Life amongst the masses...

I can’t believe that I went through the entire list of Christmas specials and did not find a single mention of Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas. What type of world are we living in where we do not show every child Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas? Where else will children learn what happens when they punch a hole in the washtub to create a washtub bass, thus ruining their mother’s ability to earn a living? Or knowing that one day their mom is just going to go out and sell your tools just so she could buy a dress? It’s like Gift of the Magi except, you know, with otters.

(O. Henry is rolling over in his grave right now. Not because of the special though. More due to the fact that they named a god awful candy bar after him. Meanwhile the Three Musketeers are celebrating in the next world.)

Well, as most of you either know or could surmise I just came back from my third trip to Chicago in four weeks. Travel wasn’t that bad given that all you ever hear is the “worst travel weekend ever” stories. No real delays and the weather worked with me, which made my life very easy. Heck, I didn’t even mind sitting next to a one year old on one of the flights. I know no one believes me on this but I really like little kids, especially in small increments. I’m great as Uncle Chris and I hope that one day I’ll be able to turn it into more of a full time job. I’m not all cynicism and sarcasm. Ok, pretty much all but there is some niceness in me.

Anyway, I am now very familiar with Southwest’s new seating policy. In an attempt to just confuse the hell out of everybody they’ve changed their procedures after a few years of my gaming the system. Now when you check in you do not receive an assigned seat but you do get a specific place in line. So instead of lining up as a B group you line up as B13 in some game of airline bingo. What this means is that you no longer have people camping out in line for an hour before the plane even reaches the gate. Theoretically this will speed things up and at least make the gate area more organized.

Sadly, this ruins my brilliant plan that has worked wonders for me. See, I never check bags and often can’t check in online early. Hence, I usually check in at the airport. Now in the old days here is what I would do. I’d get one of the last B boarding cards, go to the gate, and sit down at the front of the B line. Slightly less comfortable than one of those plastic seats but not by much and I’d have a chance to read and burn time before my flight came. When it did I was essentially in the A boarding group getting a good seat and being assured of a spot for my bag. Now I’m stuck wondering if they’re going to have to check my bag because people continue to bring on roller bags that are bigger than the steamer trunk my grandfather had when he came to this country. Yes, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about this.

Best of 120 Minutes: I really think that I could listen to The Sundays every day for the rest of my life and never grow bored. Man, Harriet Wheeler had one of the best voices ever. This band never got the attention they deserved and I still miss them.



The five random CDs of the week:
1) The Waco Brothers “To the Last Dead Cowboy:
2) The Tragically Hip “Trouble at the Henhouse”
3) Jon Dee Graham “Escape From Monster Island”
4) Richard Buckner “The Hill”
5) Cowboy Mouth “Are You With Me?”