I need friends like J420 and Johnny Yanks

I’ll start out with the easiest joke of the day. Obama is going to appear on an episode of Mythbusters. Let’s all place bets on whether or not he brings his birth certificate.

(He is going to be on the show in an attempt to promote math and science education. Here is my suggestion to the President. If you want to promote math and science education could you know, not cut NASA’s budget to the point where we have no way to launch a human being into space. We’re spending money like it is going out of style yet we will have for the first time in 50 years no way to independently put someone into space. Insane.)

I spent much of yesterday watching a Jersey Shore marathon. I’m not sure what that says about my life at the moment but the facts are the facts. One can learn an incredible amount by watching something like six hours of MTV featuring a group of people who for some reason are a strange shade of orange. Some random thoughts…

1) Apparently MTV’s viewership is composed almost entirely of people with incredibly bad acne. Every commercial break featured at least one advertisement for highly technical skin care treatments. We have moved beyond the days of the Neutragena girl and are now into full medical treatments.

2) On that note, can someone please correct Katy Perry on the following: in her commercial she complains about her acne blemishes near her mouth because “she’s a singer and everyone is looking at the microphone.” No, Katy, I can guarantee you that when you are on stage absolutely no one is looking at your face. No one even cares if you are singing. There are only two reasons why you have any popularity at the moment and you know precisely where they are located.

3) Despite the fact that the cast is working in a gelato shop we have learned very little about the making of gelato. Or the various work schedules of the cast mates. In fact, all we know is that a) the guys use the job to get numbers and b) Snooki is too short to actually see over the top of the stand.

4) When buying a gift for a girl you met a few days ago, I would recommend not giving her a Fossil watch in a plastic Macy’s bag. Even I know better than that.

5) After watching the show for a while you begin to become amazed when the cast does anything remotely resembling that of an activity associated with human beings like cooking a meal. You seriously wonder if they would be able to correctly understand concepts like “fire” and “heat”.

6) The strangest thing I realized after watching one of the episodes? I think I know the guy who did the sound. To think that if I had played my cards right I could have been out there partying with them in Miami.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Sheryl Crow “Sheryl Crow”
2) Peabody “Heroine”
3) Alejandro Escovedo “Bourbonitis Blues”
4) Soundtrack “Before Sunrise and Before Sunset”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Halls of Shame”