Last bit on the music comments: I completely agree about the revamping of Borders. For several years they were one of the best places to find music. They had an eclectic selection and while it was expensive you could certainly find what you were looking for. Over the past year or so I saw the quality and the care of the section decrease massively (the special displays seemed to go from highlighting artists to housing whatever CDs they had extras of.) Now they have removed most of the section completely and replaced it with absolutely nothing. Which is strange because I don’t think they have a clue what to do with that square footage and that has to be really troubling for the company. Still, that was the last straw on big box stores where you could find good music.
I’ve got a little bit of an apartment rant to go on at the moment. As I’ve mentioned before I live in a high rise apartment with massive windows. Well, on these massive windows have collected an amazing group of spiders. I say amazing because I am really high up in the air. Seriously, I’ve had birds smack into my windows up here. Yet I still have these spiders building intricate webs and capturing numerous insects. And these aren’t small spiders. These guys have some pretty serious length to them.
The good news is that they are on the outside of windows that cannot open so I don’t have to worry about them invading my apartment. However it is still rather creepy to look up and see a spider going flying past your field of view as it picks off whatever just hit its web. Right now I can see five of them and I can’t do anything about them. It does give me a bit of the heebie jeebies. My only solution is to pull down the shades but that would ruin the view of downtown Wilmington, which I admit isn’t much but it is really the only thing I have going for me here in Wilmington.
And Wilmington does have a skyline even though it consists mainly of bank buildings. Which was fun during the financial meltdown as I would wonder how they could even afford to keep the lights on. (Seriously, Chase and ING keep every single light on at all times. If I didn’t get paid by electricity usage I would have an issue.) I still don’t have a sense of this town though. Maybe my years out in Kansas have spoiled me as I got used to the sprawl. Big empty spaces filled up with strip malls. Now I am in the land of winding roads and no straight lines and I am never quite sure how to get from one place to another. Maybe I will get used to it eventually.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Since I’ve mentioned Carbon Leaf a lot this week I thought I would put in a live clip of them. This is from a record store appearance and shows how they caught my eye.
Showing posts with label Apartment Living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Apartment Living. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Basically, make it look like you don't live there
In a bid to make this site more beneficial to my regular readers I have decided to post these helpful hints as to what every single male must do to his apartment before inviting a woman over. Yeah, I know, this is mainly theoretical on my part. It’s nice to know that I can discuss what happened in the first three seconds of the universe’s existence and not be questioned in the slightest but the second I talk about relationships it suddenly becomes impossible to believe that I may have insight into the matter. Still, here is a handy list to use at your convenience.
· Remove all reading material from your bathroom: As the one place it is certain that the woman will enter is your bathroom it is vitally important that you set up that room as if you have never entered it. Thus, remove all books, magazines and other items that you use to avoid the otherwise deadtime in your life.
· Sticking with the bathroom, besides cleaning it, clearly place items that show you take care of yourself but remove those that are too indicative of the fact: All guys have liquid soap. Classy guys like myself have high end cleanser, face scrub and hair gel neatly organized with the labels facing out near the sink. Hide the nose hair trimmer though. As important it is to know that you have a situation there that needs addressing it is not something that you wish to advertise.
· Candles. They come with a catch: You want to have a few small, scented candles scattered around your apartment as proper decorating items. However, there are a number of rules that come with the operation of these candles. 1) They cannot be lit when she enters the room. That indicates that once you hit play on the stereo you will hear the soulful sounds of Barry White and that is not the best first impression to make. 2) They cannot show any evidence of ever being lit. That means that you had another woman over recently and were too lazy to get new candles. 3) Rules 1 and 2 can be ignored if you suffered at least a three day electricity outage in the past two weeks.
· Hide any films starring Bridget the Midget: Note: may not be applicable if one is dating someone who is vertically challenged though on second thought, hide it really well in that case. This goes double if said films also involve clowns.
· Magazines may be neatly arranged on a coffee table taking special care to disguise those that may feature actresses in skimpy attire. It goes without saying that you should keep your collection of Maxim issues out of plain sight. There is a bigger challenge when it comes to GQ and Esquire. These are actually useful magazines that one reads for personal benefit that just happen to occasionally feature a nude Jennifer Aniston on the cover. In that instance, best to hide or in my case, momentarily organize the stack of issues in non-chronological order. While that goes against all principles of natural structure it is a price one must pay.
· Reorganize bookshelves to display most popular and /or impressive books in the most prominent position: You’ll want to use this as a conversation piece so start with what will work, even if that means admitting that you own The Da Vinci Code. Your science fiction collection should be moved down a few shelves. If you’re like me and have an entire shelf dedicated to pro wrestling auto-biographies well, you should just be happy that a woman has voluntarily entered your abode in the first place.
· On that note, hide the pro wrestling DVDs: Though if you meet a woman who goes “why don’t we just snuggle together on the couch and watch The History of the Intercontinental Title DVD” marry her instantly.
· Stock the refrigerator and pantry with items that indicate that you know how to cook and / or take care of yourself: Whether you actually can or do cook is irrelevant. The key is to give the impression that you do. Hence, the fridge should contain some sort of green vegetable as well as something that could be described as fruit. Leftovers should only remain if they are less than one day old and not in a takeout container. While microwave and bag dinners are acceptable they need to be balanced by other items that would at least require turning on the stove to cook. Random spices are also beneficial. And for the love of God, bottled water in the fridge please. She’s going to ask for water and you look like you know what you are doing when you pull out a nice, chilled bottle of water.
· Remove the action figures from your home office: I know Boba Fett is the man. You know Boba Fett is the man. Hell, she knows Boba Fett is the man. For some reason though it is unacceptable to place Boba Fett in his rightful place of honor inside your apartment. For the life of me I do not know why.
That is what I have to start with. Any additions?
Best of 120 Minutes: I’ll leave it to Juliana Hatfield to describe how most of my workouts have been going recently. After another bike ride to nowhere somehow this seems really fitting.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Insiders “Not For Sale”
2) Julie Delpy “Julie Delpy”
3) Jon Dee Graham “Swept Away”
4) Lyle Lovett “Lyle Lovett”
5) Victoria Williams “Water to Drink”
· Remove all reading material from your bathroom: As the one place it is certain that the woman will enter is your bathroom it is vitally important that you set up that room as if you have never entered it. Thus, remove all books, magazines and other items that you use to avoid the otherwise deadtime in your life.
· Sticking with the bathroom, besides cleaning it, clearly place items that show you take care of yourself but remove those that are too indicative of the fact: All guys have liquid soap. Classy guys like myself have high end cleanser, face scrub and hair gel neatly organized with the labels facing out near the sink. Hide the nose hair trimmer though. As important it is to know that you have a situation there that needs addressing it is not something that you wish to advertise.
· Candles. They come with a catch: You want to have a few small, scented candles scattered around your apartment as proper decorating items. However, there are a number of rules that come with the operation of these candles. 1) They cannot be lit when she enters the room. That indicates that once you hit play on the stereo you will hear the soulful sounds of Barry White and that is not the best first impression to make. 2) They cannot show any evidence of ever being lit. That means that you had another woman over recently and were too lazy to get new candles. 3) Rules 1 and 2 can be ignored if you suffered at least a three day electricity outage in the past two weeks.
· Hide any films starring Bridget the Midget: Note: may not be applicable if one is dating someone who is vertically challenged though on second thought, hide it really well in that case. This goes double if said films also involve clowns.
· Magazines may be neatly arranged on a coffee table taking special care to disguise those that may feature actresses in skimpy attire. It goes without saying that you should keep your collection of Maxim issues out of plain sight. There is a bigger challenge when it comes to GQ and Esquire. These are actually useful magazines that one reads for personal benefit that just happen to occasionally feature a nude Jennifer Aniston on the cover. In that instance, best to hide or in my case, momentarily organize the stack of issues in non-chronological order. While that goes against all principles of natural structure it is a price one must pay.
· Reorganize bookshelves to display most popular and /or impressive books in the most prominent position: You’ll want to use this as a conversation piece so start with what will work, even if that means admitting that you own The Da Vinci Code. Your science fiction collection should be moved down a few shelves. If you’re like me and have an entire shelf dedicated to pro wrestling auto-biographies well, you should just be happy that a woman has voluntarily entered your abode in the first place.
· On that note, hide the pro wrestling DVDs: Though if you meet a woman who goes “why don’t we just snuggle together on the couch and watch The History of the Intercontinental Title DVD” marry her instantly.
· Stock the refrigerator and pantry with items that indicate that you know how to cook and / or take care of yourself: Whether you actually can or do cook is irrelevant. The key is to give the impression that you do. Hence, the fridge should contain some sort of green vegetable as well as something that could be described as fruit. Leftovers should only remain if they are less than one day old and not in a takeout container. While microwave and bag dinners are acceptable they need to be balanced by other items that would at least require turning on the stove to cook. Random spices are also beneficial. And for the love of God, bottled water in the fridge please. She’s going to ask for water and you look like you know what you are doing when you pull out a nice, chilled bottle of water.
· Remove the action figures from your home office: I know Boba Fett is the man. You know Boba Fett is the man. Hell, she knows Boba Fett is the man. For some reason though it is unacceptable to place Boba Fett in his rightful place of honor inside your apartment. For the life of me I do not know why.
That is what I have to start with. Any additions?
Best of 120 Minutes: I’ll leave it to Juliana Hatfield to describe how most of my workouts have been going recently. After another bike ride to nowhere somehow this seems really fitting.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Insiders “Not For Sale”
2) Julie Delpy “Julie Delpy”
3) Jon Dee Graham “Swept Away”
4) Lyle Lovett “Lyle Lovett”
5) Victoria Williams “Water to Drink”
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The level of courtesy required
I'm not sure what the following story says about me or society in general. I have been wondering lately if I have gotten a touch too cynical, or at least very dark-hearted about the world around me. Maybe this story explains where my head is at.
I've mentioned before that I now live in a high rise apartment. As a result, this is the first time in my life where I live in a building where I have to take an elevator on a daily basis. I didn't even have to do that in my dorm at college. This does force me into a fair bit of human interaction though not as much as one would expect. I apparently run on a different schedule than most of the people in my building as the elevator is typically empty when I get on. But this week I had a very interesting experience.
So I get home after working late and I'm in the lobby with two people who have gotten there before me. One of whom has a large number of shopping bags. They had already called for the elevator and when the doors open we all get in plus one other person on ahead of me. We all press our floor numbers except for the guy with the shopping bags, something that we all fail to notice until he sarcastically blurts out the following:
"Isn't anyone going to ask me my floor number?"
The degree to which this statement pissed me off really frightens me. His tone was just so accusatory as if the other three of us were just so pathetic that we lacked the common human decency to ask someone with bags what their floor was. And maybe there is something to be said for that but all I could think of was the following.
1) How the hell was I supposed to know to ask? There were three numbers pressed and a likelihood that one of them was the floor you wanted. 2) Why didn't you just say "Could someone punch 12 for me?" I would not have a single problem with that and would gladly do so. In fact, that is what I have done in similar circumstances. I've never taken it to be a god given right that complete strangers will preemptively bow to my every whim just because I have my hands full.
I left the elevator pissed off. I was upset that someone would dare try to guilt trip me just because I didn't go out of my way to assist someone I didn't know needed assisting. I'm not sure that I like having that feeling. Yes, I pride myself on being tough and living a take no prisoners, use every ounce of energy you have lifestyle. Henry Rollins would be very proud of my reaction, except that he would have encouraged me to swear at the guy as I left the elevator. The thing is, I'm not sure if that is who I really am.
I'm a nice guy. I go out of my way for people. I've said on occasion that I'm more interested in making other people happy than I am about making myself happy and I really think that is true. It's really the only way to explain the path my life has taken. And recently I wonder if that nice guy has just taken a few too many beatings and is being replaced with someone with a much harder edge. Someone who carries less guilt for not being perfect to all people at all times. While that probably makes me more like everyone else in the world I don't think I like it. I don't like being mean and I have a feeling that I am on that path.
It's something for me to think about at least. For my American readers, have a very Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. For those from different lands, have fun in the office suckers. We've at least been smart enough to schedule holidays to provide for a four day weekend. Now if we were only smart enough to do so in nice weather.
I've mentioned before that I now live in a high rise apartment. As a result, this is the first time in my life where I live in a building where I have to take an elevator on a daily basis. I didn't even have to do that in my dorm at college. This does force me into a fair bit of human interaction though not as much as one would expect. I apparently run on a different schedule than most of the people in my building as the elevator is typically empty when I get on. But this week I had a very interesting experience.
So I get home after working late and I'm in the lobby with two people who have gotten there before me. One of whom has a large number of shopping bags. They had already called for the elevator and when the doors open we all get in plus one other person on ahead of me. We all press our floor numbers except for the guy with the shopping bags, something that we all fail to notice until he sarcastically blurts out the following:
"Isn't anyone going to ask me my floor number?"
The degree to which this statement pissed me off really frightens me. His tone was just so accusatory as if the other three of us were just so pathetic that we lacked the common human decency to ask someone with bags what their floor was. And maybe there is something to be said for that but all I could think of was the following.
1) How the hell was I supposed to know to ask? There were three numbers pressed and a likelihood that one of them was the floor you wanted. 2) Why didn't you just say "Could someone punch 12 for me?" I would not have a single problem with that and would gladly do so. In fact, that is what I have done in similar circumstances. I've never taken it to be a god given right that complete strangers will preemptively bow to my every whim just because I have my hands full.
I left the elevator pissed off. I was upset that someone would dare try to guilt trip me just because I didn't go out of my way to assist someone I didn't know needed assisting. I'm not sure that I like having that feeling. Yes, I pride myself on being tough and living a take no prisoners, use every ounce of energy you have lifestyle. Henry Rollins would be very proud of my reaction, except that he would have encouraged me to swear at the guy as I left the elevator. The thing is, I'm not sure if that is who I really am.
I'm a nice guy. I go out of my way for people. I've said on occasion that I'm more interested in making other people happy than I am about making myself happy and I really think that is true. It's really the only way to explain the path my life has taken. And recently I wonder if that nice guy has just taken a few too many beatings and is being replaced with someone with a much harder edge. Someone who carries less guilt for not being perfect to all people at all times. While that probably makes me more like everyone else in the world I don't think I like it. I don't like being mean and I have a feeling that I am on that path.
It's something for me to think about at least. For my American readers, have a very Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. For those from different lands, have fun in the office suckers. We've at least been smart enough to schedule holidays to provide for a four day weekend. Now if we were only smart enough to do so in nice weather.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
I could even take the Amtrak to Washington
I’m just going to end the week with a whole bunch of quick bits of things that were meant to be filler in the live blog but didn’t quite make their way there. I’d write this in paragraph form but that would require trying to craft this into a cohesive whole and I have a sinking feeling that I am too ill equipped for such an epic task.
1) I have a new least favorite person in the gym. For my first month of working out I have had exceptional luck with finding an open treadmill. Until this week I had never had an issue. This week though has been absolute crap. Today I was forced to bike 12 miles because someone decided to walk as slow as possible for forty minutes. You know what? If you are wearing a collared shirt it can’t really be considered exercise. It’s not like I’m an athlete or anything but at least I sweat. And I hate having to ride an exercise bike. It is the most boring thing known to man.
2) When you have a decent commute it is the little things that you take pleasure in. Just one little sight that makes things interesting. Such as the sign that reads “Wilmington: A Place to be Somebody”. Which is nice because it leaves open the option of remaining a nobody. So, you can imagine my dismay when my favorite billboard was replaced this week. Every day I would be stopped at a light looking at an advertisement for the University of Delaware’s MBA program. This wouldn’t mean much except that in the dead center of the picture was a rather pretty blonde. Just knowing that I would see her made getting in the car worthwhile. Now it’s been replaced by an advertisement for a cardiac center. So I have gone from seeing something that makes my heart go pitter patter to something that makes me worry about my cholesterol. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.
3) Oh, and to show how out of it I am (and how the time change screwed me up) I actually took a wrong turn on the way home this week. Now, in my defense I was tired, it was raining and this area seems to consider streetlights the work of the devil. However, imagine my joy when after a few minutes I realized that I was on a rural road with absolutely no idea where I was. I really miss I-35. Yes, it was boring and annoying but at least you could see the damn road.
4) Back to the advertising front has anyone else been stunned by the continual advertising of The World at War on DVD? As in the Time Life series on World War II that is now being advertised on network television in prime time? Now I remember these commercials from years ago back when it was on VHS and they were a staple of afternoon cable television. But to see them on prime time is just jarring. First off, I don’t really see there being a great market for people wanting crystal clear copies of World War II footage. But more to the point, is the advertising market so weak that Time Life can afford spots on national television? If there was ever a sign that network television and cable are on the same playing field then this is it.
5) Random note: Will someone who reads this (and knows me well) please email me in the next week or so to remind me to write the story of my perfect day? I’m not sure if it is blog material but it needs to be written and I have a feeling that if I’m not pushed to write it I might forget about it.
6) For those wondering, yes I am on the shortlist to take Joe Biden’s spot as senator from Delaware. However, that is mainly because I am one of only twelve people in this entire state who is actually qualified to serve in the senate. Being senator from Delaware is kind of like being named Miss Wyoming. Sure it is an honor and you get to be on the big stage along with everyone else but let’s face it; it’s not like the competition is very fierce.
7) Next week: Anniversary Celebration!!! And yes, there will be free gifts! For all of you who ever thought “Chris should pay me for having to read this every day” you will finally get your wish. Consider it a way to show off my Sprint marketing expertise: I will pay you to use my service. But it should be a lot of fun. Also everything is on track for a uber cool post on Sunday. I hope it works out the way I envision it.
1) I have a new least favorite person in the gym. For my first month of working out I have had exceptional luck with finding an open treadmill. Until this week I had never had an issue. This week though has been absolute crap. Today I was forced to bike 12 miles because someone decided to walk as slow as possible for forty minutes. You know what? If you are wearing a collared shirt it can’t really be considered exercise. It’s not like I’m an athlete or anything but at least I sweat. And I hate having to ride an exercise bike. It is the most boring thing known to man.
2) When you have a decent commute it is the little things that you take pleasure in. Just one little sight that makes things interesting. Such as the sign that reads “Wilmington: A Place to be Somebody”. Which is nice because it leaves open the option of remaining a nobody. So, you can imagine my dismay when my favorite billboard was replaced this week. Every day I would be stopped at a light looking at an advertisement for the University of Delaware’s MBA program. This wouldn’t mean much except that in the dead center of the picture was a rather pretty blonde. Just knowing that I would see her made getting in the car worthwhile. Now it’s been replaced by an advertisement for a cardiac center. So I have gone from seeing something that makes my heart go pitter patter to something that makes me worry about my cholesterol. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.
3) Oh, and to show how out of it I am (and how the time change screwed me up) I actually took a wrong turn on the way home this week. Now, in my defense I was tired, it was raining and this area seems to consider streetlights the work of the devil. However, imagine my joy when after a few minutes I realized that I was on a rural road with absolutely no idea where I was. I really miss I-35. Yes, it was boring and annoying but at least you could see the damn road.
4) Back to the advertising front has anyone else been stunned by the continual advertising of The World at War on DVD? As in the Time Life series on World War II that is now being advertised on network television in prime time? Now I remember these commercials from years ago back when it was on VHS and they were a staple of afternoon cable television. But to see them on prime time is just jarring. First off, I don’t really see there being a great market for people wanting crystal clear copies of World War II footage. But more to the point, is the advertising market so weak that Time Life can afford spots on national television? If there was ever a sign that network television and cable are on the same playing field then this is it.
5) Random note: Will someone who reads this (and knows me well) please email me in the next week or so to remind me to write the story of my perfect day? I’m not sure if it is blog material but it needs to be written and I have a feeling that if I’m not pushed to write it I might forget about it.
6) For those wondering, yes I am on the shortlist to take Joe Biden’s spot as senator from Delaware. However, that is mainly because I am one of only twelve people in this entire state who is actually qualified to serve in the senate. Being senator from Delaware is kind of like being named Miss Wyoming. Sure it is an honor and you get to be on the big stage along with everyone else but let’s face it; it’s not like the competition is very fierce.
7) Next week: Anniversary Celebration!!! And yes, there will be free gifts! For all of you who ever thought “Chris should pay me for having to read this every day” you will finally get your wish. Consider it a way to show off my Sprint marketing expertise: I will pay you to use my service. But it should be a lot of fun. Also everything is on track for a uber cool post on Sunday. I hope it works out the way I envision it.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Fraternity flags to be flown at half staff
The economic news is getting worse and worse. I know that companies need to reexamine their cost structures and perform some belt tightening but this is the worst news that I have heard in ages. I recommend sitting down before reading the following news item. Actually, if you are reading my blog while standing I am really curious as to how you are accessing it. Ok, brace yourself…
Miller has ceased production of Zima.
Now this raises several questions. First is “You mean they were still making Zima?” It’s a bit of a surprise that they were still brewing it. I just assumed that they were still selling the batch they brewed in 1995 and only now had come down to the last bottle. Second is “What will douchebags drink now?” Has there ever been a drink so universally ridiculed as Zima. Meaning that there was a certain type of guy who would drink Zima and everyone agreed that they would want to stay as far away from that guy as is possible. But living in a world without Zima is like living in a world without koala bears. Sure, their extinction has no ill effects on the state of the planet and yes they are so cute to be annoying but their presence makes the world a more interesting place.
Side note: I think that we have reached the point where “Dow Jones posts triple digit loss” no longer has to be shown as “Breaking News” on CNBC. At this point it should just be called “Your typical Wednesday.”
I’m not going to write much tonight (my recaps the past two nights were long enough) but I need to discuss something from my apartment that amazes me. Now my exercise room is on the second floor and I live on a floor significantly higher than that. As a result, I take the elevator back up to my apartment thereby negating my entire workout. But that isn’t what I am writing about.
On numerous occasions the following has happened. The elevator doors open on the second floor and someone gets off. I hit my floor button and notice that another button is already lit. Right as the doors close I hear the person swear as they realize they got off on the wrong floor. Now, I can understand that in a general sense. But if you were expecting to get off on the twelfth floor and instead got off on the second wouldn’t you at least think that the elevator ride went a lot quicker than usual? And wouldn’t the horribly sweaty guy who just got on the elevator be a bit of an indication that something is different? Just a thought.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I use the term friend of the blog rather broadly. There isn’t really a criteria. However, Maggie Walters is a true friend of the blog in that she actually showed up at my office once just so I could have a copy of her latest CD. As a result I do everything in my power to help publicize her. Here is a fan video featuring her song “Sundays”. Enjoy.
Miller has ceased production of Zima.
Now this raises several questions. First is “You mean they were still making Zima?” It’s a bit of a surprise that they were still brewing it. I just assumed that they were still selling the batch they brewed in 1995 and only now had come down to the last bottle. Second is “What will douchebags drink now?” Has there ever been a drink so universally ridiculed as Zima. Meaning that there was a certain type of guy who would drink Zima and everyone agreed that they would want to stay as far away from that guy as is possible. But living in a world without Zima is like living in a world without koala bears. Sure, their extinction has no ill effects on the state of the planet and yes they are so cute to be annoying but their presence makes the world a more interesting place.
Side note: I think that we have reached the point where “Dow Jones posts triple digit loss” no longer has to be shown as “Breaking News” on CNBC. At this point it should just be called “Your typical Wednesday.”
I’m not going to write much tonight (my recaps the past two nights were long enough) but I need to discuss something from my apartment that amazes me. Now my exercise room is on the second floor and I live on a floor significantly higher than that. As a result, I take the elevator back up to my apartment thereby negating my entire workout. But that isn’t what I am writing about.
On numerous occasions the following has happened. The elevator doors open on the second floor and someone gets off. I hit my floor button and notice that another button is already lit. Right as the doors close I hear the person swear as they realize they got off on the wrong floor. Now, I can understand that in a general sense. But if you were expecting to get off on the twelfth floor and instead got off on the second wouldn’t you at least think that the elevator ride went a lot quicker than usual? And wouldn’t the horribly sweaty guy who just got on the elevator be a bit of an indication that something is different? Just a thought.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I use the term friend of the blog rather broadly. There isn’t really a criteria. However, Maggie Walters is a true friend of the blog in that she actually showed up at my office once just so I could have a copy of her latest CD. As a result I do everything in my power to help publicize her. Here is a fan video featuring her song “Sundays”. Enjoy.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Dude, pass the Funyuns...
(Cough cough. No, I haven’t been celebrating anything today. Why do you ask? But I mean, have you ever just looked at the sky and gone “Wow man, it’s so effing huge! Play that Dead album again!”)
When I got my apartment one of my big selling points was my deck. It seemed so cool that I would have this little patio all my own. It made it seem a little less like a completely cookie cutter existence. I even had a view, how awesome is that? I just imagined myself sitting out there on summer nights, reading away.
Well, things didn’t work out quite as well as planned. My patio overlooks a parking lot and my city view consists of a couple of stoplights and skyline dominated by radio towers. Per Missouri state law it is illegal for me to have a barbecue grill, which was good planning on the legislature’s part because it would prove to be dangerous to my health. I also completely misjudged the Kansas City weather as my dreams of coming home from work on a summer night and reading to relax were dashed by the fact that summer nights here are 95 and humid, which along with the exhaust fumes from the road really ruin the moment. But there are a few weeks in spring (with today being a prime example) where I get to sit outside and just relax in some fresher air than what I have in the apartment. Except that I am no longer alone out there.
A few years ago a couple of pigeons decided to roost on my patio. Now I don’t really have a problem with this even though pigeons are nothing more than flying rats. However, they are living creatures and everything has a right to try to make its way in this world and as long as they don’t bother me I won’t bother them. They’re peaceful enough, don’t make noise and due to their nature are really kindred souls to me. Let me explain.
These pigeons have decided to roost on a support plank for the patio above my apartment that is maybe five inches wide. This is not exactly the right size for a nest so they have created some rather intricate engineering work to just keep this thing stable. In addition, my neighborhood lacks trees so I believe that part of their nest is constructed out of Sonic take out cups. While they had the sense to make sure that they are out of the rain they have never learned to anticipate the wind patterns that come with storms and blow down their nest. For years I have watched these birds build a nest, set up shop, have a windstorm knock everything around, and then rebuild the nest. They continually do the exact same thing with the hope that things will work out better next time.
Let’s be honest, I live my life the exact same way. If something fails I just blame luck and go back and try again. At some point it will have to work out. I joked with someone recently that I consider my luck with relationships to be the same as flipping a coin fifty times in a row and getting tails every single time. Sure, from a probabilistic point of view there is nothing wrong with that result but at some point you have to start questioning the coin. I never question the coin, just assume that I am right and move on. That’s not precisely the best attitude to have in life. Eventually I will have to admit that possibly, as unbelievably unlikely as that may be, that I could theoretically be wrong. Of course I’m never wrong so I’ll continue rebuilding my broken nest with my pigeon friends.
Best of 120 Minutes: In honor of 4/20 I was originally going to post the Spin Doctors “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” as a public service message warning children about what music they will end up liking if they do drugs. However, in their infinite wisdom Sony has decided that embedding Spin Doctors videos is a bad thing so I can’t do that. (Apparently there is a huge piracy ring surrounding fifteen year old Spin Doctors songs. Who knew?) Instead I’ll post a cool Sugar era Bob Mould song. At least this way I raised the level of musical discourse for the day.
When I got my apartment one of my big selling points was my deck. It seemed so cool that I would have this little patio all my own. It made it seem a little less like a completely cookie cutter existence. I even had a view, how awesome is that? I just imagined myself sitting out there on summer nights, reading away.
Well, things didn’t work out quite as well as planned. My patio overlooks a parking lot and my city view consists of a couple of stoplights and skyline dominated by radio towers. Per Missouri state law it is illegal for me to have a barbecue grill, which was good planning on the legislature’s part because it would prove to be dangerous to my health. I also completely misjudged the Kansas City weather as my dreams of coming home from work on a summer night and reading to relax were dashed by the fact that summer nights here are 95 and humid, which along with the exhaust fumes from the road really ruin the moment. But there are a few weeks in spring (with today being a prime example) where I get to sit outside and just relax in some fresher air than what I have in the apartment. Except that I am no longer alone out there.
A few years ago a couple of pigeons decided to roost on my patio. Now I don’t really have a problem with this even though pigeons are nothing more than flying rats. However, they are living creatures and everything has a right to try to make its way in this world and as long as they don’t bother me I won’t bother them. They’re peaceful enough, don’t make noise and due to their nature are really kindred souls to me. Let me explain.
These pigeons have decided to roost on a support plank for the patio above my apartment that is maybe five inches wide. This is not exactly the right size for a nest so they have created some rather intricate engineering work to just keep this thing stable. In addition, my neighborhood lacks trees so I believe that part of their nest is constructed out of Sonic take out cups. While they had the sense to make sure that they are out of the rain they have never learned to anticipate the wind patterns that come with storms and blow down their nest. For years I have watched these birds build a nest, set up shop, have a windstorm knock everything around, and then rebuild the nest. They continually do the exact same thing with the hope that things will work out better next time.
Let’s be honest, I live my life the exact same way. If something fails I just blame luck and go back and try again. At some point it will have to work out. I joked with someone recently that I consider my luck with relationships to be the same as flipping a coin fifty times in a row and getting tails every single time. Sure, from a probabilistic point of view there is nothing wrong with that result but at some point you have to start questioning the coin. I never question the coin, just assume that I am right and move on. That’s not precisely the best attitude to have in life. Eventually I will have to admit that possibly, as unbelievably unlikely as that may be, that I could theoretically be wrong. Of course I’m never wrong so I’ll continue rebuilding my broken nest with my pigeon friends.
Best of 120 Minutes: In honor of 4/20 I was originally going to post the Spin Doctors “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” as a public service message warning children about what music they will end up liking if they do drugs. However, in their infinite wisdom Sony has decided that embedding Spin Doctors videos is a bad thing so I can’t do that. (Apparently there is a huge piracy ring surrounding fifteen year old Spin Doctors songs. Who knew?) Instead I’ll post a cool Sugar era Bob Mould song. At least this way I raised the level of musical discourse for the day.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
MBA = Figure Four Process
Wednesday Night Music Club: Most people know that I wear headphones for the majority of the workday. Hell, I’d wear them the entire day if I didn’t have to do things like talk to people or go to meetings. For those who wonder just what I’m listening to a lot of the time it is Kathleen Edwards. Of all the pretty girls with guitars that I listen to she is my favorite. I’m just incredibly impressed with her songwriting. It’s very natural but really engaging. Plus, I really dig this video.
Ok, I have to bring to everyone’s attention the absolute best web site ever. I believe the entire internet has been created just so that this site can exist. I am talking about www.ricflairfinance.com I know that when I think about obtaining a car loan the first thought that comes to my mind is “I bet if “Nature Boy” Ric Flair was doing the negotiations I would get an even better rate.” I mean he is a limousine riding, jet plane flying, Rolex wearing son of a gun so obviously he knows a lot about money. Well, ignoring the fact that the IRS was going after him for back taxes and all.
Now I do need to be honest here, if you asked me to list my idols Ric Flair is probably still in my top five. The guy was the greatest wrestler that I’ve ever seen. For those of you who go “but wrestling is fake” than just view that as my saying he is the best actor I’ve ever seen. For about a ten year stretch he really was the best performer in the business. The problem is he is now 57 years old and still wrestles. I don’t really want to see him wrestle anymore. I’d like him to retire with dignity and maybe this company will help him do it. Though the picture of him in his wrestling gear on the splash page is probably not the best choice.
Switching topics, my apartment complex has decided to have some fun and reseal the parking lot. Sounds simple enough but this has turned into a comedy of errors. The timeline has changed at least twice to the point that people are confused about where they can and can’t park and end up getting told. Plus, after two weeks of notices of telling us where off the property we can park I come home to a notice today saying “Oops, you really shouldn’t park there.” Also, my apartment now smells like asphalt, which is always a good thing.
Probably my biggest issue is that I now have to park my car outside for the first time in four years. To be honest, this apartment is the first time in my life that I actually had a garage I could park my car in. I never imagined that I would grow so attached to such a thing. It is surprisingly comforting to know that I don’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield or step into a car that is at 120 degrees anymore. I know it shows that my life is pretty sweet when I’m bitching about having to park a block away from my apartment but damnit, sometimes I just don’t feel like walking.
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