Time for part two in my epic quest to get fit and make a fool out of myself in the process. Here are the remaining Wii Fit Plus games that will continued to be scored on exercise time, calories burned and what someone would say to you if they walked into the room while you were working out.
Obstacle Course: This is probably the most disappointing of all of the mini-games. It promises to be a real life, first person Super Mario Brothers. Run! Dodge swinging medicine balls like in the original American Gladiators! Jump! Well, try to jump because you can’t actually jump on the balance board without breaking it and the squat to jump action doesn’t work for me at all. I might jump, I might not, there is no rhyme or reason to it. Makes for a horrible experience and leaves me hoping for an American Gladiators video game. And the one with Nitro not that damn Wolf version. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 10, “Ooh, watch out for Bowser!”
Tilt City: Probably my favorite game of the whole bunch even though it really has no exercise component to it. Well, maybe that is the reason but hear me out. You hold the Wiimote in your hands while on the balance board and have to shift your hands and your balance to help guide colored balls into the correct buckets. Think of it as a giant game of Plinko with you controlling the plinks. For someone like me who has no coordination this is actually a fun, challenging exercise that helps me get my upper body, lower body and brain all working in sync. It probably looks silly but it is beneficial. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “Shake that moneymaker.”
Rhythm Parade: Finally, an activity for those of us who feel that Advanced Step is not embarrassing enough. Now you get to be your very own drum major leading a parade. My fist problem is that I have to march in time with the rhythm, which requires that I, well, have rhythm. Also, the outfit your character is wearing is less than appealing. As you march you have to lift your arms in the air at the proper times to build a larger band. So all you do is march and fling your hands around wildly for a few minutes. You don’t even get to do that cool Penn State standing flip at the end. Well, I try to pull it off but it isn’t really recommended. Exercise Time: 3 minutes, Calories Burned: 17, “So how was that time at Band Camp?”
Big Top Juggling: I have made it clear in the past that one of my goals in life is to learn how to juggle. Well now I can learn how to juggle without having to actually juggle and I get to do it while standing on top of a ball! Or at least that is what my Mii is doing in this game that works on balance and hand eye coordination. This is another one that is more entertaining than it should be as I am really striving to improve my technique. That is what the Wii is best at, every once in a while you come across a game that you just want to conquer. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7, “This would be so much cooler if it involved chainsaws.”
Skateboard Arena: Thankfully the typical synthetic pop is replaced in this game by Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8ter Boi”. Pretty basic as your goal is to skate around an arena, hitting objects for points and performing tricks. Steering is by leaning forward and back or, in my case, running into walls and hoping it points you in the right direction. Not too bad but nothing too memorable. Put this one in the category of “at least you aren’t embarrassed by it.” Still can’t touch the best skating game ever: “Skate or Die” on the Commodore 64. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7 calories, “Where’s Poochie?”
Table Tilt Plus: A remake of a game from the original Wii Fit, which was a remake of Marble Madness to begin with. Using the balance board you move your marbles (and no, that is not meant to be a sexual innuendo) from one side of the board to the other avoiding the obstacles in the way. Another good game and one that teaches fine body control. Again, you aren’t going to become an athlete by doing this game but you might get a better sense of balance and given the challenges that I have staying upright that is a good thing. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “This would be much cooler as pinball.”
Balance Bubble Plus: Another remake of a game with this one being the boy in the bubble without the whole John Travolta movie connections. In a game that never quite made much sense from a plot perspective you are in a bubble that must go through this winding river without touching the sides causing the bubble to burst. No, I do not understand how a bubble could withstand my weight but brushing up against a twig would break it. Enjoyable up to the point where you finish the course and then you never feel like playing it again. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “I am concerned about any video games where bees are your mortal enemy.”
Basic Run Plus: The last game is yet another remake from the original version, which shows that they are completely lying about having new material. Here you run in place while your Mii runs outside on a path following a cat. I am not making this up; your guide is a kitty cat. Now I have known a few cats in my time and the last thing I would consider any of them to be is good jogging partners. Also, I was chided at for running too fast to start and then told I did not work hard enough when I finished. Seriously, if you want me to work out let me work out. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 10, “I still don’t understand why you don’t go outside and run.”
Final Tally: 17 minutes and 66 calories. Nothing close to a workout but more enjoyable than the first batch of games. The basic way to look at the Wii Fit franchise is that it will not make you an athlete but can probably help you keep your shape. Things like the yoga and strength training exercises are very good and will get you working. It is a really fun game though and I’ve been using it for two months now and anything that can hold my interest for that long has to be entertaining.
Showing posts with label Wii fit plus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wii fit plus. Show all posts
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Exercise for the virtual age
As many people know I am in the process of trying to lose some weight and get down to a more healthy level of chubbiness. In my attempt to try any and all paths to reach this goal I have enlisted my Nintendo Wii in my battle against the bulge. Specifically, I am a “proud” user of Wii Fit. Well, on Sunday I picked up Wii Fit Plus and I thought that it would be good to review the new mini-games that are included in the package. Each game will be scored based on number of minutes per exercise, calories my fat ass burns doing the exercise and what a random person would say if they walked into the room while you were doing it.
Advanced Step: This isn’t a new exercise but I start off all of my workouts with it so I thought that I would include it. This is essentially step aerobics using a rather small step. Hence, it is mainly step up, step down, step to the side, kick your leg in the air, clap and generally look like an idiot. This is all done to the most annoying computerized song that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Honestly, I will be in the middle of a meeting at work and the song will enter my brain. Despite all of this (and the fact that I have no rhythm and trip constantly under normal circumstances) I have worked my butt off to be an expert at this one. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 28, “Dude, how is Richard Simmons doing nowadays?”
Perfect 10: Finally, a video game that combines my two favorite things: basic math and thrusting my hips in various directions. Here is the point of the game: your avatar is surrounded by numbers and you must thrust your hips in the appropriate directions to light up the numbers so that they add up to ten. Given that I have blogged my life for five years I obviously have no shame but even being alone and doing this is embarrassing as hell. Plus, it would be cooler if it involved calculus. Exercise Time: 1 minute, Calories Burned: 4, “Oh yeah! Duffman thrusting in the general direction!”
Island Cycling: This one wasn’t actually that bad. To bike you walk in place on the balance board and steer using the Wiimote. You ride around the island (same one from Wii Sports Resort) and go through checkpoints. Not entirely the most exciting game in existence but it does actually get your heart rate up. Plus, for part of the ride you are joined by your Virtual Dog and I am just a sucker for virtual pets. Exercise Time: 4 minutes, Calories Burned: 14, “So let me get this straight. You are pretending to bicycle in paradise by walking in place in your apartment?”
Rhythm Kung Fu: I had such high hopes for this one. Rhythm Boxing was my favorite part of the original Wii Fit and the only one that made me feel like I was actually working out. This one just sucks big time. Technically you are supposed to punch and kick in time with your character. Problem is exactly what you are supposed to do isn’t clear, the timing is even less obvious and throwing one punch every twenty seconds isn’t much of a workout. When the first words that come to your mind in describing an exercise are “boring and confusing” something is horribly wrong. Plus, the whole thing has this David Carradine vibe and I just don’t need to be thinking about embarrassing bondage deaths while I work out. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 12, “At what point do you get to beat up ninjas?”
Driving Range: I am still working on my opinion on this one. Here, the Wiimote and Balance Board allow you to take some swings on a virtual driving range. This could actually prove quite useful as it tracks your center of balance and your swing and could conceivably help your golf game. There are some problems though. One is that I’ve been chastised for swinging the Wiimote to hard, which makes it tough to accurately replicate my normal swing. More importantly is that it is impossible to hold the Wiimote with two hands like a golf club. I finally went back to the way my dad first taught me to swing a club and that was by just using my left hand. That seemed to work out much better. It might not be perfect but it is an interesting way to spend your time. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 25, “Wow, even the computer version of you slices every single shot.”
Segway Circuit: So, in this instance you exercise by imagining that you are on a machine that requires you to use no muscle groups whatsoever. The fact that I do this instead of working out on the treadmill that is in my own building or, you know, run outside is beyond me. Anyway, you lean forward and back to drive, steer with the Wiimote and try to hit beach balls before they are destroyed by a giant mechanical gopher. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Exercise Time: 3 minutes, Calories Burned: 8, “At what point did leaning forward officially become labeled as exercise?”
Bird’s Eye Bulls Eye: This game is fun, challenging and horribly embarrassing starting from the moment you see that your Mii is in a bird costume. The idea here is that you flap your arms up and down to fly (on the screen, not in real life, though I probably didn’t need to explain that), lean to steer and try to land on targets as opposed to, I don’t know, doing other bird associated activities. Like fly into windows or congregate on statues. You will feel this in your arms but there is no way that flapping your arms in the middle of a room does not make you look like an idiot. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7, “You really laid an egg with that score. Get it? Laid an egg?”
Snowball Fight: So one of the things about the Wii is that each person creates a Mii to represent themselves. This is cool that these other Miis appear in the game with you. Thus, in this game I get to hit Virtual Kim with a snowball. This is the only time I expect to ever experience that event as a) she wisely lives in Florida and b) I would much prefer it if Real Kim remained my Real Girlfriend. The entirety of this game consists of leaning to the side and pointing the remote at the screen. Seriously, it has the same level of difficulty as standing up to change the channel. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “You probably didn’t need to put on all your workout gear if you were just going to stand up.”
Total: 24 minutes and 103 calories. That said, I can in no way call that a real workout. On a treadmill in that same time I would be well over 200 calories and even running to nowhere is more fulfilling than some of these. Still, they are kind of fun at times and part of the point is that they are stupid.
Tomorrrow, the remaining eight games. Including the wonder that is Rhythm Parade.
Advanced Step: This isn’t a new exercise but I start off all of my workouts with it so I thought that I would include it. This is essentially step aerobics using a rather small step. Hence, it is mainly step up, step down, step to the side, kick your leg in the air, clap and generally look like an idiot. This is all done to the most annoying computerized song that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Honestly, I will be in the middle of a meeting at work and the song will enter my brain. Despite all of this (and the fact that I have no rhythm and trip constantly under normal circumstances) I have worked my butt off to be an expert at this one. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 28, “Dude, how is Richard Simmons doing nowadays?”
Perfect 10: Finally, a video game that combines my two favorite things: basic math and thrusting my hips in various directions. Here is the point of the game: your avatar is surrounded by numbers and you must thrust your hips in the appropriate directions to light up the numbers so that they add up to ten. Given that I have blogged my life for five years I obviously have no shame but even being alone and doing this is embarrassing as hell. Plus, it would be cooler if it involved calculus. Exercise Time: 1 minute, Calories Burned: 4, “Oh yeah! Duffman thrusting in the general direction!”
Island Cycling: This one wasn’t actually that bad. To bike you walk in place on the balance board and steer using the Wiimote. You ride around the island (same one from Wii Sports Resort) and go through checkpoints. Not entirely the most exciting game in existence but it does actually get your heart rate up. Plus, for part of the ride you are joined by your Virtual Dog and I am just a sucker for virtual pets. Exercise Time: 4 minutes, Calories Burned: 14, “So let me get this straight. You are pretending to bicycle in paradise by walking in place in your apartment?”
Rhythm Kung Fu: I had such high hopes for this one. Rhythm Boxing was my favorite part of the original Wii Fit and the only one that made me feel like I was actually working out. This one just sucks big time. Technically you are supposed to punch and kick in time with your character. Problem is exactly what you are supposed to do isn’t clear, the timing is even less obvious and throwing one punch every twenty seconds isn’t much of a workout. When the first words that come to your mind in describing an exercise are “boring and confusing” something is horribly wrong. Plus, the whole thing has this David Carradine vibe and I just don’t need to be thinking about embarrassing bondage deaths while I work out. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 12, “At what point do you get to beat up ninjas?”
Driving Range: I am still working on my opinion on this one. Here, the Wiimote and Balance Board allow you to take some swings on a virtual driving range. This could actually prove quite useful as it tracks your center of balance and your swing and could conceivably help your golf game. There are some problems though. One is that I’ve been chastised for swinging the Wiimote to hard, which makes it tough to accurately replicate my normal swing. More importantly is that it is impossible to hold the Wiimote with two hands like a golf club. I finally went back to the way my dad first taught me to swing a club and that was by just using my left hand. That seemed to work out much better. It might not be perfect but it is an interesting way to spend your time. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 25, “Wow, even the computer version of you slices every single shot.”
Segway Circuit: So, in this instance you exercise by imagining that you are on a machine that requires you to use no muscle groups whatsoever. The fact that I do this instead of working out on the treadmill that is in my own building or, you know, run outside is beyond me. Anyway, you lean forward and back to drive, steer with the Wiimote and try to hit beach balls before they are destroyed by a giant mechanical gopher. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Exercise Time: 3 minutes, Calories Burned: 8, “At what point did leaning forward officially become labeled as exercise?”
Bird’s Eye Bulls Eye: This game is fun, challenging and horribly embarrassing starting from the moment you see that your Mii is in a bird costume. The idea here is that you flap your arms up and down to fly (on the screen, not in real life, though I probably didn’t need to explain that), lean to steer and try to land on targets as opposed to, I don’t know, doing other bird associated activities. Like fly into windows or congregate on statues. You will feel this in your arms but there is no way that flapping your arms in the middle of a room does not make you look like an idiot. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7, “You really laid an egg with that score. Get it? Laid an egg?”
Snowball Fight: So one of the things about the Wii is that each person creates a Mii to represent themselves. This is cool that these other Miis appear in the game with you. Thus, in this game I get to hit Virtual Kim with a snowball. This is the only time I expect to ever experience that event as a) she wisely lives in Florida and b) I would much prefer it if Real Kim remained my Real Girlfriend. The entirety of this game consists of leaning to the side and pointing the remote at the screen. Seriously, it has the same level of difficulty as standing up to change the channel. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “You probably didn’t need to put on all your workout gear if you were just going to stand up.”
Total: 24 minutes and 103 calories. That said, I can in no way call that a real workout. On a treadmill in that same time I would be well over 200 calories and even running to nowhere is more fulfilling than some of these. Still, they are kind of fun at times and part of the point is that they are stupid.
Tomorrrow, the remaining eight games. Including the wonder that is Rhythm Parade.
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