Today marks my ninetieth straight day of meditating. This means that either I have reached total enlightenment and have become one with the universe or I have become addicted to the dopamine ping of clicking on an app and having it say “Congratulations, you have been clicking on me every day! Aren’t you special!”
Yeah, smart money is on the latter.
But, this is the longest I have been able to keep up with the goal of meditating for ten minutes a day and I’ve been pleased with it for the most part. For those wondering I use the Headspace app, which hits the right notes for me in having directions that are simple and clear and are spoken in a calm, British voice which makes you feel as though someone is making a cup of tea in the background. I don’t even drink tea but it just gets you in the mindset of being relaxed for a moment.
(On the other hand, the Calm app is filled with nature sounds and lots of talk about getting in touch with your inner self, which just makes me feel as though bugs are crawling all over me while I am reminded of how much of a failure I have been at life. Also, while I am a fan of Sam Harris and have used some of his meditations in the past he tends to quickly go from “now close your eyes and focus on your breathing” to “realize there is no such thing as self” to “you do understand that free will is an illusion and we are all just a set of sub-atomic particles following a direct course dictated by the laws of physics” really, really quickly. It’s not that I don’t want to explore his ideas or even that I disagree with them. It’s just that I would rather put that on my to do list because otherwise I tend to find myself curled up in a corner muttering about how we are all living in a computer simulation.
Yes, determining if we are living in a computer simulation is on my to do list. Right now I’m concerned that the ultimate programmer is worse at writing code than I am.)
Anyway, I will say that taking ten minutes a day to sit in silence and try to clear my head has been useful. Not that I ever make it through all ten minutes uninterrupted but at least I am making that time for myself. It’s helped my mood and my anxiety is slightly better. The most interesting thing so far is that it seems to have helped me fall asleep faster. It’s been a lot easier to quiet my mind at night and fall asleep which is a wonder for someone who has dealt with endless nights of thoughts racing through my head. So, haven’t reached nirvana yet but it has at least shown some benefits.
Have a good weekend everyone.
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