And don't get me started on Nermal

There is something very odd about hearing “Your cholesterol is a little high” from your doctor while you’re obsessing over just how many serious injuries you may have inflicted upon yourself. It’s like being in a technical discussion of the formation of hurricanes and being told “You know, clouds look really fluffy.” Yes, it’s obviously true but it’s beside the point.

(That was probably the least surprising medical evaluation I have received in my entire life. I know the way I eat. I’m surprised that I don’t sweat Crisco.)

I know I haven’t explained this medical misadventure, though I probably should have. It would have helped to keep me from obsessing about it as much. Basically I do want to reassure everyone that I am fine and have been told so by several doctors. I basically need to rest and most of all relax. My stress levels have been higher than they have ever been and if you knew the way I was in classes just imagine what that must be like. I did feel like myself for the most part today and that is what I needed to have happen.

I will say that I am glad that Mary Kate Olsen doesn’t own my apartment as I wouldn’t want to put her through any more stress at the moment. Did anyone read that part of the Heath Ledger tragedy? It’s not so much as he was found in an apartment she owned. I’m pretty sure that when she, uh, “enrolled” at NYU she bought an entire apartment building. It’s that when they found Heath the first thing they did was call Mary Kate. That was before dialing 911. I understand that the rich are different from you and I. First of all, they have money. Apparently, they also can provide immediate medical care over the phone. Actually, given that Tom Cruise video out on the interwebs…

Oh, I never commented on the comment earlier this week. I basically don’t comment on Scientology because they are really, really adamant about shutting down people who talk about them. I was around in 1994 when they took out the Anon server and reigned down havoc on the newsgroups. You know, back when people used the internet to read badly written reviews of pro wrestling and download porn. Ok, the purpose hasn’t changed but at least we are no longer using 2400 baud modems. On Scientology, I’ll just say this. You always should be at least marginally skeptical of anything founded by a science fiction writer. As Moe said on The Simpsons, I was born a snake handler and I’m going to die a snake handler.

On the other part of the comment, I’d always take Bucky Katt over Garfield. Though in all honesty I’m much more of a fan of Satchel myself. That’s just who I am, my favorite character on South Park is Butters. The strange thing is how in the world did Garfield ever become this massive success? Really, what is there to that strip when you dig into it at any level? An obese cat who doesn’t like Mondays, a dumb dog and a dumber owner. Yet that’s one of the biggest successes of all time. I’ve just started reading the biography of Charles Schultz and how his life impacted the strip. I don’t see that book ever being written about Garfield.

Ok, I’m calling it a night. I’m really glad that I wrote this post tonight. It feels just like it does when I’ve written all of the other ones in the past. At certain points this week I didn’t know if that was going to be the case. To all of those who have asked how I’m doing, thanks. I really appreciate it.

Or I'll just be a miniature golf scorekeeper...

Best of 120 Minutes: Wow, now I feel old. I just realized that this song came out when I was a senior in high school. Back when we thought that the fall of the Berlin Wall was a big deal. Does anyone else realize that kids in college today have no idea what the Cold War was like? Seriously, they’ve never had to deal with a communist threat. Hence, they probably don’t care about the Olympics nearly as much as I do.

Anyway, I actually remember sitting in a high school assembly grooving to this song. Why it was being played I have no idea. Also, I’ve drank with the bass player of Jesus Jones. How in the world that actually happened is beyond me. Still better than my brother’s story of drinking with REO Speedwagon.

So I took Friday off and slept in until eleven. Yep, that’s how freaking sleep deprived I’ve been recently. There are a lot of reasons why I sometimes don’t make much sense, a complete lack of sleep is one of them. My main reason for taking the day off was to have a follow up with my doctor on my medical misadventure from last month. The good news is that I have been given an effectively clean bill of health. The bad news is I still have regular appointments “until I feel normal again.” I still haven’t figured out if that is my sense of normal or what a regular person would consider normal. To be honest, I have no idea what that would feel like. I assume that when I find Adam Sandler films funny I’ll be considered normal. Talk about the cure being worse than the disease.

The fun thing is that my doctor is at KU Med so I also have med students using me as their test subject. He was showing the student how to listen to heart and lungs. Not a big deal to me, I’ve got a great doctor and I understood this when I went to KU Med in the first place. However, it just feels bizarre to have a doctor use me as an example of a perfectly healthy specimen. I even have a healthy liver apparently. I have no idea how that is even possible.

On that note, I was out at the bars last night. Given the way my week had gone I kind of needed a night out on my own. Also, this was one of my favorite weekends to go out as I get to rip on Halloween costumes. Personally, I told everyone that I was dressed as Bill Gates. Do you know how many months I have worked to perfect this flabby physique, unmanageable hair and unfashionable glasses? That is dedication to a costume.

(Question for whoever reads this: Should I do the following for Wednesday: buy a red and white striped shirt, a red and white striped stocking cap, put on my old glasses, and sit in a bar and gauge people’s reaction? After how many cries of “We’ve found Waldo” do you think I would go insane?)

Some things I learned from watching the crowd last night. I’m pretty confident that wearing a banana costume will not result in affection from the ladies. A KU shirt and a pillow makes for a rather effective impersonation of their football coach. The Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox combination was actually rather clever and it took me time to get the reference. Props to the guy dressed like Hunter S. Thompson, which is something I should do one of these years. Still, nothing that tops the Rainbow Brite girl from last year or the guy dressed as a shower.

And sadly, I didn’t run into the Morton Salt girl. In either the actual girl I talked to last year or the metaphorical girl of my dreams who may or may not be carrying a yellow umbrella at any given moment in time. But it’s not Halloween yet and you should never count me out. Life always has its way of making my stories for me.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Eleni Mandell “Afternoon”
2) Immaculate Machine “Fables”
3) Various Artists “Soundtrack to Before Sunrise and Before Sunset”
4) Aimee Mann “The Forgotten Arm”
5) Mary Lou Lord “Got No Shadow”