Here
is my latest example of either what it is like to live in South Florida or why
I should just start writing “The Fall of the American Empire” now so that I can
be the first person to get it published when the end eventually happens.
Earlier today I was reading one of those local area magazines (the type that
are not technically advertisements but are certainly not a hotbed for
investigative journalism) and they had a four page article on miniature golf.
Nothing wrong with that and it certainly led me to read the article though the
fact that this article made the magazine cover should give you a sense of what
this magazine was like.
No,
what just blew my mind was the one paragraph that discussed, and I swear I am
not making this up, “the long lasting health benefits of playing miniature
golf.” Let’s just analyze this shall we? This article is postulating that
playing miniature golf is a great form of exercise because you a) walk, b)
vaguely swing your arms occasionally and c) have to bend over a few times. I’m
not being cynical in that list: the author specifically called out those
activities. We have apparently reached the point where we are so useless as a
society that standing up and bending over occasionally is considered a
challenging workout. To be honest I am surprised that no one has picked up on
using golf carts on miniature golf courses or at least install a moving sidewalk.
I
know that I shouldn’t be the one to talk about physical fitness but I am amazed
at how things have changed over my lifetime. When we were at Disney World last
year I was stunned by just how many people you would see riding electric
scooters throughout the park. This wasn’t because they were elderly or
incapable of walking; in fact, you could see nothing that would prevent them
from walking. But there they were, lined up like their own little ride, and you
would look and wonder if they were just too lazy to walk. That is something I
cannot remember seeing growing up.
I do
exercise regularly, nothing insane but some good effort several times a week.
Over the past few years of doing this and changing my diet to the point that I
eat actual food and drink less beer I’ve ended up losing about 35 pounds and am
actually in the normal weight range for my height. Just being in the normal
range places me above average in terms of healthy weight which is a completely
paradoxical sentence to write. The main thing though is that you have to do
something. You have to sweat. You have to get off the couch. Miniature golf
will do the latter but I doubt that it will do the former. If it does the
former you probably have a few other issues to worry about.
Best
of 120 Minutes: Let’s get the week started with some Social Distortion
The
five random CDs for the week:
1)
Josh
Rouse “Nashville”
2)
Loreena
McKennitt “To Drive the Cold Winter Away”
3)
Various
Artists “Emerald Rock”
4)
Jon
Dee Graham “Escape from Monster Island”
5)
R.E.M.
“Eponymous”
