The real world got slightly more real

(Given all the hype about 10/10/10 you’d think that today being 10/20/2010 would get some life. It is almost, but not quite, a palindrome, which is almost, but not quite, the alternative name for the governor’s mansion in Alaska.)

When I was writing about MTV and Jersey Shore earlier this week I forgot to bring up one important point, which is the fact that the network is promoting both Jersey Shore and Teen Mom simultaneously. Essentially they are saying “If you party, get black out drunk and hook up with everyone you meet we will give you your own television show! And if we don’t give you a show on that go around just come to us when you are pregnant with no future and we will send out the camera crew!” It seems to be a really, really bizarre message to bring.

It’s also amazing to see the difference between what people on MTV’s reality shows do now versus what they did in my time. On the first couple of seasons of the Real World none of the people hooked up with anyone, especially on camera. Even though Pam and Judd ended up getting married from the San Francisco cast you never saw any on screen action. The first that I can remember is the shower scene in Miami (which would be season 5) and then I think you would probably have to go a few years after that. Now, it would be stranger for the stars of the show to not be hooking up.

Now part of this is the fact that we have become a bit more promiscuous as a society over the past 20 years though not by much. Attractive young people tend to sleep with each other no matter what situation they find themselves in. I doubt that it is because MTV is now more eager to show this type of footage because I know people in reality TV and they pretty much kill for these types of scenes. Sex results in ratings pretty easily. No, what I think is the real cause is that the people on the show are much more willing to become exhibitionists in exchange for momentary fame.

Think about it. The cast of the Jersey Shore is not operating under any pretense that they are part of a true to life documentary. This isn’t an attempt to capture the true essence of their existence. They’ve essentially been cast to play a role in real life that is almost, but not entirely, like their actual life. So if that means being filmed in compromising situations so be it. The Situation is going to make four million dollars this year for doing just that. Good work if you can get it.

Now excuse me, I have to bang my head against the wall for the next hour after realizing that someone who calls himself “The Situation” is going to make four million dollars this year.

Wednesday Night Music Club: David Ford is probably my favorite singer that absolutely no one has ever heard of. How this guy isn’t a superstar is beyond me.

Lindsay Lohan: Threat or Menace

Ok, I know I write about Lindsay Lohan a lot but the stories this week have just been too good to pass up. Here is some background to keep in mind when you read this. My Beloved Lindsay is currently on probation due to her DUI / cocaine possession / crazy woman conviction. As part of her probation she was supposed to attend weekly alcohol abuse meetings unless she was forced to leave town due to business in which case she would be able to travel with a judge’s permission. Given that no one will hire Lindsay for anything other than dancing around a pole this did not seem like much of a challenge. However, going into her court date on Thursday she had not attended enough meetings and as of Thursday would be in violation of her probation.

Now where was Lindsay in those last weeks prior to the court date? Running around town doubling up on meetings just to meet the deadline like a kid cramming for finals? Of course not that would be silly and / or rather logical. Instead she was at the Cannes Film Festival theoretically promoting a new film. Again, no one believes that such a film exists or that anyone would want to see her star in anything. And even if she did you would have to think that you would prefer not to have your star in jail when the film is released to an audience larger than the Blockbuster video next door that is about to shut down. So basically she just spent the week getting trashed at parties. But don’t worry, she’ll get home in time for her court date.

Except that she missed her first flight “due to the Iceland volcano.” This is almost a believable claim given that some flights were cancelled this week due to the ash in the air produced by our good friends in Iceland because they have nothing else to do. (If you lived in Iceland you would probably want to ruin everyone else’s fun too.) However, people looked into it and found out that there were plenty of flights leaving Paris for the States with seats available. Yes, she might have needed to take a train to Paris but it was certainly manageable. So it was time for the second excuse which is….

Someone stole her passport. Yes, the same woman who had thousands of dollars of jewelry stolen from her in Heathrow now had someone steal her passport. When I travel outside the country I am basically paranoid about my passport. If it is not on me it is locked in a safe somewhere and I have a photocopy of the information page on me. I never understand how someone loses a passport or has one stolen unless they have a purse or backpack stolen. But Lindsay, on the day she has to fly back to the States for a probation hearing that will most likely end in jail time just happens to lose her passport. What a coincidence.

We should just admit it right now. Lindsay is a criminal fugitive who has fled overseas in an attempt to find political amnesty in a foreign country. She’s like Roman Polanski except with more cocaine and less felony charges. We need to get Interpol on this (along with telling them to stop making such crappy records.) She is a menace who must be brought to justice.

Wednesday Night Music Club: David Ford covering the Counting Crows “Round Here” in his typical one man band fashion. Why this guy isn’t a huge star just amazes me. Saw him as an opening act for Gomez a few years back and was just blown away by his performance.