I figured that I would share the scariest picture that I could find tonight. I’m pretty sure it can’t be beat. The depressing circular tables, the unergonomic chairs and the horrifying ennui of a little used hotel conference room.
Oh, and the clowns. Definitely the clowns. There is no way in the world that the second one on the left hasn’t left a few bodies hastily disposed of in a forest.
I’m not sure if the intense fear of clowns is new or just something I’ve become more aware of over the years. My grandmother collected little clown figurines and I have a few of hers on my desk at home as a reminder of her. It’s really tough for me to view clowns as scary in that regard. They just remind me of grandma’s house.
This picture, on the other hand…
I think there are a few reasons why clowns terrify people. Some of it must go back to childhood birthday parties where this giant person in outrageous makeup and costume acts crazy in front of you and instead of finding it funny you have no idea how to react because this thing is the exact opposite of everything that you have encountered in your entire life. Also, your average birthday clown isn’t particularly funny and balloon animals are highly overrated.
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In my mind what makes people scared of clowns is that there makeup and costume makes them impossible to read. They are so outlandish and noticeable that our minds can’t grasp their motivations. The white makeup erases your ability to focus on any facial expressions other than the big red nose. The wigs freak you out because of the fact that they clearly are wigs and it puts them in that uncanny valley between people and pictures. Add in the baggy, oversized clothing that drives you to insane thoughts about what might be hiding amongst the folds and you have the stuff of nightmares.
So just remember tonight that in the Ramada off that highway exit that you’ve never seen anyone actually take, in a back corner conference room reserved for a “Cereal Convention” this scene is taking place. Beware.
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