Top novels of all time

Came across another one of those “Best novels of all time” list, this time from Time magazine.

www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html

So, these are the top 100 novels of all time. With novel described as a fictional book written in English. And All Time defines as since 1923. That means I’ve got a few problems with the title of the list before I even get into the titles on the list. Of the 100 I’ve read 23, which isn’t bad for a guy who never took an English Lit course past English 103. This means that I am more than qualified to pass on comments on a few books shown on the list (and some horrible omissions)

Animal Farm by George Orwell: I think I first read this book in eighth grade. It’s probably one that I should reread even though I can still recount a number of the rules by memory. Heck, I’ve used “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others” in everyday conversation. Great book.

1984 by George Orwell: No problem with it’s inclusion but how could they not list its companion “Brave New World” by Adolphous Huxley? Those are the two books that best defined the dark view of the future

Neuromancer by William Gibson: Ok, three books defined the dark view of the future. The book that gave us the term “Cyberpunk”

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis: Wow, I think I read this one when I was in fourth grade. Admittedly, a lot of the symbolism went over my head but for a Dungeon and Dragons kid this was a classic.

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood: It’s a good book but I wouldn’t even call it her best novel. I’d have to put The Handmaid’s Tale in its place. Maybe they just didn’t want that many books that were mainly about how society will collapse into a totalitarian state. Though that has been a constant theme of modern literature for the past sixty years.

Deliverance by James Dickey: Yes, this was actually a novel first. Sadly, like everyone else I was unable to read it without imagining Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty. I think it will take a few generations and an end to cable repeats for this book to regain its credibility.

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell: A literary critic made this list? I have never in my life heard anyway with half a critical brain say anything good about that book. It’s famous because it had a big budget movie made from it. It is a travesty that a book like this is shown while John Kennedy Toole’s “A Confederacy of Dunces” is excluded.

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut: One of my favorite books of all time. Though I actually got an F on a paper I wrote about it. (Not kidding, one of the few times in my life where I actually failed, it was senior year in high school.) Basically, when you are writing a report on a book that travels in time just keep your verb tense in the past tense. Most teachers won’t consider a constant change in tense as an homage to the source material.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: The greatest piece of literature ever written by an American author. There is no argument. (Other than maybe Huck Finn)

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace: I just want to state that I actually finished this book. If you’ve ever seen it, you’ll understand why I feel the need to yell that from the mountaintop. It’s a great book about (in equal parts) tennis, advanced calculus, and smoking pot.

Watchmen by Alan Moore: This is a graphic novel. Not a comic book as others would claim. If you’ve ever wondered about what is in that graphic novel section in your local bookstore you should start with this one. It will make you rethink everything that you thought was possible in telling a story.

And of course, the absolute best one on the list…

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume

See, this is how you can tell I wasn’t behind the list. Because if it was me I would have included Superfudge as my token Judy Blume novel.

(Oh god, I can remember books I read in fourth grade. That is scary)

I’m sorry, but how in the world does Judy Blume make the list of top writers of all time? I mean, sure, she wrote great books for young adults and Are You There God fits the bill but of all time? Am I the only person who has a problem with this? Help me out here.