than being the first rescuer down the mineshaft. It is basically a case of “We are sending you down to a place where 33 people have been trapped for over two months in a box that we have tested but aren’t entirely sure works. Oh yeah, and when you get there you are going to have to stay down there for a while. Don’t worry, we promise we’ll bring you back up. Eventually.”
2) That said, the image of him and the rescue pod getting down to the miners is going to be one of my favorites for a long time. First, because somehow they sent down a camera crew with a satellite linkup before the rescuer (or at least that is what it seemed like.) And secondly, did anyone catch the stance the rescuer gave when addressing the miners? He had his hands on his hips, chest out in the classic superman pose. In that situation though that was entirely what was called for. He had to convey extremely important information to a group of people who could be too busy celebrating to actually listen. He took control of the room just through posture alone.
3) The announcers did kind of blow it when, as the first rescued miner appeared, they said “now there are only 32 men left underground.” No, it was still 33 since the rescuer was down there. At that point they technically hadn’t rescued anyone. More like tagged someone out.
4) I’m more than a bit surprised at how healthy they are. They had been receiving supplies from the surface for the past month or so which did mean that they were not starving to death. But most of them seemed very excited and energetic and all walked out of the capsule without any issue. For spending two months in cramped quarters underground, with the first few weeks essentially without food or water, that is really impressive.
5) More impressive is the miner who invited his wife and his mistress to greet him once he reached the surface. His thought must have been, “Hell, if I survived this I might as well knock out this introduction while I am at it.” Though I must think there is another miner who has requested to be the last one up simply because he would much rather stay underground than deal with his life back up on the surface.
6) By the way, does anyone else wonder if these guys will have to be back at work on Monday? I mean, they’ve spent the past two months doing absolutely nothing. You would have at least thought that they would have done some mining while they were down there. While I kid about when they’ll go back the thing is these guys will almost all go back to work in the mines. That is what they do for a living.
7) I saw an interesting discussion online today about whether or not we should refer to the miners as heroes. I agree in that hero is probably not the right term for them. Surviving in and of itself is not a heroic task. However, these guys showed a will to live and work together that is just awe inspiring. The facts are incredible. For two weeks they were trapped a half mile underground with no idea if anyone was even looking for them. Then they were told that it would be months before they could be rescued. Yet these 33 guys kept each other going and you heard no stories of fights or arguments or people breaking down. Each supported the other. I don’t know if that counts as heroism per se but it is certainly admirable.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I’m probably way behind the curve in liking the Decemberists but hey, at least I am in the right decade. I think…
Monday, October 11, 2010
Quick, the miners are coming to the surface. Everybody hide!
Ok, it might not matter to anyone else but I am proud that I am able to write a 2,000 word essay on the Beastie Boys “You’ve Got to Fight For Your Right To Party” and find out that someone from Iran read it because I know of no better audience for learning the ideals of fighting for your right to party. Though I expect that there is one thoroughly confused government censor right now trying to figure out the meaning behind a “Tabitha Soren.”
Also, does anyone else want all of the people waiting outside the mine in Chile to all dress in wacky costumes just to mess with the miners heads a little bit? I mean we don’t even have to go over the top and put everyone in bee costumes and explain to them that the killer bees have taken over the planet and now we must all dress like bees in order to prevent certain death. It could be as simple as everyone wearing the exact same blue shirt for no apparent reason. As in everyone for five miles wearing the same shirt. Everyone at the mine, the hospital, the camera crews all without any explanation. It would be like the best episode of Punk’d ever! Admittedly that wouldn’t be much of an accomplishment.
(In great engineering fashion they tested the rescue capsule by sending it down to within ten feet of the miners and then bringing it back up. Nothing like dashing the hopes of guys who have been trapped for over two months. “Well, this is what it would look like if we decided to rescue you.”)
In other news Courtney Cox and David Arquette are separating, which is fascinating news because I like most people assumed that they had divorced like six years ago. For a celebrity couple that never made sense in the first place they were together for a good decade plus. Given my position as a cynical bastard I am hoping that this is due to a Jennifer Aniston – David Arquette relationship just to make that inevitable Friends reunion that much more interesting. And it is inevitable because let’s face it what else does David Schwimmer have going on right now?
That must be the glory and the horror of being on an incredibly popular television show. The great news is that you make a ton of money and get to live off of the proceeds of the reruns for ages. On the other hand you will constantly be referred to as the person who has done absolutely nothing since their show went off the air. “Oh, I decided to go back to my true love: live theater” which is basically just saying that you can’t get a job in Hollywood to save your life and you are just waiting for the phone call for the televised reunion special. It must suck to be rich and famous.
Also, does anyone else want all of the people waiting outside the mine in Chile to all dress in wacky costumes just to mess with the miners heads a little bit? I mean we don’t even have to go over the top and put everyone in bee costumes and explain to them that the killer bees have taken over the planet and now we must all dress like bees in order to prevent certain death. It could be as simple as everyone wearing the exact same blue shirt for no apparent reason. As in everyone for five miles wearing the same shirt. Everyone at the mine, the hospital, the camera crews all without any explanation. It would be like the best episode of Punk’d ever! Admittedly that wouldn’t be much of an accomplishment.
(In great engineering fashion they tested the rescue capsule by sending it down to within ten feet of the miners and then bringing it back up. Nothing like dashing the hopes of guys who have been trapped for over two months. “Well, this is what it would look like if we decided to rescue you.”)
In other news Courtney Cox and David Arquette are separating, which is fascinating news because I like most people assumed that they had divorced like six years ago. For a celebrity couple that never made sense in the first place they were together for a good decade plus. Given my position as a cynical bastard I am hoping that this is due to a Jennifer Aniston – David Arquette relationship just to make that inevitable Friends reunion that much more interesting. And it is inevitable because let’s face it what else does David Schwimmer have going on right now?
That must be the glory and the horror of being on an incredibly popular television show. The great news is that you make a ton of money and get to live off of the proceeds of the reruns for ages. On the other hand you will constantly be referred to as the person who has done absolutely nothing since their show went off the air. “Oh, I decided to go back to my true love: live theater” which is basically just saying that you can’t get a job in Hollywood to save your life and you are just waiting for the phone call for the televised reunion special. It must suck to be rich and famous.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Deciphering the 80's: Beastie Boys Edition
In order to keep the generous federal grant that I receive for writing this blog (thank you, mindless beauracrats of the overspending Obama administration) I must occasionally provide an educational service in, as my grant proposal puts it, “Developing a deeper understanding of the art and culture of Generation X.” Or more accurately, deciphering the lyrics and music videos of the 1980’s. Tonight we will address the Beastie Boys classic “Fight for your Right to Party”.
Side Note #1: Did everyone else grow up hearing the rumor that one, or possibly all three, of the Beastie Boys died of a cocaine overdose after this single was released. That was definitely the story in the halls of every grade school and high school that I know of. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it has to be true. If not, how the hell did these guys get to be friends with the Dalai Lama?
Video Note #1: The video starts out with three people who look surprisingly like I did in the late 80’s discussing the makings of a party. For the record I only wore tape on my glasses when they were broken and it was going to take a week to get a new pair. Also, what is wrong with having soda and pie at a party? Who the hell doesn’t like pie? And yes, it is sad that throughout this entire video I am going to be identifying with the nerds.
Video Note #2: It appears that this video takes place in the exact same apartment where Cyndi Lauper wanted to have fun. In reality the only thing that would make this video even more awesome is a Captain Lou Albano appearance.
Kick it
I wish they would be slightly more specific about what it is we are supposed to kick. Are we kicking out the jams? Are we kicking the can? Are we kicking the door down as the video implies? Could we ask for at least a little specificity out of our rap lyrics?
You wake up late for school – man you don’t wanna go
You ask your mom, “Please?” – but she still says “No!”
I’ve always taken that this song is addressed towards high school students as a result of this opening couplet. Only a high school student would ask their parents if they had to go to school and then actually follow the given advice. A college sophomore probably doesn’t feel that way about Geology 101. Or more accurately they just would stay in bed hungover from the Jager shots the night before.
Also, why does waking up late for school make you not want to go? If you had woken up on time would that make you want to go to school? Wouldn’t you rather not go to school regardless? True, there is the sense that by being late you might be able to turn it into a sick day but the logic of needing to sleep late in order to have the right to party seems a little strained.
Video Note #3: For a bunch of nerds they have a surprisingly large number of attractive women at the party prior to the bad people arriving. And setting fire to a Popular Science magazine is just blasphemy.
You missed two classes – and no homework
This line has always troubled me. Ok, you missed two classes but you didn’t miss any homework. Isn’t that a win win? You got to sleep late and you don’t have any homework to do tonight. Sounds like the start of the best day ever in my book.
But your teacher preaches class like you’re some kind of jerk
Love the double meaning of class here as it can reference the physical act of attending a session of learning or the more ethereal sense of style and sophistication.
You’ve gotta fight for your right to party
I was always upset that Thomas Jefferson did not include the right to party in the Declaration of Independence. The right to pursue happiness just isn’t the same thing. We need a specific constitutional amendment guaranteeing our right to throw a bitchin kegger whenever we have a need to. I would fight for that right.
Video Note #4: I love that the video has a cutout segment to indicate that the punch is being spiked with Spanish Fly; a reference that kids today might not get. Also, apropos of nothing but why is it that at every wedding I now attend people are forcing me to drink punch? I don’t want to drink punch. If I’m thirsty I am going to want either a) water or b) beer so why offer me a third choice that just makes me wish I had one of my first two options. I propose a punch ban at weddings for precisely this reason.
Your pop caught you smoking – and he said, “No Way!”
That hypocrite – smokes two packs a day
Again this has to be about teenagers because who else gets yelled at for being caught smoking. Though smoking back in the late 80’s was not as much of a social stigma as it is today as it is now illegal to smoke in offices, bars, restaurants, or basically anywhere outside of a 100 foot radius circle in central Wyoming on alternate Thursdays. No, I did not sneak cigarettes as a teenager. I had my first when I was 29 and my last when I was 30 thus making me the oldest person in history to succumb to peer pressure. Also, I wouldn’t even want to imagine what a two pack a day habit would cost you now given all the taxes.
Man, living at home is such a drag
Another double meaning here as drag could reference the inhaling of a cigarette or the fact that living under your parents’ roof is a bummer. I bet most people never thought that this song had such lyrical depth.
Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Bust it!)
I must explain this lyric to the youth of America as due to the internet era I don’t believe that they will understand the reference. Being a male teenager in the late 80’s meant two things: 1) a desire to see pornography and 2) the maddening difficulty of obtaining pornography. With the internet anyone with a connection can see whatever they want at any time. Even obtaining a DVD is a rather simple process and today’s teenager has a DVD drive on their laptop or gaming system. While VHS was available in the late 80’s the average household had one VCR, connected to the main television set in the living room, and thus was unable to be used without the parents’ knowledge. Thus led the rise of the “porno mag”, a printed material consisting of images that some might deem erotic or kind of sad depending on how you view such things. Yes, they actually used trees to make these things. Horrible, I know. I apologize for all generations after Gen X for the fact that global warming is directly a result of the printing of Swank.
You’ve got to fight for your right to party
Much like the request to kick it I really wish the Beastie Boys would be more specific in how we are supposed to fight for our right to party. Is it a call to take up arms? Should we have protest marches and sit ins until our right to party is achieved? Or would a simple petition suffice? You’d think that given how stridently behind the party movement they are the Beastie Boys would have given us direct instructions on how to help the cause.
Video Note #5: At this point the nerd is getting some in the bathroom that we know is a bathroom because it has a hand written sign on it that says “Bathroom.” This implies that either a) in the house that this video takes place they have a need to indicate the bathroom with a handwritten sign or b) that we the viewing audience need to be aware that this is the bathroom as opposed to the bedroom or coat closet. Sadly, I think the answer is A.
Video Note #6: Also, this is the point in the video where the pie fight starts. No one will believe that this is true but this song and the Beastie Boys in general were essentially banned due to being viewed as obscene. In my little suburban world they were the most dangerous band in existence. Yet there video features people throwing pies at each other. Maybe the 80’s were a little nicer than I originally thought.
Don’t step out of this house if that’s the clothes you’re gonna wear
I’ll kick you out of my home if you don’t cut that hair
Personally if I lived in this house I would wear the offensive clothes and not cut my hair thus putting my parents in an utter paradox to the point where I become the Schrödinger Houseguest. Also, these lyrics are perfectly applicable today as the clothes you’re gonna wear references Ed Hardy or Affliction t-shirts and that all of you kids with those damn emo haircuts should cut your hair.
Your mom busted in and said “What’s that noise?”
Aw, mom you’re just jealous – it’s the Beastie Boys
I never quite understood the meta reference here as the band is referencing a teenager listening to the band when this single was their very first release. Thus no kid could actually have been listening to the Beastie Boys when they recorded the song because the Beastie Boys did not technically exist as a commercial act. It creates another paradox in a song that is littered with them. Also, I wouldn’t think that the mom would be jealous. More overly concerned with the noise pollution.
Video Note #7: At this part of the video you get to see my favorite hidden gem of any music video of all time. In the final party scene one of the partygoers is a very young Tabitha Soren. She’s in the center right by the table sporting some awesome mall hair. I know that teenagers today will not get the reference but given that every guy my age had a crush on her due to her continual appearance on MTV News the fact that she partied with the Beastie Boys just made me fall for her even more.
You’ve got to fight for your right to party
So at the end of the video we see that a party is defined as loud music, some random hooking up, the destruction of an analog television set with a hammer and a pie fight. While that is something I would certainly fight for the right to having because again who doesn’t like pie but doesn’t this seem like a rather lame party? Would you leave this party thinking it was the most epic event you had ever attended? Ok, the guy who randomly hooked up with Tabitha Soren would but what about everyone else? And who is leading the anti-party coalition? I need to know who we are up against.
This ends our lesson. Any requests for the next subject?
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Get Up Kids “Something to Write Home About”
2) Toad the Wet Sprocket “Dulcinea”
3) The Subdudes “Annunciation”
4) U2 “The Joshua Tree”
5) Dave Matthews Band “Live at Red Rocks”
Side Note #1: Did everyone else grow up hearing the rumor that one, or possibly all three, of the Beastie Boys died of a cocaine overdose after this single was released. That was definitely the story in the halls of every grade school and high school that I know of. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it has to be true. If not, how the hell did these guys get to be friends with the Dalai Lama?
Video Note #1: The video starts out with three people who look surprisingly like I did in the late 80’s discussing the makings of a party. For the record I only wore tape on my glasses when they were broken and it was going to take a week to get a new pair. Also, what is wrong with having soda and pie at a party? Who the hell doesn’t like pie? And yes, it is sad that throughout this entire video I am going to be identifying with the nerds.
Video Note #2: It appears that this video takes place in the exact same apartment where Cyndi Lauper wanted to have fun. In reality the only thing that would make this video even more awesome is a Captain Lou Albano appearance.
Kick it
I wish they would be slightly more specific about what it is we are supposed to kick. Are we kicking out the jams? Are we kicking the can? Are we kicking the door down as the video implies? Could we ask for at least a little specificity out of our rap lyrics?
You wake up late for school – man you don’t wanna go
You ask your mom, “Please?” – but she still says “No!”
I’ve always taken that this song is addressed towards high school students as a result of this opening couplet. Only a high school student would ask their parents if they had to go to school and then actually follow the given advice. A college sophomore probably doesn’t feel that way about Geology 101. Or more accurately they just would stay in bed hungover from the Jager shots the night before.
Also, why does waking up late for school make you not want to go? If you had woken up on time would that make you want to go to school? Wouldn’t you rather not go to school regardless? True, there is the sense that by being late you might be able to turn it into a sick day but the logic of needing to sleep late in order to have the right to party seems a little strained.
Video Note #3: For a bunch of nerds they have a surprisingly large number of attractive women at the party prior to the bad people arriving. And setting fire to a Popular Science magazine is just blasphemy.
You missed two classes – and no homework
This line has always troubled me. Ok, you missed two classes but you didn’t miss any homework. Isn’t that a win win? You got to sleep late and you don’t have any homework to do tonight. Sounds like the start of the best day ever in my book.
But your teacher preaches class like you’re some kind of jerk
Love the double meaning of class here as it can reference the physical act of attending a session of learning or the more ethereal sense of style and sophistication.
You’ve gotta fight for your right to party
I was always upset that Thomas Jefferson did not include the right to party in the Declaration of Independence. The right to pursue happiness just isn’t the same thing. We need a specific constitutional amendment guaranteeing our right to throw a bitchin kegger whenever we have a need to. I would fight for that right.
Video Note #4: I love that the video has a cutout segment to indicate that the punch is being spiked with Spanish Fly; a reference that kids today might not get. Also, apropos of nothing but why is it that at every wedding I now attend people are forcing me to drink punch? I don’t want to drink punch. If I’m thirsty I am going to want either a) water or b) beer so why offer me a third choice that just makes me wish I had one of my first two options. I propose a punch ban at weddings for precisely this reason.
Your pop caught you smoking – and he said, “No Way!”
That hypocrite – smokes two packs a day
Again this has to be about teenagers because who else gets yelled at for being caught smoking. Though smoking back in the late 80’s was not as much of a social stigma as it is today as it is now illegal to smoke in offices, bars, restaurants, or basically anywhere outside of a 100 foot radius circle in central Wyoming on alternate Thursdays. No, I did not sneak cigarettes as a teenager. I had my first when I was 29 and my last when I was 30 thus making me the oldest person in history to succumb to peer pressure. Also, I wouldn’t even want to imagine what a two pack a day habit would cost you now given all the taxes.
Man, living at home is such a drag
Another double meaning here as drag could reference the inhaling of a cigarette or the fact that living under your parents’ roof is a bummer. I bet most people never thought that this song had such lyrical depth.
Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Bust it!)
I must explain this lyric to the youth of America as due to the internet era I don’t believe that they will understand the reference. Being a male teenager in the late 80’s meant two things: 1) a desire to see pornography and 2) the maddening difficulty of obtaining pornography. With the internet anyone with a connection can see whatever they want at any time. Even obtaining a DVD is a rather simple process and today’s teenager has a DVD drive on their laptop or gaming system. While VHS was available in the late 80’s the average household had one VCR, connected to the main television set in the living room, and thus was unable to be used without the parents’ knowledge. Thus led the rise of the “porno mag”, a printed material consisting of images that some might deem erotic or kind of sad depending on how you view such things. Yes, they actually used trees to make these things. Horrible, I know. I apologize for all generations after Gen X for the fact that global warming is directly a result of the printing of Swank.
You’ve got to fight for your right to party
Much like the request to kick it I really wish the Beastie Boys would be more specific in how we are supposed to fight for our right to party. Is it a call to take up arms? Should we have protest marches and sit ins until our right to party is achieved? Or would a simple petition suffice? You’d think that given how stridently behind the party movement they are the Beastie Boys would have given us direct instructions on how to help the cause.
Video Note #5: At this point the nerd is getting some in the bathroom that we know is a bathroom because it has a hand written sign on it that says “Bathroom.” This implies that either a) in the house that this video takes place they have a need to indicate the bathroom with a handwritten sign or b) that we the viewing audience need to be aware that this is the bathroom as opposed to the bedroom or coat closet. Sadly, I think the answer is A.
Video Note #6: Also, this is the point in the video where the pie fight starts. No one will believe that this is true but this song and the Beastie Boys in general were essentially banned due to being viewed as obscene. In my little suburban world they were the most dangerous band in existence. Yet there video features people throwing pies at each other. Maybe the 80’s were a little nicer than I originally thought.
Don’t step out of this house if that’s the clothes you’re gonna wear
I’ll kick you out of my home if you don’t cut that hair
Personally if I lived in this house I would wear the offensive clothes and not cut my hair thus putting my parents in an utter paradox to the point where I become the Schrödinger Houseguest. Also, these lyrics are perfectly applicable today as the clothes you’re gonna wear references Ed Hardy or Affliction t-shirts and that all of you kids with those damn emo haircuts should cut your hair.
Your mom busted in and said “What’s that noise?”
Aw, mom you’re just jealous – it’s the Beastie Boys
I never quite understood the meta reference here as the band is referencing a teenager listening to the band when this single was their very first release. Thus no kid could actually have been listening to the Beastie Boys when they recorded the song because the Beastie Boys did not technically exist as a commercial act. It creates another paradox in a song that is littered with them. Also, I wouldn’t think that the mom would be jealous. More overly concerned with the noise pollution.
Video Note #7: At this part of the video you get to see my favorite hidden gem of any music video of all time. In the final party scene one of the partygoers is a very young Tabitha Soren. She’s in the center right by the table sporting some awesome mall hair. I know that teenagers today will not get the reference but given that every guy my age had a crush on her due to her continual appearance on MTV News the fact that she partied with the Beastie Boys just made me fall for her even more.
You’ve got to fight for your right to party
So at the end of the video we see that a party is defined as loud music, some random hooking up, the destruction of an analog television set with a hammer and a pie fight. While that is something I would certainly fight for the right to having because again who doesn’t like pie but doesn’t this seem like a rather lame party? Would you leave this party thinking it was the most epic event you had ever attended? Ok, the guy who randomly hooked up with Tabitha Soren would but what about everyone else? And who is leading the anti-party coalition? I need to know who we are up against.
This ends our lesson. Any requests for the next subject?
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Get Up Kids “Something to Write Home About”
2) Toad the Wet Sprocket “Dulcinea”
3) The Subdudes “Annunciation”
4) U2 “The Joshua Tree”
5) Dave Matthews Band “Live at Red Rocks”
Thursday, October 07, 2010
I deserve a prize...
I was once again screwed out of the Nobel Prize for Literature for the masterpiece that is Battling the Current. If I don’t get the Peace Prize I am seriously going to have to bust some heads. I mean it was one thing that I didn’t pick up the McArthur Foundation Genius Grant but the Nobel Prize? Doesn’t everyone get one of those? It’s like a participant ribbon now.
Actually, the Nobel Prize committee is continuing their trend of giving the prize in literature to someone who no one has ever read. I like to consider myself worldly and well read but for the life of me I can’t recall ever hearing the winner’s name before. I’m not a believer in the best author sells the most books (in the same sense that the cast of Glee is not better than the Beatles just because they have more Billboard Top 100 singles) but you would think that to win you should reach a level of mainstream consciousness. But that is the Norwegians for you.
I’m pretty much spent mentally and physically right now. Long week in the office, a couple of tough workouts and a continuation of news in real life that just makes me wish that this year would end just so I could have a fresh start. As a result, I’m just going to post one of my guilty pleasure songs. As a music critic more than a fan I can’t really explain why I love this song so much. It just forces you to smile. Plus, the video takes place in a mall and makes fun of Marilyn Manson. What more can you want?
Actually, the Nobel Prize committee is continuing their trend of giving the prize in literature to someone who no one has ever read. I like to consider myself worldly and well read but for the life of me I can’t recall ever hearing the winner’s name before. I’m not a believer in the best author sells the most books (in the same sense that the cast of Glee is not better than the Beatles just because they have more Billboard Top 100 singles) but you would think that to win you should reach a level of mainstream consciousness. But that is the Norwegians for you.
I’m pretty much spent mentally and physically right now. Long week in the office, a couple of tough workouts and a continuation of news in real life that just makes me wish that this year would end just so I could have a fresh start. As a result, I’m just going to post one of my guilty pleasure songs. As a music critic more than a fan I can’t really explain why I love this song so much. It just forces you to smile. Plus, the video takes place in a mall and makes fun of Marilyn Manson. What more can you want?
Just how popular am I online?
I’ve been writing a lot recently about the idea of privacy in the internet age and just how once you open yourself to the internet the entire world knows everything about you. Since I just received a new set of yearly visitor stats on my blog I thought that it would be neat to examine them. Remember, I have never really promoted my blog outside of people I know. Even that has been low key (except for those of you who haven’t blocked me on the Facebook feed.) Here are the stats.
· I had 5,388 unique visitors last year or an average of 14.8 readers a day. This is down from the 17.6 readers a day I averaged the year before primarily due to the fact that I posted a lot less and didn’t get linked to from the Frames fan blog like I did in January 2009. The drop bums me out but life got in the way of writing this year
· The breakout of visitors by country is as follows: US: 83.9%, United Kingdom: 4.1%, Canada: 2.8%, Germany: 1.1%, Australia: 0.6%, Norway: 0.5%, Spain: 0.4%, Brazil: 0.4%, Rest of the World: 6.2%. For the record, I don’t know anyone in Norway and can’t recall if any of my friends are living in the UK at the moment.
· So who is in the rest of the world? Such fascinating places as South Africa, Latvia, Cyprus, United Arab Emirates, Nigeria, Ghana, Belize, Malawi, Iran, Bahrain, and Guernsey. Do you know where Guernsey is? It is a channel island between England and France with a population of 65,573 people. One of them visited my blog.
· Google has let me know what search term has brought the most people to my blog. That term? “Strawberry shortcake enemy”. I am the first link on Google for that search and it links to a post of mine that doesn’t even answer the question. It’s the Peculiar Purple Pie Man by the way.
So when you put your life story online just know this is how far it can travel.
· I had 5,388 unique visitors last year or an average of 14.8 readers a day. This is down from the 17.6 readers a day I averaged the year before primarily due to the fact that I posted a lot less and didn’t get linked to from the Frames fan blog like I did in January 2009. The drop bums me out but life got in the way of writing this year
· The breakout of visitors by country is as follows: US: 83.9%, United Kingdom: 4.1%, Canada: 2.8%, Germany: 1.1%, Australia: 0.6%, Norway: 0.5%, Spain: 0.4%, Brazil: 0.4%, Rest of the World: 6.2%. For the record, I don’t know anyone in Norway and can’t recall if any of my friends are living in the UK at the moment.
· So who is in the rest of the world? Such fascinating places as South Africa, Latvia, Cyprus, United Arab Emirates, Nigeria, Ghana, Belize, Malawi, Iran, Bahrain, and Guernsey. Do you know where Guernsey is? It is a channel island between England and France with a population of 65,573 people. One of them visited my blog.
· Google has let me know what search term has brought the most people to my blog. That term? “Strawberry shortcake enemy”. I am the first link on Google for that search and it links to a post of mine that doesn’t even answer the question. It’s the Peculiar Purple Pie Man by the way.
So when you put your life story online just know this is how far it can travel.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Ain't she a beautiful sight?
There was a question last night from one of my readers for me to explain just what the hell the deal was with CB Radio in the 1970’s. Ok, it wasn’t put that way but basically I need to explain the completely bizarre fact that for a portion of the late 1970’s Americans fell madly in love with the idea of people driving big tractor trailer trucks. This was pretty much the perfect definition of a fad.
There were two defining moments to the trucker movement. The first was the release of the song “Convoy” by C. W. McCall, which as I mentioned yesterday was a number one single in 1975 beating out “Saturday Night” by the Bay City Rollers and “I Write the Songs” by Barry Manilow. Dear god, did the mid seventies suck for music. Anyway, Convoy is half spoken, half sung number in which the main plot is that a group of trucks have joined forces on the highway in an effort to protest gas prices, toll booths and hippies. Here is the video…
As you can tell this song makes absolutely no sense at all. That is unless you talk CB radio, which is like speaking British English in the fact that you know what the words mean but the sentences are incomprehensible. In that “bears” are police officers, “what’s your 20” means where are you and “Rubber Duck” means….ok, I’ve never figured that one out. Again, this was a hit song.
The second defining moment was of course the release of Smokey and the Bandit (starring Burt Reynolds and Sally Field) in 1977. This was the second highest grossing film for the year behind only Star Wars. That is the seventies for you. The film is essentially the story of Burt Reynolds and company illegally driving a shipment of Coors beer to Georgia. At the time, Coors was illegal in the state of Georgia; a law that I see no reason why it was ever overturned. We’re not talking Coors Light here; we’re talking actually Coors which is like Miller in that I can’t recall seeing anyone ever drink it even in an ironic sense. Anyway, the movie is one big car chase combined with most of the characters talking over a CB radio in slang, Jackie Gleason acting upset, and Burt Reynolds hooking up with Sally Field.
Now the bigger question is why the hell was all this popular? I’d give part of the reason to the fact that CB radio was a bit of a precursor to cell phones and the internet in which you could connect with people outside of regular channels. Plus, it had its own unique language so there was a sense of the underground to it. That doesn’t explain the admiration of truckers though. Mainly I take that as a response to the oil crisis. Given the price of gas it was tough to drive anywhere so the guys who could still take to the open road were given a sense of awe. And who wasn’t against toll roads? I’m not saying it made sense because once American culture ever starts to make sense we are basically doomed.
There were two defining moments to the trucker movement. The first was the release of the song “Convoy” by C. W. McCall, which as I mentioned yesterday was a number one single in 1975 beating out “Saturday Night” by the Bay City Rollers and “I Write the Songs” by Barry Manilow. Dear god, did the mid seventies suck for music. Anyway, Convoy is half spoken, half sung number in which the main plot is that a group of trucks have joined forces on the highway in an effort to protest gas prices, toll booths and hippies. Here is the video…
As you can tell this song makes absolutely no sense at all. That is unless you talk CB radio, which is like speaking British English in the fact that you know what the words mean but the sentences are incomprehensible. In that “bears” are police officers, “what’s your 20” means where are you and “Rubber Duck” means….ok, I’ve never figured that one out. Again, this was a hit song.
The second defining moment was of course the release of Smokey and the Bandit (starring Burt Reynolds and Sally Field) in 1977. This was the second highest grossing film for the year behind only Star Wars. That is the seventies for you. The film is essentially the story of Burt Reynolds and company illegally driving a shipment of Coors beer to Georgia. At the time, Coors was illegal in the state of Georgia; a law that I see no reason why it was ever overturned. We’re not talking Coors Light here; we’re talking actually Coors which is like Miller in that I can’t recall seeing anyone ever drink it even in an ironic sense. Anyway, the movie is one big car chase combined with most of the characters talking over a CB radio in slang, Jackie Gleason acting upset, and Burt Reynolds hooking up with Sally Field.
Now the bigger question is why the hell was all this popular? I’d give part of the reason to the fact that CB radio was a bit of a precursor to cell phones and the internet in which you could connect with people outside of regular channels. Plus, it had its own unique language so there was a sense of the underground to it. That doesn’t explain the admiration of truckers though. Mainly I take that as a response to the oil crisis. Given the price of gas it was tough to drive anywhere so the guys who could still take to the open road were given a sense of awe. And who wasn’t against toll roads? I’m not saying it made sense because once American culture ever starts to make sense we are basically doomed.
Monday, October 04, 2010
Embracing your inner geek
I am so upset that no one asked me what today’s date was just so I could answer “Ten four good buddy.” Ever since the end of the CB radio era in the late 70’s you really only get one day a year where you can use that phrase in polite conversation. Actually, there is one fad we could really use a return of. I know that the trucker hat has seen a rebirth and merciful end of its popularity but I don’t know why we can’t all have CB handles and have “Convoy” blasting from our stereos at every possible moment.
(Convoy was a number one hit in the US and reached number two on the UK charts. Ah, the seventies. The time that culture forgot. Except for Dynamite magazine; that was freaking awesome.)
Also, I must note that I completely missed Talk Like a Pirate Day this year. It has typically been a blog holiday along with Pi Day, Pi Approximation Day and the Mole Minute on June 2 at 10:24 A.M. Oh and Star Wars Day on May 4th. Basically, any legitimate reason for me to be a geek is considered a holiday in my mind. How I am lucky enough to have a wonderful fiancé like Kim is beyond me.
I know that people make fun of me for being a geek (and for the fact that I am 37 and am still proud of the fact that I can tell you that the name of Jabba the Hutt’s court jester was Salacious Crumb) but there is a sense of liberation that comes with never being the cool kid. And I never was at any moment in time in my life. I’ve never been at the top of any social structure, never had the envy of my peers in that sense. But what that has meant over time is that I have learned to not give a damn about what anyone thinks about me. If you know you are going to lose the popularity contest you suddenly learn that you no longer have to play.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve seen people who are still trying to win the popularity game when in reality it ended ages ago. Look at your friends on Facebook and all of these people from your past who are still broadcasting every moment of their lives in an effort to gain what exactly? Attention? Notoriety? A brief sense of accomplishment? I know I shouldn’t critique given what I do but most of my writing is a critique of myself. I’m not overly concerned with what others think; I’m more interested in enjoying my time here and if that means making Star Wars jokes so be it. Life is so damn short that I can be bothered wasting time trying to act cool just so other people will be happy.
(Convoy was a number one hit in the US and reached number two on the UK charts. Ah, the seventies. The time that culture forgot. Except for Dynamite magazine; that was freaking awesome.)
Also, I must note that I completely missed Talk Like a Pirate Day this year. It has typically been a blog holiday along with Pi Day, Pi Approximation Day and the Mole Minute on June 2 at 10:24 A.M. Oh and Star Wars Day on May 4th. Basically, any legitimate reason for me to be a geek is considered a holiday in my mind. How I am lucky enough to have a wonderful fiancé like Kim is beyond me.
I know that people make fun of me for being a geek (and for the fact that I am 37 and am still proud of the fact that I can tell you that the name of Jabba the Hutt’s court jester was Salacious Crumb) but there is a sense of liberation that comes with never being the cool kid. And I never was at any moment in time in my life. I’ve never been at the top of any social structure, never had the envy of my peers in that sense. But what that has meant over time is that I have learned to not give a damn about what anyone thinks about me. If you know you are going to lose the popularity contest you suddenly learn that you no longer have to play.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve seen people who are still trying to win the popularity game when in reality it ended ages ago. Look at your friends on Facebook and all of these people from your past who are still broadcasting every moment of their lives in an effort to gain what exactly? Attention? Notoriety? A brief sense of accomplishment? I know I shouldn’t critique given what I do but most of my writing is a critique of myself. I’m not overly concerned with what others think; I’m more interested in enjoying my time here and if that means making Star Wars jokes so be it. Life is so damn short that I can be bothered wasting time trying to act cool just so other people will be happy.
Sunday, October 03, 2010
We are all on tv
I assume most people have heard about the Rutgers suicide story already. It is a pretty tragic and appalling story. A guy sets up his webcam to broadcast his roommate making out with a guy and broadcasts it over the internet and even mentioning it on his Twitter account. A few days later his roommate commits suicide, literally updating his Facebook status about what he was doing moments before jumping off the George Washington bridge. The end result is one 18 year old dead, two other 18 year olds looking at up to five years in prison and a lot of people questioning youth and technology.
I often wonder how I would survive being a teenager today. Part of me thinks that I would have been better off. I’ve always been more comfortable interacting with people through writing more than actually dealing with them directly (thankfully I’ve improved on this since high school.) But, I could imagine myself keeping a blog as a high school kid and maybe the fact that I could write something interesting and funny would make those teenage years slightly more bearable.
However, teenagers are by their very nature cruel and vindictive. You are at a point in your life where you can first taste real power, where all you want to do is test boundaries and see what you can get away with. You tend not to think about consequences because up to this point your actions really haven’t had any long lasting consequences. So while I would love to think that a teenage me blogging would result in people not thinking of me as a complete nerd I’m pretty confident that what I would end up with would be a bunch of Facebook comments calling me a complete nerd. I was the guy who always got prank phone calls; imagine the current version of that.
At least I can say that while I put a portion of my life public on the blog I control what people see and have done so knowing what it is like to have nothing public. Kids in college today have lived their entire lives online and in public. They have always had MySpace or Facebook and constant text messaging. To the roommate this was just another piece of information to send out to the world. It was cruel, definitely, but I bet he had no idea what the consequences were. He assumed that we are all living in one giant reality show. If Ashton Kutcher can use hidden cameras on Punk’d why can’t he? In the same sense how can one be so distraught that suicide is considered a solution but he makes sure to bring his laptop and a cel phone to the bridge so that he can tell the world just what he is doing? Even those moments are part of the reality show.
It is just a sad state of affairs. There are times when technology moves so fast that the cultural changes outpace are ability to grasp the changes. Our connected world has completely changed our sense of distance and openness. 20 years ago I would write letters to a girl in Minnesota that I had met because it was one of the easiest ways to stay in touch. Today, we would do video chats on Skype. In high school I was able to hide behind my books. Now everyone broadcasts their presence to the world.
Best of 120 Minutes (10/3/1993): Afghan Whigs were always one of those bands that I heard people talk about but that I could never get into. On the other hand, this video shows an insanely young Conan O’Brien so it has that going for it.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Jayhawks “Smile”
2) Gomez “How We Operate”
3) Arcade Fire “Neon Bible”
4) Tift Merritt “See You on the Moon”
5) R.E.M. “Live Collection”
I often wonder how I would survive being a teenager today. Part of me thinks that I would have been better off. I’ve always been more comfortable interacting with people through writing more than actually dealing with them directly (thankfully I’ve improved on this since high school.) But, I could imagine myself keeping a blog as a high school kid and maybe the fact that I could write something interesting and funny would make those teenage years slightly more bearable.
However, teenagers are by their very nature cruel and vindictive. You are at a point in your life where you can first taste real power, where all you want to do is test boundaries and see what you can get away with. You tend not to think about consequences because up to this point your actions really haven’t had any long lasting consequences. So while I would love to think that a teenage me blogging would result in people not thinking of me as a complete nerd I’m pretty confident that what I would end up with would be a bunch of Facebook comments calling me a complete nerd. I was the guy who always got prank phone calls; imagine the current version of that.
At least I can say that while I put a portion of my life public on the blog I control what people see and have done so knowing what it is like to have nothing public. Kids in college today have lived their entire lives online and in public. They have always had MySpace or Facebook and constant text messaging. To the roommate this was just another piece of information to send out to the world. It was cruel, definitely, but I bet he had no idea what the consequences were. He assumed that we are all living in one giant reality show. If Ashton Kutcher can use hidden cameras on Punk’d why can’t he? In the same sense how can one be so distraught that suicide is considered a solution but he makes sure to bring his laptop and a cel phone to the bridge so that he can tell the world just what he is doing? Even those moments are part of the reality show.
It is just a sad state of affairs. There are times when technology moves so fast that the cultural changes outpace are ability to grasp the changes. Our connected world has completely changed our sense of distance and openness. 20 years ago I would write letters to a girl in Minnesota that I had met because it was one of the easiest ways to stay in touch. Today, we would do video chats on Skype. In high school I was able to hide behind my books. Now everyone broadcasts their presence to the world.
Best of 120 Minutes (10/3/1993): Afghan Whigs were always one of those bands that I heard people talk about but that I could never get into. On the other hand, this video shows an insanely young Conan O’Brien so it has that going for it.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Jayhawks “Smile”
2) Gomez “How We Operate”
3) Arcade Fire “Neon Bible”
4) Tift Merritt “See You on the Moon”
5) R.E.M. “Live Collection”
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