I was wondering...

Time for some more Infrequently Asked Questions…

Question: Given that most of the comments are shown as Anonymous, do you have any idea who precisely is commenting on your blog?

Answer: I’d say that I can figure it out most of the time. There used to be a commenting schedule highlighted by Super Dave’s late night posts after he came back from the bar. I never understood why he felt that my blog was precisely what he needed to read before he went to sleep but the comments were legendary. Typically though I can figure a lot of them out through writing style and what they say and of course some people sign them, which is cool but not really necessary. As long as you can prove that you are not a robot intent on conquering the world you can comment.

But, the most amazing thing is I get comments from people I have never met before. This evening I got one from Max on a post I wrote months ago about Kathleen Edwards. My posting of a Tift Merritt video resulted in responses from a Tift Merritt fan club as well as a discussion of my blog on their blog. That’s not the first time that it has happened and it astounds me. That’s when I realize just how much reach this little piece of cyber real estate might have. But it’s fun wondering who might actually be reading your blog. I personally hope that Eva from earlier this week was really Eva Herzigova. Correct me if I’m wrong but otherwise I’ll take my fantasy world.

All of this is just my way of saying thanks to anyone who comments. I can’t say enough how much I appreciate it.

Question: On The Facts of Life, what was Tootie’s real name?
Answer: Dorothy

Question: Are you, or have ever been, an arrogant bastard?
Answer: This question has come up repeatedly over the past few years. I seem to have gone from being someone who is described as having no self esteem to being described as an arrogant prick. Apparently if I split the difference I would be considered normal for the first time in my life. But that’s a flip response to a serious question that I figured that I should address once and for all.

Most people tie my perceived arrogance to the fact that I am smart and extremely proud of what I know. Now the first point I want to make is that I really don’t consider myself to be very smart. Sure, I’ve collected a lot of pieces of paper that say that I’m smart and can win trivia contests but I don’t consider that to be an accurate measure of intelligence. What I really have going for me is a photographic memory, an aptitude for math, and an innate sense of how systems work. That is great in a classroom and in understanding how electrical systems work, places where everything is regulated and follows specific laws. In the real world (relationships for example) I’m pretty much clueless. So I don’t really consider myself smart, clever maybe but not smart.

That said, there are only a select few people I consider to be smarter than me. To do that you have to prove to me that you can kick my ass in pretty much any subject out there. The latest example is my friend Sharan. She can trump me in knowledge of arts, literature and music, which is impressive but not impossible. Add to that the fact that she also could have gone to MIT and can go toe for toe with me on the math and science side. And to truly win my praise she has actually stumped me with pro wrestling trivia. That’s what you need to do to get me to admit that you’re better than me.

Really, if you want to get down to what my worst quality is, it is that I do not suffer fools kindly. Basically I just can’t stand people who aren’t paying attention to the world around them. It’s not that I’m mean or uncivil to them or that I don’t care about them as human beings. I truly do care about everyone. It’s just that I consider my time to be an incredibly finite resource and people who waste my time are, in the words of my idol Henry Rollins, “Murderers in the nth degree”. They’re taking away minutes of my life that I will never get back and it’s if they are stabbing me with a really tiny knife. So I shut them off and focus on what’s important to me. Arrogance? Probably, but I’m also one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. I am nothing if not a mass of contradictions.

Question: Question

Answer: Funk Dat

Question: Where is the promised track list for the CD?
Answer: Still under development. I’m about three quarters of the way done. In a perfect world I’ll post it over the weekend even though a weekend post would probably confound the entire internet.

Question: Back to The Facts of Life, which of the Facts of Life girls was the first to lose her virginity?
Answer: In what might be a bit of a surprise, it is Natalie. To some dude named Snake of all things. Sometimes having a photographic memory is a dangerous thing.

Question: Think it’s time to head off to sleep?
Answer: Yep, have a great weekend everyone.

Love Loss Hope Repeat

Wednesday Night Music Club: Here is another in my ongoing series “How I discover music”. Tonight’s topic: Carbon Leaf

When I go to shows I always show up in time for the opening act. Even if I don’t know who they are, I’ll be there to catch their set. I just figure that it is part of the price of the ticket. Plus, you never know what you might find. Usually they are less than memorable but sometimes there is a curve ball.

I was there to see Big Head Todd and the Monsters, a show that turned out to be a lot better in theory than in actuality. Not that the band sounded bad, in fact they sounded just like their records. Exactly like their records. I could have stayed home and had the exact same experience. Anyway, the opening act was this group called Carbon Leaf who I had absolutely never heard of. They took the stage and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a band that I hated so much on sight. They seemed to be a walking ad for Abercrombie and Fitch. My first thought was, “Great, a band for all the frat boys in the audience.”

It didn’t help that the lead singer…I’m not sure how to put this. Let’s say that he sings in the same manner that William Shatner acts. Every single line must be emphasized with hand motions and head turns. I stood there and just went “What a douche.” Except that the first song was great as was the second and the third. By the end of the set I was getting in line to pick up a CD.

I’ve ended up seeing the band five or six times now. They are probably one of my favorite live acts now as I can see how they play with passion. Yeah, it is college rock but the guys are just really cool, nice guys. It’s strange how wrong one’s first impression can be. Like I’ve said in the past, I always give an opening act a song to prove me wrong. Carbon Leaf proved me completely wrong, they’re probably one of the best bands you have never heard of. Definitely worth a listen.

I’m not making this up: I had forty dollars riding tonight on my ability to guess what state quarter someone had in their pocket. And I won the bet. Now that takes skill my friends.

Ugh, sorry if I don’t have much else to report tonight. One of the problems that I have with my travel schedule is I always end up getting the worst head cold imaginable. If you fly over a holiday weekend you should wear a hazmat suit or something. There is just something about the airport crowds and recycled air that pretty much insures that you will be coming down with something. On the plus side, it doesn’t feel like the virus of doom that put me in the emergency room in September. It just feels like someone is banging on my head with a small mallet. I’ll go take a nap now.

(Oh, and Brit apparently isn’t pregnant. Not sure if that is worth a breaking news alert but hey, I know that people rely on me for this information.)

Too many notes...

Note to Eva: Typically I am slightly cautious of going to MySpace pages that people send me. That’s due to the fact that the majority of my friend requests seem to come from scantily clad women who are really intent on my checking out their webcams. It’s rather amazing how many of those requests one can receive made even more amazing by the fact that the same profile picture is used on half of them. But I’ll have to say that Erin Ivey has a rather interesting sound (and I dig the fact that I get recommendations on unsigned Austin artists). Plus, anyone who says that they want to connect with fans of The Sundays, Josh Rouse and Kathleen Edwards deserves a listen just due to her taste in music alone.

Note to Readers of Last Night’s Post: I can’t seem to figure out if DRKJEDI would refer to Dark Jedi or Dork Jedi. I didn’t think about that until after I made the post. In retrospect, I think I’ll just go for the personalized UZDFRCE license plate. And yes, that will be all of the Star Wars talk for the week. Don’t worry, I’ll still publicize my Wookie Life Day celebration plans.

Note to No One in Particular: I just realized that I may have figured out a way to die that would be more embarrassing than being trampled to death at a Weird Al concert. I was nearly run over today by a security guard on a Segway. Yep, I really don’t want people to look back at my life and go “EC, man what a great guy. Too bad he got run over by a Segway.”

Anyway, in my continuing efforts to pat myself on the back in order to boost my self-esteem I’d like to point out that Cobra Kai, the fightingest fantasy football team in the land, just built a two game lead with two games to play in the regular season. (It was also the third week where I had the high score in the league.) Since I effectively own the tiebreaker I’m highly confident in a playoff berth for the team. Not bad for a team that lost three running backs to season ending injuries. My quarterback hydra of Favre, Hasselbeck and Anderson have proven unstoppable and my tenth round pick up of Wes Welker may be the best draft pick ever. Of course I now just jinxed myself so expect me to score negative points this week.

I’ll have to admit that that is a better finish than Notre Dame where even in my Playstation 2 version of the season I am looking at a berth in the Brut Sun Bowl. Yes, that’s how bad of a team it was, I am proud to have made it to the Brut Sun Bowl. I mean, it is by Faberge and all. Sometime next week once all the bowl games are announced I’ll do my breakdown. Until then, I might as well admit that I am rooting for Oklahoma on Saturday. This isn’t due to my hating everything that has to do with the part of the country. Ok, that’s part of it but I have a legitimate reason here.

See, if Oklahoma beats Missouri then Ohio State is assured of being in the national title game and not the Rose Bowl. Now, the Rose Bowl would really like to keep a Big Ten-Pac 10 matchup if at all possible. There is only one other Big 10 team that is eligible for a BCS bowl. That team is, of course, my Fighting Illini. Do they deserve to be in a BCS game? Of course not. But it has been over twenty years since we played in the Rose Bowl and we were screwed out of the game the last time we won the Big Ten. I want to see them play in Pasadena. Sorry Tigers fans but this is going to happen.

Someone already took DRKJEDI on me...

Just a whole bunch of random notes tonight though they all seem to have one main topic linking them.

Note # 1: Saw a license plate today “LV2SCRP” with a license plate holder that read “I’m addicted to scrapbooking”. On the list of things I feel that people should advertise this ranks just below wearing a t-shirt that reads “Valtrex changed my life.” I mean, it’s not like I have a bumper sticker on my car that reads “My other car is a Milennium Falcon.”

Note # 2: However, if anyone wants to get me the Lego motorized AT-AT for Christmas I won’t complain. It even comes with a Lego Luke who can hang from the AT-AT. It’s like the coolest thing ever. I’d ask Santa for it but since that fat bastard still hasn’t brought me my fire truck I won’t even bother asking this year. Where is the criteria for being nice posted anyway? I’m sick of being told at the end of the year “You’re just not nice enough” when I have never been allowed to see how my final evaluation has been tallied. Damn qualitative systems.

Note # 3: Ok, so while driving home from the airport I had to listen to the last disc of my five random discs for the week, which was Natalie Imbruglia. How horrible is it that I still really like the song “Torn”? I mean after hours in an airport and stuck in a plane I was bouncing around listening to this completely artificial song by a totally plastic singer. I pride myself on being a fan of music that no one, and I mean absolutely no one, enjoys and I still find myself smiling at this damn song. I guess this is why I’ll never be a music critic. At the end of the day I have to admit that there is a place for a song like Torn.

Note # 4: Great news in the “Nature Boy” Ric Flair won his match tonight and thus does not have to retire. Not that I have ever seen a wrestler lose a retirement match and actually retire. Mick Foley retired for a grand total of three weeks before returning to the ring. Still, the guy is the best wrestler who ever lived and even though he is at a point where he really should wear a shirt at all times I still want to see him wrestle. Just have this lead up to him retiring on a big stage getting the respect he deserves, that’s all I ask.

Note # 5: Yes, I do seem to have misplaced my shame. I assume it is somewhere in my apartment amongst the trivia books and pop culture encyclopedias. It’s amazing what one will reveal online. I think that I’ve simply reached the point where I just don’t care what other people think of me. I am who I am and I am damn happy with who I’ve become. If people think I’m a geek because I can recite every episode of Monty Python from memory so be it. They’d be right of course but I still don’t care.

Note # 6: I promise, I’ll have the track listing for Battling the Current Volume 3 by the end of the week. I have about half of it in my head right now and should get it all organized relatively soon. Much like my novel, I have a beginning and an ending. It’s the middle that is giving me grief.

Life amongst the masses...

I can’t believe that I went through the entire list of Christmas specials and did not find a single mention of Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas. What type of world are we living in where we do not show every child Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas? Where else will children learn what happens when they punch a hole in the washtub to create a washtub bass, thus ruining their mother’s ability to earn a living? Or knowing that one day their mom is just going to go out and sell your tools just so she could buy a dress? It’s like Gift of the Magi except, you know, with otters.

(O. Henry is rolling over in his grave right now. Not because of the special though. More due to the fact that they named a god awful candy bar after him. Meanwhile the Three Musketeers are celebrating in the next world.)

Well, as most of you either know or could surmise I just came back from my third trip to Chicago in four weeks. Travel wasn’t that bad given that all you ever hear is the “worst travel weekend ever” stories. No real delays and the weather worked with me, which made my life very easy. Heck, I didn’t even mind sitting next to a one year old on one of the flights. I know no one believes me on this but I really like little kids, especially in small increments. I’m great as Uncle Chris and I hope that one day I’ll be able to turn it into more of a full time job. I’m not all cynicism and sarcasm. Ok, pretty much all but there is some niceness in me.

Anyway, I am now very familiar with Southwest’s new seating policy. In an attempt to just confuse the hell out of everybody they’ve changed their procedures after a few years of my gaming the system. Now when you check in you do not receive an assigned seat but you do get a specific place in line. So instead of lining up as a B group you line up as B13 in some game of airline bingo. What this means is that you no longer have people camping out in line for an hour before the plane even reaches the gate. Theoretically this will speed things up and at least make the gate area more organized.

Sadly, this ruins my brilliant plan that has worked wonders for me. See, I never check bags and often can’t check in online early. Hence, I usually check in at the airport. Now in the old days here is what I would do. I’d get one of the last B boarding cards, go to the gate, and sit down at the front of the B line. Slightly less comfortable than one of those plastic seats but not by much and I’d have a chance to read and burn time before my flight came. When it did I was essentially in the A boarding group getting a good seat and being assured of a spot for my bag. Now I’m stuck wondering if they’re going to have to check my bag because people continue to bring on roller bags that are bigger than the steamer trunk my grandfather had when he came to this country. Yes, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about this.

Best of 120 Minutes: I really think that I could listen to The Sundays every day for the rest of my life and never grow bored. Man, Harriet Wheeler had one of the best voices ever. This band never got the attention they deserved and I still miss them.



The five random CDs of the week:
1) The Waco Brothers “To the Last Dead Cowboy:
2) The Tragically Hip “Trouble at the Henhouse”
3) Jon Dee Graham “Escape From Monster Island”
4) Richard Buckner “The Hill”
5) Cowboy Mouth “Are You With Me?”

I want my Alf Christmas Spectacular

As part of my ongoing (and court mandated) community service, here are your holiday viewing highlights. Remember to throw out all your turkey as Thanksgiving is officially over. No leftovers and you should already be shopping.

November 22:
The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (8 AM, CBS): One day when I'm a dad I'm going to have to explain to my kids what huge inflatable balloons of long forgotten cartoon characters has to do with Thanksgiving. Then I'll have to explain why pilgrims wore belt buckles on their hats. At that point I hope that the Kermit balloon will break free so I'll be able to distract them.

Miracle on 34th Street (2 PM, NBC): I'm not sure if this is the black and white version, in which Maureen O'Hara looks beautiful, or the colorized version in whicfh Maureen O'Hara looks as if she is suffering from radiation poisoning after a tanning booth session gone horribly wrong.

November 24:
The Lighting of Macy's Great Tree (6 PM, WGN): Or you could, I don't know, pay real close attention as you turn on a lamp. It's pretty much the same thing.

A Toby Keith Christmas (9 PM, CMT): Yes, it's time for the drunken redneck Christmas with Toby Keith! Gather round the fire as we roast up some Christmas squirrel. Celebrate with some egg nog that we made in the still out back (just make sure those revenuers aren't around to catch you.) Will Santa be able to make it in time in his Ford F-150 pickup? You'll have to watch to find out. And remember, if you aren't watching Toby Keith, you probably are one of them liberal elite.

November 25:
A Christmas Story (7 PM, TNT): This will then be replayed every two hours until New Year's Day. Correction: as this is TNT one showing per day will be replaced with The Shawshank Redemption. It's like in the licensing agreement or something.

November 26:
The Santa Clause (7 PM, Disney): Another future conversation: "Daddy, who is that man playing Santa?" "No one of importance." "He's not funny." "Yes, Daddy knows."

November 27:
A Charlie Brown Christmas (7 PM, ABC): Set your DVRs now. The absolute best special of the entire holiday season. Even better than the California Raisins claymation one. Snoopy's award winning doghouse. The tree that only Charlie Brown could love. That freaky dance that one kid does. Pig Pen playing double bass. I think I remember this special better than I do entire Christmases.

November 28:
Shrek the Halls (7 PM, ABC): Because Mike Myers couldn't release a special called "For the love of God, will you just buy the DVD of Shrek the Third. My kids want a pool."

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (7:30, ABC): I don't care what anyone says, Whoville got what it deserved. They had hunted the Roast Beast nearly to extinction and focused so little on security that one man and a small dog was able to rob the entire town blind. The Grinch simply highlighted the flaws in their lifestyle in an attempt to cause them to focus on addressing the problem as opposed to singing songs while their world collapsed around them. Also, The Grinch didn't have a heart three sizes too small, his body was three sizes too large.

(So I identify with The Grinch. Does that surprise you?)

December 1:
Jingle All the Way (12:30 PM, ABC Family): Personally I like this movie just because you know Arnold Schwarzenegger sat in a pitch meeting and went, "You know what this movie needs? Sinbad." Movie could do with a few more explosions.

The Radio City Christmas Spectacular (7 PM, NBC): At one point in time the Rockettes were risque. Life really was simpler back in the old days.

December 3:
Rudolph's Shiny New Year (6 PM, ABC Family): Wow, ABC Family really doesn't understand the concept of seasons. A New Year's special a month in advance. Still, this is another December highlight due to the Island of Misfit Toys. Or as someone referred to my buddies, "Those aren't friends, those are rejects from the Island of Misfit Toys."

Decembver 4:
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (7 PM, CBS): So apparently we teach our kids that being different and an outcast will one day result in them saving the day. Or to ostracize anyone who in the least way unique. I'm not sure which. Wow, am I cynical tonight or what. Ok, even I cheer for Rudolph at the end of this. And don't get me started on Frosty the Snowman...

December 5:
Twas the Night Before Christmas (6 PM, ABC Family): My favorite holiday special that no one remembers. it involves mice and a mean letter to Santa causing him to contemplate passing over the town. This was always shown on Christmas Eve as a kid, which is probably why I remember it so fondly.

December 7:
The Santa Clause 2 (8 PM, Disney): "Daddy, if people knew Tim Allen wasn't funny why did they let him make the move again?" "Because some people think that if you fail once then the next time will be a success. We call those people idiots."

December 10:
I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown (7 PM, ABC): Wow, there is a second Peanuts Christmas special? I'm someone who has a Snoopy poster on his wall and even I didn't know that. This one features Rerun, Linus' little brother, who is my favorite character of the lats few years of the strip. Mainly because in one episode he asks his kindergarten teacher to read Anna Karennina to the class. I might have to watch this.

December 13:
The Little Drummer Boy (6 PM, ABC Family): I'm only watching this if it contains that freaky Bing Crosby - David Bowie during his Ziggy Stardust phase duet on this song. Even as a nine year old I remember watching that and thinking "Bing doesn't have a clue what is going on, does he?" Plus in the special it is set up as if David was just stopping by Bing's house to drop off a present while if that happened in reality Bing would have unleashed the hounds.

December 14:
It's a Wonderful Life (7 PM, NBC): I've never seen It's a Wonderful Life. That's the God's honest truth. I've never seen this movie. I don't know why or how but I've just never sat down to watch it. Maybe I'm missing the greatest movie ever made. I really don't know. I guess I've just been busy every December for my entire life.

December 19:
Frosty the Snowman (7 PM, CBS): I told you, I don't want to talk about it. No, I don't cry when Frosty goes away at the end. I mean, he'll be back some other day, right? I mean, he said that he would. I'm telling you, it's just dusty in here...

December 23:
Elmo's Christmas Countdown (6 PM, ABC): "Daddy, can we watch the red muppet with the high pitched voice that drives you insane?" "Of course we can. It's Christmas."

Have a great weekend everyone.

Sports Night everynight...

Wednesday Night Music Club: I know that when I think of Thanksgiving, I think of covers of old Dolly Parton songs. Ok, maybe not quite that but it is really tough to make a segue into this one. I'm not even sure why this came to mind other than I think I was talking about Mindy Smith to someone a few weeks ago and I figured that she was someone I should promote in this space. If anything, she has a new Christmas album out that is supposed to be really good so if you like this song and want to get in the holiday spirit, there's the first item on your shopping list. After, of course, stopping by Kohl's at four in the morning.

Seriously, Kohl's is having a 4 AM sale on Friday. To anyone who is shopping for me, I am nowhere near important enough to shop for at four in the morning. Unless you are actually coming back from a bar there is no legitimate reason to be awake at four in the morning.

Ok, in lieu of actual topics tonight I'm going to respond to some of the comments on the last few posts...

On the play of Jimmy Claussen, I have seen a few comparisons of Claussen's numbers to Quinn's and yes, numerically speaking they look the same. But, and it really pains me to imply that this could ever be the case, numbers aren't the whole story. While Brady Quinn was not a good quarterback as a freshman at least I was confident that he was, in fact, a quarterback. There was promise there and while he was getting his ass kicked you at least saw a glimmer of hope.

I don't see that with Claussen even though I was one of his biggest backers coming into the season. The guy has a great arm (better than his brothers) and was raised to be a quarterback. The thing is he just doesn't seem to be smart back there. While at the game Saturday there were plays where I knew precisely who he was throwing to because as soon as the ball was snapped that is all he looked at and was oblivious to other receivers or defensive lineman. When the guy who never played football in his life can read your eyes something is horribly wrong.

And the other thing that really bothers me is that while he is officially a true freshman the dude is 20 years old. His birthday is a few weeks after mine. Do you know what I was doing when I was 20? I was a junior in electrical engineering at Illinois, not taking intro to everything classes at Notre Dame. That just really bothers me. Physically you are pretty much what you are going to be at 20 and sure, he can get smarter at football but it's a lot different than if he was an 18 year old freshman. Maybe it's just me but that really bugs me in terms of his development.

I did decide not to live blog the Duke-Illinois game last night mainly because I didn't feel like subjecting everyone to a post consisting of "Brian Randle just fouled someone", "For crying out loud, can we hit a freaking jumper" and "It's nice to know that I have more athletic ability than Jordan's kid." I'll start on the Illinois side. The team looked better than I had imagined but even that wasn't very good. They are fifteen deep except that there really isn't any difference between the best guy and the fifteenth guy. That's not a good thing. They showed promise and played good defense most of the night but there isn't a superstar on that team. I'm hoping that they find a flow and sneak into the tournament but that might not happen. Heck, it's never a good sign when the coach's dog needs knee surgery.

As for Duke they definitely look like a better team than last year. That's not saying much as last year's squad was not the worst Duke team I ever saw but definitely the most painful to watch. They just played ugly basketball with none of the style that made me follow the team in the first place. It was hacking defense and slow, ponderous offense. This year's squad shows more promise and athleticism with additions of some freshmen who appear to be both talented and already hated. Cheering for Duke is kind of like cheering for Microsoft in that regard. Greg Paulus still plays point guard like he is running a wishbone offense and he really makes me miss the days of Bobby Hurley running the offense while simultaneously smoking a cigarette.

Speaking of wishbones, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Blasts from the past

Is it ok to be incredibly thrilled over a Geico commercial? It’s just that I saw one featuring that dude from the Police Academy movies who made all the funny sound effects. The ad itself actually introduced him as “that dude from the Police Academy movies who made all the funny sound effects.” This guy’s entire career, including being name The Onion’s Man of the Year, can be summed up by simply stating “he’s the dude from the Police Academy movies who made all the funny sound effects.” That my friends is the definition of fame.

So I have to say that last night’s episode of How I Met Your Mother was probably the best of the season. The writing hasn’t been as spot on this year as it has been in past seasons, mainly because I’m not sure what the focus is this season. Season One was Ted pursuing Robin. Season Two was Lily and Marshall getting married. This year has Ted scoring skanky chicks while Marshall sells out. It really hasn’t found its rhythm yet.

But this episode did finally deal with the fact of how in the world are Ted and Robin acting as friends after breaking up. This is one of those sitcom events that HIMYM is centered enough to try to address because in real life once you break up with someone you never see them again. Especially after a year long relationship. The awkwardness and the fact that you never truly stop feeling something for the other person (at least in my experience) makes a transference to friends status extremely difficult. Not saying that it’s impossible, not saying that I haven’t done it myself, but it is not an easy state of affairs.

Oh, and Barney got slapped again. You have to like any show where a major ongoing plot line is one character slapping another. That definitely would have made Everybody Loves Raymond more interesting. Well, that and actual humor.

I’m kind of low on topics tonight so I’ll just talk about an upcoming concert that I’m probably going to attend. It’s certainly not one that I ever expected to occur a few blocks from my apartment. Well, at least not since I graduated from college. See, The Lemonheads are going to play Record Bar in a few months. Or at least Evan Dando plus a couple of guys that he is calling The Lemonheads are going to play Record Bar. To be honest, I don’t even think that Evan could name the other guys in the band.

Even though I was never a big fan I’ll go just because they were the type of band that I really wanted to see when I was in college. That’s what makes the show so weird and I’ve seen more than a few of these. You take a band that was if not on top of the world could at least see the top and revisit them a decade later and see what has happened. I’m not sure what it is like for the band to now find themselves playing for a hundred people in Kansas City. I know on some level they view it as their job and in some cases they are still playing the songs they love. Just look at the Camper Van Beethoven clip I posted this week, they’re still having fun (usually as Cracker) but playing to smaller crowds. In other instances it’s kind of sad as even the band realizes that they have reached an age where they know of nothing else to do with their lives.

True, I’m at that same point in mine. It’s just as scary for me, I just don’t have to do it in front of an audience.

A win for the ages...

(I know that for most of the people who read this blog the following information is neither useful nor sensible but Chris Jericho is back! The Lionheart has returned and now I have something to live for on Monday nights. Why yes, my life is rather sad and pathetic. Why do you ask?

Seriously though, he’s pretty much the only guy in wrestling that I like who isn’t either retired or, uh, dead. Man has it been a depressing year in that regard.)

Ok, back last spring when I filled out my ND ticket lottery forms I was hopeful that I was going to get a good game. Maybe USC or Boston College if I was lucky or a nice September game with great weather. Instead I got tickets to the Duke game in the middle of November. I usually don’t even apply for those games but it is Duke and what can I say, my Duke fandom runs pretty deep. But when I won the lottery I sure didn’t expect to experience what I experienced on Saturday.

I went to the game with my brother and drove in from Chicago on gameday. Got there a few hours before kickoff and noticed something before we even got off the toll road: there was no traffic. Seriously, we made better time than I did on most of my trips to school. Pulling into the White Field lot and walking through the parking lot gave you a weird vibe that just got worse the closer you got to the stadium. The entire campus seemed entirely dead. Not much of a crowd and certainly no sense of enjoyment.

This is tough to explain if you have never experienced an ND game before. It didn’t make sense to me coming from Illinois. As Illini we didn’t really tailgate. We just kind of showed up at the game and hoped beyond hope that we wouldn’t suck as badly as we did the week before and could somehow find a way to make the Liberty Bowl. It wasn’t an event, hell I went on a date that consisted of going shopping at the mall instead of attending a game one week. But at ND the entire point of the fall is going to football games and even when the weather is bad for the last home game you celebrate knowing that this is going to be your last chance.

But that just did not seem to be the case. This season had just sucked the life out of everyone. You just didn’t hear people playing the fight song or laughing about or even being there at all. The lots were pretty empty and sure, the weather had something to do with it but that wasn’t it. I even stopped by the Backer in the hopes of seeing Donna and Joey (sorry I missed you guys) and even it didn’t feel right. Hell, even the guy who took my ticket and said “Welcome to Notre Dame” didn’t seem to mean it.

The game itself was nothing to write home about. It was two bad teams playing in rainy, cold weather. ND had the much better squad and won out eventually. After seeing him in person I am really not sold on Jimmy Claussen. I’ve never seen a quarterback outside of high school just lock on to his primary receiver and never even think about the other guys. They might as well not even be running their routes. The running game came together but they still don’t have a breakaway runner. Basically this entire season could be described by the dumb penalties in the first quarter. First down at the four brought back due to an unsportsmanlike conduct. Punt downed inside the ten cancelled out by a late hit. Just the sort of stupid errors that an ND team are not supposed to make.

(Other notes that I don’t think I can fit in elsewhere. There were pretty visible empty seats in the student section. Looks like where the sophomore and grad students sections met but I wasn’t sure. Also, I happened to have the most cynical season ticket holder fans behind me who spent the entire game ripping on the team and then leaving in the third quarter. That was actually embarrassing. I’ll make fun of Claussen but I do cheer the guy on. And as always, the band and the leprechaun were cool.)

But here is the thing, going to see a game at Notre Dame, even in these conditions, is still one of the coolest things in the world. There’s the fact that while walking around campus in the morning we stumbled across a rugby game and were able to watch that for a while. Or the fact that I was once again able to hang out at PODs tailgate (not affiliated with Legends as the sign so eloquently stated). It’s still one of the best stadiums I’ve ever been in and even though I was in the end zone I still felt like I was right on top of the field. It really is what college football is supposed to be about. I know a lot of people view statements like that as par for the course for obnoxious Notre Dame fans but I really think it is true. It isn’t fancy, it isn’t corporate, it is just about the game and the students and the community.

I just hope that next year the team has improved. I’m not sure if I could take another season like this one.

I went as Rudolph for Halloween

Best of 120 Minutes: This is one of my favorite songs that I a) don’t own a copy of and b) never even really heard that much. For some reason using a violin to duplicate Status Quo’s feedback driven guitars in the original version just has me bouncing up and down. Maybe not the best version of the song ever but hey, I can only post what I can find.

Got a few more random rants to unleash tonight. Here they go…

I saw my first house with lit Christmas decorations last Thursday. Is it a Thanksgiving tradition to egg houses? If not, can we make it one? Seriously, what the hell? It’s November 15th do you really need to have your Christmas decorations up and lit? I can understand the putting them up while the weather is nice but would you go ahead and light them? It’s a week away from Thanksgiving so you’re jumping an entire season. Just bizarre.

A friend of mine had a similar rant on her blog on this topic focused more on stores already pushing all of the Christmas stuff. I can at least accept that a little, corporations don’t have souls and only answer to the brutal hand of market economics. If it makes Halls money to have their Christmas tree up in September well damnit, that’s what they’ll do. Even if it is the dumbest thing in the history of the planet. But your own house? Wouldn’t you at least have enough sense to wait until you at least cooked Thanksgiving dinner?

Seriously, Americans have a really big problem with embracing the moment. We are either focused on making the future perfect or reminiscing about a past that never technically existed. We celebrate holidays before they occur for no reasons that relate to the holiday. VH-1 creates instant nostalgia for past decades without ever focusing on all of the crap that took place then. Apparently the early 80’s consisted solely of bad Hall and Oates videos, which isn’t how I remembered it. No one lives in the moment anymore. We don’t live with a sense of wow, just with a worry that tomorrow isn’t going to live up to what yesterday should have been.

Switching topics: Wow, I just looked at Christian Slater’s filmography in an attempt to determine his third best film after Heathers and Gleaming the Cube (assuming we toss out Pump Up the Volume). I didn’t realize that his career tanked so quickly. I’m forced to pimp “Untamed Heart” as his third best film and I consider that to be one of the worst films ever made. A character convinced that he is unable to love due to the fact that he has a baboon’s heart? Slater and Tomei making out at a hockey game and not getting beer thrown at them? I think at one point I declared it to be a horror film.

On the plus side, we do have another Winona Ryder sighting. She is going to be playing Spock’s mom in the new Star Trek film. This is of vital importance to, uh, guys who are even geekier than I am. I mean, even Star Wars geeks look down at Trekkies. Ooh, watch out, they have phasers. What a bunch of nerds. But, Winona’s getting work so that is a good thing.

ND football stories tomorrow as I am still recovering from sitting out in the rain for hours. Apparently all they needed to win was to have me in the stands. I apologize for my lack of effort in this season’s end result.

The five random CDs for the week.
1) Cowboy Mouth “Word of Mouth”
2) Lyle Lovett “Live in Texas”
3) Caitlin Cary “Waltzie”
4) Joe Henry “Fuse”
5) Natalie Imbrigulia “Left of the Middle” (hangs head in shame. I must have been really drunk that night.)

This post made of 80% recycled jokes...

(Yes, it’s a late night. Again. Long story.)

I’m just going to finish the week off with some random notes…

Random Note # 1: So, when I got to work this morning I had a bag on my desk in honor of National Recycling Day. I’m just wondering if I threw out a bag made of recycled bottles given to me in an attempt to reduce my plastic consumption would I get an express ticket to hell? Because I really hate lines and I feel that might just be the way for me to get one of those EZ Passes.

Random Note # 2: If you’ve read this site for long enough you’ll realize that I always talk about music positively. It’s always a reference to bands you need to check out or a great show you missed. Well, here is something different. If you ever see the name Tom Broussard on a bill for the love of God skip the show. Of all the opening acts that I have seen the guy was the absolute worst. Ok, that’s not entirely true, I have seen worse but they were always local acts. This guy was from North Dakota.

It’s really difficult to explain how bad he was other than I very nearly threw a full can of Miller Lite at his head. It was just him on stage with his guitar and he is a folky doing Nick Drake type songs. The problem is even Nick Drake had a problem playing Nick Drake songs and this guy was just awful. There was just no life to his guitar playing or his singing or his lyrics or anything. It’s not that I haven’t seen a guy take the stage with just a guitar and wow the audience before. Paul Burch became one of my favorites for just that. This guy needs to sit down with Paul Burch CDs and learn this is how you play music. Incredibly, the crowd there to see Nickel Creek was really supportive and have him a great ovation. Either my taste in music is off or people are suddenly becoming a lot dumber. One of the two.

Random Note # 3: I do have a better concert story, or at least a more positive one. I saw the Chiara String Quartet at the Brick over the weekend. Now for those of you who don’t know, the Brick is best described as a dive bar and even that might be a bit generous. They have a stage that is highlighted by the side panel of a stock car. In this environment place a Juliard trained string quartet that is about to become artists in residence at Harvard. It’s completely incongruous and that’s why I love it.

I have next to no knowledge of classical music outside of knowing the names of composers. The music majors in my life hate me for this because for all of my music snobbery I really have no background in it. But I know what I like and this was just awesome. I’m always amazed at how musical pieces can have meanings and images even without words. Certain notes are happy and certain notes are sad even though there is no reason for that to be. To say that a chord is melancholy is no different than saying that the number seven always reminds me of purple. But it is true, music in its purest form always has meanings. And sometimes hearing a classical piece outside of an orchestra hall, where the sheer bizarreness of the situation causes you to ignore all of the distractions, is what you need to understand that notes really can me something.

Random Note # 4: Just a final comment as the arrogant bastard phrase has been tossed in my direction once again. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Just because I’m better than everyone else doesn’t make me arrogant.

Have a great weekend.

Paradox Solved?

Man, I love the internet…

The Results Are In!!!

Yes, thanks to the mighty power of the internet we now have a conclusive answer to The Dinner Paradox. For those of you who aren’t too familiar with The Dinner Paradox I along with several of my colleagues navigating the dating scene are constantly trying to figure out the proper first date protocol. Now, I consider myself to be a cultured and forward thinking somewhat young man. Thus, I have no problem with splitting the check. I also have no problem with paying for dinner either. However, by paying for dinner I might give the impression that I am creating a quid pro quo or even indicating to the woman that I feel the need to pay her for her time. On the other hand, by splitting the check I might look like a cheapskate. Hence, the paradox. Pay for dinner and she’ll think I’m a chauvinist pig. Split the check and she’ll be expecting me to steal ketchup packets on my way out of the restaurant.

This is not a minor issue. It’s probably the tensest part of the night. I’ve had huge arguments over what it indicated when I paid for dinner one night at Between the Buns. Like the fact that I considered a place named “Between the Buns” a perfectly fine location for an evening out wasn’t enough of a red flag to begin with. Anyway, this is one of those questions where I really needed to know the answer.

Thanks to the good folks at ask500people.com I was able to survey 100 people around the world on the following question: “On a first date, who should pay for dinner?” with the four options being a) the guy, b) the girl, c) split evenly and d) whoever asked the other one out. Follow the link to see a graphical version of this (as well as the opinion in Bolivia) but the quick results:

The Guy: 48
Whoever Asked the Other Out: 39
Split Evenly: 9
The Girl: 4

First off, I have to give props to the Dublin resident who voted for the Girl to pay for dinner. Because isn’t my company worth an additional payment? You’re getting to be seen in public with a guy like me, I should be getting my drinks for free at a minimum. (Yeah, that often repeated claim of “EC is a selfish bastard” is probably making the rounds again.)

But I have to say that I am rather amazed by this. I really thought that Split Evenly would have a much better showing. I really had thought that it had become the norm and that the whole “I’ll pay for everything” was considered passé. Whoever Asked the Other Out is probably a nicer compromise as that is typically the guy though I don’t think I would ever in a million years let someone pay for my check on the first date. That’s not chauvinism, it just feels like the most awkward thing in the world. The real answer is “The Guy pays, unless she asks you out in which case you split the check.” Please file that information for future reference.

Oh, and the reason why 100 people were surveyed from a site named “Ask 500 people” is due to the site still being in beta. It’s not a strong scientific sample and I’m not happy with the margin of error or the participation bias but it is still a good indicator. As to the two comments people had on my question my replies are: A) Yes, I did not account for same sex dating. While that is a valid point it a) not relevant to my study and b) really difficult to account for when you’re only given 100 characters for your question. Hopefully further study will be performed in that instance. B) “It depends” is never a valid answer.



Wednesday Night Music Club: Cowboy Junkies. They’ve been showing up in the random CD list for a few weeks now. Thought that I’d share a song while I was thinking about it.

They turned all the great themes into theme parks

I find it very comforting to know that I can reference a somewhat obscure Christian Slater movie from 1990 and immediately have people replying with phrases from the film. It shows that I know my audience as we are all a bunch of non-conformist slackers who are essentially too lazy to conform.

I actually own Pump Up the Volume on DVD as I saw it for like five bucks at Best Buy one day. I watched the film incessantly as a teenager and watching it now my thought is mainly, “Wow, it really is just a Jack Nicholson impersonation.” That and I’m still trying to figure out why there are only six teachers in the entire school. Also, it was nice to know that at one point the government felt that the biggest threat to our country’s safety was pirate radio stations.

What does it say about Generation X that the actors and actresses of our youth have essentially disappeared? Well, that’s not entirely true. Johnny Depp has gone from being on 21 Jump Street to being a pirate, I guess that is a step in the right direction. But Christian Slater has been lost to the mists of time. Winona Ryder is struggling to find work and Molly Ringwald hasn’t had a meaningful gig since The Stand in 1995. That’s the strange thing about our generation, we were so small we will disappear from modern culture in a blink of an eye.

That disappearance is going to happen really soon as well. I often claim that I am at the heart of Gen X. Born in 1973 I was 18 when Smells Like Teen Spirit was released. I am as Gen X as they come and next year I will be 35 and no longer important to any marketer. As part of my job I was looking at trends for 18-34 year olds and I realized that in ten months this will no longer apply to me or anyone I went to school with. Imagine that, popular culture will no longer have to address the slacker culture. It’s a sad state of affairs.

I’m still not sure what our mark on the overall culture will end up being. We certainly created a great deal of good music as well as paved the wave for the mainstreaming of hip hop. Indie films took off, especially the introspective life studies that everyone with a Super 8 camera and a lot of free time discovered that they could make. There are some good writers but I don’t think that our cultural impact is going to be measured by what culture we left behind. I think it is going to be our attitude towards the world. We saw a world that was ruined before we got there and went, “Well, what’s the point?” I’m still asking that question today. People are now running around talking about climate change and I wrote papers about that twenty years ago. No one listened to me then and it’s too late to fix it now. Maybe that will be the epitaph for Generation X “We knew what was wrong, they just wouldn’t listen.” That or “Dude, have you seen my flannel?”

Completely changing subjects: I found out about the website www.ask500people.com where you can pose questions to the internet at large. I’ve of course signed up and posted the “Who should pay for dinner” question because I want the entire world to weigh in on this one. If you want you can hit the site, click through and vote for my question to be asked. Look, we all want to know the answer to this one so help me out.

Cursing the dying of the light

I know that it is mid-November and the same thing happens every year but doesn’t it freak you out when you’re driving home at 5:30 and it is just pitch black out? Like things just got seriously dark in a hurry. It always seemed to be worse in South Bend. There late November seemed to be ominous, like nature was giving you a warning that dark times were ahead. Given that it is a part of the country where the sun seems to disappear for two months it was a rather fair warning.

Yeah, I probably shouldn’t even admit that I spent any time in South Bend right now. When I went out on Saturday night waiting for me at the door of my regular bar was a buddy of mine who happened to be a Navy grad and he even said he had been waiting a week just to give me crap about the game. The fact that Air Force had just won and we were named an eight point underdog against the Coast Guard didn’t improve things either. It is stunning to see a program perform this badly. My only hope is that we are doing this in order to get a good draft pick for next season. It might be are only shot at turning things around.

I’d do my usual review of How I Met Your Mother here but it is still sitting on my DVR. I’m beginning to build up a backlog of material on the DVR as I anticipate that the writer’s strike is going to make television even more of a barren wasteland than it currently is. Not that I do not support my Writer’s Guild brethren (I personally am picketing all filming in Kansas City, which admittedly doesn’t keep me busy) but this is going to be a long strike. Like maybe through next summer when the Screen Actors Guild, overpaid hacks that they are, go on strike. I’ve been pushing for the Writer’s Guild to put “only robots will be allowed to perform our pieces” but they rightfully keep me nowhere near the negotiation table.

But man, does this mean that television is going to start sucking quickly. I think Family Guy is already done with new episodes and HIMYM and Big Bang Theory will be over in a few weeks. That’s pretty much all of my must see TV right there. Everything else will go to reruns in a month or so with a few midseason replacements in position to provide a modicum of new content. Otherwise it is going to be reality television all the time.

On the surface you would think that that would be a godsend for me. I mean, I do seem to live on reality shows and I already have Danny pulling strings to get me on A Shot Of Love with Tila Tequila Part 2 (which is already being cast). The thing is I’m actually watching less of it. I still haven’t watched The Amazing Race this year and it is consistently one of my favorite shows. I’ve given up on Survivor, don’t know why but the show just doesn’t matter to me anymore. And Project Runway just isn’t that great of a replacement for Top Chef in my mind. That’s probably a good thing.

So in the end what will this mean? Maybe I’ll actually have time to read once again. I have gotten horrible at finishing books and it has started to annoy me. I definitely don’t read as much as I used to when I took the train to work but I’m not even reading half as many books a year as I should. When all of your reading takes place on planes things are not moving in the right direction. And then there is that pesky novel of mine that I now have ten months to write. Eek. The good news is that I already have the book jacket blurbs in. Who wouldn’t buy a book after seeing a back cover proclaiming “the font is really pretty”, “that’s some quality binding” and “in a survival situation you could probably burn it”.

What a weekend...

See, do I lie? When I promise something legendary I freaking deliver. For the first time in this history of the school, Illinois went on the road and beat the number one team in the nation. On Senior Day no less. We couldn’t pull this off when we had Red Grange and Dick Butkus (well, not at the same time). It’s great to be able to talk about Illini Football without having the main focus being “are you getting rid of the guy dancing at halftime or not?”

It’s tough to explain what this win means if you haven’t followed the team through the years. This win gives Illinois as many wins this season as they have had in the past four years combined. We’re still not a top team but we have returned to being a respectable team. I now just hope that we can remain a consistent Top 25 team. There really is no reason why that can’t be the case. Still, running all over an Ohio State defense anchored by the son of Road Warrior Animal was quite a sight to see. I tried to start a riot in KC but no one could figure out why I was wearing orange since hunting season ended last week.

Anyway, on to the really big news…

Battling the Current is three years old! Yes, it was on November 10, 2004 that I made my first post where I promised to try to recreate the experience of sitting next to me at the bar on a Wednesday night. I’m pretty sure that I have succeeded on that front as I have been able to continue to rant and rave and philosophize in this space for three years. My goal has always been for this space to be 25% pop culture analysis, 25% music reviews, 25% philosophy and 25% making fun of Kansas and while I haven’t kept the percentages I still hit all of those categories on a regular basis. (I’m not sure what percentage is now related to My Beloved Lindsay).

Here are some stats over the past three years. I have written a total of 772 posts and I’m north of 500,000 words. That’s the equivalent of about seven or eight novels. I can’t believe that I’ve written that much. For three years I’ve sat down for five nights a week and have written just whatever happened to be on my mind and that turns into half a million words. My word document for this year is nearly three hundred pages long. When I think about writing a novel at least I know that I can sit down at a computer and write that much material.

I’ve also had more than 400 comments posted over the years and I thank everyone who has ever added their thoughts to the blog. It really is one of the reasons that I write this, to see what responses I can get from those who check this out on a regular basis. Even bigger thanks to those who have posted without ever having met me. I still can’t believe that I’ve had comments from other countries. As always, never be afraid to click on the comment link. If you can prove to me that you are not a robot intent on either a) taking over the world or b) placing Viagra ads on my page your opinion is always welcome.

So what are my goals for the next year? I’d like to keep up with the multimedia component and maybe grow it out a bit more. Music videos are awesome but at some point I should try to provide my own content there. I’d like to increase the readership a little more, which is something I have been saying that I would try for years but haven’t really attempted. And while my quality of writing has improved over the past few months (I feel that the Pick Up Artist reviews were some of the best things that I’ve written in ages) I also want to up the level of my writing. This might mean a little more philosophy and a lot more humor. Probably the same bad grammar though as I still do not have an editor. (For those who wonder, I almost never proofread what I write. I just want to get my thoughts out there no matter what the grammar police might say.) And I’ll be keeping this place ad free since, seriously, do you even want to think what contextual ads Google might try to put in this space?

As this is cause for celebration I am happy to announce that I am putting together Battling the Current Volume 3. For those new to the Battling the Current series, this is a compilation CD featuring all of the music that I love and you may have never heard of. I’ll be posting the track listing and cover art later this week but it should be great. Just drop me an email and I’ll make sure you get a copy (and feel free to request copies of volumes 1 and 2 as well). More on all of this later.

Again, thanks to everyone who has read this. I really do look forward to sitting down and writing every night. It doesn’t feel like work or an obligation and I think it is a great way for me to step outside of my stressful life and just be with my thoughts for a moment. Someone asked me how long I was going to keep this up and I answered four years or whenever I ran out of material. Right now I see myself going a lot longer than four years. Quo Vadimus.

Best of 120 Minutes: If I ever start podcasting, this will be the theme song. If Hard Harry could use Everybody Knows I can use 21st Century Digital Boy



The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Handsome Family “Through the Trees”
2) Cowboy Junkies “At the End of Paths Taken”
3) Damien Rice “9”
4) Monte Warden “A Stranger To Me Now”
5) Saw Doctors “Songs from Sun Street”

Music through the ages

I’ve been playing around with the idea that we are seeing a turn around in what has been an abysmal music scene as of late. I’m talking about the mainstream here, I’ve been thinking that there has been a reinvigoration of talent in mainstream music. I figured a good benchmark would be examining the musical guests on Saturday Night Live. It’s not a perfect measure but it’s a good indication of what is popular at any point in time.

Let’s start with the 1992-1993 season, when I was a 19 year old sophomore in college. I consider this to be the high point of music, partially because I was 19 and that is just naturally when music is coolest. Here are the acts from that season.

Bobby Brown / Sinead O’Connor / Spin Doctors / Arrested Development / 10,000 Maniacs / Morrissey / Sade / Neil Young / Black Crowes / Bon Jovi / Madonna / Mick Jagger / Paul McCartney / Sting / Mary J. Blige / Soul Asylum / Peter Gabriel / Lenny Kravitz / Midnight Oil / Willie Nelson / Paul Simon

Wow, I’m not sure if you could fault any of those selections. The worst band on the list is Spin Doctors who admittedly had three great songs. Sadly that is all they had in them. Bobby Brown has turned into a joke but he did have talent at one point in his life. There’s a couple of older acts but I’d say this is pretty cool. Mainstream hadn’t accepted grunge quite yet but could come to terms with Soul Asylum and Black Crowes. Not bad at all.

Let’s fast forward seven years to 1999-2000, what I consider to be the nadir of modern music. At 26 it was pretty much the nadir of my life as well. Here’s the list

David Bowie / Marc Anthony / Dr. Dre / Snoop Dogg / Eminem / Foo Fighters / Garth Brooks (as Chris Gaines) / Sting / Beck / R.E.M. / Blink-182 / Macy Gray / Jennifer Lopez / DMX / Fiona Apple / *NSYNC / AC/DC / Christina Aguilera / Sisqo / Neil Young / Britney Spears / Kid Rock

First off, should we give Sting and Neil Young props for being on the show seven years later? Especially since they were older acts as well, though this is probably due to Lorne Michaels just booking people he knew. But this is a pretty sad list. There are positives in Foo Fighters and Beck along with Dre, Snoop and Eminem. R.E.M. had gotten pretty awful by this point but still had name recognition.

But boy, are there some bad acts on this list. Starting with Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines, which might be the craziest musical decision ever. I’ve been saying all week that the only way I’m seeing Garth is if he plays part of the set as Chris Gaines. Then Blink-182 (pretty much a waste of space), *NSYNC (a definite waste of space), Christina Aguilera (disgusting to all five senses) and Sisqo (did he even have a second song?) Seven years later and I have no interest in hearing any of these acts again, even in a quasi ironic sense. There’s definitely no musical reason to listen to them. And then there’s Britney and we’ve discussed her enough. All in all, not a good time for music.

Is there any hope? Well, let’s see who played last year

The Killers / Corinne Bailey Rae / My Chemical Romance / Beck / Christina Aguilera / Ludacris / Tenacious D / Gwen Stefani / Akon / Justin Timberlake / The Shins / AFI / Lily Allen / Keith Urban / Arcade Fire / Snow Patrol / Carrie Underwood / Avril Lavigne / Bjork / Linkin Park / Maroon 5

It’s another mixed bag. The effect of American Idol is definitely felt as we have a lot less bands and a lot more people who happen to sing (the Justins and Christinas and Carries of the world). There’s also a surprising lack of hip hop and R&B, which might be a sign of the market that SNL attracts. Some acts offend me as a music fan (Linkin Park) and others as a human being (Avril Lavigne). And for some reason there is a lot of emo as apparently the viewers of SNL like to cut themselves.

But here is why I think things might be turning around. The Shins and Arcade Fire were both able to play on Saturday Night Live. That wasn’t possible seven years ago. Neither band is on a major label and they have no video play to speak of. The Shins became known thanks in part to Garden State and Arcade Fire became popular through their own awesomeness. To gain this degree of mainstream exposure is pretty amazing.

Do I think that music will return to what it was in the early 90’s? Of course not. For one thing, I’m not 19 any more. At 34 I’m at the very edge of the demographic and in ten short months marketers will no longer give a damn about me. I expect certain aspects of music today to be outside of my tastes simply because it isn’t written for me. But I find it good to know that the idea of a band and of musicianship is being resurrected. That’s the fear of an American Idol ruled world. It’s a focus entirely on the singer and not the song. But Arcade Fire creates art as opposed to commerce. The fact that they can get General Electric to put them in front of millions of people is a sign that things are going in the right direction.

(Coming Sunday: An anniversary three years in the making! Yes, there will be gifts! And balloons! And dancing girls! And those miniature hot dogs! It will be legen, wait for it…)

A waltz for a night...

Wednesday Night Music Club: I’m not making the following story up.

Last night I dreamt that I was dating Julie Delpy. Well, not actually dating. There was this big connection between us but she wasn’t sure about the whole relationship thing and needed time to take a walk and think things over. (Even in my dreams I have a hard time getting the girl.) As she was getting dressed to leave my hotel room in London I complimented her on her cool outfit and her bracelet that was made out of dice from a game of Dungeons and Dragons. Yep, the literal girl of my dreams would wear jewelry consisting of 12 sided dies.

Sometimes my level of geekitude astounds even me.

I mention Julie a lot in this blog (and post her picture and review her movies and whatever else I can think of). I’m not even sure any more how I became a fan. It literally may have been a review of Killing Zoe for all I know. But she just represents everything that I’m looking for in a woman. Beauty, intelligence, quirkiness, it’s all there. Oh, and she plays guitar and sings as this clip from Before Sunset shows. She’s number one on my Perfect Mate list and if she knocked on my door and went “EC, want to get married?” I’d say yes in a second. And then probably faint.

(Plus it’s my blog and for a three year anniversary present I owe myself a purely indulgent Julie Delpy video.)

Changing subjects, after tabulating the votes from both the comments and trivia night the final tally is “EC is a moron” five and “Let’s hear it for gender equality” zero. Wow, this might explain a lot of my problems. Now my point of view has always been if when the check hits the table if she immediately reaches for her purse just don’t argue. That’s a result of my belief that confrontation should be avoided if at all possible. If there’s a delay, feel free to volunteer to pick up the check but otherwise I thought we had moved on to splitting it on the first date. Apparently, this might be the first part of the root cause analysis of my social life.

(This does disagree with what Mystery taught me, though. Mystery clearly states that you must demonstrate higher value and by immediately buying drinks or dinner you are showing that you believe that you have to pay her for her time whereas your personality and company should be payment enough. At a bar his idea was have her pay for the first round and you’ll pay for the second. I’m not saying that’s right, I’m just saying that it works for Matador and J-Dog.)

There was one comment though that I really want to touch on. It’s the idea that if you buy the girl dinner she then feels a further obligation to you. I find that to be false in my experience as I have bought dinner only to have the girl never return my calls or in fact, acknowledge my very existence. If there was some agreement to meet again, even if it was stated during the dinner itself, it appears to be non-binding and can be broken with no requirement to inform the other party. I have no problem with buying dinner, in fact I’d probably prefer it. I have no issues with someone saying, “Look, this just isn’t going to work. It’s been fun but it’s not going to happen.” That’s life and not everyone is perfect for each other. I just hate the “I’ll just ignore you and at some point you’ll get the hint” aspect of it. And buying dinner doesn’t mean I’m owed another date. I would just hope to be owed acknowledgement.

Closing Random Note: While driving home today I passed a subdivision entrance with a sign “Hemlock Drive”. I figure that when I build a subdivision I am going to follow that theme and have “Cyanide Lane” and “Anthrax Boulevard”. Ah Kansas, where people read Shakespeare but don’t bother to have a dictionary nearby.

Just like in the trailer park...

I have seen my future and it includes my own Last Starfighter video game. My life will not be complete until I have this sitting in my living room. All of this time I’ve been focused on finding the girl of my dreams when I could have been searching for this instead. Talk about wasted effort (and at least this would only cost a quarter to play). This just has to be the coolest thing that I’ve seen since the Lego Millennium Falcon.

Ok, I haven’t done a random note night for a while and this feels like one. Here we go…

Random Note # 1: I saw the following license plate this week and I think we need a collective coolness ruling here. The culprit is “SCUBYDO”. Now, obviously this is a reference to Scooby Doo and I guess in a retro hipness sense that is cool. I hope they aren’t referencing the movies unless they happen to be really, really big fans of Sarah Michelle Gellar and couldn’t get a Buffy license plate. But is Scuby a really good replacement for Scooby? Would you want to tell the world that your car is Scuby?

Random Note # 2: While we’re on the subject of rulings here is a question that was raised to me recently and I don’t know the proper answer any more. First time out for dinner, should the guy pay or should you split the tab. I’d really like to hear some opinions on this one. I know where I stand but I want to hear from the crowd as my luck with either method tends to be a little spotty.

Random Note # 3: Fair warning to everyone, I may be in a foul mood this month as they have decided to close my parking garage at work for repairs for the entire month. Now I could look at this as a positive: I will no longer worry about my car plummeting four stories due to shoddy construction. However, since the garages were all filled to capacity to begin with and I, uh, am not an early riser I now find myself parking on the opposite side of campus. The amount of exercise I get on a daily basis has doubled, though. Still, as some people said, why couldn’t we have done this in the summer when I wouldn’t have minded the walk?

Random Note # 4: I’ve picked up a couple of interesting catalogs in the mail recently. I received one from Jack Stack barbecue today and while this shows that I’m not from here, I’m not really a big fan of barbecue. To the point that I really don’t understand why everyone makes a big deal about it around here. So you’re slow cooking meat and putting sauce on it, it’s not like a good hot dog or deep dish pizza. The other one was my Duke University catalog, which I receive due to my wardrobe and the fact that I’ve applied and been rejected by every college at the school Flipping through I noticed something very odd. There sure were a lot of Duke Lacrosse shirts for sale. Way more than I’ve ever seen before. True, they were found innocent but it is a bit of a jarring sight.

Random Note # 5: Thanks to my sleep deprived state I’ve been having very weird dreams. Here’s the latest and it’s a new variation on a theme. As usual, it was finals week at school and I’m not prepared. Except now I’ve already graduated and I’m just hanging around school taking pass/fail classes and pretty much avoiding the real world. It’s tough to be stressed out about a pass/fail course that you’re not entirely sure you paid tuition for. Still, I always end these dreams by having to remind myself that I have several diplomas on my wall and odds are I did earn those so I really shouldn’t freak out about it. I’m not sure why but these dreams always involve college and not grad school. Maybe that’s the degree I fear they’ll reclaim first.

We Have Arrived

As is often the case, I found myself spending four hours standing in front of a stage last night. Given that it was in Lawrence this meant that I also happened to be the oldest person standing in front of the stage by a good ten years. But that is a small price to pay in order to see a triple bill consisting of Immaculate Machine, Emma Pollack and The New Pornographers. I’ve been looking forward to this show from the moment it was announced. Talk about the makings of a fun night.

Immaculate Machine opened and they are my favorite band that absolutely no one has ever heard of. Well, I did include them in a Wednesday Night Music Club at one point so you might actually have heard me rattle off their particulars before. Led by the lovely and talented Kathryn Calder (pictured above and crush-worthy beyond belief) they just have a bunch of catchy three minute pop songs. Just guitar, drums and keyboards, they don’t even bother with a bass player. Seriously, you need to search out some of their music. They even decided to sing one song partly in French because they’re from Canada and apparently it is a law or something.

(I’ll go into a little more detail about Kathryn later as well.)

Emma Pollack was second and while her set was good it will be best remembered for one of those constant thorns in my concert going side: the extremely wasted older woman. She was a good thirty feet away from me and I don’t know if she was drunk or stoned or what but she actually cleared out a ten foot radius of people who did not want to deal with her. She yelled at the band, the people standing next to her, and probably some random woodland creatures that she imagined were running across the speakers. It was disturbing and frightening as you wondered just what was going to happen. What happened was that about fifteen minutes into her display she decided to hold up her lighter in a big arena rock moment (for a set that featured acoustic guitars) and that’s when she was tossed. As I told the guy next to me, they can’t toss you for being an asshole but if you hold up a lighter at a no smoking show you’ll get canned. The crowd actually cheered when this happened.

That’s only the first part of the annoying crowd experience. I also had the eighteen year old girls next to me who decided to sit down between sets. Given their apparent lack of knowledge of three dimensional geometry they didn’t realize that they took up a lot more space sitting than standing thus resulting in the rest of the crowd being scrunched into each other and falling onto them whenever someone moved. I was so tempted to punt one of them or just accidentally step on a hand. I’m sorry but not only are my knees older than theirs but I have knee ligament tears that are older than they are. If I can stand for four hours so can you.

Since it’s Lawrence I also had the new generation hippie behind me who, when the Pornographers came out under a lighted sign that read “New Pornographers”, yelled directly into my ears “I love light up signs!” I don’t even want to think about how much you would have to up my medication to make me say that in public. Oh, I also had the annoying guy who had to talk to the band during the set next to me as well. I swear, I should be allowed to toss these people from shows because they obviously don’t appreciate it as much as I do. Yes, I am that much of a music snob.

Anyway, the New Pornographers were amazing as always. They had the full band this time around so I got to stand directly in front of Neko Case as I always do whenever she plays. You have to dig a band that just uses Neko to belt out songs and play tambourine. They are a pretty amazing band. It was always meant to be a side project as a Canadian supergroup except the side project has become more popular than anyone’s actual band. It’s power pop at its finest and while some people question the need for it, I love it. You don’t always need the full orchestra of Arcade Fire and Polyphonic Spree. Sometimes just guitars, keyboards, and the occasional six part harmony will do.

Kathryn Calder is also a part of the Pornographers and I really think she might be a breakout star. She has a look and talent and you only need the former to make it in the biz. The latter just makes it easier. She has a killer voice and is getting more notice by singing backup and an occasional lead and just learning from being on stage with Neko. I really want to see where her career goes because I can see her being a big deal in a few years.

I’ll wrap up with how the set wrapped up. They finished with the song “The Bleeding Heart Show”, which I know was used as music in a commercial at some point. The song ends with Neko singing “We have arrived” over and over. Standing in front of a stage with a full house behind me seeing a band I have followed for years seemingly make it was an awesome experience. They have arrived.

Out of the darkness and into the light

Best of 120 Minutes: I’ve occasionally been called a sexist pig. Ok, more than occasionally. I’m not sure why that is the case, just because I’ve stated that girls are bad at math doesn’t make me sexist. It means that engineering is an all male endeavor. Well, that and it probably makes me a sexist pig.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that one of my statements that people use to prove my sexism is “Women are unable to play a guitar solo. Except for Bonnie Raitt and she doesn’t count because she was taught guitar by blues legends.” That quote is from tonight’s featured artist, Juliana Hatfield. I still don’t know why women can’t play a proper solo, you could probably write a thesis based on the imagery of a guitar being slung low across the waist and all, but Juliana sure had great songs. She still does, but like most members of alternative nation, she’s a lot harder to find today.

Random High School Note: I have to congratulate my high school for making the final eight of the football playoffs for the first time ever. It’s a great day to be a Nazareth Roadrunner as we were able to showcase the awesome power of the roadrunner. Yeah, that nickname never really worked for the football team. Having a mascot that is best known for running away is always odd.

To give you a sense of my high school and the nature of my hometown, the national anthem at the game was sung by Jim Petarik, possibly the most famous native of Berwyn in history. Who is he? He’s the lead guy in Survivor. Yes, the guy behind Eye of the Tiger is from my hometown. That my friends, is the pinnacle of art where I’m from. Well, it is kind of cool…

Switching gears, it’s dawned on me that I can only write when it is dark out and that means that now I can start writing at 5:30. Yep, it’s time for my annual time change rant as I am currently lighting a candle and cursing the darkness. The time change in the fall doesn’t bother me as much and I really wish they had changed the time last week like they always used to. Did anyone seem a little out of sorts last week because we were still on daylight time? I just felt off, like it was just a little too dark in the morning and a little too light at night.

It’s strange just how much this will affect everyone this week. The entire country will have jet lag for a day and things will just not look right. I know that the official explanation is that this makes it light in the morning for schoolkids but really this is all about money. You want it light when people are awake and can do something and spend money. Personally I’d just appreciate a couple more hours in the day. Then maybe I could get everything accomplished.

What? You want me to talk about a football game this weekend? Wasn’t that Illini game great? We were able to finally defeat the Gophers in Minnesota for the first time since I was a senior. Oh, you mean that other game. Yeah. I’m pretty sure it didn’t happen. I’ve been watching football my entire life and Notre Dame always wins that game. Someone must have just keyed the score in wrong or something.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Mindy Smith “Long Island Shores”
2) Pieta Brown “In The Cool”
3) Cowboy Junkies “Studio”
4) Arcade Fire “Neon Bible”
5) Wayne Toups and Zydecajun “Fish Out of Water”

The EC Curse

So I just walked home from a bar and I passed something that was quite possibly the most unexpected sight in the world. For some reason, there was an ice cream truck parked just outside my apartment. It’s nine at night, it’s November, and it’s fifty degrees out. Why in the world are you driving around in an ice cream truck? And should I have been a lot more concerned about this than I was? Especially given that I saw it drive away with music playing?

(And yeah, I was coming home from a bar on a Thursday night. You’ve got a problem with that? I don’t have to answer to you and your rules. You’re not my dad. Well, except for the fact that my dad occasionally reads the blog in which case you would in fact be my dad. Uh, sorry about that, I promise to clean up my act in the future.)

I’ve decided to post a picture of one of my reigning Perfect Mates who made the news today. Yep, Martina Hingis (who ranks 8th or 9th on my list of women I would marry in a second) was found to have tested positive for cocaine at Wimbledon. She vigorously denies the charge and simultaneously announced her retirement from tennis. That is not quite the defense I was looking for. “These charges are completely untrue. On top of that, I quit so it’s not like you can punish me or anything. In fact, why look into the matter further?” Her other defense, and the one I kind of agree with, is why in the world would you play tennis on cocaine? Somehow being hyper and paranoid does not seem to be the best combination on a tennis court.

Sigh. First my beloved and now Martina. Apparently being an object of my desire is a dangerous career move. Heck, it probably explains why Julie Delpy hasn’t had a major starring role since An American Werewolf in Paris. I think my falling for you is worse than winning the Grammy for Best New Artist.

Oh, and a note for some people who might be wondering. I sadly will not be taking part in national Novel Writers Month this year. I know, this really sucks. Basically my job, my real life and some of my lingering medical issues kind of preclude me from trying to write 50,000 words in thirty days. It’s not that I’m not going to write the novel, it’s just being postponed to January and February. I’m going to turn November into National “Outline your plot and create character bios” month for me. “Until We Say Goodbye” will get written even if I have to work myself to the point where I collapse on the keyboard. Which, to be honest, is a distinct possibility.

That’s about it for this week. I have to start saving up for the new Harry Potter book. With only seven copies being made I figure my best choice will be to buy two and burn one of them. That might actually make financial sense. Also, for people expecting a monthly report from me it is coming. Again, things have gotten a bit frazzled on my end. Personally, I blame the lack of a time change.