Yes, thanks to the mighty power of the internet we now have a conclusive answer to The Dinner Paradox. For those of you who aren’t too familiar with The Dinner Paradox I along with several of my colleagues navigating the dating scene are constantly trying to figure out the proper first date protocol. Now, I consider myself to be a cultured and forward thinking somewhat young man. Thus, I have no problem with splitting the check. I also have no problem with paying for dinner either. However, by paying for dinner I might give the impression that I am creating a quid pro quo or even indicating to the woman that I feel the need to pay her for her time. On the other hand, by splitting the check I might look like a cheapskate. Hence, the paradox. Pay for dinner and she’ll think I’m a chauvinist pig. Split the check and she’ll be expecting me to steal ketchup packets on my way out of the restaurant.
This is not a minor issue. It’s probably the tensest part of the night. I’ve had huge arguments over what it indicated when I paid for dinner one night at Between the Buns. Like the fact that I considered a place named “Between the Buns” a perfectly fine location for an evening out wasn’t enough of a red flag to begin with. Anyway, this is one of those questions where I really needed to know the answer.
Thanks to the good folks at ask500people.com I was able to survey 100 people around the world on the following question: “On a first date, who should pay for dinner?” with the four options being a) the guy, b) the girl, c) split evenly and d) whoever asked the other one out. Follow the link to see a graphical version of this (as well as the opinion in Bolivia) but the quick results:
The Guy: 48
Whoever Asked the Other Out: 39
Split Evenly: 9
The Girl: 4
First off, I have to give props to the Dublin resident who voted for the Girl to pay for dinner. Because isn’t my company worth an additional payment? You’re getting to be seen in public with a guy like me, I should be getting my drinks for free at a minimum. (Yeah, that often repeated claim of “EC is a selfish bastard” is probably making the rounds again.)
But I have to say that I am rather amazed by this. I really thought that Split Evenly would have a much better showing. I really had thought that it had become the norm and that the whole “I’ll pay for everything” was considered passé. Whoever Asked the Other Out is probably a nicer compromise as that is typically the guy though I don’t think I would ever in a million years let someone pay for my check on the first date. That’s not chauvinism, it just feels like the most awkward thing in the world. The real answer is “The Guy pays, unless she asks you out in which case you split the check.” Please file that information for future reference.
Oh, and the reason why 100 people were surveyed from a site named “Ask 500 people” is due to the site still being in beta. It’s not a strong scientific sample and I’m not happy with the margin of error or the participation bias but it is still a good indicator. As to the two comments people had on my question my replies are: A) Yes, I did not account for same sex dating. While that is a valid point it a) not relevant to my study and b) really difficult to account for when you’re only given 100 characters for your question. Hopefully further study will be performed in that instance. B) “It depends” is never a valid answer.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Cowboy Junkies. They’ve been showing up in the random CD list for a few weeks now. Thought that I’d share a song while I was thinking about it.
1 comment:
Paying for dinner is never chauvinistic, it's chivalrous.
Well, maybe not 'never'; there's always an exception. Just don't preface it by saying something like "I am paying because I am a man and therefore command a higher salary than you if we were of equal merit and skill, which by virtue of me being male and you being female, is impossible." Then it is chauvinistic.
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