A Short Stroll Spoiled...

Here is my latest example of either what it is like to live in South Florida or why I should just start writing “The Fall of the American Empire” now so that I can be the first person to get it published when the end eventually happens. Earlier today I was reading one of those local area magazines (the type that are not technically advertisements but are certainly not a hotbed for investigative journalism) and they had a four page article on miniature golf. Nothing wrong with that and it certainly led me to read the article though the fact that this article made the magazine cover should give you a sense of what this magazine was like.

No, what just blew my mind was the one paragraph that discussed, and I swear I am not making this up, “the long lasting health benefits of playing miniature golf.” Let’s just analyze this shall we? This article is postulating that playing miniature golf is a great form of exercise because you a) walk, b) vaguely swing your arms occasionally and c) have to bend over a few times. I’m not being cynical in that list: the author specifically called out those activities. We have apparently reached the point where we are so useless as a society that standing up and bending over occasionally is considered a challenging workout. To be honest I am surprised that no one has picked up on using golf carts on miniature golf courses or at least install a moving sidewalk.

I know that I shouldn’t be the one to talk about physical fitness but I am amazed at how things have changed over my lifetime. When we were at Disney World last year I was stunned by just how many people you would see riding electric scooters throughout the park. This wasn’t because they were elderly or incapable of walking; in fact, you could see nothing that would prevent them from walking. But there they were, lined up like their own little ride, and you would look and wonder if they were just too lazy to walk. That is something I cannot remember seeing growing up.

I do exercise regularly, nothing insane but some good effort several times a week. Over the past few years of doing this and changing my diet to the point that I eat actual food and drink less beer I’ve ended up losing about 35 pounds and am actually in the normal weight range for my height. Just being in the normal range places me above average in terms of healthy weight which is a completely paradoxical sentence to write. The main thing though is that you have to do something. You have to sweat. You have to get off the couch. Miniature golf will do the latter but I doubt that it will do the former. If it does the former you probably have a few other issues to worry about.

Best of 120 Minutes: Let’s get the week started with some Social Distortion

The five random CDs for the week:

1)      Josh Rouse “Nashville”

2)      Loreena McKennitt “To Drive the Cold Winter Away”

3)      Various Artists “Emerald Rock”

4)      Jon Dee Graham “Escape from Monster Island”

5)      R.E.M. “Eponymous”